Remember to Forget

Chapter 24

XAVIER

I felt like time stood still.

Bella left without a word.

She took the money and didn't leave a single trace of her ever being here.

I had only ever known the warmth of two women, other tan my mother and now both had abandoned me.

I lived each day exactly the same.

My life had become completely empty.

My father returned to his normal self, and would invite me on weekends for dinner.

We would have dinner in silence and than I would return home.

We didn't dare to speak about things that had happened.

It had become our biggest taboo.

Almost a year after Jia Xia left had would still have night mares about her.

I always found her with someone else and she was happily raising two boys.

I would wake up angry and confused.

I asked many elders and they always said the same.

I was living in regret over what I could have had.

I remember once seeing someone who looked exactly like her when I was on a business trip in Z city.

The mere fact that I thought she would be 3000 miles away drove me crazy.

I tried finding her in the crowd i jad seen her but finally she was nowhere to be found.

I realized it was all just my wishful thinking.

2 years passed

I started recovering from everything that had happened and I unfortunately became the exact opposite of who I used to be.

I had women around me every day.

Married, single, engaged...

I didn't care as long as they wanted me, no strings attached, I was going to enjoy their company.

One girl in particular drove me crazy.

I met her while meeting clients in the Maldives.

She was from Z city.

Ling Zhen.

She was a very beautiful woman.

Her body was perfect and her smile was something different.

Her eyes held the stars in them, and she was great in bed, very adventurous.

After my return I had spent many nights with her and the s*x was amazing.

She knew exactly what she was doing.

We became more like friends than lovers.

Yes we would most of the time end up having hours of steamy s*x, but we also spent hours taking sometimes.

She never asked for more.

We just kept each other company.

After meeting up for over a year, she got transferred to

A city.

We got a lot closer because she was working with our company on a 6 year contract.

Soon she was staying over at my place and her things sometimes stayed behind.

Months turned into years.

Today was no different from others.

I had a meeting in Shanghai and Ling would be accompanying me.

We drove past a places I remembered.

The night market was one of the many places I had looked for Jia Xia 6 years earlier.

I wonder how she was doing.

I often thought of her.

When ever I saw a husband and wife and their kids I longed to have my own family but I didn't want it with anyone besides Jia Xia.

This was the biggest thing holding me back from committing myself to Ling.

She was a great girl, but she wasn't Jia Xia.

My friends always said i was holding on to jer like I did with Bella, but it was different.

I married her and than loved her, lost her and myself with it all.

She was the only woman who chose me, over everything.

She stayed by my side, no matter how far i pushed her.

She endured our loss of our baby all by herself.

Everything she did was for me, my family, my image, my love, my honor.

I knew after i lost her that only she ever deserved my undivided attention, respect and love.

I had this hope deep in side my heart that all thise night mares were not regrets of what I lost but predictions of a future we would share.

We stopped at Furnace Logistics in Shanghai.

I walked up to the elevator and pushed tje 15th floor.

The elevator opened and we got in.

Ling placed her hand in my arm.

She had this habits of always acting as if I belonged to her whenever we would go somewhere public.

I didn't mind because at least it kept other unwanted woman's attention away from me.

We entered the CEO 's office and started the meeting.

His secretary came in and placed coffee in front off us.

We were still busy looking at the project plans when suddenly a familiar scent hits me.

Lillies.

I looked around to see where the smell was coming from but saw no one matching the person I was looking for.

I got uo and walked out in the middel of the meeting.

Maybe it was his secretary.

I went to her desk, she looked up but disappointed i turned around.

Down the hall i saw her.

Jia Xia.

She was wearing a blue two piece suite,with white heels.

Her hair was pulled back just like I remembered her.

She looked like she hasn't changed at all.

Her smile was as bright as the morning sun.

She was taking with one of the female staff, when suddenly I saw Ha-bin walking uo to her.

He kissed her cheek and placed his hand on her lower back.

I didn't fail to notice the rinv on his finger.

"Xavier, what happened?"

Came Ling's voice.

I watched as she turned her head in my direction.

Our eyes met.

For a few seconds it was just us.

I saw something in her eyes I saw years ago.

She turned and walked away immediately.

I needed to stop her so I ran after her but in a split second she was gone.

I ran down the stairs and into the parking lot and found not a single car.

I suddenly felt all the pain I had burned to ash all take control of my heart.

I finally had her right in my grasp but couldn't hold on.

Ling came down and walked ober to me.

"Xavier, what happened... Mr Price is waiting for us... Can we head back..."

I looked at her.

My heart was racing, suddenly I had no control.

I pulled her towards me and kissed her hard.

I had this longing I haven't felt in many years, that no one could cure.

Ling was startled.

She pushed me away but then took my hand and walked to the car.

Inside she sat me down and started kissing me.

She sat on my lap and pushed her skirt up.

She opened my belt and undid the zipper, I pulled my trouser down.

She lowered herself onto me.

Slowly she started moving her hips.

The car rocked as she rides me hard and fast.

But she wasn't going fast or hard enough.

I wasn't in my right mind, I pushed her down and turned her over.

I thrusted hard into her.

The more she tried to slow me down the harder I fought for control.

I was hurting her, but I didn't care at that moment.

I was trying to recreate the feeling I had when I was making love with Jia Xia, but the frustration was the only thing building up.

I kept going.

I needed a release.

After nearly 20 minutes I finally came.

Ling was fast enough to push me down before I came inside her.

I looked at her in shame.

She didn't deserve this.

"Ling, I'm sorry... I shouldn't have done that. Please forgive me."

She looked at me than pulled me close to her.

I laid in her lap and started sobbing.

This was the first time in ages I lost control.

We left and went to my place.

There i made it up to her.

I took a bath with her and massaged her body.

My fingers prints was left on her hips.

I kissed every part of her I had hurt.

I wasn't in any position to be with her any more so I finally told her we should stop seeing each other.

She was upset at first but than I explained to her what happened 6 years ago.

She understood and made me promise to ask her if I needed her help, we agreed on staying friends.

I called my father the next day.

He affirmed that Jia Xia had indeed returned but she was married and had two children.

My nightmare has come to life.