Her Broken Rainbow

From the Ashes

“I have nothing to fear

I have nothing to say 

You have nothing to take this from me 

Years of screaming in pain 

Years of anger and rage

I will not be your slave.” 

~From the Ashes 

In This Moment

All together they picked out 2 sets each. Zoe bought the black and green 2 piece sets I asked for, Shay bought a couple of red silk chemises and Alaria bought me the black see through teddy and pale pink baby doll. They said this is their gift to me for ditching my virginity. Just to make this clear, they are the only ones who have decided on this actually happening. I have not said whether I would actually want to do it. This is the kind of friends you need in your life. Someone who won't let you stop yourself from achieving your biggest goals. Now I know we’re just talking about virginity like it’s some big accomplishment to lose it. It’s a bit taboo to think of something so intimate in such a derogatory way, but I think this is something to be treated with such passion. It is a big thing to give yourself completely over to another in such a special and personal way. This is why I held onto my innocence for even this long. Granted I know I’m still only 19 but I pride myself on the fact that I wasn’t slutty or impure throughout high school. I am nearly 20 years old and at least old enough to make these types of decisions on my own. This is the type of situation where you have to have a complete understanding of what you're giving up. If and when I do decide on giving myself over to someone, it will be on my terms and mine alone. My best friends understand this and they wholeheartedly respect my choice to wait. If while on vacation it happens then fine, I’m not holding out until marriage, I’m just not going to hand it over to any regular Joe Shmoe. With them respecting my choice, I also understand that them buying me lingerie isn’t them pushing me into something I’m not ready for, it’s my friends helping me to feel comfortable if it happens. These are the kind of friends everyone needs. They’re like the french bread and meatballs to my spaghetti dish. Not one of us is the same yet we fit together like a puzzle. My life wouldn’t be complete without these lovely ladies. 

We did a little more shopping and left the mall to head back to Alaria’s house and meet up with the boys. It’s just after 3 pm. We spent most of the afternoon shopping, so now we were headed back to pack all of the new outfits we bought into our suitcases to take with us. We pull up to the house and unload bags from Alaria’s car and head into the house. Going straight to Alaria’s room carrying bags with Charlie, their butler, helping carry mine and Shay’s luggage. Zoe had already dropped her own off before we met for breakfast. We all sit around our luggage and go through our purchases. 

“Look at these bikini’s I bought.” Zoe holds up a Maui blush and black lace bikini set and another but in powder blue and black lace. They are totally cute but even after getting in a healthier state I just can’t find the courage to wear a small two piece like that. I like my tank and boy short type bathing suits. 

“I got a green set like that, we should go back and get Shay and Rae each a set so we can match.” I immediately protested at Alaria’s comment. 

“Yeah, how about we don’t. I have a bathing suit that looks just fine.” I fold all of the new shirts I bought along with a few pairs of dark blue hip huger skinny jeans. Alaria throws a pink Victoria's Secret bag at me.

“Don’t forget to pack these…. And these.” A box of condoms lands on my lap and I shriek like a preteen who saw a spider. 

“What are these for?” I throw them to Zoe who throws them back at me. 

“Oh, I think it’s time for the birds and the bees, talk.” Shay says. 

“f**k off, I know what they are and what they’re for, what I mean is why are you giving them to me?” I roll my eyes. 

“Because we don’t want you making any little storms now do we?” Zoe responds in a duh tone. 

“Oh my cheesus guys, I just figured something out.” Alaria says excitedly. We all look at her expectantly. “If SKY and RAENN have kids together they’ll be little storm clouds and snow!” 

What the f**k. Alright so I admit it may have crossed my mind and I may have had an urge to doodle his name and mine in a notebook or thought of ways we could theme our kids names. But I wouldn’t admit it to anyone out loud. 

“Cloud Knight for a boy!” Shay throws out. 

“Sol Shyne for a girl named after her Aunty.” Zoe Offers. I roll my eyes at them and throw the box of condoms into my bag. “No one is having little hippy kids any time soon so you can stop planning my family life here ladies. Besides, who said I’m going that far with him anyway?”

“Rae, I was a virgin once too remember? I know the signs of a girl being ready when I see it.”  Alaria says. 

“And if you're not, then you're not. You don’t have to show him anything or even tell him you have them. If you decide against it, just leave everything in your bag. We’re just preparing you if you decide to throw caution to the wind and ride the bull.” Shay tries to reassure me. 

“Fine, I’ll take them with me but that isn’t me saying I’m planning it or anything…..” I say pointing a finger at each of them. The front door opens and slams shut before the sound of heavy footsteps can be heard coming up the stairs. I slam my suitcase closed right as Nick strolls into the room and flops onto Ria’s bed. 

“You guys comparing outfits for the trip?” Nick asks as he eyes the Victoria's Secret bag next to Zoe. Something flashes in his eyes as he meets her gaze. I watch as a slight blush creeps across her cheeks. I look at Shay and Ria to see if they noticed anything but it doesn’t appear they have. I clear my throat and Nick’s eyes shoot to mine before he quickly looks away. I smirk and look at Zoe. Guess I’m not the only one possibly getting some this week. I’ve known Zoe and Nick had the hots for each other. Last year I caught Nick giving Zoe a birthday kiss in the kitchen with no one else around. It looked like it was going to lead to birthday s*x if I hadn’t walked in when I did. I’ve always known Zoe had a thing for Nick, but wouldn’t admit it since he’s Ria’s brother. Shay has been open about her crush on Zach and us girls are the only ones who know of Justin and Alaria dating. Justin, being friends with Nick, didn’t want Nick beating the s**t out of him because he was dating Nick’s little sister. Maybe this will help set the mood for the couples to finally get together. Maybe I can play cupid and turn it around on them…. Cue evil smirk and rubbing hands together sinisterly. 

