Torn Between Two

Toss, turn. Toss, turn. Toss, turn. That was my grand night prior to my first day at my new school. To say I am a nervous wreck would be the understatement of the year. I will be the new kid at the local North Carolina JHS which I cannot express runs chills up and down my spine. Being the new kid anywhere is terrifying because you are the sole person to catch everyones eye. Let's just say it as it is. Kids can be assholes. You know, I know it. Kids assess everything about you when you step into their territory which they have been the rulers of for years and years. They take into account whether you have confidence or not, what kind of clothes you wear whether it be thrifty or designer brand, your all together style and so much more. Also, this is no ordinary JHS. This school has run from Kindergarten so everyone has basically grown up with one another. Then in comes me. The fresh meat. The newbie. I gulp down my fears and rise out of my bed unwilling to close my eyes any more at this point. I had been going to private school up until last year so walking into a public school setting is another drastic hit to my already fragile self. I am not prepared for anything that comes with being the new freak show of the school year, but the good thing to come out of this is that I don't need to don a uniform anymore. I can dress in my comfortable clothes and not worry about pervs trying to lift my skirt while walking down the hallways. Yes, that has unfortunately happened to me during my last year at my private school. Apparently boys begin to think that their s**t don't stink when puberty suddenly strikes so anywhere they could provide themselves with a free show they took it upon themselves to act like disgusting assholes. I cringe at the memory but there was a silver lining that came out of it. The boy who decided to make me his target of the day ran away with a b****y nose. He dealt his hand so he had to pay the consequences right? I may be quiet and always to myself but I do know how to issue a pretty good right hook. "Hannah?" A soft voice says along with a knock on my door before it opens up and my mom comes in. We are basically the spitting image of each other and the same height currently. I feel as if I will probably get taller with time. The growth spurt months are upon me. "I'm up." I say to her with little to no emotion. "You will be okay sweetie. I know this isn't what you wanted or needed at this point but we needed to get away. That life wasn't something I wanted you to deal with any longer. Children of divorce is hard enough. I didn't need you witnessing everything else that comes along with it. I knew it was too good to be true me and your father. I'm sorry..." she says with tears in her eyes before I grab her and pull her into a hug. "You have nothing to apologize for mom. You tried for both me and you for years. He was and is an arrogant bastard that doesn't deserve your kindness or your heart and I am glad that you saw through his bullshit and left. We deserve better than to be his scraps when he decided to come back to us after his slutty client kicked him the the curb. Let him see how it is not to have a family by his side." I say into her chest and I can feel her tears fall on top of my head. "Thank you Hannah, my sweet sweet girl. Thank you for being my rock through all of this. I should be comforting you, not the other way around and I am so ashamed." She says before placing a kiss on top of my head. "Stop mom. Please. We both were conned by him and I am not going to have you deal with the heartache and aftermath alone. We both need to lean on each other through this. I have you and you have me no matter what okay?" I say pulling out of her embrace and giving her a smile. "You are way too wise for your age." She says before turning and walking out of my room so I could begin getting ready for school. I walk towards my closet and just stare at my clothes. I really don't want to do this. As I stare at my clothes, I begin to think about the days of my past and how I always believed we were the picture perfect family. We had it all. I had it all. Least I thought I did. I had my mom, my dad, and anything I could ever want. I wanted for nothing and was the ultimate princess to my dad. I was the apple of his eye and I loved him to the moon and back. As the years went on, the facade began to wither away leaving me to see the truth. Dad was gone more and mom was beginning to wither away in her misery of being alone. She began to blame herself for dad not wanting to be around and her self worth began to decline. I couldn't take it any more so I took it upon myself to follow him to work one day and came to find out that when he was in his office, he was in the throws of passion with a client. How do I know you might ask? Dad failed to lock the door when I came barging in on them. At first I stood there in shock while they both fixed themselves. Then, all hell broke loose. Every curse word I had known flew out of my mouth when I saw what was going on right before my eyes. I don't even think I cried. I was in definite shock. I refused to believe any of the crap coming out of his mouth and I guess with the way I was looking at him he began to realize just how badly he messed up. He was no longer