Journey

Talking Probability

"Hello Dr-" your abruptly cut of by Dr. Green.

Dr. Green instructs, " Oh, please just call me Cassidy. We are so past the formalities. I am so glad you could make it. Let us get right down to business."

"Well yes it is nice to see you again to. Oh, my family, they're pretty good. Now you want to see my application, WHAT?!" I say mostly in sarcasm.

Cassidy says, "Oh we have missed you and your personality around the clinic. I know what you're thinking and don't ask the whole which one more, my personality or me question. By the way, there is also no need to show me your application because I took the liberty of correcting it,  and getting multiple doctors and professors to sign off on it for you. Currently you my dear are waiting on the mail rather than this appointment. "

I am sitting there in her office of many achievements speechless. Eventually after a couple minutes I stumble out, "T-thank y-you. I-I can't b-believe this."

She says, "For you I would move mountains. Don't be a stranger, but I am late for rounds. See you hopefully at Harvard were I teach and... do stuff. Later."

Cassidy walks toward the door and opens it, letting me exit a little shaky then her right after.

Thoughts race through my head as I head to text Es.

The text goes something like:

Hey Es can you, if you feel up to it pay the bills because I am running later than I thought due to traffic. And I gotto go run to Book's and Coffee to work.

Sure. She rapidly answered.

After I pull out of the clinic and start heading downtown.

Me and my thoughts are never a good combination. What am I going to do? I do not want to go back east and leave everything I know here with, my friends. Nor, do I want to tell Cam and Es any of this. It is not fair, because I hate having my whole life be about responsibility and stepping up to a plate that isn't mine to step up onto. However, they are going to literally kill me if I do not let them know. So, I got to call Cam and talk this out while I am driving so I Cam have some clarity.

At the red light I am stuck at no later than 5 minutes of leaving the clinic, I find Cam's number and dial it. I hook the call onto my car that way I do not have the phone to hold onto. She picks up on the third ring.

"Thank goodness it is you I was under intense amounts of stress, how do you feel about a jog and then lunch at Jane's during break?" She babbles out.

I reply, "Sure, but I got an immediate problem to seek advice for if you have got time?"

She pauses for a minutes types and says, "I can make time, what is it?"

I reply in a nervous rant, "Well... so your already know how I have been applying to Ivy League online college. On the flip side, what you don't know is I have also applied to go there in person. My mom has MS, google it, and I need to be there and I don't want to. I would rather stay here. However I might have to go east and permanently deal with family drama..."

Cam interrupts, "Slow down a little, I think I got most of the important parts. I think you can still go online and we can bring your mom back with us when we visit. I definitely know we can brainstorm and figure this out. As a team!!"

I add, "That is so cheesy, hold on let me pull the scene up on my phone from the rom-com that came from."

"Look I can't help it if you're jealous over my originality. Hey, I have to go incoming...Of coarse so you might be interested in hosting our brochures, Uh huh. I am going to have to get back to you my boss needs something please call back soon." Cam then abruptly hangs up.

I am at least semi-at-peace with this, so it is time to blast the music to drown out my thoughts. 

Sometime later I find myself zoning out at work, so i decide to tell Joe I need to take my break. I mean there is nothing that says, "I could not care less" than me staring aimlessly at I don't even know where. As I exit Jane's, I swing the door open blindly and hit some stranger right in the face. The stranger then tumbles back onto the pavement and I rush forward to make sure he is okay. Maybe I should just steer clear of doors from now on.

First I check for his responsiveness by shouting, "Sir! Sir! Can you hear me?"

The handsome stranger then opens his eyes with a start and replies, "Yes!"

I follow up with, "I am so sorry, I am just such a klutz and it did not help that I was in such a daze. How are your feeling?"

He answers, "Well I have been both better and worse."

I plead, "I really am sorry, I am Cordelia by the way. Is there anything I could do for you? Maybe coffee, my treat?"

He responds, "I am going to have to take a rain check on that, here is my business card. Right now I am late for a meeting. Call me sometime though. Oh, and I am Gilbert."

I just stand there dumbfounded as all of his figure stands up, hands me a card, and walk away leaving me kneeling on the ground. I mean there is nothing like running into six feet and probably two inches of dreaminess. I mean who could formulate anything non-stupid looking into his blue eyes with flicks of brown and green. Not to mention he certainly has not let himself go, I mean he is definitely a runner. What is it with me finding all the runners or soccer players in life, literally everywhere?

This is how Cam finds me kneeling in my uniform holding a card, pondering something. I snap out of it when she stand me up and gives me a "What happened to you?" look. With my face still working against me I stay a little confused for a few seconds before fully coming to.

After I explain the situation, and she mocks me mercilessly, we decide to skip the jog and just go for a healthier than planned on lunch. We head to Book's and Coffee. It is there we dish the dirt on all the "fun" adulting stuff we have been up to, avoiding the totally cute mystery man, Rae and Zay who we now recognize, and my mid-life crisis. What a good "fix-my-life" meeting, right?

"So I hate to be the bearer of bad news but in our five minute time limit left, we should pick a topic. I will list them for you to choose. We have got the mysterious people we have not seen since 7th grade, the mystery man or your mid-life crisis? What will it be CG?" Cam prompts.

