The Search

Chapter 1 -Lonely. Ashlynn POV. It's you and your world and I'm stuck in the middle, I got the edge of the knife and it hurt just a little. It's not like I asked for this, no one would ever ask for this, but I'm lonely, and it's a lonely night, the loneliest night of my life, okay I'm done using song lyrics to describe what's going on with me. I'm lonely, that's the thing that's killing me on the inside, I'm lonely, there's a big hole in my chest, a feeling of missing something or someone. My soul isn't complete, there's a big piece of me gone, or maybe I haven't found it yet, I feel the need to go out there and search for my lost piece, I can't take this pain, this emptiness. I feel the need to cry, to mourn, to yell and scream, but all of those won't help my broken heart, what I need is someone to love, all wolves would look for their mate, for someone to lay over their shoulder and feel loved. That's what we are wolves, but we are souls who were broken in half, we're never complete until we find our other half, only then we'd feel the peace. Maybe you know me, maybe you remember me from my sibling's stories, you know my older brothers, they found their other half, they are now mated and living their happily ever after. Jacob's mate moved in with us, she was our new stepsister, my brother Jordan, he's my favourite was and would always be, we started so much chaos together, but he's not here anymore, he got mated when he moved for training in another pack, now he lives there. Jordan and Micah are doing well, thank you for asking, Kiara and Jacob are also well, we've grown up a few years since the last time you saw us and our stories, I'm not sixteen anymore, I graduated high school, and then went to university, I even studied something I really love, I studied Archaeology. It's the science of studying the ancient and recent human past through material remains, it's going back in time and discovering new treasures, I loved it, but this job requires me to leave the small town I was raised in, I wasn't born here, but it's all I remember, I can't remember the pack where my mother used to be the alpha. My current mother, she's the one I call mom, she's my aunt on my mother's side, she's her sister, the one who raised me, the one who brushed my hair, the one who kissed my injuries. She's the only mother I know, she's also our current alpha, along with my older brother Keiran, he's the next one in charge, and after him comes my other brother and beta Jacob. And the next one in charge of being the most dominant wolves in the pack, I'm the third in command, used to be forth, but with Kitty gone, it's me, kitty is Jordan, it's my nickname to my blond brother with green eyes, they shine like a cat eye. I'm twenty-five now, yeah I'm getting old, I'm over my teenager years, I'm past my adulting year, the biggest year in our life, the one where we reach the big age of twenty-one, it's really important for all wolves, it's the year where we find our mates, we could feel the pull toward them before, but at the age of twenty-one, you are sure who your mate is, everything in you calls to them, their scent, their look, once you find them, you'd know it's them. I haven't found that special someone yet, I knew I'm dominant, I would be able to identify them, but they aren't in my pack, they aren't in my brother's new pack either, they aren't anywhere to be found, and here I'm going insane. "Keiran, I'm going out," I call in the house, I don't need permission anymore, I'm too old to be told no, I didn't move out of my mother's house either, why would I? I can't survive alone, no wolf likes to live alone, we need to stay together, we need to be close and connected, I'm the happiest in my mother's place, I got my siblings with me here. "Wait up," Jacob yells after me, I stopped and turned to him, he was holding Kiara's hand, his mate, my sister, she had her lilac hair pulled up in two french braids, mom's doing. Even after all these years she and mom would need some time alone together, she started her journey in our family hating everyone, but now she loves us, and I hope she does, I love having her as my sister. "You two want to come?" I asked them, I was hoping they'd come too, we'll have more fun together, I won't be as lonely. "No, Kiki isn't feeling her best," he says, I frowned. "Are you okay Kiara? What's wrong?" I ask her. "My tummy ache," she says in a low voice, she's in her little space, when she regresses Kiara is no older than four years old, most days we'd regress together, but I wasn't feeling like it, Kiara got Jacob to take care of her while I had no one. "You need anything?" I ask my brother again. "Are you feeling big?" he asks, I rolled my eyes at him, I look big, I'm feeling big, can't he see that, I had one of my evening dresses on, a full face of makeup and high heels. "What do you think?" I ask him with sass. "Just be careful please," he says, I smile and nod, I left the house and moved to my car, yes my car, I learned how to drive and got my own car now, no need to steal one of my brother's car anymore. Although it was fun, I never gave up on borrowing their cars, even after that one-time incident where we ended up in jail, I kept borrowing their cars until mom bought me one of my own. I got inside my orange Hyundai car, it's special, other than my siblings' neutral colour cars, my little side loves that our car is special. I drove out of the driveway slowly and steadily, making sure not to go too fast, even at this age I still get yelled at for driving too fast, once I left the perimeter of our home, I sped off toward the town, heading to the club. It's not little's night today, but that's fine by me, I could use a night off, and a chance to meet people other