my superhero. I was no longer going to believe I was his little girl. He hurt me. He hurt my mom. He was absolutely nothing to me. I ran home and unleashed all my hate and anger out onto my room where mom came running to see what the hell was going on. I didn't want to shatter her picture perfect life. I couldn't. I didn't usher a word until dad came storming in thinking I had and when the words flew out of his mouth, he signed his own death wish. Mom flew into a rage, much like I did, and did everything as I had done and demanded a divorce and hence why I am here today. Dad gave us everything she was entitled to without hesitation. He knew he screwed up and now he has to deal with the consequences of his first love and daughter living lives without him. I let out a sigh and continue to get ready. By the time I have figured out the perfect outfit, I head downstairs and out the door. I am dressed super comfortably in tight jeans, shirt and my coziest hoodie. I shove my headphones on my ears, blast my music, and slowly make my way to the new school that I am dreading to enter. Arriving at my demise, I look around and see everyone laughing with one another. I hesitantly make my way up the stairs well aware that eyes are on me burning holes around my body. I quickly glance at the paper I am holding which gives me my locker number and my schedule for the year. I look at the locker numbers and deduce that I am thankfully heading in the right direction. I come to a stop when I reach my locker and open it with the given code and begin to stuff everything I have except for the 5 star notebook and a pen. The first bell rings and I make my way to the first class of the day. I walk inside and find a seat directly in the middle of the room. I like the middle. I am not stating that I am a teachers pet by sitting in the front, and if I sit in the back then they'll think that I am one who doesn't give a damn. I do give a damn. I want this year to come and go so I can move on to high school and then college. I have no time for drama and bullshit. The room slowly fills and everybody turns to glance at the new girl. Of course. They eye me like I am the ultimate threat to their little hierarchy. Believe me when I say that this whole show is nothing compared to the social status at a private school. The boys are more arrogant and the girls more deadly. It is elite standing in a private school. If you aren't filthy spoiled rotten rich, then you are at the bottom of the food chain. This is nothing that I can't handle. I don't need to be in the top. I need to be left alone. As my days drags on, every class I step into, I am the odd man out. I am the leech, the disease that has entered their hallways and will spread my contagion to all that come in contact with me. I guess nobody in this world knows how to be a damn decent human being nowadays. I make my way into the cafeteria and bypass the line to food. I am definitely not hungry and would rather sit in solitude without everyone's eyes on me eating. As I make my way to an empty table, I am shoulder bashed by some kid that literally popped out of nowhere. It's like some Houdini level s**t. "Well well. If it isn't the new meat. Not bad looking. That's a plus I suppose however, you don't look like someone that belongs here. Try and not cross any of us and I'm sure you'll survive sweet cheeks." His gruff voice says before slapping my book out of my hands having it fall to the floor and the class papers that were handed out scatter everywhere. Just my f*****g luck. The Devil incarnate just laughs and saunters away like he's the big s**t of the school with his little crew while I am left picking up the remnants of my schoolwork. "He's just being a d**k. Don't let him get to you." Says someone with such an endearing voice that it makes goosebumps rise on my skin. Thankfully I am wearing my hoodie still so he doesn't notice the effect he has on me. I look up to see him already helping to gather up my papers. "s**t, sorry. This one couldn't be saved." He says while handing me the paper with the Social Studies homework questions written on it, covered in liquid. "Um, that's okay." I say softly and give him a slight smile. "Thank you for helping me. You didn't have to." I say and he rolls his eyes which makes me giggle. He continues to smile and it is then that I get a really good look at him. He is like the younger version of Leonardo DiCaprio when he played in Titanic, or better yet, Romeo and Juliet. He has got the dreamy eyes, the blonde hair, and the sweet boyish face. My heart skips a beat and I begin to spiral until his voice grips onto me and brings me back to the surface. "I'm Justin. You must be Hannah, right?" He says while handing me back the rest of my papers. "How'd you?" I say until he laughs which makes my heart flutter again. "Luckily for you we have the same SS teacher, so I am more than happy to give you my questions for you to copy and whenever you are done you can just find me and give them back." I go to say something but the group that f****d with me before calls his name from across the room and he holds a finger up for them to wait. "Here. Come by my locker later after our final class. I'm locked 1020." He says to me before walking off and meeting up with the devils crew. I