BUTTERFLY

why

The message read "hey beautiful! You looked great today in school"

"Of course you noticed" I replied

"Obviously a person like you can't be gone noticed"

"Don't lie"

"I am not lying. Anyways, I would like to meet you tomorrow in school after your biology class"

" Okay sure"

The next morning I got up all excited. I would finally meet him school. He isn't going to ignore me anymore. I choose a white crop top with black high waisted jeans with black combat boots. I tied my hair in a half up half down.

I went to school singing songs and dancing on the streets. My mom tells me not to do so as everyone will think I am crazy if I do so. But I personally enjoy doing so.

I reached school in about 30 mins. I had a art class to attend so I went there. There I tried making sketch of a flower pot. It looked really real if I may say so myself.

The next class was of PE. I went there in the hall. The coach told us to dodge ball. I was good at it. I was good at almost all the sports. I liked playing sports in general.

I changed from my PE uniform to my outfit of the day. I applied perfume worried that I may reek of sweat from all that exercising. I borrowed a lip gloss from Becky.

Finally it was time for my biology class. After that class I came trying to search for Alex when one of friend came to me and said "he didn't came to school today. Don't search for him."

I went back home thinking that why I paid so much attention and efforts into this when he seriously doesn't care. I felt sad and upset.

I went home and went straight to my room. I completed my homework. After completing my homework I thought of going through i********: for some time. There I saw his story update. He was with this random girl named Ginny. She is the one who pushed in the pool on that party. She has so pretty big eyes and pretty features. And her body is perfect. '

Should I confront him about it or should I just let it go? I shall just let it go. I don't own him and I am nothing to him right now. Strange Alex didn't message me tonight. He must be tired. He might have slept by now I should go to sleep now. 

Next day I got ready for school again hopeful to see him. I wore my favorite pink dress. I went to school and realized he didn't come today either.

I went back home checked his story updates. Again with a girl not the party one but some other girl. She looks like a goddess too. And then here I am funny looking creature.

Next day too it was like he was gone . Disappeared into thin air. But well that wasn't the truth because every day after coming from school I used to check his story updates and there  he was with some random chick of his enjoying the best time of his life literally forgetting about me now that I actually want him to remember me I was never anything to him

And don't get me started on how perfect those girls were. They were goddesses . Perfect bodies, perfect hair , perfect makeup and maybe they also weren't such socially weird person like me. I can't have a conversation without stuttering at least once.

I don't know why was even thinking about it it's not like he meant something to me  too but probably he did I felt really comfortable and confident that night it was like I was a different person I wasn't me I was someone who is confident in herself , could hold a conversation with any one  she like . I wish that was real me and not this  stupid person I am.

Sometimes I even hate myself for hating myself ,you know what I mean like I don't like when I hate myself and talk lowly of me but I can't help it they are people out there just effortlessly perfect and then the people like me . Alex is one of those perfect people and I don't belong in that crowd I can't even imagine myself in that crowd. I think comparing myself with other people is my favorite time pass. I do that almost every time I see someone on i********: having the perfect life and that's when I start doing it I start comparing my life with hers I know it's stupid but sometimes you just can't help it.

But I've had enough of this Alex drama seriously if he wants to talk to me then he should not ignore me like this and literally ghost to me it has been a week he's been ghosting me now that I'm not going to confront him about why he was ghosting me but I'm gonna tell him I've had enough of the stupidity and we are not even friends anymore. Like daily telling me that we will talk and then not come to school and not even a single message from him . Not even one . Not that I was expecting any but maybe I was. I feel really sad , weak , every bad and sad that is i am feeling that right now.

Next morning I knew exactly what I had to do tell Alex that we are done now not that we were anything in the first place but whatever this was going between us we are done we are not doing it anymore. So i went to my art class and for the first time there was this thing with me I didn't quite really recognize because I don't feel such every day but there was some thing and it was good.  I drew a sketch of an apple today and it looked real, I think I was getting drawings.

Got out of my class luckily I don't have any class after this I don't know why I didn't but I didn't probably the teachers are busy partying or something I don't know I don't even want to know.

From the corner of my eye I saw him I saw Alex semester Alex decided to come to school after a week and he didn't even bother telling me oh great I'm thinking actually mean something to him again

"Alex" I called him. He signaled his friend that he will back shortly and made his way towards me .

"I think we need to talk" I told him

" we sure do"

"Yeah so I was all saying you told me that we will meet in school but you didn't come and after that you didn't even bother messaging me why is that"

"Because I didn't want to message you you can ask the guy you were talking in your class yesterday to message you or something don't except any  message for me"

"I'm sorry who"

"Don't act all nice and OK you know what I'm talking about I don't want to talk to you I'm done talking to you" and with that he turned around and left me in the hallway just thinking about what did I even do??