Chapter- 26
1749 Words
26. "Why I am afraid of your love?"
"Nidhi why saree?" Roshini exclaimed and gritted.
"Please, Roshan, I need a company," Nidhi begged.
"But Nidhar why are you torturing me, you only meeting your boyfriend I am not?" she scolded her on the phone.
"Sorry Roshan, but you are my only sweet best friend right, please do this one small help for this poor friend of yours," she pleased her in the way that she can't reject.
Unable to reject Roshini too agreed and headed to her room and looked on her wardrobe to pick a one. Her eyes kept drawn to a sandal colored saree.
But she had a hesitation to wear this and to roam before Siddharth's staring. It will be awkward and embarrassing to imagine how he would react.
All these will eventually lead to a throbbing heart and flying butterflies in her stomach.
Oh god, I don't want that anymore, she gasped thinking everything in a minute.
Today while tutoring he didn't came to see her since he is busy with his own work. Roshini didn't yearn to see him like she did before instead she is tired of seeing him all the time. The feeling of love just saturated herself now it badly wants to pour out like a flood...
After that hide and seek game Roshini preferred to abscond in his ambiance.
From his confession, she cleared only one thing that he is strongly having feelings for her. She must have been happy to know that but only the fear dreaded her innocent heart instead of flying over the clouds to realize this.
She is now having a feeling that this love is an inappropriate thing for her. She wanted his love but when it nears her, it is too much to handle. Only the fear and oscillated thoughts clouding over her mind than accepting and enjoying it wholeheartedly. Roshini was developed in that way... She wishes for big things but when the wish comes true without any difficulty her heart questions it, whether it will last long till the end? And now that feeling made Roshini question this entire thing she developed for him.
Out of nowhere, Siddharth turned out to be her first priority nowadays. She is afraid of this, she can't absolutely believe his feelings like her own love.
Totally she ended up in spider web thoughts and stumbled in the same place but Siddharth was reaching out his hand standing in the step of love, now Roshini has to take a decision whether to hold his hand or to walk back to the usual state.
His hand tempting her to hold it and at the same time, it is pressurizing her. She is not like any mere girl who will easily lose herself for this little temptation. Even though she has a tremendous love for him but thinking about whether it will work out perpetually was the main thing she considered before taking another step towards Siddharth.
Thinking about this she laid on her bed and closed her eyes feeling the heaviness on her heart. She felt helpless and her eyes eventually welled with tears.
.
.
.
Next day Roshini got ready for her college perfectly draping her saree on her. She didn't apply any makeup and taking her bag headed out along with her brother who is preparing continuously for NEET exam which is coming in two months.
Nidhi joined her all dressed up in a traditional way, she looked very beautiful and attractive.
"Roshan, you are looking beautiful," Nidhi said before Roshini could say that to her.
"Hey don't lie to persuade me," Roshini blushed smiling.
"I am not lying, god promise Roshan!" she slapped her hand.
"Really? Then I should not be caught in the eyes of Siddharth." She told.
"Why?" Nidhi's question made Roshini to realize that she voiced out her thought.
"No nothing, by the way, you are looking damn beautiful Nidhar, be careful with your boyfriend. He will throw himself on you," she teased.
Nidhi laughed, "He won't then I will beat him."
When they reached their college, they walked to their class and today it is cloudier, thankfully the sweat didn't drench them.
Roshini walked fast than usual and her eyes swirling to know whether anyone watching her, especially Siddharth. All eyes were on them among that Siddharth eyes were not there to her relief.
Nidhi clearly noticed her change in behavior like a sensor. She easily identified there is something wrong in the way she is acting.
Once Roshini went into the classroom, Nidhi asked what is wrong.
"Nothing, I am just feeling awkward. It is the first time I am wearing saree to college right!"
"But I am not seeing any awkwardness here, you are hiding!"
"Nooo!" she told and her other classmates were already staring at them.
Feeling so irritated Roshini remained silent and the classes started to continue as usual. In one class her professor has pointed Roshini why she is wearing saree, is it her birthday today. Roshini denied and smiled stupidly looking Nidhi.
The lunchtime came, Roshini quickly went outside in the flip second before Siddharth went into her class to see her. He was disappointed by her absence and he asked her classmate where she went but the reply 'I don't Know' even more disappointed him.