than my siblings. Chapter 2 -Amber. Ashlynn POV. When I made it to the club, I parked my car and got out, moving toward the door, the bouncer is my friend, he was my friend since I was much younger, since the first time I came over to the club, I used to only come to the littles nights. But now I come over on regular basis, he smiled when he saw me, and I stopped to say my hellos. "Hey Bennie," I say with a smile. "Miss Ash, happy to see you again, you feeling better?" he asks me, last time I came over, I was in my little space, I was all alone, and I happened to trip and scratch my knee. "Yeah, I'm all good," I say, the scratch healed before I made it home, but the little side of me was hurt and in pain, she wanted a caregiver of her own, but I'm all alone. "That's good, tonight is a sub night, you sure you want to go in?" he asks me, I thought it was a neutral night, no real events, but I needed the night out, I won't object to any event they have ready. "That's fine," I say ready to get in, but Bennie stopped me again, I looked at him starting to get annoyed by his movement. "Yes?" I ask him. "If little Ash shows up inside, she's gonna be traumatized," he says, I rolled my eyes yet again, can't he see that I'm feeling big, why is everyone mentioning little me, I don't feel little at all. "Don't worry, she doesn't plan on making an appearance," I assure him, until he finally allowed me to get in the club. I walked in on my own, going right toward the bar, I knew the bartender too, his name is David and he's a good friend to me and my siblings. "Hey," I say taking a seat on the bar looking at him with another smile, finger crossed he won't mention my little side too. "Ashlynn!" he calls to me with a smile, he had a customer he was making a drink for, I waited for him to be done, showing off all of his tricks before coming toward me. "What can I get you princess?" he asks, I wasn't going to order apple juice in a sippy cup, I'm not feeling little at all. "I'll take a Malibu," I say deciding to have some alcohol, I won't get drunk, it'll take more than one drink to get tipsy. "You sure?" he asks me, looking at me, I rolled my eyes at him, seriously? What's up with people in this club, if they weren't my friends I would go to another club. "Yes, David, I'm sure," I inform him, he got me my drink, I thanked him and went to find a table to sit at. The club was full with people everyone was dressed up, I saw short dresses, people who were dressed in full on leathers, dark jeans were also a big trend around here. I looked for an empty table, sitting down, watching everyone else, some were sitting on the chairs, others were on their knees, the back rooms were also being used. The back rooms are filled with toys, well not the littles toys we like and enjoy when feeling young, it's more of paddles, leathers, chains, cuffs, and anything else you could imagine, it's fifty shades of grey playroom, only much better. I don't play, I never participate, but I've seen them, they scare me most days, especially when little me starts to show, deciding to ignore little me today, I took a sip of my drink, it burned going down my throat, but it's the good kind of burn. "Hey, you mind if I sit down?" a girl asks me, I turned to her, she was beautiful, that was my first thought, blond hair, blue eyes, she was much shorter than me, but her heels helped with that, her make-up was on point along with a short black dress. "Yeah, sure," I say, seeing her sit down next to me, she had a drink too, I took another sip of mu drink, still looking around the club, not starting any kind of chat with her, maybe I could go home and colour with Kiara. "You come here often?" she asks me, gaining my attention, I turned to her. "Yeah, been coming since I was sixteen," I tell her. "Wow, and they allowed you in?" she asks making me chuckle, I used to only come to little nights with my brothers, since no alcohol was allowed, I was allowed in. "Yeah, my brothers know a guy," I lie, not wanting to explain things to her. "That's cool," she says, she doesn't smell of wolf, she doesn't look like a wolf, I've never seen her in the pack meetings before. "You from around here?" I ask her this time, I've never seen her before, not on neutral nights or around the town. "No, I just came over for the event," she says, oh, does that mean she's a submissive? "You're here to play?" I ask her, she nods her head yes. "What about you, you're up for playing?" she asks me l*****g her lips, does she want to play with me? "Uhhh...I'm not much of..." I say not knowing how to explain things to her. "You're not much of? You're here aren't you, that mean you're at least interested," she says, making me go speechless, I'm here cause I'm feeling lonely, but I should leave if I'm not in to playing. "I'm Mistress Amber what's your name?" she asks me, but I wasn't a submissive, I'm but not this type of submissive. "I'm Ashlynn," I answer her. "That's a pretty name, you are a pretty girl Ashlynn," she says her hand going to my hair, tucking a lose strand behind my ear. "Tha...thank you," I mumble why is she making me stutter, I never stutter. "You're welcome sweet heart, have you played before?" she asks me, it's my chance to run, but I was always a curious creature, I want to try everything. "No, not this kind of playing," I say honestly. "Would you like to try?" she asks me, I thought about it for a second, sure why not. "Yeah," I answer her. "Your safe word is going to be lollipop, say it," she says in a firm voice, sounding dominant and scary. "Lollipop," I say the word after her in a whisper. "Good girl, now get down on your knee," she orders me, I decided to throw all caution out of the window and try new things. Chapter 3 -Love Ashlynn POV.