Ghost

CHAPTER 11

Ewan ko ba kung ano na naman ang nasa isip ni Benedict. He's beginning to get a reputation at gustong-gusto na lahat ng mga nurses sa ospital na makaisa sa kanya. They'll just become like me. Iiwanan din sila ni Benedict after na gamitin. Ang hindi ko lang maintindihan eh may wedding ring siya at alam ko namang si Annie ang asawa niya so what's he doing here?

"Magkakaroon nga pala ng medical mission sa Palawan next weekend at hindi sasama si Dr. Jung which is such a shame kasi magaling siya pero kailangan pa ng isang volunteer." Sabi pa ni Dr. Cruz. Ayoko nga sa Palawan, walang night life.

"Dr. Torres?" Dr. Cruz asked.

"Nope, member na ako ng research team para sa clinical trials ng cystic fibrosis. I'm sorry, find someone else." I plastered a beauty queen kinda smile. He is affected. Tama iyan, ayoko sa Palawan. Ayoko sa lugar na walang internet. Kawang-gawa man ito, di ko pa rin kaya. Sorry.

"Sayang naman. Maganda sa record ang medical mission." Sabi pa niya.

Naghiyawan ang mga lalaking interns. Gusto nila akong isama. Mga m******s! Ayoko nga talaga. I'm not into the wildlife. Basta ayoko talaga. Hindi ako sasama kahit ano pang mangyari. Napansin kong nakatingin sa akin ang mga lalaking interns at unaasang maisama ako. Hindi ako papayag.

"Sige na!" Sigaw pa nila.

"Nope. Mas mahalaga sa career ko maging member ng research team for this rare disease. I was able to be drafted for the part at mahirap ang dinaanan ko para lang mapili." Narinig kong may tumikhim sa likod ko at si Benedict pala. Kanina pa kaya siya sa likod ko? Kaya pala medyo creepy at nanlalamig ang likod ko.

"Baka hindi mo lang kaya. Challenging kasi ang cases na makikita mo sa medical mission. Well, okay lang naman kung sasabihin mong hindi mo kasi kaya." I stood up and faced him. Galit na galit ngayon ang pagmumukha ko. How could he doubt me capabilities?

"My decision is final. Hindi ako magpapadala sa mga hamon ng kahit sino I've been aiming to be part of a research team na kakaiba ang cases. I'm aiming to take... Oncology. Nagbago na kasi ang balak kong kuhanin." I sat again and he remained silent na para bang napahiya. Wala akong pakialam. It's my decision to stay.

It's a rare genetic failure and I badly need that to step up my career. Sa ibang bansa kasi kami ni Anthony kukuha ng specialization kasama si Alex, so kailangan namin ng matinding background. Hindi ko alam kung ano na naman ang pakulo ni Benedict pero alam kong iniinis lang niya ako. He has no power when it comes to things like this one.

"Doctors, kawang-gawa ito. 1 week lang naman ang hinihingi namin sa inyo. Bayad pa rin naman kayo, but the main sacrifice here is to sleep on huts, rely on oil lamps and... well camping kinda lifestyle. I hope marami ang sumama. I was expecting the top 8 to join, kasi sa top 10 ang top 1 lang ang may responsibility na maiwan. So, sasama ka na ba Dr. Torres?"

"I can't. My decision is final." Nanahimik ang lahat na para bang mag nasabi akong mali at dapat kong bawiin. First and foremost, naipangako ko na ang sarili ko sa research team.

Pumasok si Dr. Falcon and she went in front of the board. Nakatingin siya sa lahat until her gaze landed on me.

"I'm sorry, Doc ganda, pero si doc poging Torres ang nasa research team. My husband assigned him there and I'm sorry to tell you that you have to join or your internship will be incomplete. You have no choice but to join. 1 week lang naman, at mahalaga ito kasi nga maraming may dengue at ang St. John's Medical Center kasi nagpadala ng 25 doctors. Tayo may 18 doctors." I frowned but accepted deafeat. Ayoko talaga ng nga usapang camping.

I hate camping. Consider me a bad person, but I am not a nature lover.

"Okay. I'm just a mere intern, ano pa nga ba ang magagawa ko? The director already assigned me to go." Nanahimik silang lahat. Alam nilang naiinis ako pero hindi na lang sila nagsalita. Nakatingin si Benedict sa akin at nakangiti siya. I didn't look at him.

"My intention isn't to offend you, Dr. Torres. Kailangan lang talaga." She explained.

"I know, at alam kong nag-volunteer si Anthony pero siya ang pinili sa research kahit ako ang natanggap kahapon. I don't see the sense, pero sige tatanggapin ko. Expect my participation." I remained calm and collected. Ayoko na siyang patulan pa. Dr. Falcon is acting like a b*tch.

"I'm... sorry if you took it that way. Hindi ko balak na insultuhin ka by changing the decision made by the board. Tutulong ka naman." She apologetically said.

