The World Where She Fits

TWWSF 6: Starless Goodbye

Chase POV

Everybody is busy preparing for a party. An Engagement Party. Tonight, will be my engagement with Breena. She already met my parents. Though I can't say that they like her, they respect my decision. Although Mom is very vocal to me. Saying she really wish Shandra to be her daughter in-law.

Kahit ganito ang naging sitwasyon, si Mom pa rin ang nangasiwa sa gagawing party. Tumutulong din naman si Breena pero dahil hindi pa niya gamay dito hinayaan niyang si Mom na ang mag-ayos sa karamihan.

Hindi makakadalo ang ama ni Breena. Mas pinili nitong manatili sa China upang hindi malaman ng mga kalaban ang kinaroroonan ng anak. Batid nito na may lihim na nakabantay dito. At sa isang pagkakamali ay tiyak na malalagay sa alanganin ang anak.

My friends also help in preparation. Though they're not really happy about this. So far, they are polite with Breena. But they don't accept her yet. And I'm thankful that they never said anything, even Zander.

The one who is really against with the engagement is my sister, Raijin. She said that she will never accept Breena as my fiancée. That she had a feeling that I'm doing the wrong thing. She even threatened me that I'm going to regret my decision sooner. I don't know why but I feel nervous about what she said.

The party starts at 7:00 yet the visitors are coming in early. Wala pa ang takdang oras ng party pero halos dumating na ang karamihan sa mga bisita. Hindi ako makapaniwala na ganito kadami ang dadalo.

Inilibot ko ang paningin sa mga bisita. Karamihan ay mga kakilala ng magulang ko sa negosyo. Pero alam ko ang iba sa mga iyon ay kabilang din sa DC Org. Not direct members but an affiliate. Even direct members of DC Org are among the crowds.

Hinanap ko ang aking mga kaibigan, naka-pwesto sila malapit sa gitna. Hindi mo mababakas sa kanilang mukha ang kasiyahan. Ng mapatingin ako sa kabilang mesa ay nakita ko si Raijin. Nakasimangot siya sa kanyang kina-uupan at mukhang bagot na bagot. Hindi ko maiwasang bumuntunghininga. Nagkakatuwaan at masaya ang mga bisita maliban sa mga taong malapit sa akin. Even me is not happy at all.

At exactly 7 in the evening, the party starts. After the small message from Dad and Mom, the host introduce me first and then, Breena. After the introduction is the giving of gifts and message from close friends. Then, the announcement of engagement.

"Congratulations to our newly engaged couple. Rayon Chase Scamper and Hillary Breena Lee..." The host trailed off at the last word as the door opened.

Everyone's eyes darted to the door, including me, as we heard it creak. I can't clearly see who came in because of the lighting. The light in the entrance is dim.

"Oh! Let's welcome the arrival of Ms. Shandra Bethany Davies..."

I didn't what exactly the host said but the name he mentioned ring in my ears. I drastically turn around and look at the entrance. The light is now focus to the girl slowly coming in. My hearing is not playing with me.

Because there she is, the girl that I truly love. Show up in my engagement. I don't really know why she's here but my already broken heart scattered to pieces.

Seeing the hurt in her eyes makes me want to curse myself. More than anything else, I don't want to see her hurting and I'll never hurt her intentionally yet I did.

I close my fist tightly, trying to hold back the burst of anger that crept into me. For I know that if I don't, I'm going to ruin the whole place. If I can't hold back, this place will be a disaster.

A bitter laugh almost slips my mouth. Raijin is so damn right! The moment my eyes landed on her I automatically regretted my decision. For the first time I ask myself why did I have made DK to honor our word. Why I uphold to never betray and break the promise we made and fulfill it with the best we can. For the first I regretted being a DK, much a leader of it. And I hated myself more for thinking this way.

Despite the different emotions that's in turmoil inside me, I need to face her devoid of any emotions. I have to, not for me but for Shandra. I can't put her in a dire situation. If I have to pretend like it's nothing, that she's nothing, I will. If it's the only way to avoid something we both don't want to happen.

People who knows about us are observing in silence or they might be as shocked as am I. They stayed still, as if they are holding an antique and afraid that it might slip their hands if they move an inch. I almost didn't notice Zander stand but Haven stop him.

I heard a faint relieved sigh from them the moment my Mom stand up and greeted Shandra with a tight hug. The next to greet her is my father and sister. Raijin throw herself in Shandra's embrace, hugging her tightly as if she is going to vanished.

"That's enough, Raijin." I scolded her as I saw that Shandra almost can't breathe because she's hugging her so tight.

"I miss you too, Raijin." I heard Shandra said while touching Raijin cheeks with so much affection. Raijin give her a hug again before taking her leave.

With Raijin gone, Shandra turn to face me and Breena. "Congratulations, both of you." She said to us in her most civil way.