When he came out, his friends urged him to join for the lunch. So he left with them having a restless emotion.
Where she went?
Is she avoiding me again?
Did I hurt her in any way?
Whether my confession panicked her?
I think she mistook like I am a womanizer.
So many questions didn't allow him to eat properly. He came back to class hoping that she will there. But when he was walking to Roshini's class his professor called to inform about something.
Siddharth listened to that wishing to escape from him soon. But to his dismay, he didn't and gave one work after another. The great drawback of being a bright student is you will become a work machine for your teachers.
When he came out of the staff room, the lunchtime ended and his class started. So he halfheartedly went to attend that than going to Roshini.
In the software technology class, his professor informed about conducting a cultural event in the next month. So he asked Siddharth and his colleagues to organize that. Since there is a committee formed for it, in that Siddharth and two of his classmates and his seniors are there.
So now he got a super chance to go Roshini’s class after the period ends.
He waited for the bell to ring, he doesn't know why he is so excited about seeing her! It felt empty if the ends without her in it.
Though he meets her at home this meeting is what he likes the most.
He entered the class with his other committee members when his eyes couldn't find Roshini he can't take this anymore.
"Where is Roshini, is she didn't come today?" he asked in an authoritative tone to Nidhi who is blankly sitting.
"Ah... She," before she could complete Roshini came into the scene.
Siddharth gazed her up and down, he couldn't come to his sense until someone giggled seeing the lovable scene.
Siddharth then instantly averted his gaze and concentrated on why he came here. Roshini slowly walked to her place and sat looking down. Nidhi beamed brightly noticing this.
Siddharth didn't speak anything and remained silent, only his other friends talked about this event preparation.
Once in a while his eyes drawn to Roshini, she seemed to be very odd by his staring and her poor heart started to throb.
Few minutes before Nidhi and Roshini were planned to leave after the period ends since they don't have classes after that. And Varun already came from Delhi this afternoon, now he is coming to see Nidhi. Roshini has decided to go home to change her saree and then to head to Siddharth's house.
But now Roshini is in doubt whether her plans will work out. Nothing got into her mind of what they are telling.
Then they all of them left, Roshini and Nidhi started to pack their bag.
"Did you fought with him?" Nidhi asked Roshini while they were walking to reach the main entrance.
"No"
"Did he scold you?"
"No"
"Then what happened, why you are avoiding him?"
"Nothing leave it, you go enjoy with your boyfriend. We are normal, okay," she convinced her.
In our heart, there are few things which we don't want to open up to anyone even to our parents, Roshini has decided to Hide about her feelings for Siddharth in that way. She wanted to remain like how she was before. Nidhi is her best friend but she is not Roshini to know about her everything!
Likewise, Nidhi also won't reveal much about her love life to Roshini. It is best to remain this way than being shared.
Nidhi walked fast seeing Varun and Roshini smiled at him, compared to last time he has grown a beard and his face glowed in a happiness to see Nidhi.
They didn't talk much and waved goodbye to Roshini. That time Roshini phone started to ring and It was obviously from Siddharth!
She took the call not avoiding it.
"Where are you now," his tone revealed that he is angry.
"In bus stop...No I am travelling in bus," she lied and bite her lower for giving these confused answers.
"Why you are lying?" he sighed.
"I am at the college entrance, I will wait for you," she told and soon nervous hit her.
Siddharth came within two minutes and stopped his bike abruptly before her. He got down and his gestures terrified Roshini whether he is in the fight. Who can't be then? He is a man too and he will get bored of something that kept throwing him away.
"What happened now? Why you are avoiding me again?" he asked in a threatening tone.
"No, I am not." she told in a fear-filled tone and her eyes reflected that.
Siddharth expression immediately changed to see that.
"Then why..." his words stuck in the throat when he saw the tears on Roshini's eyes.
She can't help than crying, it is so difficult for her to stand in this state, where she is struggling to reveal her feelings and at the same time she is very afraid whether his growing feelings will end because of her stupidity.
She needs his love but she is afraid to take that.
Siddharth couldn't understand what is going on in her mind but in order to clear all these misunderstandings, he needed to know that.
"Roshini, I need to talk with you, shall we?" he asked in a calm way and Roshini nodded her head sniffing her nose.
- Writer
