A spider's whimper

Mistakes Can't Be Fixed(1)

Penny lied and gave the blondie a small nod, trying to mask the confusion and disbelief that swirled within her. She couldn't comprehend what the hell Johnny was talking about. Was he saying that he wasn't happy? How could that be? Penny was happy, very happy with their relationship.

Sure, they had their fair share of ups and downs. Like any couple, they always found a way to work things out. Together, they weathered storms, fought through tough times. Penny believed in their love to overcome any obstacle.

But now, Johnny's words shattered that belief. They left her questioning everything she thought she knew. How could he suddenly feel that their relationship wasn't enough? Had she been blind to his true feelings all this time? Realization felt strongly, taking her breath away instantly.

The room suddenly felt colder. Penny's mind raced, desperately searching for answers, for any semblance of understanding. She couldn't accept that their love was no longer sufficient. She couldn't fathom a future without Johnny by her side.

So why did things feel different now?

“I’ve thought a lot about this. Which is honestly an accomplishment in itself. Just…listen. You’re my girlfriend, and I love you. But this…what we have now…I want-”

"...no way..." Penny suddenly muttered, her voice filled with disbelief and a tinge of anger. She clenched her teeth, shutting her eyes tightly, unable to bear another word of it. The truth hit her like a ton of bricks, confirming her worst fear. Johnny must have been trying to dump her. All the signs were there, from his distant behavior to his vague explanations. How could this be happening?

A surge of emotions coursed through Penny's veins. Hurt, betrayal, and a fierce determination to protect herself all welled up within her. She had given her heart to Johnny, trusted him with her deepest fears and dreams, and now it seemed like it was all being tossed aside.

Penny's mind raced, desperately trying to make sense of the situation. Was it something she did? Did she not give enough? Was she not lovable enough? The self-doubt crept in, threatening to consume her. But in the midst of her pain, a fire ignited within her.

But Penny wouldn’t dare let it happen. She couldn’t let it happen. Penny was sick and tired of being the one brokenhearted.

Penny took a deep breath, the air filling her lungs as she prepared herself for what was to come. With determination etched on her face, she shot her eyes open, the fiery intensity in her hazel gaze evident. Rising from the couch with a surge of energy, she stood tall, her fists balled tightly at her sides.

The room suddenly felt charged with tension as Penny's emotions swirled within her. Anger and hurt mingled together, threatening to spill over. She couldn't let herself crumble in front of the blonde, couldn't let them see the pain that threatened to consume her. No, she had to be strong, to protect herself.

Penny locked eyes with determination, ready to defend herself against Johnny. She refused to let his actions diminish her worth or define her future.

“After everything I had to put up with because of you, you think you can just…!” Penny broke off her short rant with a huff, covering her angry eyes with a hand when her angry face quickly shifted to one filled with anguish. Penny quickly turned away.

“I loved you…” she quietly cried out, not quite sure where that weak, high pitch whine had suddenly come from. “You said you loved me…”

"I do love you," Johnny insisted, his voice filled with a mix of desperation and sincerity. He stood up from the sofa, stepping around Penny to face her once more. But Penny, consumed by her own shame and hurt, couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze. She turned her face away, unable to bear the weight of his words.

Her heart ached with conflicting emotions. Part of her wanted to believe Johnny, to hold onto the love they had shared. But another part of her questioned his motives, his sudden change of heart. How could he claim to love her while simultaneously pulling away?

Penny's silence hung in the air, a heavy void that enveloped the room. She struggled to find the right words to express her feelings, to confront the pain that had taken hold of her. The shame she felt for not being enough, for not being able to hold onto his love, consumed her.

What else could he do? Penny was in agony, her heart shattered into a million pieces. And in the midst of her pain, the only solace she could find was in the arms of the one she loved. But there she was, resenting every moment of it.

Johnny held onto her tightly, pulling her closer as if trying to mend the broken pieces within her. His touch was gentle, his fingers delicately stroking the unkempt strands of hair atop her head. With every caress, he whispered soothing words, hushing Penny's anguished sobs that threatened to disturb their slumbering neighbors.

Penny despised the vulnerability that enveloped her in this moment. She prided herself on her strength and independence, but now, she felt stripped bare. The weight of her pain pressed heavily against her chest, making it hard to breathe.

“Come on, baby girl. Shh. Why the hell would I dump you?” Johnny said quietly, earning a disgruntled huff from the upset raven. “Have you seen this lately?” he asked, motioning his hands to his scarred face. “You’re the only one that can stomach being around this shit.”

But Penny could only shake her head, her voice strained and shattered, unable to dispel Johnny's deceitful words. She couldn't trust her own voice, so she resorted to releasing weak, pitiful sobs that choked her throat, seeking solace in the safety of Wade's comforting embrace.

Her sobs subsided for a moment as she gathered her strength, her voice trembling as she managed to force out the words amidst her tearful gasps, "Y-you're not... leaving me?" She despised the whiny tone that escaped her lips, her voice cracking with vulnerability. The thought of begging for her boyfriend to stay felt like a blow to her pride, but she was willing to swallow her pride if it meant salvaging their relationship.

“No, I’m not. I’d never leave you. Please, baby girl. This is silly. I mean, deep down I was kinda hoping you’d cry, but in a happy, more ‘what took you so long, dumbass’ kind of cry...” Johnny chuckled in response.

Penny furrowed her brow, her frustration mounting at Johnny's insensitive behavior. She despised the fact that he found amusement in her suffering, his childish antics only serving to annoy her further. But despite his flaws, she couldn't deny the love she held for him. She wanted to be by his side, to fight for their relationship, even if it meant enduring the sharp pain in her heart and the turmoil in her stomach that Johnny was responsible for.