TRUE STORY: THE DEMONS WITHIN

hello again I want to thank you for taking the time and reading my book this book is based on my real life everything I talk about here has happened to me the reason why I'm doing it is because if I can at least have one person not to use then that's a blessing in itself. I would love to know your opinions about the book and it is going to be an ongoing so I hope you guys enjoy and I hope you guys understand it is okay to say no because just saying yes and taking that one hit will end up costing you Way more than someone making fun of you. so if nobody told you today you are a blessing, you are loved, you are meant to be here in this world, so please never give up and please never use Yes it does take it away for a minute but it will always come back and it doesn't just come back it comes back times 10 so I know if you don't want to deal with it now do you really think you want to do with it 10 times. I'm 40 years old I am homeless I live in a park I have four kids two of them live in Arizona with their dad and two of them are with my mom and dad and my family is normies meaning they don't use they don't really do anything and I always asked why me why was I chosen to be the one to use I don't know I asked that to God everyday and gave up on hope a long time ago but just recently God came to me and made me understand that whatever is brought to me I can handle he will never throw anything at me that I can't and if I think I can't all I have to do is ask for guidance and help and he will be there within seconds so never give up on yourself and if you can't do it for you do it for someone else because honestly if you leave this world if you get so depressed that you give up it's not just you that's going to hurt it's going to be your family it's going to be your friends anyone that cares about you but you'll be over it because you'll be on to the next life they will have to think of you everyday, so I've seen a lot of things and a lot of people in my life a lot of things I can't even talk about on here just know that I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, when you are on drugs you're around a lot of people that steal that lie that cheat that hurt others that use others that are manipulators that are people that play on people's emotions and feelings, people play with people's minds, there are people that will break you down just to mold you up the way they want, they're murders, there are people that will set you up, there are people that will play with your head even for years like it's a game, there are people that will switch your words around and turn it around on you when you catch him in the lie, there's so many people out there that do so much and no I'm not saying that this is the only people that do it are the people that are in drugs because that is not true but what I am saying is that this is what I have encountered when im using and when you use people like that will feed on it because it is easier to get to your mind state, drugs are mine altering they make you feel like you understand why you're doing what you're doing and it's a good idea at the time but at the end of the day most the time you are doing something stupid and you're always asking yourself why you did it after the fact when you sober up. and if you tried to stop witch I have done before and ended up using again relapsed is part of the recovery to be honest why I don't know and why I have to have that word I hate so much addict by my name for the rest of my life because I will always fight everyday but when you are young and didn't know how to deal with feelings so then that's how you dealt with your feelings for so long you really don't know what to do without that but the drugs out here these days don't do nothing but make you feel it more to be honest, so that being said I will say it over and over and over again if you have not used and someone tries to offer it to you do not take that first hit because I thought it was only going to be one hit too and that was when I was 15. I have been around a lot of people that have told me they wanted to try it, just to see the feeling and I'm not going to lie a lot of addicts out there will let you do that. I will never be able to accept that I had somebody take their first hit so again say no to drugs, okay so now i feel like I've been talking too much so now it is time to start my book this is where it started and why it started. I had no one to talk to back then that's why I started but just know there's numbers out there and there's people out there to talk to just don't feel like we need to alter your mind to deal because it will be there when you come down and worse.