"Really, CG, I mean that is new."

She gives me the stop trying to change the topic look. So I decide for the sake of keeping my head and my friend's happiness I stay on topic.

"You know I am indecisive. However, I feel we should talk about my crisis with Es because she'll kill me if not as well as Rae and Zay." I say.

"Perfect, you know I love snooping in on these things. You know a free, real-life romantic comedy. So tell me about the guy, and what you are planning to do. Do you still have the notebook were we planned are dream weddings and everything? Is this guy drool worthy? You have got to tell me." She says getting slightly side-tracked.

"Slow down there you Curious Cat. I only just nearly gave him a traumatic brain injury, you know a TBI. Don't worry there is a but. On the flip side, he gave me his business card to get in contact with him..." I say which refocuses her from doing whatever on her phone.

"And here is where I add in the "On the flip side" for you. On the other, other hand your nervous about contacting him, I mean do you want a friendship? A pity apology brunch? Wait hold on, I almost forgot to mention that...you are totally overthinking this. Here I just googled him for you while you were ranting and he is not horrible looking." She goes on and I make all the hurt sarcastic faces that she just ignores. What else is new? This is what happens when you have been friends with someone for way too long.

"Alright I have to head out I have work to attend to, and so do you. Oh, and FYI I know you are doing nothing tonight so I invited Es, you, Rae and I to the other café after work. Bye." I quickly state as I drop the money for lunch on the table and march our of the facility.

Cam yells something at me but I am already crossing the street. I knew it was best to jsut spring that one on her before she just magically comes home with "other plans." I soon arrive at work and begin doing just that just a little less distracted.

Finally it is closing time, I thought that eight o'clock would never come. I hurriedly leave so I do not have to close up shop, and hop in the car to head to Jane's. Once there I meet Thing 1 (Cam) and Thing 2 (Es), plus the new oldie. I mean we all totally need to catch up, but has it been to long? Have we all slightly grown apart from her since the 7th grade? I mean it a has been a little while. And this is what is racing through my head as I walk into Jane's, and sit at a table with strange people at it. I examine them closely as they give me a dirty stare and both recognition and embarrassment strike me. I have just interrupted a conversation they, Zay and Gilbert, were having. Smooth move there, smooth move.

"Oops wrong table." I timidly say as I begin to get up and leave.

However, a warm hand reaches out and touches my forearm and says as I was just turning away, "No, you don't have to go. The substance of this conversation left long ago. Please, sit. Join us and add some humility to this conversation."

I turn around so fast to discover the owner to the hand is Zay.

"I mean, I think that after our last conversation we need to have a do over. Hello, my name is Zay Pullock. I am the owner and co-founder of Engineering Entrepreneurial Technology, also known as the EET." Zay says, and then not so subtly kicks Gilbert underneath the table.

Gilbert then gives Zay an arguing, yet questioning look. After about two minutes when I am about to make my great escape, Gilbert clears his throat and starts to speak as I mutter under my breath, "Damn, not fast enough!"

Gilbert hears some of this and then replies, "What?"

I follow up with, "Hmmn, what? I mean nothing just, uhh, clearing my throat. You were saying..."

He answers giving me an intense stare and a challenging expression, "Umm sure. My name is Gilbert Birkinshire, also co-founder of EET, but I also have finished medical residency and have advanced to owning multiple hospitals across the country."

Zay budds in, "Oh how funny, Miss No Name over here is well on her way to becoming a neurosurgeon."

Gilbert looks up at me in shock and ultimately utter disbelief. He just sits there with a puzzled look like, Really you of all people. While he sits there Zay shoots me a look like introduce yourself you coward.

"Well, umm hello. I am Cordelia Desiree. I am a med-student..." I say, just looking for words.

"Hello, Cordelia. " The two men say in unison, Zay over enthusiastically and  Gilbert begrudgingly.

"Well the reason I am here is because I am an alcoholic..." I sarcastically remark, but they bewilderingly interrupt me with their shocked faces.

So I decide to continue before they give me the whole WHAT and then I go huh and forget what we were talking about completely. I have had enough of the male gender dominate this conversation, so I further add, "I was making a joke because this conversation turned into a forced consult during an AA meeting. In case you guys are yet again clueless, it means..." yet again interrupted. 

Gilbert intrudes on my feminist ways with, "I know what it means, don't be all hoity toity..."

Then I cut him off for good measure and say, "Well if you are all smart and dignified and know everything, maybe you skipped out on common decency and manners. Cutting a person of rude, cutting me off double rude. I mean who do you take me for, because let me make it so noticeably clear the whole world can not miss it; I will absolutely not be walked all over by you. It may work with others but not me so drop it and just be real an honest with me, please and thank you. Now since you guys will finally give me the right kind of attention, I must dismiss myself. Have a lovely evening." Throughout my self righteous proclamation there are many of times he tries to object. But I talk louder and right over him, no more Mrs. Nice Guy. I mean what is it with people these days. 

I then leave the protesting men who I just ignore and join my friends finally.

I start off with, "Hello, nice to see you ole friends, and btws thanks for the rescue mission. The effort always there and appreciated."