Ghost

CHAPTER 12

I heard them saying that I am too lethal. Boys want me and it isn't my fault. Hindi naman ako ang tipo na talagang magfi-feeling kasi pinupuri ang ganda at talino ko.  I think it's more on the confidence I have in myself. Minsan nasasaktan ako kapag sinasabi nilang hanggang ganda lang ako, na kaya ko naman daw landiin ang attending doctors ng FMC.

I can hear them at kasalanan ko bang naiinggit sila? That biatchy nurse is staring at my things. Baka nga pagnakawan pa nila ako dito. Buti na lang joke yung nipa hut na sinasabing tutuluyan namin. We're lucky na magandang hotel room ang nakuha namin ni Dawn. Yes, I am sharing it with Dawn pero walang malisya. He's like Anthony to me at alam kong may problema siya sa babae. Hindi lang talaga niya masabi.

"I hate places like this one." I told Dawn and he just nodded dahil halatang hindi rin siya fan. Buti na lang namove bukas ang pagbisita namin sa isla kasi kailangan pa daw ng bangkang maayos. Damn, I am not a good swimmer.

"I know, atsaka wala na tayong magagawa. Enjoy the place, nasa resort tayo Cassie. Take a dip or go to the spa." He said while unpacking his things. This guys is ridiculously organized for a man of his personality.

"Dawn, para kang si Miss Minchin kung magseryoso sa mga gamit mo ha. Hindi naman si Princess Sarah ang bag mo para pandilatan." Bigla siyang natawa at nahiga sa kama niya. I stared at the view in the window.

"Tigilan mo nga ako Cassandra. I am going through a lot of things. I'm stressed and we only have five months to finish the internship. Parang kelan lang nag-enjoy tayo sa US. I missed the days we were just laid back and free. We're going our separate ways as soon as we take our specialization." Nagsesenti na naman pala siya. I giggled and he just smiled.

Dawn is a handsome version of Filipino guy. He got this tan skin, almond eyes, raven black hair, aristocratic nose and good built plus he's really tall. Women drool over him and they'll think na may gagawin kaming kababalaghan when in reality, nakakapandiri isipin. Kapatid ko na siya just like the others.

"I know how you feel. I get lonely just by imagining we will... all somehow part. Nasanay na akong magkakasama tayo. You all gave me the friendship I never had before I met all of you. I hated my life back then. I... really want to thank you kasi binigyan niyo kami ni Anthony ng kakaibang bond." I teared up and he sat beside me just to pat me in the head.

"Iyakin ka pa rin, Cassie. Kahit naman sa ibang bansa kayo mag-aaral, magkikita pa rin tayo. Don't be sad, kasi nalulungkot ako. Anthony is like my brother and Mark as well. Wala akong kapatid kaya naman masaya ako kasi kasama ko kayo."

"Ikaw kasi! Nagdrama ka! Arrgh! Ikaw naman nagkwento pa!" I sniffed kasi naiiyak ako whenever he's sharing his sad family issues. He has a huge problem with his dad and his mother's gone. They don't get along really well kaya madalas nakikitulog sa amin si Dawn.

"I didn't mean to make you cry, nalungkot lang ako bigla. Matindi na ang emotional attachment ko sa barkada natin. Hindi ko kayo ipagpapalit sa kahit sinong babae. You all complete me and thank you kasi ikaw ang nangulit sa akin dati na sumama sa inyo."

"Ah! Oo nga kasi isnabero kang loko ka!" I giggled when I heard loud knocks on our door. Dawn stood up and checked if who's the one outside, para kasing matatanggal na iyong pinto. Nakita kong parang nabadtrip si Dawn, kasi naman! Nagsesenti kaya kami.

"Dr. Saavedra? Why are banging the door?" He directly asked at mukhang naasar si Benedict sa tinanong ni Dawn. Wala namang dapat ikainis kasi.

Napatayo para malaman ang nangyayari. I dont want them to cause any trouble.

"Maybe because you're banging the doctor." Halatang naoffend si Dawn. I looked at Benedict and his eyes are glued to me.

"Dr. Saavedra, wala kaming ginagawang masama at kung meron man, labas na ang ospital. Walang protocol ang nagsasabing bawal makipagrelasyon sa kapwa intern." Nanlaki ang mata ko sa gulat. Daw really is igniting the monsters inside Benedict's bodice. Benedict's face hardened and his hands turned into fists.

