Beautiful Ruins

"Congratulations, Phil!" Isang masayang bati sa akin ng pamilya at kaibigan ko pagkatapos kong putulin ang ribbon na ginamit para sa opening ng art gallery na pinatayo ko. As an artist, it is my dream to have my own art gallery. After I graduate from my dream school and as a c*m laude, I really worked hard to achieved my goal. I looked at them with a big smile and giving them a grateful whisper. Hindi ko naman maachieve ang lahat ng ito without their help and support. "Thank you, everyone. This will never possible without your unending support and trust." "You know deserve mo to. After all your hard works you deserve all these blessings. I know after this, many will recognize how good you are. Dati pa naman, you're already great." "Ate naman, pinapaiyak mo ako." ngumuso ako sabay yakap sa kanya. I love her so much. She's my first ever fan. She believes in me even when I was little. Siya yung nagmotivate sa akin to pursue my dreams. Kaya naman I am very grateful to her. "Congratulations, Babe!" "Babe, you came!" abot tenga ang ngiti ko ng makita ko ang fiance ko. He was holding a bouquet of pink lilies. It's my favorite. Inabot niya ito sa akin sabay halik sa noo ko. Narinig ko pa ang tukso ng mga tao na nasa paligid namin. "Respeto naman po sa mga singles, opo." "Hay, iba talaga ang bukod tanging pinagpala sa lahat. Successful na, may poging boyfriend pa." "Edi, ikaw na." Nagtatawanan ang mga tao sa paligid namin. It was magical. Everything on this day feels like magical and a dream come true. Lahat ng ito noon ay nasa wishlist ko lang na nakalagay sa planner ko 5 years ago. But, today, every single dream started to unveil. From being a fine arts student to a professional artists. My works had been recognized not only here in Manila but now it was recognized nationwide. I know, mas madami namang magaling na artist kesa sa akin na mas kilala pero ang mapabilang sa kanila ay isang achievement na para sa akin. From painting on a small canvas to a bigger one. Ang sarap sa pakiramdam na pati sikat na mga tao ay na appreciate yung gawa mo. Ngayong nagbukas ako ng sarili kong art gallery kung saan idedisplay ang lahat ng paintings ko ay isang mas malaking achievement na iyon para sa akin. I started painting when I was 5 years old. I loved how a plain white paper turns into messy and colorful one. Parang isang achievement para sa akin na makagawa ng isang painting sa loob ng isang araw. Naalala ko po noong niregalohan ako ng Daddy ko ng sketchbook at color pensils noong nasa pre-school pa lamang ako. "Philline?" "Daddy!!!" "I got something for you." My eyes gets widen when I saw a thing on his hand. It's a sketchbook and a bundle of color pencils and crayons. "Yay!! Thank you po, Daddy!" It feels nostalgic, everything started with a passion and now I am living my passion. Sa bawat obra na magagawa ko ay buo na yung araw ko. People always finds my painting full of happiness and hope. It was painted with pastel colors. "You're spacing out. Are you alright?" He handed me a glass of wine. People are roaming around the gallery and I am happy to see them. One of these days I was planning to have an auction of my artworks. Balak ko din kasing magdonate sa charity sa malilikom kung pera mula sa paintings ko. It is my dream to be a blessing since the heaven blessed me with everything I wanted in this life. "Namiss ko lang si Daddy. Siguro, kung nandito lang sila ni mommy, for sure they are happy for me." "Kung saan man naroroon ngayon ang mga magulang mo, I'm hundred percent sure they're happy for you just like how happy I am and your ate sa lahat ng achievements mo." He hugged me. Nasa harap kami ngayon ng isang painting ko kung saan may dalawang couple na nakaupo sa isang bench habang pinapanood ang sunset. Nakaakbay ang lalaki sa babae habang ang babae naman ay nakahilig sa balikat nito. Hindi ko man kasama ang mga magulang ko sa napakalaking blessing na dumating sa akin, I am still grateful. To have a partner who's always been there for me and my ate who never leave me and supported me from the very beginning until now. "Philline, you're such a good artist. I hope I can have one of your work. Congratulations to you." "Thank you, Tita. Don't worry I have a present for you at sa lahat ng pumunta sa opening nitong gallery ngayon." ngiti ko sa kanya. Agad kong sininyasan ang assistant ko na kunin ang paintings na ginawa ko before pa man ang opening nitong gallery ko. It was an abstract paintings na nasa maliit lang na canvas. Masaya ang lahat ng pumunta and it doubled my joy. There's nothing more happier to someone who's living her dream. Isa-isa nang nagpaalam ang mga dumalo sa opening ng gallery ko at masaya sila dahil sa libre painting na binigay ko. For me it's just a small token of thankgiving for their unending support to my passion and business as well. "Again, congratulations Phil, I am so proud of you and I am so excited to see what more to come after this opening for sure mas madami pang mga tao ang makikita ang magagandang gawa mo." I hugged my ate tightly. Hindi mawala ang ngiti ko sa labi habang ninanamnam ang bawat nangyayari sa buhay ko. I know this is not as perfect as people see my life right now. But still, I am grateful. Sabi nila, maswerte daw ako kasi lahat ng gusto ko nakukuha ko. Kahit na noong nawala ang parents ko, luck is always with me. Yes, it was very painful for me and ate to lose our parents but thankfully those painful moment doesn't stop