To the Man Who Made Me Live

Life is indeed full of surprises. Sometimes, while I am looking up the sky, I am thinking on how to be an angel in land, how to fly without wings, and how to be a princess without a prince. Mahilig akong mag-day dream. Mahilig akong mangarap ng mga bagay na imposible. Good to know, I am totally engaged for being so persistent. I am striving more and more without caring if what I'm doing really worth it. Wala akong pakialam kung mapagod man ako ng husto. Wala akong pakialam kung ano ang posibleng maging resulta at mas lalo akong walang pakialam kung mayroon itong patutunguhan o wala. Because dreaming isn't just about dreaming. You need to wake up, open your eyes and do everything you should be to make them worth to be dreamed. I used to believe in everything. I was born to be optimistic and it really helped me to survive and escape from solitude. I am not letting my dream slowly diminishing into emptiness though I know I can still save it. It will make my life tasteless if I am. No, I wouldn't be like that. I was born to achieve my every single wish. Until such time that... Unexpected thing happened. A thing that changed my perspective about myself. Dito ko napatunayan na hindi nga totoo... na lahat ng bagay na gusto mo ay makukuha mo. Hindi lahat ng pangarap mo ay magagawan mo ng paraan para matupad. Hindi. Hindi. Nagkamali ako. "Thanks for the coffee," I said to my personal maid as she placed down my favorite drink without breaking my attention to the book I am holding. The sky is gloomy, breeze from the multiple twigs of trees entering through the window send chills down my spine. I closed my eyes as I smell my favorite cappuccino, my nose enveloped by its perfect aroma. This is timely, indeed relevant to my already convulsive body. Muli ay nabaling ang aking paningin sa aking hawak-hawak. And as I gazed on it, it just brought me in the verge of crying. The book of the author with a username @YourInfinityCupid. It is almost as thick as our Webster's. The cover is in color maroon with the title limned in a promising way, the gradient of silky gold and dazzling silver. The outer appearance is perfect, it fits the content scribbled inside of it. It is like a balustrade in a dangerous but magnificent world of chaos. Sa pagbuklat ko ng libro, unang bumungad and nota ng may akda, naglalaman ito ng magulong pagkakakilanlan tungkol sa kanya, mga salitang hindi mawari, hindi mapagtanto kung ano ang ibig iparating. Honestly speaking, his gratitude is the only clear in here. He may be grazed the edge of his identity, but he is really good in making his words crumpled spirally so that readers will not be able to understand it. Still as mysterious as before. Inilipat ko ang pahina at pinasadahan ng tingin ang kanyang panimula. Hindi siya nagsulat ng prologo. At simple lang ang naging rason niya roon. "Para maiba." I again put my eyes back on it and traced the letters dancing in such ecstacy. Page to page. Slowly, intently, willingly. Day after day after day... I read his every chapter like it is my path in a maze. And if I don't follow it, I'll surely be lost. Until I reached the word 'epilogue'. With tears falling, I kept in my mind and heart his very last words until 'The End'. It is the success for the writers, but the sadness for the readers. I am a reader, and I don't want the story I love to end. But the truth, nothing is forever. Like how he disappeared. With a monotone voice, I read his last notes... in the last page of his published book. "This is my first published book, and unfortunately be my last. I am happy you became a part of my life. I appreciate all your efforts and love. You were there during my ecstasy and agony," I wiped my tears and sobbed painfully. "To my success and failures," I stopped to roll a tissue and sniffed all over again. Oh, my favorite author. Of course we'll always here. We'll always be. "Lastly, to my upswing and downfall," Why? Why do you need to hurt your readers like this?! You made us cry for thousand pail of tears and I don't even get why you need to. "Remember, you are not just my readers. You're my family. My comfort zone. The rafter of my survival. My other world. I may be drowned in abyss, or I may be reached the sky, you will never be forgotten. Your presence are not just evident in the number of my reads, votes, and followers, but every one of you drew different arts in my heart. You will always be right here." Walang humpay ang pamamalisbis ng aking mga luha mula sa'king mata habang binabasa ang kaniyang mga pamamaalam na salita. My sight became blurry but I managed to wipe my tears and continue reading. "I don't want to leave, my friends. I will never want it. But... I need to. I know you are mad, disappointed, and at the same time, sad. But as I have said in my book, accept the reality with open arms. Nothing lasts forever... So am I. Again, thank you. Thank you for everything. I will always be your Cupid. I love you guys, and I am now Signing off..." Pumikit ako pagkabasa sa kaniyang panghuling salita. Ang sakit. Napakasakit sa dib-dib na halos hindi na ako makahinga. Why? Why does he need to leave? Lahat na lang ba ng dumarating ay kinakailangan ding umalis? Kung oo, bakit? Bakit pa? Kung p'wede naman silang manatili? I don't get it, and I guess I will never get it. I smiled bitterly as I closed the book, my survival home. Maybe, I really need to let you go. No choice left anyway. It is all I have to do- to accept and embrace the fact that you need to leave and no assurance to come back. You're a Cupid, indeed. But you're not infinity. The username you chose to use suits you... but not really. I will just read over and over again your one and only legacy. The book of life it is. A published book and its on-going sequel that haven't published yet, having the same title and beauty. Book that I will never ever forget until my very last breath. A story entitled, "Behind The Written Pieces."