The World Where She Fits

TWWSF 5: Letting Go

Chase POV

Nanlaki sa gulat sa aking mga mata at bigla akong napatayo sa narinig. Did I hear it right? Is this some kind of a joke? "What did you say, Sir?" I confusedly asked.

"Marry Breena." Ulit ni Mr. Lee sa kanyang sinabi.

"Did I hear it right? You want me to marry Breena?" He nodded. "But why?"

"Timmy is obsess with my daughter Breena and he won't stop until he gets her. He just let her go for now because of the deal I made with his father that I will relinquish my position if they hand back my daughter to me."

"Why me, then? I'm sure there are a lot of guy you know that are willing to marry Breena."

"That's the reason, we know them and Timmy know most of them as well. I am gambling now the safety of my daughter and I am placing my bet in you, Chase." He walks towards me and hold my shoulder. "Please marry my daughter. I beg you."

I close my eyes tightly. What to do now? I just can't bluntly say no to the father of the girl that save my life, can I? Shandra's image suddenly pop in my head, the girl I wish to marry and spend my life with. I don't have any idea yet about the war that is happening in the Palace. But I know that once the battle is finished Shandra are going to marry the crown prince.

I can't marry the girl I love, so, why not help the girl needed my help the most? I already given my word that I will take care of her, marrying her is no difference. I already made up my mind, with a heavy sigh I open my eyes and look directly at Mr. Lee.

"Yes, Sir. I will marry Breena."

Nakahinga na maluwag na tumango si Mr. Lee at mahigpit na hinawakan ang aking balikat. "Thank you, Chase."

"You can have my word, Sir. I can marry your daughter," I pause, then firmly continued, "but I can't give her my heart."

*****

Malalim na ang gabi pero gising pa rin ako. I can't sleep. I am still debating and wondering if I did the right thing. Wala pang isang araw mula ng dumating ako kasama si Breena. I choose to stay at home with her rather than letting here stay in some place. At least, it is much safer here and it won't be awkward since Raijin is with us.

Bumaba ako sa mini bar at nagsalin ng wine. Baka sakaling makatulog ako pagkatapos ng ilang shots. I sat in a stool and put my head in the bar counter. I let out a deep troubled sigh.

"Are you okay?"

Napaangat ako sa nagsalita. "Yeah," I replied. Pinanood ko si Breena na nagsalin din ng alak sa kopita saka umupo sa kabilang bahagi ng counter. "You seem at home."

"Do I have a choice? Besides no one's here other than us and your sister."

"Ahm." Hindi na ako nagsalita at napatitig na lang sa laman ng kopita ko. Habang si Breena naman ay batid ko na matamang nakatitig sa akin.

"Your mind is wondering somewhere, Chase. What are you thinking?"

Hindi ko siya nagawang sagutin agad. "Just some things." The only answer that came out.

"I'm going to bed now," she said. "I know you're not that comfortable talking to me about some things. That's understandable since we barely know each other." She taps my shoulder before she heads to the stair. "Goodnight."

Tumango lang ako habang sinundan siya ng tanaw. Pagkatapos ng isang shots ay bumalik na din ako sa kwarto ko.

Mataas na ang sikat ng araw ng magising ako kinabukasan. Nagising ako dahil sa mga boses na narinig ko sa labas ng kwarto. Pinipigilan ng mayordoma si Breena na pumasok sa kwarto ko. My room is private and only a few who are allowed to enter with my permission. Hinayaan ko na lang silang dalawa. May tiwala akong hindi makakapasok si Breena.

Pagkatapos maligo ay agad akong nagtext sa mga kaibigan ko para makipagkita. Sa susunod na araw pa ako babalik ng school. Kailangan ko munang ayusin ang dapat ayusin para makabalik sa pag-aaral. Tutulungan ko din si Breena sa paglalakad ng paglipat niya sa school ko.

