Her Broken Rainbow

Perfect

“Baby, I’m dancing in the dark, with you between my arms 

Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song 

When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful 

I don’t deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight”

~Perfect

Ed Sheeran 

We watched movies and waited for their parents to return for dinner. We had steak, potatoes and corn on the cob, one of my favorite meals. It’s now 11:45 pm and everyone else but me is asleep. We’re all laid out on Ria’s California king bed, but as relaxing as it is, something is missing. I watch as the lights from passing cars dance on the ceiling. I’m tired, I can tell, but I can’t fall asleep. It’s possibly because of the comfortable cuddly sexy man in the other room. Not being able to sleep I slowly crawl out of bed, trying hard not to wake anyone up. I grabbed my blanket and trudged to the theater room where I knew the boys fell asleep watching movies. Sky was sleeping on the same blow up mattress we shared a few nights ago. Silently padding over to him I gently lift his blanket and lay down next to him. I throw my blanket over myself and a little over him and snuggle into his side. He turns over and wraps his arm around me, pulling me closer to him. “I couldn’t sleep, I was arguing with myself on whether or not to go looking for you.” He whispers into my hair. 

“I couldn’t sleep either, so I came to cuddle.” He chuckles quietly and snuggles closer, nuzzling my hair with his face. I take a breath in and relax to the scent of his body wash and a hint of rain. He feels so warm, I can’t help but want to be closer to him all the time. He has me slightly addicted and that’s kind of scary. With it being so close to Carson’s release date I wonder if this is going to give him ammunition against me. Part of me wants this, wants Skylar. The other part knows, it’s just putting him at risk of being hurt. If Carson found out about Sky, he would undoubtedly go after him in an attempt to isolate me from anyone who can save me. Maybe telling Skylar and the boys was the right thing to do but then again, what if it wasn’t. I lay there listening to the soft breaths coming from Sky. I can feel the rise and fall of his chest under my hands and cheek. I fit so perfectly against him, deep down I want to think this is right. I want to believe that this is fate and this is where I’m supposed to be. It’s so f*****g cliche right? I’m turning sappy and I don’t know how I feel about it. I’ve never been this girly, it’s weird. I slowly drift to sleep at the rhythmic beat of his heart. Yeah, this feels right. 

Morning comes all too quickly and at the moment we’re all scrambling to take showers and get ready to leave. Happy I packed early and only need to get ready for the day. I finish up my hair, pulling it into a tight hair tie with loose hair around the side of my face where bangs should be. I swipe on some minimal eyeliner and mascara. I was a little lazy so I’m dressed in a pair of black leggings and a loose fitted grey mickey mouse t-shirt. I slip my feet into my high ankle vans and head down stairs. Charlie already loaded the suitcases into one of the SUV’s in a fleet of many that Ria and Nick's parents use. We’re taking 3 to the airport and it makes me feel a little snooty. One for the bags and the other two for the eight of us. Nick, Justin, Zach and Skylar are already seated and eating breakfast. I take the chair to Sky’s left, grabbing my plate and loading pancakes with cherry sauce and boysenberry syrup. Weird combo but don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. I eat in silence with my eyes closed, the smell of coffee hits me making me look to find a delicious cup in front of my plate. “Thank you!” I squeal in an unladylike link manor, food still in my mouth half chewed. 

Chuckling Sky says, “You’re welcome, thought you’d need something to wash down the diabetes cakes you're wolfing down over there. It’s kind of hot.” He wiggles his eyebrows at me and I smile showing my teeth with a mouth full of pancakes causing him to laugh harder at me. We finish breakfast as the girls finally come down. Zoe, Ria and Shay grab a pancake and a travel cup of coffee and we all walk out and get into the trucks. 

We’re sitting 4 to a truck with Zoe, Shay, Ria and I in one and the boys together in the other. “So little miss slut slut, where did you sneak off too last night?” Zoe points an accusing finger at me. I smack her hand and reply, “Shut up! If you must know, you snore like an ox and I needed some reprieve away from goldilocks and the 2 bears.” I try to steer the question away from me.

“You are such a liar! b***h, I followed you last night and watched you creep into the theater room where I know the boys fell asleep.” Shay smacked my face and pushed me away from her. I shoved her back, “You did not!” I hope so. 

“Oh but I did darlin’ and guess what happened next… to my surprise, a little miss hoe bag over here jumped into bed with the hot sexy Mr. Skylar.” Shay announced to Ria and Zoe. 

“Wow! You dirty girl!” Ria said from the third row seats. Zoe sat next to her laughing at my expense. 