I didn't say a word because I really don't know what to say. I just look at her with scrutinizing eyes, try to read her. I didn't even faze knowing that Breena is giving a wondering look. I just want to know what Shandra feels at this moment. Pain may not be visible in her face but her eyes that look at me for a second says it all. She's just trying hard to be brave and not to show it. And I am very proud of her.

I heave a deep sigh as I watch Zander assisting Shandra to sit. I caught Breena eyeing me when I turn my look away from my friends.

"Don't ask." I said in a cold and firm voice before she can open her mouth to say something. I'm not in shape to answer questions about Shandra at the moment especially if it comes from the girl I am engaged with.

Breena raised her brows with my reaction but shrugged her shoulder and turn to pay attention with the party again. I stayed beside her going from table to table to have a little chat with the guests. But not where my friends seated, until Shandra was there.

As the party continues, I can't help but feel suffocated. I'm not really a party person and I never stayed in a party from the start to the end. Breena is busy talking about fashion with some of the guest. I excuse myself and made my way to the terrace. I just want to take a breather, to have a fresh evening air.

I take a deep breath as the evening cool air touches my face. I leaned on the wall and look up at the sky. There's no single star that shine tonight. The sky is so dark without the stars. Just like me. It feels like I am walking in the endless darkness. I can't see the light no matter how much I walk on.

Something moves in the dark corner of the terrace that caught my peripheral vision. I slowly walk towards the corner to check it out. Only to realize that it was Shandra. Like me, she's also not a party person. Maybe that's why she's here.

"Why are you here, Shan?" I asked the obvious. I don't know how to start a conversation and that's what slip from my mouth.

She place the wine glass on the side and slowly turn around to face me. "I'm not really a party person, you know," she said shrugging her shoulder casually as if we are nothing but an acquaintance.

Pain strike through me. "You know that's not what I mean," I said in a low voice. I put my hands inside my pants pocket. A way to calm and stop myself to touch her.

She sighs and look away. "Ate Yen took my place."

Just five words but I understand what it means, clear as a day. I close my eyes tightly and silently growl. When I open my eyes, I look at her deeply. "I'm sorry, Shan."

Just two words but it says everything. The pain, sadness and regret are all visible in my eyes. She will able to see how broken I am knowing that she is now free, but I'm not. This is how cruel life can be.

"You don't have to, Chase." She put her hand in my face and touch it delicately. "Your word, your promise. You honor it and I respect it."

"Shan..." I whispered her name. I hold her hand in my face and snuggle it close. Even if she said those words, I am fully aware that she's hurting. I can see it in her eyes no matter how hard she tries to hide it. I know her better than she knows herself. And I hate myself because I can't do anything about it.

"In this world full of lies and greed it's awesome to know that there is still someone who are true and stand firm of his word," she continued. "And that's you. Who am I to take it away from you? Even if I love you so..."

She said the last sentence almost a whisper but I heard it clearly. As much as I want to shout in happiness knowing that she still loves me, I can't do so. Not in a situation we are in.

"And you know how much I love you too, Shan," I can't help but being true. She's still the only one that I love. Since then and now and in the future. She will remain in my heart forever. "If only I can take back my word, I will gladly do it. If only you could make me free." I stated agonizingly, making me look like a pathetic person.

"Even if I know how to make you free with your word, your promise that bind you to her, I won't do it. I can't rip off your dignity because that's what makes you who you are. It's the least I can do after everything," she softly answered, not breaking our gaze.

I heave a deep sigh and close my eyes. I look back at her in defeat and my eyes is now brimming in tears. "Will you be alright?" I asked worriedly, surrendering in our current situation, as tears started to fall.

"Don't mind me, I can manage somehow. And I believe in fate. I believe that we are fated to each other. That in the near future, fate will find its way to us, to be with each other arms. For now, I will hold on to that belief and have faith in fate."

Hearing her saying those words makes me hopeful. That someday, in the near future, I can get out in this messy situation and I can hold her again. If that happens, I will never let her go.

I'm hoping for that day to come, Shan. Just wait for me a little bit longer.

Her tears fall like a river as she tilts her head upward to kiss me. As her lips touch mine, I silently wish for the day to come that we will both free. I kiss her with intensity and so much passion. Giving her all the love that I felt through the kiss we shared, for a last time.

She hugs me after breaking the kiss we shared and I return the hug. "The first and second time that I left, I was not able to say goodbye. And now, even though I'm not leaving, I got the chance to do it," she whispered in my ears.

"I love you so much, Shan," I murmured as I held her tightly and kiss her head, not really wanting to let go.

She freed herself from my embrace. Look at my face, as if memorizing every detail and when she's satisfied, she tiptoed and peck my lips.

"Goodbye, Chase."

She turned around and walk away without looking back until I can't see her through the crowd. I tried to look for her but she vanished just like Cinderella when the clock strikes at 12 midnight. But unlike Cinderella who left her shoes behind, giving a chance to the Prince to look for her. She left behind my broken heart and it will take time for me to put it back together.

I smiled bitterly, "life isn't a fairytale."