issue a soft thank you that is directed toward nobody now and sit down at the table and begin to write out the questions. "You must be Justin's next charity case." Says a screechy voice from right beside me. "He does this anytime a new kid walks into the school. He did it with Jessica Myers last year. God she still walks around looking at him like he has hung the moon. It's pathetic really. I am just coming to warn you that that is all you are to him. Don't get attached. He will never be with a girl like you, when he can and will be with someone like me." The snotty brunette says to me while bending down with her manicured fingers resting on my notes. I look up at her and see that she is the spitting image of a Barbie doll. Perfect plastic girl. I slide my notes out from under her nails and stuff them back into my notebook. I go to stand up so I can look her directly in her eyes so I can belt out everything I want to say to her fake Prada holding a*s, but before I can, the bell rings and everyone starts moving out. "See you later charity case." She snickers before stepping past me and leaving the lunchroom. I throw my head back and wish for the ability to stomp out all the bullies of this school and world with a snap of my fingers. Like I said, I don't need the drama. The end of the day approaches fast and I begin to make my way to Justins locker only to have the devils crew idling by it probably waiting for him to make an appearance. "Well damn sweet cheeks. I didn't think you wanted anything to do with me after our little confrontation in the lunchroom. I know I'm a catch but you just aren't my type." He says in that damn nauseating voice and I roll my eyes. "Not here for you s**t for brains. Waiting to return this to Justin." I wave the notes in his face and his jaw ticks. Guess he didn't realize that I actually have a mouth that can talk back to him with. "Just another s**t wanting her chance to be with one of us then." He says with fury in his eyes. He cracks a stupid jerking grin while his friends throw in their two cents with the "oh s**t" and I once again roll my eyes. Needing to be out of there before I find myself in a yelling match with this pompous arrogant jerk, I spit out the gum in my mouth, smack it onto the back of the paper, and slam it onto Justins locker. That surely silences them with that move. I turn to walk away only for the moron to grab my wrist. "Where do you think you're going sweet cheeks? You have something to give Justin so I suggest you give it to him respectfully and not like that. When you are here in our world, you do things with grace, because like it or not, you are just a nobody who needs to know their place." He says while taking the paper off from Justins locker and shoving it back at me. Fine. You want grace? I'll show you grace. I turn to walk away but he grips my wrist again which in return I feel my blood boiling and before I know it, I am swinging my right fist and connecting it with his pretty boy face. "Lay a hand on me again and a broken nose will be the least of your problems. You think you're big and bad cause your balls just dropped recently? I might me a nobody but you are nothing but a piece of s**t. Learn to respect women asshole. I'm sure your mom must have taught you manners at some point." I spit at him with immense rage and then look at his friends standing with their jaws dropped. I walk away and out of the school only to see Justin making his way towards me. "I'm going to get you, you b***h!" The maniacal asshole who is now sporting what looks to be a broken nose yells out behind me with his crew in tow. I should be scared, worried, fearful for my life but none of that registers when I see Justin there. Justins expression is filled with shock and confusion while he grabs me and pulls me behind him. "Out of my way bro. That thing needs to be taught a lesson!" Whatever his name bellows out while clutching his blood dripping nose. "Like f**k will I get out of the way. What did you do this time to a girl to warrant her wrath? Take it down a peg or two like I have told you multiple f*****g times before and we wouldn't be in this situation again, bro." He says with such dominance. I can feel both their rage rolling off them in waves. Again? Well f**k me. "Go to the nurse and get your nose checked out and then try and calm yourself down. I'll be there in a minute." Justin says and s**t for brains goes to say something but stops himself. I watch the merry band of assholes leave to bring their buddy to the nurse and wonder how these two can even be related. They are so vastly different from one another. Justin like I said is the spitting image of a younger version of Leonardo DiCaprio, while his brother is like Hardin in the After movies. Yes, I have read the books and watched the movies and I am a big sap for Anna Todd and the love between Tessa and Hardin. Whatever comes there way they always find a way back to each other. I come back into the moment when Justin turns around running his fingers through his hair and holding onto the back of his neck looking at me trying to figure out what to say. "I don't know what my brother did to you but if it warranted him to get a punch to the face then I don't blame you. Most likely deserved it. I keep telling him to stop his