"I'm not a bad person to reject this. I have personal reasons, but since it's been made, who am I to turn the tables?" I looked away. Naiiyak ako. Hindi nila ako maiintindihan. I need to smoke. I need to go away. I wanna go to La Union.

"Tama na, Dr. Torres. Hindi mo ikamamatay ang 1 week." Biglang sabi pa ni Benedict. Dr. Cruz stood up and was about to calm me down. I just kept ny head in its original position. I am not blinking nor looking at someone.

"Okay... I'm sorry Dr. Torres. Dismissed." Umalis na si Dr. Falcon. I ran to get out of the lecture room. I went to the emergency exit.

"Fvck. I don't want to go." Then I cried like the past is haunting me again.

-=-=-=-=-=-=

Benedict invited us over to come along at their family trip. Malayo ang pupuntahan namin at bandang south kami. Excited ang lahat pero hindi ako. I'm leaning on my brother and feeling his comfort. Matagal ko na kasing hindi kinakausap si Benedict at di niya alam ang dahilan. He's too ignorant.

Kagabi, naramdaman ko siyang pumasok sa kwarto ko. He's telling me that I made him lonely. Hindi na raw kami nanunuod ng movies sa kanila at bakit daw hindi na siya pwedeng makitulog sa kwarto ko. He's just acting really crazy and I dont see the point of him asking these questions while knowing he's got Annie Jane.

"Cassandra, may sakit ka ba?" Tanong ni tita Marga. She's sitting beside Annie and Diana while I'm in between Anthony and Benedict, while Earl, Lawrence and Kyke are sitting at the back. Punk ang Grandia nila Benedict.

"Wala po. I'm just really tired." I smiled.

"Pagod ka dahil nagbar kayo nila Amethyst at Janna kagabi. Dapat sa bahay ka na lang natulog at nagmovie marathon na lang tayo. Sama ka ng sama sa nga iyon eh halatang type ka nung kuya ni Janna." Biglang singit pa ni Benedict. I glared at him.

"It's my choice."

"Siguro may boyfriend ka na kaya naman iniiwasan mo na ako kasi nagseselos sa akin ang boyfriend mo. Boyfriend mo na siguro si Timothy. Lagi pa namang tambay sa Bilyaran iyon." I rubbed my kegs dahil nilalamig ako. Benedict removed his jacket and put it over my legs.

"Kung meron man, it's my choice."

"What the actual fvck?!" Nagulat ang lahat sa biglaang pagsigaw ni Benedict. Annie is sleeping at hindi pa rin nagising while Diana is shocked at what she heard. Si kuya naman napatingin kay Benedict

"What is wrong with you? Bakit si Diana at Annie may boyfriends na, ako bawal pa? Hindi mo naman kilala si Timothy kaya don't judge."

"Well hindi namin siya kilala as a good person."

"You... Are such a judgmental bastard. Hindi sa lahat ng oras best friend mo ako. Gusto ko rin magkarelasyon at maramdaman ang pakiramdam ng inaalagaan. I want someone who will make me his top priority. I want him worried over me if I'm sick. I want him to take care of me and love me. Matagal ko na pinag-iisipang sagutin si Timothy and that's why ngayon pa lang sinasabi ko nang may boyfriendako." Anthony approves of him kaya naman okay sa akin. He's such joker and a sweet guy.

"So ngayon, mawawalan ka ng oras sa akin?" He sadly asked. I remained calm at nakita kong sinenyasan na siya ni tita na manahimik. His elbow is resting on my leg.

His hands are trembling with anger.

"Are you a child who needs my attention? Hello! I am the younger one so I can't provide necessary attention for you. You are being an a*s. Stop acting like one." I felt pressure on my leg coming from his elbow. Nakaheadphones si Anthony kaya hindi niya ako naririnig.

"I hate it when you lose time for me..." He whispered on my ear.

I felt tingles on my chest.

We arrived at our destination. It's campinv for a change. All I thought it's going to be okay, but Anthony drowned in the river and almost died.

My twin brother almost died and we never set foot in a place where wildlife and too much water exist. We're no longer fans of camping. I almost lost my other half. Anthony will always be a part of me.

-=-=-=-=-=-=

"Why did they switch our places? I mean I can feel something is wrong." Anthony won't stop talking and he believes this is planned.

"I hate camping and that's my concern. I am not concerned with the research. I hate rural places. I hate Palawan! I hate... water... I hate..." Anthony hugged me and he knows where my fears are coming from. Alam kong alam niya ang pinupunto ko.

"Still about the drowning? You just have to let it go, Cassie. It's for the sick people who can't pay for medications. We just have to forget what's in the past and help people. The only bad thing by going there is Benedict. The bastard is there to piss the hell outta us."

"I know. Sige na, kumain ka na. I need to take a shower and please tell that b*tch in your room to stop moaning very loud or I'll beat the sh*t out of her. Napakawala kasing class ng mga pinipili mo." He just laughed and continued putting rice on his plate.

Fvck it, Benedict. I just have to deal with you. let the games begin, bastard. Malay natin, patay ka na pagbalik natin ng Manila. Malay natin.