Paulit-ulit kong ikinurap-kurap ang aking mga mata upang pigilin ang pagpatak ng mga namuong luha. But a tear still managed to escape. Ang sakit sa dibdib ko na pilit kong ibinabaon at itinatago sa matagal na panahon ay muling nabuhay sa pag-agos ng mga alaala. Tila pinipiga ang puso ko sa sakit.
My life completely change after that terrible night.
Ang guro na nakakita sa nangyari ay agad na tinawagan ang aking mga magulang. It's very unusual for my parents to be called in the guidance office so they immediately came rushing to our school. Gusto ko ngang matawa ngayong naalala ko 'yon. My parents don't always have time for me. Busy sila masyado sa trabaho. Ang sabi pa nga ni Daddy, kung hindi para magsabit ng medalya sa pagiging first honor ay huwag ko silang gagambalain. My academic achievements and other awards won't matter not unless I am the only one receiving it. But to my surprise, they both came hurriedly that night.
Pero nagawa akong baligtarin ni Sir Teodoro. He said, I tried to seduced him and I voluntarily offered myself in exchange of a passing grade. Galit na galit si Daddy. Disgusto naman ang nakaguhit sa mukha ni mommy. And all the teachers in that room looked at me like I was the dirtiest person in the world. Like a shitty piece of garbage.
Ni hindi ko magawang mag-angat ng mukha habang pinapagalitan ako ni Daddy sa harap ng mga taong naroon. Tanging pagluha ang nagawa ko.
" Nakakahiya ka, Adrianna! You should be ashamed of yourself! Nang dahil sa bagsak na marka, magagawa mong gamitin ang sarili mong katawan para lang pumasa? Your so stupid! Paano pag nalaman ito ng ibang tao? Mawawalan ng kredibilidad ang pangalan ko! Namin ng mommy mo! Your a disgrace to this family!"
My parents hated me so much ever since that night. Paulit-ulit akong nagsasabi ng totoo. I was the victim and yet, charged as a criminal.
My graduation day came. I did not make it on becoming the school valedictorian. Nakuha ni Britney nag titulo. Nagtataka ang mga kaklase ko pero nanatiling tikom ang bibig ko. Maging ang mga matalik kong kaibigan ay gustong malaman ang nangyari kung bakit hindi ako ang may pinakamataas na parangal no'ng graduation. Pero pinigilan ako ng magulang ko.
My parents became more manipulative on my life. Pinilit ako ni Dad na dito mag-aral sa London. He wanted me to be a lawyer. To follow his and mom's footstep. Ayokong umalis ng Pilipinas. Dahil nando'n ang buhay ko. Naroon ang mga kaibigan kong tinuturing kong pamilya. Naroon din ang pangarap ko. Pero sa isang iglap nawalang lahat sa akin. My life became a mess that I almost wanted to end it. But no one from my parents and friends even knows. Come to think of it, ngayong isa na akong abogada, pwede kong balikan ang walanghiyang si Sir Teodoro. Pero walang saysay kahit na maipakulong ko pa siya. Dahil higit sa hustisya at paglabas ng katotohanan sa nangyari, hindi na maibabalik ang nakalipas pa. The wrong of the past will never be undone even if I pursue the justice I deserve. Hinding-hindi na magbabago pa ang tingin sa akin ng mga magulang ko. And that's what pains me most.
Humigpit ang hawak ko sa kopitang tangan. f*****g memories! It should all be burried in the past. But here I am, still affected and shedding tears because of it.
I should drink more. I want to get wasted to forget all the bullshits in my life. But a much better idea crossed my mind.
I pick up telephone on the side table and dialed a number. Matapos ang tatlong ring ay sumagot ang nasa kabilang linya.
" I want to see you tonight. Same place," binaba ko na pagkatapos.
I readied myself. Few moments after, I am walking out of my unit with my poker face on and a black attachè case on my one hand.
" Hey! Adrianna! Still stunning as ever," bati sa akin ng isang kakilala pagpasok ko ng club. I did not greet him back. Nanatiling walang emosyon ang aking mukha.
Maingay dahil sa malakas na tugtog. Karamihan ay nagsasayawan sa gitna ng dance floor. Everyone seems to be enjoying the night.
Ang lahat halos ay napapalingon sa akin. May mga estranghero at mayroon ding ilang kakilala. Pero hindi ko sila pinansin. Tuloy-tuloy akong naglakad hanggang sa ikalawang palapag ng club.
I am a regular customer of this club. Aside from the bar and disco, this place have private rooms upstairs where I usually likes to stay. Someone introduced me to this place and this has became a favorite hang up of mine.
Ang malakas na ingay ay naglaho nang makapasok ako sa pakay na silid. The dim light inside the room suddenly brings calmness to my nerves.
