Milena (COMPLETE)

CHAPTER XIII: Riz-whizz

Year 2009.

Last year, I kept promising myself to be better, to head back on track, but I always end up failing. I wasted my time on partying, booze and s*x. As I celebrated my 20th birthday, I came to realization on my life choices since I graduated from school. I should’ve listened to my parents when they tried to elude me from the wrong crowd. I wanted to bring back the old me. The old me, before falling in love with Azil. I wanted to be stronger and happier. I missed laughing without faking it. I wanted to stop hoping and hurting inside. I wanted to move on.

I heard from a mutual friend, that Azil was happy now and she’s contented without me in her life. So, I started to put genuine effort to move on this time. Maybe after five years, I could totally ditch her out of my system. So, I’ve decided this year, I would take care of myself, and for good this time. No more parties, alcohol, and avoid those who were bad influences on me.

I took one step at a time. I enrolled in gym classes to stay fit. I started a healthy lifestyle. I started eating regularly. Part of this change was to look for a job. In line with my degree, luckily, I got hired as a website developer. My parents initially wanted me to learn and take over our family business in Madrid. But I refused, my life is here in the Philippines.

I started dating again. I entertained both guys and girls. I had two boyfriends and a girlfriend. My relationships with them were all non-committed. The first two guys lasted a month each, while the latter was for two years. The girl’s name is Riz. I tried to be true to her as much as I can. She’s a good person and a friend. She taught me to appreciate again the little joys of life and to be happy again. I told her about Azil. Everything about my past. This may be the reason why we never became official. She knew my heart still belong to someone else.

Riz is an adventurer. She said that people should get out of their comfort zones. On our first date, we went ice skating. I remembered how we held hands and flirted on the skating rink. Our other adventures were skydiving, rock climbing, scuba diving, and hiking. I started to like those kinds of activities. The feeling of the adrenaline rush! The excitement I felt was all new to me. Our bond strengthened after every adventure. We learned to trust and relied on each other for every dangerous step we took.

She encouraged me to spend an hour every day just sitting in a park or taking slow walks or going to museums. We immersed ourselves in the beauty of nature and appreciated the masterpiece of art around us. I started to feel contented and happy again.

But fate put me to a test. One date night, Riz and I were walking with our hands intertwined, when I saw familiar faces walking past us. They were Azil’s group of pretentious friends. My eyes looked for her, quickly searching for her face. But I didn’t find her.

After I went home that night, I received a chat message. It’s from Azil. She told me she saw me earlier, but she hid herself. She didn’t know how to react, so she ran away. She told me that she cannot understand why she still feel irritated and jealous when she saw me holding hands with someone else. And after all these years, she still wanted me to be unavailable for others because I’m still hers. She’s asking me to not get serious with Riz, and that she’ll do anything to steal me from Riz. She’s making me laugh! I’m not hers anymore!

I replied, “You don’t have the right to own me. I’ll be with whoever I wanted to be with! I’m not meddling with your affairs so don’t meddle with mine!”

We exchanged more messages arguing with each other. She insisted on making my life miserable if I continued dating anybody but her. I blocked her account and for the first time in my life, I didn’t want her to ruin my relationship, to ruin the special bond I found with Riz. She should not intervene with my personal affairs! I never believe that she still want me. Azil was just good with her words, never in her actions.

Year 2011.

Two years passed, Riz and I didn’t become official, but we remained good friends. We felt that we are better off as friends. She always teased me, making s****l advances, but I always laughed it off. I avoided s****l intimacy between us. We held hands and hugged each other but nothing more than that. We went on dates, but it’s more like a friendly one. I didn’t remember making effort to set a romantic date for us, but we still made wonderful memories together. We’re not a couple but we shared the same passion. We enjoyed exploring and trying different outdoor activities.

Year 2015.

After four more years of adventures together, Riz said goodbye to me. Her family decided to migrate permanently to Abu Dhabi. We cried as we hugged each other at the airport, looking like sisters being separated from each other. She became one of the people I learned to cherish and respect, I promised her to keep in touch and to visit her when I got a chance.