We finish packing our new clothes into the suitcases and head downstairs to make a late lunch. Zach and Justin come sweeping in as I put the bacon in the oven for our BLT sandwiches. 

“I’m so excited to get out of here and ride some roller coasters! Universal studios is going to be f*****g awesome.” Zach says excitedly sitting at the island. 

“Are you gonna cry again like you did in Cali?” Skylar saunters into the kitchen, his eyes instantly finding mine, a mile stretching across his face, lighting up his features. I was once again struck with the thought of how beautiful this man is. He has the deepest blue eyes behind thick lashes. His face is sharp and symmetrical. The angle of his chin, the fullness of his lips. His raven black hair. It’s grown out some since his last haircut you can tell and the way it falls across his forehead makes me swoon, or the look of him brushing it back out of his face is like one of those slow moments in a romance movie where everything slows down and the inner monologue of the main female character describes her crush and his ravishingly good looks. I have the urge to run my hand through his hair, feeling how soft and silky it is. He greets the guys in manly bro fashion and walks around to where I’m standing by the stove. I feel his hand come to rest on the left side of my stomach and feel him lean in his chest brushing against my back. “Hey baby girl, did you have a good day?” His voice low as his breath tickles my ear. I feel his hand squeeze gently and my n*****s harden. His voice does things to me I never thought were possible and so easily at that. 

“It was great, the girls and I went shopping for some new clothes for the trip. We got manis and pedis done. We had a good day. Are you ready for the trip?” I ask him. I wonder, if it wasn’t for meeting the way we did downtown, would I have this kind of attraction to Sky as I do now? He’s Nick's best friend and though I’ve seen Nick with his friends before I never truly paid attention. Not like the girls did anyway. I was never really into stuff like boys and being cute for someone. I just wanted to be a normal teen with friends doing what teens should be doing living their adolescent life. I wonder if we would have hit it off during the trip, if I’d have even paid attention to him for there to be a spark of something. This attraction I feel between us makes me think there could have been but then again who knows. Sky moves past me and leans against the counter. 

“Yeah I have my bags set by the front door along with the rest of the guys.” He says before turning to Nick and asking, “Speaking of the trip, how is tomorrow going to go?” 

“Well, we’re going to load up and be out of here by 6 am. Our flight leaves at 9 so we should be there by around 12 or so. Then we’ll take a shuttle to the resort. Since we’re staying at the Universal resort, there’s a shuttle to take us to the theme park and we can get a share ride when needed to go around for anything outside of Universal Studios. I figure since we can’t really go out clubbing or anything, we wouldn’t need to worry about transportation outside of the resort much. Alaria has the itinerary of the different things we’re going to do. We’re planning a day to go to discovery cove, that’s going to be fun. The first night I booked us a reservation at the Big Fire restaurant. Then Sunday is going to be a toss up on what we do, maybe lounge by the pool or something. Monday we go to the first park for Universal.” Nick laid out the game plan for the first couple of days on the trip. 

‘Alright, and your parents should be home in a few hours right? So we’re having dinner here with them and then Charlie is going to drive us in the morning?” Zach asks, to which Nick just nods. I finish cooking the  bacon and put everything on the Island so everyone can make their own sandwiches. We ate lunch out on the deck by the pool and talked about what we were most excited about on the trip and what we would like to see first. Sky is sitting to my right talking to Zach and Nick about the upcoming superbowl game. It’s on the seventh of next month, with the Chiefs and the Buccaneers in Tampa Bay. I can feel Sky’s hand laying gently on my right thigh, his thumb playing small circles causing a delicious little stir down to my lady bits. I’m sitting with both elbows on the table and my head resting on my hands. Ria has been talking about us going to an 18+ club at some point during our trip and honestly I’m not really paying attention to anything else aside from the juicy piece of man next to me. I am like, putty in his hands, clay ready to be modeled into whatever naughty and dirty position he wants. I feel his hand slowly slide up towards my hip before his long fingers gently squeeze it. That snaps me out of my day dreaming and I blink, looking over at him. He has this look of amusement but he isn’t looking at me, though I know his attention is completely pointed at me. I nudge him slightly with one elbow and turn back to the girls as they talk about something I have no idea or care to know. I’m ready for a new activity and it only requires 2 players. I’m sure Sky would love to play with me. I decide if he wants to tease me, I can do the same. So I casually sit back in my seat and reach over under the table towards his lap. Slowly and only applying minimal pressure, I run my fingers along his thigh from just past his knee all the way to the crotch of his jeans. I draw my hand back down a few inches and gently apply pressure, running my hand a few inches back up towards his groin again. I can feel him tense, his hand stopped the minute mine made contact. Before I could remove my hand I felt him lean in, his breath a whisper against my ear as he said. “Now baby girl, if you don’t stop teasing me I’m going to have to bend you over my knee and punish you.” Holy f**k batman my panties are ruined and my p***y clenched at the thought of me bent over his knee, short skirt and tank top, skirt pulled up and his hand running across my bare ass cheek before…. “Rae, they may not have heard that sound you just made but I did, and I have a sudden urge to make you repeat it but a lot louder.” His voice turned deep and husky and my face flamed red, if only he knew why I moaned… he wouldn’t have hesitated. In an effort to clear my head I turned to the girls only to find no one paying attention to me or sky anyway, thank God. I daze in and out of my own fantasies for the remainder of the conversation.