Ng ilapag ko na ang phone ko sa bedside table ay naagaw ng isang picture frame ang atensyon ko. Maingat na inangat ko ang frame at pinakatitigan ang picture. Hindi ko maiwasang mapangiti. She looks so happy in the picture. Inikot ko ang aking paningin sa loob ng kwarto ko. And that's when I realize that my room is full of her pictures. Our pictures, our memories.

I sigh and calm down myself, before I succumb to the different emotions I felt. I put back the frame in the bedside table. Bumaba na rin ako agad para mag-almusal.

"Good Morning, Kuya." Raijin greeted with a kiss in my cheek.

"Morning." Kumunot ang noo ko ng makita ko siyang naglakad patungo sa pinto. "Hey," pigil ko sa kanya, "are you done with your breakfast?"

"I'm in a hurry, Kuya. I promise to eat in school." She said and ran outside.

Napailing na lang akong naglakad pabalik ng dining room. Naabutan ko ang isang katulong na naghahanda ng agahan. "Where's Breena?" As if on cue, I saw her entering the dining room before the helper can answer.

"You're going somewhere?" She asks.

"Yeah," I nodded. "I'm meeting my friends. You're okay here, right?"

"Uh! I'll be fine here." Sagot niya habang inukupa ang upuan sa kaliwang bahagi ng mesa.

Umupo na rin ako sa tapat niya at nag-umpisa ng kumain. Binuksan naman ng katulong ang TV sa dining area para sa morning news. Saktong pagbukas niya ay ibinabalita ang isang malaking balita sa Japan.

"The Imperial Palace announce this morning the upcoming Royal Wedding. The Crown Prince is set to marry the Princess of Daichi, a week from now, in a traditional ceremony inside the Palace. After the wedding ceremony, the Royal Couple will have their Royal Parade in the City. This mark as an introduction for the next Ruler of the Empire. Also, the first time that the public will see the Crown Prince and Crown Princess. This will surely be a lifetime experience for everyone."

Nakatutok lang ang atensyon ko sa TV kaya hindi ko napansin na nabasag na pala ang baso sa higpit ng pagkakahawak ko. Natauhan lang ako ng hawakan ni Breena ang kamay ko at punasan. Saka ko lang napagtanto na dumudugo na pala ang kamay ko.

"Are you alright? What happened, Chase?" Nag-aalalang tanong ni Breena habang ginagamot ang sugatan kong kamay.

Wala akong ibang nagawa kundi ang mariing pumikit. Subalit umalingawngaw lang sa aking isipan ang balita. Though I am expecting this, it's still hurt like hell. The truth that I am so afraid of is finally announced.

"I'm fine," I said without emotion. Padaskol kung binawi ang kamay saka umalis ng dining area. Dumiretso ako sa mini gym ng bahay. Marahas kung hinubad ang jacket at shirt na suot ko. Walang tigil na pinagsusuntok ko ang punching bag kahit pa wala akong suot na gloves. I just want to vent out my anger until I got tired. Maybe, I am able to forget what I heard even just for a few hours.

I stayed in the gym the whole day. The plan of meeting my friends totally slip my mind. The only thing that keeps playing in my head is the announcement. And I stayed there, staring blankly in the ceiling. Tears already dried up in my cheeks yet I never move an inch since I dropped myself down for being exhausted.

I feel like my whole body is so heavy and I don't have any energy. I feel like I can't breathe. It feels like my life is taken away from me in my very eyes. It feels like the world becomes black and white. It feels like everything around me is in turmoil, everything turn upside down. It feels like there's no use living at all.

And I don't know how and where to start again.

That night, my friends came, the remaining DK, the remaining BA, Haven and Ember. They stayed there with me without uttering any comments about what. Their presence is enough to tell that they were there. That they are willing to accompany me in my pain and misery. Their silence is enough comfort.

Ng gabi ding iyon ay sinamahan nila akong magpakalunod sa alak. Sa pag-aakalang makakatulong ito upang makalimot. Subalit hindi. Maaari ngang makalimot kapag lasing ka na pero kapag nawala na ang epekto ng alak ay bumabalik din ang lahat. The truth, the pain, everything will be back and you can't run away from it.

