The Rogue Alpha King

Chapter seven - Bed of Shame

Alpha Creed’s Point Of View.

Her lips were so gentle on mine. It was like they were barely there. Her touch was sending unimaginable waves of pleasure through my whole body. A low grunt left my lips as I felt her hand moving up and down my member.

“Alvaro..”

her voice moaned out my name in nothing but a whisper which sounded so sexy I couldn’t help but pull her closer to me . “Alpha,” her voice sounded a bit off but I was enjoying being with her too much to care . “Alpha Alvaro!” The voice was so high I opened my eyes and snapped out of my trance.

My eyes glanced around the room in high alert just trying to figure out what the problem could be. Lo and behold my eyes landed on my beta looking over at me with an irritated look on her face. She did not even stand for a second longer as she went and opened the curtains in the room effectively blinding me with the sunlight. How could it be today already? What about last night?

Nothing seemed to make sense. I could barely comprehend the events of last night. My thoughts were jumbled up with a lot of missing gaps between what occurred between last night and today morning. I could feel my wolf stir within me. There were a lot of questions going through my head. I turned to my side to look at Jade but I was just welcomed by jumbled up sheets and my dirty clothes on an empty side of the bed. She was not there…no one was in the bed beside me.

“You really had me worried , you wouldn’t even open the door nor answer your mindlink. I almost thought you were not here or passed out . Why did you not come straight back to the pack? Are you ok you really don’t look normal and since when do you oversleep, that’s not at all like you,”

Felicia was rambling on and on about only she knows what as I got out of the bed and manically looked around the room.

“What the hell are you looking for? Are you even paying attention to me? Am sure Whatever it is you are looking for is not worth you tearing everything apart ,can you please just calm down,”

She was angry and I could tell. Felicia was not only my beta but more like family so I was used at her being angry at me. I couldn’t help but feel a bit offended at her saying that Jade was not worth it.

My hands laid on my head , tugging at the strands of my hair whilst my eyebrows rested on my knees. I had decided to take a seat back on the bed to maybe try to gather my thoughts together and come up with a plan of action or at least try and remember whatever it is that occurred in my room last night. She couldn’t have just disappeared into thin air and I couldn’t have imagined her presence. I looked around the room once more and there were absolutely no traces of her or anyone being there aside me and Felicia.

“Alpha is everything ok ? Do you need me to get a doctor or maybe get someone else for you ?”

Felicia was being kind and caring but at that exact moment hearing her voice just annoyed me more. All I wanted was to wake up next to my beautiful baby girl and not Felicia. No offense to my beta but her voice was nowhere nearly as sweet as how Jade's voice was. I tried to gather my thoughts first before saying anything to Felicia. I did not even know if I wanted anyone to find out about Jade and I.

I needed to make sure that I was not crazy and Jade had actually been in my room . I needed to know that I did not hallucinate the whole thing just to make sure I was still the same. The question constantly ran through my head and over again…was she real?

“There was a woman here… I was with her last night before I went to sleep. Did you happen to find her here or maybe passed her outside?,”

I made sure to calmly ask Felicia without letting any details slip out or seeming crazy. I was low key a bit embarrassed to even ask her such a thing. Everyone knew I had proposed to Gwen and was now engaged to be married to her. I was a lot of things but a cheater and bastard was not one of those things. As an alpha my word was to be respected and I had to stick to my word. Me admitting to having another woman and cheating on my betrothed was a new low even for me.

I might have been ashamed but I was nowhere near regretting last night . Jade was worth each and every moment thus I have absolutely no regrets. I noticed the flash of judgment that passed through Felicia’s eyes but it was gone the exact instance that it showed up. I looked at her expectedly as I awaited my answer but she did not seem to get the memo.

“Ohhh… ummm no Alpha I did not see any Woman in the nearby surroundings. I think it will be better if I just leave you to your thoughts for a few moments . Maybe freshen up a bit ,get dressed and take care of that situation,”

Felicia was beyond awkward and disinterested as she left the room without awaiting my response. I knew that she was disappointed in me for what I had done to Gwen even though she did not like her but there was nothing I could do about it anymore. I looked down at where she had previously looked at and pointed and understood what she meant by

“take care of that,”

The tight tent in my boxer’s made it obvious that I had a very , very hard on. I let out a frustrated grown at the thought of my little Jade doing that to me and Felicia having to point it out to me m, it was low key cringe. I could not even smell traces of Jade’s scent in the room; it was really as if she was never even here. My wolf remembered her and wanted her back too so I knew I was not crazy and Jade had really been in my room , in my bed ,on me ,under me and with me. A shower was probably not a bad idea at this point , preferably a very , very cold one.