“f**k you both, I didn’t go down to get a night cap, I couldn’t sleep.” I said, arms crossed over my chest and glared at them. 

“Yeah right, then what did you go down for?” Ria asked 

“Ugh! Alright he’s like the plague and I’m some unvaccinated youth dying to be infected.” I groaned and leaned back into my seat. 

“Woah… does this mean you're like… in love?” Zoe asked in awe of my declaration. 

“Well, I mean it means I’m interested, I don’t feel love, just infatuation.” I replied. 

“Girl, you’re falling and you don’t even see it.” Ria says. 

“Puhlease! You’re all being dramatic. It’s not love. Hell it hasn’t even been more than a week, it’s definitely not love. Maybe high amounts of lust. This is just my loins telling me I'm ready.” I say, a little taken aback myself at how easily I admit that I’m ready for the next step. s*x is a big thing to agree to, it should never be taken lightly. We continue with light conversation until we reach the airport. Once the truck pulls to a stop in front of the drop off zone we get out and begin loading our luggage onto a cart to take to the check in counter. We get checked in and make our way through the hour-long security wait. It’s always a pain going through security at our airport. Bit of advice, always leave 2 hours before your flight to be able to make it through and not miss your flight. With time before take off, we get some coffee in the food court and wait for the doors and boarding to begin. It’s so early and none of us want to converse let alone be awake. 

It takes some time but we’re finally able to board and get comfortable in our spots for the flight. Or at least as comfortable as you can in coach sitting closer than any strangers should. I have an aisle seat just in case I need to get up, I hate being crowded and I hate looking out the window so might as well stick to the aisle. Regardless of how many times my elbow is going to get clocked by the snotty ass flight attendants and their carts of overpriced snacks and drinks. Sky is in the middle and Zach is at the window next to him, across the walkway from me is Zoey, Alaria and Shay. In Front of me are Nick and Justin. 

The flight is short, with a quick nap and a massive amount of coffee later, we disembark the plane and head to baggage claim. My phone shows 1 pm as I turn off airplane mode and the notifications ring in. I have several from my mom asking me to call her as soon as I land. There are a few from my sister and a few missed calls as well. I dial my mom and walk out of earshot of the gang. 

“Raenn, thank God, did you guys land ok? Are you alright? Did you hear the news?” She fires off at a rapid speed almost without breath. 

“Woah, yeah we just landed. I’m fine, what’s wrong mom?” I reply back, a little fear creeping up my back. 

“Now princess, I need you to sit before I tell you this. Are you sitting?” I hate when people say that. Just say what you want to say cheesus. “Yes mom I’m sitting,” Liar. “What happened?” I urge her to continue. 

“OK, stay calm. I got a call from Ron early this morning. Rae… Carson’s release date was moved up. Something about needing beds and since it was only 3 months away they released him. He will be officially out this afternoon.” She says, panic laced in her words. 

My world dropped. My heart fell out my ass and landed with a thud on the ground for all to see. This was a f*****g disaster. He would be out any minute. He will be waiting when I get home. My freedom has been cut short, one week I would return and he would be there waiting to pick me off like a vulture waits for its prey to die before it swoops in and picks at the carcass. Everything stopped. Sound, time, my life. I was falling into a pit of despair without a lifeline and I felt like I was drowning. I could hear my mother’s voice come through the receiver but I couldn’t make out the words. I felt hands grab me as the floor seemed to be rushing closer to my face. This was it. Life as I knew it was over. He’s free and I’m his main target. I couldn’t breathe, everything turned black and the last thought I had was Skylar, he doesn’t stand a chance. I can’t let Carson hurt him. I wouldn’t let anything happen to the man I’m falling in love with. 

Love. What even is love? Who decided that the feelings you get when you truly feel for another is love? That feeling when you don’t want someone to leave your side for even a second for fear of missing out on sharing even the smallest minute memory. The moment when you feel like you’ve found your soul’s counterpart in another. When you can’t imagine going home every day and not having this person there waiting so you can tell them every detail of every day. Someone to share your future with and celebrate your accomplishments with. It’s believed that everyone out there has someone specifically coded to match them in every way possible yet could be completely opposite in those same ways. Someone perfectly fated to be with them. The beat of their heart defines each second of our lives, hoping that time is on your side and you can grow old and live happy lives together. Love is not something to be taken lightly. Some people go their whole lives never knowing this feeling, while others fall in love more than they change socks. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want him. Now, after everything, if anything ever happens to him. I don’t know what I’d do. I will protect him with my last breath if I have to. Carson won't get away with this. He won't get me. 

I am woman, hear me roar.