Honest

thirty-eight

Desiree

I wake up, a little out of sorts.

I try to shrug him off, but he tightens his grip, turning us over. He lays over top of me.

"You think you're getting away?" He rasps, pressing a kiss to my lips.

I blink away the sleep from my mind.

"Giuseppe-"

"You know I was tempted, last night to tie you up, and keep you here by force. I thought, even if your gang comes, I'll just exterminate them, to keep you here."

Shock. The crazed look in his eyes...

He smiles. "You would hate me wouldn't you?"

"Yes," I whisper.

"But I could deal with it, I probably could handle it, you hating me."

Oh no. No.

"Baby," I cup his cheek. "Don't go crazy. I have to go now, but I'll see you later."

He smiles, closing his eyes, leaning into my touch, putting his hand on wrist softly.

I glance around at the space around us. Just in case.

"Mh," He opens his eyes, "But I'm not your baby anymore. Am I?"

I breathe harshly.

"This way, you can never escape. I could make sure of it."

I narrow my eyes. "Don't do this. Don't ruin what we have. Because if you do, I can promise you, we will both lose."

"Just like lovers, together in everything?" He grins.

Shit.

"You see it don't you? This is the only way. I let you use me, and you keep leaving. Or, I force to stay here, and you hate me. Either way, we both lose don't we?"

"If you love me-"

"I'd want you to be happy? Is that what you were going to say?" he scoffs.

"That's a lie that weak people perpetuate. I don't believe that. That's not how my love works."

I nod. "How does your love work?"

He smiles. "A little like yours, I think. Toxic. It chokes you, suffocating, a little painful." he chuckles. "But what can I do, huh? Let you leave?"

"I can't let you leave me."

I close my eyes. "Okay."

"Okay?" He repeats in disbelief.

"Okay."

He sighs, releasing my from his grip. He sits on the edge of his bed, his head in hands.

"Leave, go ahead. It's okay."

It's not. I dress silently.

"And...Desiree,"

I pause. "Don't... don't come back. We shouldn't have any contact."

I narrow my eyes. "But you-"

You need me.

"I don't want to hurt you." He whispers. And that's that.

He says nothing, waiting for me to leave.

So I do, I linger by the door, for a moment, sadly watching his distressed form.

I close the door behind me as I leave.