us but motivates us to be better and to do better in life. Sometimes, you just need to remember that life does not stop when someone leave you. My parents died because of the car accident at wala naman kaming magagawa doon. Masakit pero kailangan tanggapin. Matagal din bago kami makarecover ng ate ko from that pain. But life always go on. It's been 10 years ng wala ang parents namin pero everytime my magagandang nangyayari sa amin ng ate ko, lagi namin naalala ang salita ng parents namin. "Be grateful. Dahil hindi lahat nabibigyan ng pagkakataon, kaya mapalad ka dahil minsan sa buhay mo naging maganda ang takbo nito sayo." "I miss Mom and Dad, ate." "I miss them too. Pero sure akong super proud sila sayo." When I looked back how I started it all. I wasn't an easy walk. It was tough, full of challenges. May mga failures but those failures are always part of success. Kaya, no matter how painful and hard you're facing right now, remember that there is always a lighter and beautiful future ahead. All you need to do is to work hard, be patient and trust God and His timing. After the event, inaya ako ng fiance ko na kumain sa labas. Nagpaalam na din ang ate ko dahil mayroon pa daw silang importanteng pupuntahan. Magkaiba kasi ang tinitirhan namin ng ate ko. Sa ngayon, she is living on our house samantalang ako naman ay nakatira sa condo ko na malapit lang sa art gallery ko. Aside kasi sa gallery mayroon din akong ibang business. I have a flower boutique. Maliit lang naman siya pero isa iyon sa nakatulong sa akin para matustusan lahat ng needs ko. Hindi din naman kasi mura ang mga gamit sa painting kaya kailangan ko talaga ng income to sustain my needs for my passion. Gabriel and I we've been together for almost 7 years now and he proposed to me 2 months ago. Pero dahil naging busy ako after the proposal ay hindi namin naaasikaso ang kasal namin and I am glad that he is very understanding. "Babe, thank you." "Thank you for what?" "For your love, for being understanding, for everything." Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at dinala ito sa labi niya upang hagkan. "I love you and I am willing to do everything for you." "I love you too." Sa loob ng mahabang panahon naming magkarelasyon ni Gabriel, ni minsan ay hindi niya pinaramdam sa akin na may mga bagay na nakakasabagal sa pag iibigan namin. He always been so supportive. He always made sure that nothing can ruin us. Or so I thought. It's been three weeks after ng opening ng gallery ko, mas naging abala ako at wala na akong time para sa amin ni Gabriel. Gabriel is a doctor at alam kong busy din siya as a pediatrician pero lagi siyang may time para sa akin and I feel so guilty about it. Kaya naman I decided na this time, ako naman ang gagawa ng way para magkatime kami together. I drove my car papunta sa condo niya to surprise him. Nagdala ako ng take out food from our favorite restaurant. I was happily rode the elevator. This is not the first time na pumunta ako sa condo niya katunayan ay mayroon akong duplicate key card. Alam ko din ang passcode niya kaya kahit hindi na ako magdoorbell ay pwede akong pumasok. Naging mabilis ang pagkahbang ko at tanging tunog ng takong ng sandals ko ang maririnig sa tahimik na hallway kung saan naroon ang unit ni Gabriel. Nang makarating ako sa harap ng kanyang unit ay biglang nagdagsaan ang mabilis na t***k ng puso ko. Para bang may naghahabolan ng kabayo. I take a deep breath before I tap a keycard. My heartbeat doubled when I started to stepped inside. Mas naging mahigpit din ang naging hawak ko sa paperbag na dala ko. Tahimik, yan ang sumalubong sa akin. Kaya naman ay pumasok na ako at nilapag muna ang dala kong paper bag sa mesa na nasa sala niya at nagsimulang tawagin si Gabriel. I stopped walking when I heard someone talking inside his room. Parang napanood ko na to. The scene where the girlfriend caught his boyfriend with another woman. I seen thin before, in movies. Pero bakit parang iba ang naging pakiramdam ko. Hindi naman siguro gagawin sa akin ni Gabriel yung mga nangyayari sa movies at novel stories right? "How's the preparation to your wedding?" The voice was familiar pero parang impossible. "Ganun pa din. Mukhang wala pa ata siyang balak magpakasal. She's so busy with her passion and dreams. " Parang may kung aning punyal ang sumaksak sa puso ko ng marinig ko ang boses ng fiance ko. "Are you disappointed?" The woman's voice again pero parang nabibingi ako dahil sa lakas ng kabog ng puso ko. No, hindi tama iyong naririnig ko. I just misheard it. I convinced myself. "Of course not. Mas maganda ngang busy siya para may time pa tayo together. Dahil kapag kinasal na kami, paano nalang tayo." They laugh in unison that made me deaf to hear more. Kinuyom ko ang kamao ko at dahan dahang lumapit pa sa pintuan. Hindi ito nakasara ng tuluyan kaya kitang kita ko ang loob nito. "Kasalanan mo din naman, nagmamadali kang magpropose sa kanya. Alam mo namang mataas ang pangarap noon." Halos bumagsak ako sa kinatatayuan ko ng biglang humarap ang babae sa gawi ko pero nakatuon ang tingin sa fiance ko. They are facing each other on his bed with only a white mattress to cover their skin. "Can we not talk about her now? Ang isipin nalang muna natin sa ngayon ay kung paano natin pasayahin ang isa't isa." And everything just stop. My heart stop beating and my tongue got tied. All I can see is dark. And before I could make a sin. I walked away. Of all the people, why it has to be you, Ate?