LOVING YOU WITH ALL YOUR FLAWS

Naledi Shanelle Mogapi is the name. I'm a 23-year-old daughter of Mamiki Mogapi. Well, I don’t know my father because apparently he refused me to the point that he told my mother to abort me, which I wish my mother should have done just that, because she also abandoned me with her mother (my grandmother) as soon as I was brought home from the hospital. She left and only sent money for my upkeep. It hurts because what I wanted was her love and not her stupid money, but hey it is what it is right. Anyway, the thing is I have albinism, my skin is smooth and pure without any acne or any other skin problems like my fellow albino brothers and sisters have, which I'm glad because it’s hard enough to develop one pimple on your face especially when you are about to see your periods so imagine having them all over your body that is why i'm grateful. Well, apparently I'm a product of an affair. My mother dated a married man called James Moeketsi. When she fell pregnant with me, the guy asked her to abort me because he couldn’t lose his family (wife and kids). Well, apparently my mother kept the pregnancy hoping to trap him with it, but after I was born and she was told i have albinism, I guess she saw me as a curse and I was told she wanted to give me up for adoption but my granny took me in instead and raised me to be the woman I am today. My so-called mother likes to say the more I grow up is the more I look like my so-called father and apparently that pisses her off and also makes her want to throw up, because whenever she looks at me she sees him. It is as if I asked her to open her fat thighs to a married man, well enough about my so-called mother. Anyway, I have a 1 year and 9-month-old baby girl who doesn't have albinism named Lesedi which means Light, and yep she’s my light that one on this dark life I'm living and she looks just like her absent father to the core, and it pains me every time I look at her but you know what, I love her so much and I don’t think I can live without her because she always and I mean always puts a smile on my face. She’s the reason I wake up every day to go and hustle. Anyway, concerning her father, let’s say he told me to abort when I told him i'm pregnant and he immediately broke up with me giving me that “it’s not you it’s me bullshit”. I heard he paid dowry for some girl and they will soon get married, and can you believe he hasn’t seen his daughter or attempted to even after I told him I couldn’t abort and that I gave birth to a baby girl and that she looks like him. He just told me to F#CK OFF and stop calling him because he can never father "an albino child" but what he didn’t know is that she’s not a curse like me (like my mother always says to me). Well, life has been hard to tell the truth because you all know the stigma concerning people living with albinism in our society even today. It’s been tough even though people say I'm a different kind of albino (can you imagine) but they still treated me differently and others still do even today, but hey its life right. When life throws you lemons, you make a delicious lemonade out of it. Anyway, I'm from a place called Soshanguve in Pretoria, South Africa and I study part-time at a college and also work part-time at a retail store, so I do not depend on koko’s (granny's) pension money to survive. I also help out in the house since mommy dearest stopped sending money for my upkeep the time she found out I'm pregnant. Well, I live with my lovely grandmother and my annoying uncle named Thabo ( koko’s last born son) and I must say it’s been hard living with him, cause firstly he’s a pig and he doesn’t like to clean after himself which pisses me off because it's like im his maid busy cleaning after him. I'm also scared to be left alone with him because he always makes stupid comments like “ he wants to taste me and feel what it’s like to f#ck an albino”. Imagine my own blood uncle saying that to me God. I once told my grandmother and she reprimanded him, but aarg whenever she’s not around, he continues to make those nasty and creepy comments, especially when he is drunk, which scares the living daylights out of me because I'm scared one of these days he might force himself on me. I always breathe a sigh of relief when he’s not around and live in fear when he’s around, so guys tell me what kind of life is this? Anyway, this is my life and i hope things change as time goes on, because Lesedi needs a different environment to grow up in. A peaceful and loving environment and not this toxic one that is caused by uncle dearest, because I also fear for Lesedi's safety.