"Okay! Wala kaming ginagawang masama ni Dr. Lorenzo, okay? We're friends at nasa iisang barkada kami. We're not screwing around." Pumagitna ako kala Benedict at Dawn. I felt Dawn tensed because I know how short-tempered he can be. I don't want him to clash with Benedict's demons.

"Change places with other doctors. Wag kayong magsama." Sabi pa ni Benedict.

"Nope, mas komportable ako kay Dawn. He always sleeps at our unit. Sanay na kami sa kanya ni Anthony. He's like our brother. Please spare us the doubts. Wala kaming gagawing masama." Benedict remained looking like a monster while Dawn is calming down. Dawn went inside and I closed the door, leaving Benedict dumbfounded.

"Bastos! May gusto iyon sayo! I promised Anthony to keep you away from men like him and I will. Tangina niya! Arrgh!"

"Dawn, hayaan mo. Let's swim! Tara! Samahan na lang kita maghanap ng chicks. Sige na." I pouted at natawa lang siya.

"Ayoko maghanap ng chicka sa labas. I.. actually have issues with this girl. Basta, wala akong balak makipagkilala sa kahit na sinong babae. Ny world definitely revolves around this woman and she doesn't like me. I'm not as good as this man around her."

"Jealousy is a killer." I replied while removing my sheer long sleeves exposing my crop top.

"Yeah and Dr. Saavedra is ready to kill me. Selos na selos si gago at isa pala siya sa mahabang listahan ng mga lalaking nababaliw sayo. Malas na lang niya, kasi di niya alam na hindi naman ako kasali sa amazing race ng mga manliligaw mo."

I hit him with the pillow and he laughed his a*s out.

-=-=-=-=-=

I wore my signature black bikini and my high-waisted denim shorts. Maaga pa naman kaya naisipan kong maglakad-lakad kasama si Dawn. Women eye him like some kinda meal at natatawa lang siya kasi naaasar ako. He proved me wrong na walang masyadong papansin sa kanya.

"Uh-oh, andyan na si monster doctor." Biglang sabi ni Dawn at nakita kong papalapit si Benedict in his shirtless bodice and black board shorts. Kumapit ako ng mahigpit kay Dawn.

"So, you're here in the beach for naked flirtation." Napaubo si Dawn sa inis kaya naman siniko ko aiya para wag nang patulan si Benedict.

"Yeah and we love getting naked." Dawn pulled me into a hug and wickedly smiled at Benedict. The tension is quite high.

"Oh, so you've seen her naked?" Fvck! Benedict is trying to push Dawn to his limits. I looked at him and he just grinned. I don't know why he loves on making my life a living nightmare.

"I did." Then Dawn kissed me on the head at lalo lang mahi-hysteria dahil parang toro na si Benedict. Naaasar na siya kay Dawn! What should I do?! Hindi pwedeng magkagulo at patay na talaga if Benedict would spill the past we had. Hindi pwedeng malaman nilang lahat. I looked at Benedict at halatang galit na galit na siya while Dawn's arms are getting tighter around me.

"Let's go, baka magkagulo pa." I told Dawn and he suddenly dragged me out of the beach. We went to this cozy restobar and ordered some milkshakes. He just stared at me. I think he's wodering why Benedict is acting crazy. We left Benedict dumbfounded. This is so sick!

"Something's wrong, Cassie. Tell me, matagal na kayong magkakilala at kelan pa? Kakarating lang niya pero may unexplainable connection sa inyo. I'm your friend at dapat sinasabi mo. Mahirap ang magtago." I looked away. He is so damn smart for figuring this one out. Siya lang ang nakahalata.

"Where do I begin? Hindi ko maintindihan ang sarili ko. Dawn, my life was too fvcked up. I had the worst in me. I had demons and I was in the dark path. I was... broken. He happened to be Benedict. He was my everything. One-sided love sh*t and there is more to that..." He offered me tissues and wiped my eyes.

"That guy? Are you serious?"

"Yeah, matagal na namin siyang kakilala ni Anthony. As in matagal na talaga. He was like a brother to us nung nga bata pa lang kami and... Everything is just history. He had a girl and then... poof! I'm broken."

"That a*shole must be sh*tting me. Hindi ka na niya makukuha. Kahit makipagpatayan pa kami ng kapatid mo kasi babading-bading naman si Mark so malamang baka matakot lang iyon." I laughed when he joked about our gay friend.