Each and every moment I spent freshening up was a moment I spent thinking about her and musing over our night together. I could barely piece together what had happened after she laid her very plum lips on mine. The kiss was as far as my mind was willing to remember anything else was just a blur until I just blacked out. None of it made sense but I did notice me waking up in my boxer’s Instead of being naked like I should have been.

What the hell happened last night ? I even tried enquiring from my wolf but he too seemed to lack the information. I was soon ready to go but did I even want to go ? What about Jade would I ever see her again ? Why did she leave me without even a note…not even a number , does that mean that she does not want to be found ? A lot of things ran through my mind and honestly I don’t know why women have to be so complicated .

Women should really come with a manual of do’s and don’ts or maybe instructions on what I should do in certain scenarios. Did I maybe do something wrong and not remember? Did I offend her or maybe I struggled to not be the one in control just like she wanted me to? Sure it could not be any of those I was overthinking and really needed to snap out of it seeing as overthinking was not helping.

She was not even my mate so I am not even sure why I am even bothering myself so much with overthinking all this. It is not like I could change last night’s events and it is not worth me going over them again and again. Maybe her and I were just not meant to be. Then there was the dishonor I brought to myself and my word as alpha by not respecting my commitment to Gwen.

I honestly had no feelings for Gwen whatsoever and she knew that but that did not give me the right to misuse her trust and behave like a bastard. Even though my actions last night were wrong they felt so right and I could not deny that nor could I lie to myself for I knew that no matter what at the end of the day I would not change my actions last night even if I had the choice to…I have no regrets. I have to do better and regain my betas respect , yes I don’t owe her any explanation but she deserves the truth and her respect means a lot to me.

What about Gwen though? Should I tell her about Jade ? It’s not like I even actually slept with jade we obviously did not do anything worth writing home about even though my moments with her might as well be the best and the most memorable moments of my entire life. She made me feel alive again. She exited me and brought about a deep trill within me . She made my wolf calm and yet wild at the same time. She was indeed my undoing but I was not at all complaining.

I had considered looking for her… finding her and maybe claiming her as mine but alas I shall not be doing any of that. Jade obviously did not want to be found and she might as well have been a figment of my imagination. She did not want me thus I shall not pursue her . If she wanted to stay she would have bit she chose to leave. Most importantly I was already betrothed to another and I could not do Gwen like that. Many might say I'm heartless but I am not that cruel. I still understand others emotions as well as tell the difference between wrong and right.

I could not help but remember her touch and how she made me feel so human. Maybe in another world we would have been perfect for one another but not in this one. Love was not for me ,I do not deserve such a pure thing . Even the moon goddess cursed me to roam the earth alone with no mate through so many lifetimes.

Maybe Jade was it…what I could have had but can’t have. She’s just a cruel joke played on me by the moon goddess and the universe to give me a small taste of what having a mate could have been like ,of what I would feel if I wasn’t such a monster. Even on my first day on earth I killed my own mother. What woman would want me ,what would make me think I deserve something as pure and sacred as a mate bond. Maybe if I was not so evil Jade could have been my mate but no she wasn’t and that was all my fault. Maybe she saw how much of a monster I was and ran away.

She was too good for me and I knew it. She showed me what and who I could have been but deep down I knew I could not be that person for her…I was a monster undeserving of love. I could never and would never be so evil as to look for her and bring her into my life no matter how infatuated I was with her…am sure the feelings will slowly but surely fade away besides I could have just been drunk. I knew I wasn’t drunk , werewolves don’t get drunk and I spent the whole night nursing the same two glasses of whiskey but the excuse of me being “drunk” somehow brought me comfort.

She left me and took my humanity with her leaving the monster I had always been wild and angry with the universe for what it has denied me of.