Rainbow after the Storm (Taglish)

Gone

Sabi ng doktor sa akin noong huling bisita ko ay bilang na lang iyong mga araw ko. Isang buwan na lang, isang buwan na lang at mamamaalam na ako. Napakabilis, na sa sobrang bilis ay hindi ko namalayan na nakaratay na ako dito sa hospital bed habang may luha sa mga mata. Ngayong araw na ito matutupad na iyong matagal kong hiniling na mangyari sa akin.

Natapos ng kay bilis iyong isang buwan. Eto na nga 'yon, mangyayari na.

Everything hurts me, physically, emotionally and mentally. Lahat-lahat masakit. I hope that everything will make sense to me kapag nawala na ako. I hope they'll gonna be happy to see me in the coffin while wearing a white dress.

I hope that instead of seeing them mourning. . . that I can see them satisfied and relieved that I am no longer of thier sight.

Ni isa wala sa kanila ay wala. Hindi ko rin naman kasi pinaalam kasi ayokong makaabala. Ayoko silang mag-alala sa akin at higit sa lahat ayokong kaawaan nila ako.

I can't also afford seeing me hurt this much, panigurado, papalakpak pa iyong ina ko kapag nakita niyang naghihingalo ako. Mag-isa lang ako sa kwarto at ni doktor o nurse ay hindi ko pinayagan na pumasok. Iyon kasi iyong huling habilin ko sa kanila. Nevertheless they can see me through the window.

Ayokong makita nila akong nasa ganitong sitwasyon. Iyong nahihirapan habang iniinda ang sakit ko.

I can't let them hear my cries.

Ang alam lang ng ina ko ay sa isang kaibigan ako umuuwi pero ang totoo niyan ay inihahanda ko lang iyong sarili ko sa possibleng mangyari. Noong nakaraang linggo, ay halos gusto ko na lang tapusin agad iyong buhay ko dahil sa sakit ng ulo ko. Umiiyak na nga ako dahil sa sakit.

"L'la, hintayin mo ako ah," napapikit na lang talaga ako at nahirapang huminga. Iyong mga nurse na naka-asign sa akin ay nagsi-iyakan na sa labas. Iyong doktor naman at umiwas lang ng tingin, naluluha na rin.

Malungkot akong ngumiti sa kanila.

"Mami-miss ko kayo," I mouthed them. Mas lalo naman silang nagsi-iyakan. I tightly close my eyes and endure the pain. Hot tears are streaming down at my face.

I gave myself a weak smile and let God do what he wants. I already surrender to him my soul.

"I wish they will be happy when I'm gone."

* * *

Zorell

My mind went blank while watching her body gave up. I trembled and unable to talk. I can't help but to cry, even if I bit the insides of my check but still, mas lalo lang akong nalugmok. Parang ilog iyong luha ko dahil sa tuloy-tuloy na pag-agos.

With a heavy heart, I decided to call Eman. I know it will broke him a thousand times but it's the right thing to do. . .he deserves to know. While holding my phone and finding his phone number I was shaking. Nanlalabo ang mata ko at wala pa rin akong humpay sa paghikbi.

The nurses keeps on crying. I just didn't thought na mapamahal sila kay Lyrae. Sabagay, mabait naman talaga siya. Her kindness si genuine and it's more painful in our part to see how she endure all the pain.

Tears began to shape on my eyes again.

Many questions built in my head. "Why? Why did she need to experience those? She didn't do anything wrong." I ask myself. Maya-maya ay nag-ring na iyong phone ni Eman. I gripped my phone tightly while waiting him to answer me, kahit na nananakit na iyong lalamunan ko dahil sa pagpipigil.

"Hello?" He said groggily in the other line. I almost break down in front of nurses. Parang hindi ko kasi kayang sabihin sa kaniya. Kinagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi bago lakas loob na magsalita.

"H-hello Eman. . .wala na si Lyrae. S-she's. . .she's dead." Isang nakakabinging katahimikan ang bumalot sa amin. Mas lalo akong kinabahan, because I know that Lyrae is his downfall. All of his life, he didn't wish for anything expensive. All he wants is to find her, and looks like she lost her forever.

"I-its not a good joke. She's not dead, we were just talking last night-"

"Wala na siya Eman! Patay na siya! I saw her ng bawian siya ng buhay! K-kitang-kita ko Eman. . .she already gave up." A loud sob escaped from my lips.

Unti-unti akong napaluhod ngunit bago pa ako masalo ng sahig ay may isang bisig naman ang sumalo sa akin. Just like me, I saw him how sad he is. His eyes are bloodshot and I know na kagagaling niya rin sa pag-iyak. As a doctor, it's also hard for him when he lost his patient. Masakit rin para sa kanila at maging sa aming mga nurse.