"I can't tell everything. Not now, but just you'll know, I am not always this red-haired vixen everyone knew. Basta, I'll tell you all in time." I smiled at him and he just nodded. Hindi ko pa kayang sabihin ang lahat-lahat. I will scare them out if I spill the beans.

"It's okay. He wants you back and you're not coming back to him. I'll beat the sh*t out of that bastard kapag lumapit pa sayo. Kaya naman pala badtrip ang twinnie mo sa kanya. I thought he's insecure pero may iba pa lang dahilan."

"Yeah and he's a womanizer for fvck's sake!"

"By the way, bakit nga pala arrow tattoo ang naisipan mo sa likod? Is there any story behind the ink?" He suddenly asked.

"There's always a story behind every bit of ink, Dawn. Alam kong mahirap ipaliwanag pero meron, at malalim."

"Pahinga na tayo, maaga pa tayo bukas." I told him.

-=-=-=-=-=-=

Sa totoo lang, hindi ako sanay magsuot ng crocs pero no choice kasi dapat daw pang amphibian ang sapatos sa medical mission kasi may madadaanang mga tubig. Pakiramdam ko naglalakad ako sa sponge at clay. Ganun ang feeling ko sobrang weird eh wala naman ibang pwedeng mabili, so crocs na lang. Sobrang sakit na ng paa ko kakalakad.

I adjusted ny backpack para mas madaling dalhin. Sobrang bigat naman kasi at nasaakin pa talaga lahat ng fluids! Ramdam ko ang tagaktak ng pawis sa noo ko at abg hirap punasan dahil nakakapit ako body bag ko na laman ang lahat ng mahalagang gamit ko.

"Kaya pa?" Dawn asked.

"Yep!" I smiled at him.

"Stop the fvcking flirtation! Medical mission 'to!" Benedict shouted on top of his lungs at nagtinginan ang lahat ng mga kasama naming doktor. He is looking angrh again at ang aga-aga para mambuwisit. Lintik na 'to grabe kung manggago. Sarap batuhin ng bote ng wilkins na malaki.

"Baliw." Dawn jokingly said at kinuha niya ang plastic sa kaliwang kamay ko na may lamang pagkain para sa mga bata na personal ko talagang dinala kasi alam kong madaming bata sa medical mission.

"Thanks."

"Mahabang lakaran pala 'to, jusmiyo. Hindi handa ang legs ko. Matagal na akong walang work out." Sabi ko kay Dawn dahil hingal na hingal na ako sa kakalakad.

"Konti na lang kasi nakikita ko na ang nga tent para sa nga pasyente."

"Sana nga!" I screamed on too of my lungs at nakita kobg nilingon ako ni Benedict at ngumiti. He never smiles. Imagination ko lang siguro iyon.

"Aray!" Nakita kong natapilok ang nurse na nilalandi ni Benedict at agad naman niya iyong inalalayan. Medical mission pero nakashorts?! Tanginang babae! Malandi talaga. Pero bakit ba ako affected? Maybe I still have bits of feelings for him.

Agad namang niyakap ni Benedict ang babae at binuhat. Wala na ngang dala, tatanga-tanga pa. I held tightly on my bag at hindi ako pwedeng mapagod kasi hindi ako pwedeng magmukhang mahina. I was born strong at hindi pwedeng manghina ako dahil lang sa mahabang lakaran.

"Oh tubig." Inabutan ako no Dawn at nakaupo kami sa isang mahabang kahoy na bangko habang ang iba ay nag-aasikaso ng gamit. Marami daw dengue cases dito kaya naman pala maramkng doctors na galing sa ibang ospital.

"Thanks."

"Nakakaawa ka naman tingnan." Sabi pa ni Dawn.

"Tse!"

Nakita kong tinutulungan ni  Benedict ang babaeng nurse na lagi niyang nilalandi. Ang arte-arte eh tatanga-tanga alam na ngang mabato ang daanan nagsuot ng flat shoes? Tanga talaga. Pasosyal hindi bagay sa mukha.

Then I realized, he is no longer the Benedict I fell in love with noong High school ako. Para akong tangang ngayon lang nakuha na simula nang mabaliw si Benedict kay Annie, nawala na iyong lalaking minahal ko.