s**t but he thinks he's gods gift to the world apparently." He says and I just stand there speechless. I once again snap out of my paralyzed state and shove the SS paper to him and turn to walk away "Hey, hold up! Where are you going?" He yells behind me and I stop dead in my tracks, making him stop short as well. "Look I already know the rules of surviving being the new girl in school okay? There are maniacal assholes like exhibit A up there who is so graciously staring daggers at me while we speak out here.." I say throwing my arm up in the direction of where the nurses office probably is seeing the douche just looking out the window at us. I throw him the middle finger just out of spite, and because I can. Justin looks quickly, sighs, and then looks back to me. "And then there are the Barbie dolls of the school making it known that their very own Prince Charming is off limits. I don't need to be your charity case of the year like Jessica Myers was last year. I know how to handle myself as you can so plainly see." I say before walking off once again but that doesn't seem to work for him. "What the hell do you mean by my charity case of the year?" He says while keeping up with me. "That's what Barbie doll number one said to me after you gave me your SS notes to copy. I don't need the drama from her or your crazy as s**t brother. I want this year to go fast so I can get into HS and then the college I want. Thanks for lending me your notes but from here on out, we shouldn't even talk with one another if I am just going to get the s**t end of the stick." I say meaning every single word, even though something about him makes everything feel different. "I'm sorry, for everything, truly, but I in no way see you as a charity case. Believe it or not but some of us actually do have a conscience and are willing to reach out and lend a helping hand to those they think are..." He says before he stops himself before completing the sentence. I just stare at him not knowing what the hell to say. I walked into this school this morning being judged and hating every minute of it and it is the exact same thing I am doing to him right now. I'm such a hypocrite. "f**k. Um, I guess it's safe to say that I misjudged you. Look, I'm sorry for that but I'm not sorry for clocking your brother. He most definitely deserved that." He begins to laugh and his eyes roam to someone behind me. "s**t. Let me diffuse the ticking time bomb that is my brother. Stay here." He walks past me and straight for him. His brother pins me with the ultimate death glare but I am not the least bit affected by him. Serves him right after the s**t he spew at me. They begin to walk towards me and I just remain there quietly chastising myself for letting my anger get the better of me but f**k it. Shithead deserved it. "Hannah, this here is my brother Cole. Cole, I believe you have something to say to Hannah?" He nudges his brother who rolls his eyes but winces. Guess his nose isn't broken. "Whatever man. She punches me and I have to apologize? Not f*****g happening." He spits and Justin smacks him upside the head and I try to contain the giggle that wants to escape from my mouth. Cole can see the glimmer of mischief in my eyes and slowly chuckles to himself while rubbing the back of his head. It is at this moment that we come to an understanding and his walls of being a complete moron come crashing down. "Really bro? She punches me and you smack me? Both are you are f*****g deadly. For s**t sakes. Sorry for the things I said to you Hannah, and also for grabbing you like that." He says sheepishly, meanwhile Justin spins his head so fast pinning his brother with nothing but rage. "You grabbed her Cole?" He says in a menacing tone which shouldn't make me feel anything but scared. I decide to lighten the mood not wanting any more showdowns to happen and place my hands on both of their arms mid death stare. "What's done is done. Let's just start fresh okay?" I give them a slight smile all the while fist bumping the air in my mind seeing that I just stopped a potential WW3 outbreak. "At least you know not to mess with me anymore Cole, I mean unless you want another a*s kicking." I shrug and smile while the brothers begin to laugh their asses off. "Nah, I'm good sweet cheeks. I need a rep to maintain. Can't have you kicking my a*s all the time." Cole says with a smirk plastered on his face. "Are we really sticking to you calling me sweet cheeks?" I say and his smirk turns into a grin. "You bet, sweet cheeks." He says and Justin just pushes him. "Enough Cole. We have to get home before mom hangs us by our balls." Justin says and we all head our way home with them demanding that they walk me all the way to my house first and there is a definite shift in our budding friendship. "See you tomorrow Hannah." Justin says. "See you tomorrow sweet cheeks." Cole says which warrants Justin to punch his arm. Cole rubs his arm and I laugh. They both watch me go into my building and I give them a small wave before closing the door and I lean against it not knowing what the hell just happened. This day has totally given me insane whiplash. I take a quick peak out of the lobby window and notice that they are still standing there. Weird. Welcome to my new life. What more can be thrown my way?