I hugged him and cried in his chest. "Bakit? Bakit niya kailangang mamatay?" I said, almost a whisper. He hugged me tightly and I hear a sob escaped from his lips.

"She choose to give up than fighting for her illness because she's already tired. She's tired living this world. She's in deep pain, Zo."

Isang humahangos na Eman ang bumungad sa aming dalawa. We're sitting on the chair in the side while I have a bottle of water in my hand. Nang makita niya ako ay halos saktan na niya ako sa pagka-hawak niya.

"Nasaan si Lyrae?!" He shouted. I feel scared on how he look at me. Mabuti na lang talaga at nandiyan si dok para awatin siya.

"Hey! Easy on her, nasasaktan mo na siya." Eman's hold loosen and starts to tremble. "Nasaan si Lyrae?"

Nevertheless of my hand shaking, I point the room where Lyrae's cold body placed. I saw how he rush to that room. Marahas niyang binuksan ang pinto at nakita ko kung paano siya nanghina at natigilan nang makita ang bangkay ng mahal niya.

Dahan-dahan akong tumayo at nilapitan si Eman. Nakasunod naman sa akin si dok at inalayan ako. We saw how he break down and cried so hard. He cries with so much agonies, pain and hurt.

Napatakip ako ng bibig ko.

"N-no, no, no! Lyrae! Gumising ka! N-no. . .don't do this to me please!" He plead. Hoping that she's will wake up. Hoping that she will open her eyes and came back to life. The room was filled with sad aura. Mas lalong bumigat ang pakiramdam ko ng makita si Eman na niyakap ang malamig na katawan ni Lyrae.

"Lyrae! P-please. . . huwag mo akong iwan!"

A unknown mens appear on our sight rushing. And just like Eman, the two of them stunned. Kagaya ng kung paano nanghina at nasaktan si Eman, lumapit iyong isang lalaki na nakasoot ng black t-shirt sa kanila na umiiyak.

"Lyrae,"

Eman halted his gaze to him. "Why are you here?"

"Bakit, bawal ba? Mayroon bang signage sa labas na bawal akong pumasok?" The tension between the two of them starts to form. I look at Lavin and signal him to stop them but, he didn't even bulge at all, he's just staring at them.

I mentally cursed myself. "Guys, stop," I said. But, they just look at each other. A look that says that they want to kill each other any moment.

They was about to fight when finally, Lavin interrupted. Nakahinga naman ako ng maluwag. "Let's just please respect Lyrae, guys." He interjected. Kumalma naman iyong dalawa at nag-iwasan ng tingin.

"Puwede ko ba kayong maka-usap? Just the four of us in the rooftop. May sasabihin lang kami ni Lavin." The two of them nodded and we headed to the hospital's rooftop.

Nang makarating sa taas ay nakakabinging katahimikan ang bumalot sa amin. I cleared my throat to catch thier attention. I look at Doc. Lavin and inhale deeply.

"Alam kong hindi niyo alam na may sakit si Lyrae. She has a brain tumor ay matagal na niya itong iniinda. She hide her illness just because she doesn't want you both to worry. Nalaman ko na lang na may sakit siya noong nakita ko siyang nagpa-check up dito. She refuse to have a diagnosis, and I know that both knew it already. Well, I just found out this noong may nagsabi rin sa akin," I said and look at them in the eyes. Wala lang silang tugon sa akin. Lavin continued to reveal the truth regarding to her condition and after that ay nagdesisyon kaming iligpit iyong bangkay niya at pumunta sa morgue.

We are heading to Lyrae's house. Nakasakay ako sa kotse ni Lavin. Habang nakasunod naman sa amin iyong kotse nila Eman, Renz at ang purenarya.

Halos lahat naman ng tao ay nawindang ng makitang may kotseng sunod-sunod na pumasok sa iskinita. We stop in the front of thier house at nauna na akong lumabas sa kotse. Sumunod naman sa akin si Eman at Renz at maging si Lavin.

I blew a deep sigh and I was about to call her mother nang iniluwa siya ng pinto at natigilan na makita kami. Without filtering and hesitation, Eman inform her mother that Lyrae already passed away.

"Good evening, ma'am. Uh, we're so sorry to inform you that. . ." Eman look at me and look again at her mother. "T-that Lyrae, your daughter, is already dead."

And for the first time, nakita ko kung paano nanghina at nasaktan ang ina nito. Regrets was evident in her face. Full of questions and tears. I feel so sorry for Lyrae. Because it was too late para makita ng ina niya iyong halaga niya bilang anak, and the sad part is she's already gone forever.

She's already dead.