***

I'm in GSU right now with the rest of the DK and BA. Ember and Haven tagging along. We are seated in our rightful place, the High. I lazily raised my feet and put it in the corner of the table, leaned my back and close my eyes. As my companion chatted with something I'm not paying attention with. I heave a deep sigh that I'm sure got their attention. I can feel their burning stare unto me.

"Are you sure you're alright Chase?" Haven ask with an evident worry in her voice.

"I'm good, Ve." I answered quietly with eyes still close, not bothering to look at my friends.

"How about your wounds?" Ace asks. I hear the guilt behind his worried tone. He sorts of blaming himself with what happened to me during our mission rescuing Courtney. Which turn out to naught. I just learned that the time I was drowning, Courtney's father came. They don't have any idea how it happened that her father was able to catch them. They weren't able to put up a fight with a hundred men. And in the end Courtney sacrifice herself just to save the three. She was able to push them to the ocean, as they were at the edge of the wall surrounding the small island.

"It's healing." I came with a very short reply.

I heard Vash sigh. I opened my eyes only to see that he's looking at me intently, so as the others. "What?" I murmured with a knotted forehead.

"Were you really going to do it?" Vash ask slyly. I frown but soon I understand what he means.

"Yeah. I already give my word."

"Is there anything you can do about it?" Ember grimly asks. She sure are not happy with what I'm going to do.

"You know that Dark Knights honor his word, Em. I can be free of it if freedom is given to me with whom I give my word."

"That sucks." She muttered.

"Maybe but I owe them that much."

"Yeah, enough for you to compromise your freedom and be stuck in that s**t of mess." Ash stated sarcastically. They are sure not happy with what I'm into.

"Hey! Enough, alright." Laxus at last said something. He's been quiet all this time. Haven't heard anything from him about this mess I made in my already complicated life. "It's the day today, right?"

What he said sent everyone to silence. Yeah, he's damn true. Today is the day. They all darted their look to me. I can tell that they're hurting but not as hell as I'm feeling. My breathing become heavy as my heart pounding faster in my chest. s**t! I'm so not ready for this, not ever.

I look up, I can't meet their intense gaze. Not if I'm seeing their hurt and worried look. "Yeah." Came my reply which almost a whisper. "Heard it from the news."

"The Royal Parade will be broadcast, who wants to watch." Ember said insensitively.

"Ember!" Haven snapped at her, almost furious.

"Relax Ve, I know." She sighs and give me a glance. "She's still our friend. Don't you want to watch her one last time?" Ember continued.

"But --- "

"It's okay if you wanted to watch. Don't mind me." I put down my feet and stand up. "I'm going somewhere." I said as I walk away without looking back.

I speed to my sanctuary. Stared at the place still riding in my motorbike. After a few minutes battling with myself, I get off and walk towards the only tree in the middle.

Will this be the last time that I'm coming here? I silently ask myself. It should be. There is no reason to keep coming here as this place held so much memories of her. This should be the right time giving up. She's getting married today with the Prince and she will become the Empress, as what her responsibility is.

I shove my hand in my pocket and held the necklace that she left when she decided to fulfill her duty. The necklace that had her promise of loving me whatever it takes and wherever she is. But that promise doesn't include about coming back to me someday. Or else I will be much more willing to wait.

Everything is different now. She isn't coming back and I am about to be stuck in a situation that I'm not expecting. But I already given my word and I won't back down from it. We will be going to a very different path. She, with her responsibilities and duty. And me, to honor and fulfill my word, with the best I can.

I look at the necklace one last time and hang it in the trunk of that tree.

"I guess I'm going to let you go now Shandra Bethany Davies. I always love you."

I turn around to leave. After a few steps, I immediately halt myself. I can't! Once again, I am having a battle if what I did is right. If it is indeed right, then why it hurts so much?