I put down the case I am holding on the table. Then I took of my coat and throw it on the couch. Isang itim na leather skirt at tube top ng kaparehong kulay ang nanatiling suot ko.
I open the case and took out the braided whip made from leather.
I glance on the side of my shoulder when I heard the door open behind me.
" Good evening, my mistress," I seductively smiled upon hearing his baritone voice.
I turned around and saw him standing few inches away from me.
" Good evening, my slave," I whispered with a hint of authority in my voice.
" You summoned me."
Pinaglandas ko ang dulo ng maliit na latigong hawak ko sa kanyang dibdib.
" Yes. I need to release my tension. Are you willing to take it all for me?"
Gumuhit ang pangamba sa mata nito at sunod-sunod na napalunok. I can tell that he's scared but anticipating at the same time on what will I do to him.
Nakaramdam ako ng katuwaan sa nakita kong reaksyon nito.
" Anything for you, my mistress."
His submission is filling me up with excitement.
" Very good, slave. Undress and kneel before me," utos ko rito bago ako naglakad patungo sa couch at prenteng umupo.
Ginawa nito ang inutos ko. Ilang sandali pa ay nakaluhod na ito sa harap ko. Ang maganda nitong pangangatawan at p*********i ay nakabuyangyang sa aking harapan. This man in front of me has a beautiful chiselled chest, perfect abs and well-endowed manhood plus a handsome face. If a woman saw a man in this state, she will surely be aroused. But me, I don't feel any sensuality at all.
I patted him on his head. Tila ito isang maamong tuta na pinaluluguran ang kanyang amo.
I stood up and stand beside him. pinagapang ko ang dulo ng hawak kong latigo sa kanyang likuran. Pagkatapos ay sunod-sunod na pinadapo ko iyon sa kanyang balat.
He grunted with every whip but he never protested. Instead, he looks pleasured by the intense pain.
"Stand," hinihingal na bigkas ko pagkaraan ng ilang saglit.
I grab him on his nape and savagely kissed him on his lips.
"You've been a very good and submissive slave, Arthur. I will surely miss you," I uttered while slowly running my fingers up and down his chest.
Nagsalubong ang kilay nito sa sinabi ko. " Your leaving?"
Pinaglandas ko ang daliri pababa sa kanyang tiyan. " I have to,"
Arthur is my submissive slave and I am his domineering dominant. A virgin dominant. And it is my darkest secret. Usually, after the whipping comes a s****l pleasure. But not for me. Tanging halik ko lang ang kaya kong ipagkaloob. Nothing more, nothing less. Pang-ilan na ba si Arthur sa mga lalaking dumaan sa buhay ko? I lost count of them all. But every man who passed in my life were all willing. They just couldn't resist my charms even if it means breaking their hearts.
"I need to go back to the Philippines."
" Can I go with you?" Napasimangot ako sa tanong nito. Arthur is my favorite among all of my passed submissives. Pero ayoko ng nakikita sa anyo nito ngayon.
"You know that I hate it when someone is being possessive towards me," inis na bumitaw ako rito at kinuha ang coat ko.
"I'm sorry, my mistress. I won't do it again," nagmamakaawa ang boses nito. Isinuot ko ang coat ko.
"Save your sorry for yourself, I'm done with you."
"So that's it? Your done slaving me so now your leaving me?" hinawakan niya ako sa magkabilang balikat. But I instantly stand on my guard and kneed him on his crotch. Napaluhod ito at namilipit sa sakit.
" I did not force you to be submissive to me. You begged for it, remember? You know the rules, Arthur. The moment you start asking questions and raised your voice on me, you already broke it."
"Don't leave me, my mistress. I love you!" saglit akong natigilan. Love? Such a dillusional word. Because if it really exists, why did my parents put me away when I needed them the most? Hindi totoo ang love! Only pathetic people will believe in that like this man weeping before me. Disgusting! Kinuha ko ang attachè case bago walang lingon likod na lumabas ang silid. Narinig ko pa ang pagtawag ni Arthur sa akin pero hindi ko na inintindi pa.
Men are really predictable. Akala nila ay nasa kanila ang kapangyarihan para ariin ang kahit ano maging ang babaeng katulad ko.
Dead wrong. Dahil walang sinuman ang pwedeng magmay-ari sa akin. Men only wanted women because they think they are above us. But in fact, they only want their s****l fantasies be fulfilled by the desires of a woman. But I am an exception. Ipinangako ko na sa sarili na hindi na muling mangyayari ang sinapit ko sa nakalipas. I will never let any man make me feel weak and hopeless again. Dahil ako ang magpaparanas noon sa kanila. No men can ever have their power over me. Because no one can ever dominate me. Instead, I will be the one dominating them.
This is me now. Attorney Adrianna Nicole Oliveira. A notorious criminal defense laywer, a domineering dominant and a heartless temptress.