A sound beyond the line

HILLARY I can do this. Not for myself, but for Mum. I have to. I'm not going to give up. I can do it. Fighting! I kept chanting the word in my head like a tiny, useless mantra. Let me introduce myself. Hi, I'm Hillary Woods. I'm the adopted daughter of Natasha and Brent Woods. I'm twenty-two now, but I was adopted at the age of eight, and I can't remember anything before then. My mum is wonderful, and my dad is... fine. I can't talk. I'm not mute, though. My doctor explained that it's psychological, a functional aphonia. She insists I'll be able to get my voice back, and I've been trying. I'm an introvert, and I don't have friends. Nobody wants to make friends with a person who can't speak. I should also tell you this—I think you need to know—I'm very… insecure. I'm finally going to college after avoiding it for so long. I've done countless online courses, but Mum made me promise to go to a physical campus, get a degree, and—her big hope—meet new people. I really don't want to go. And today is the day I start. I've been standing outside my faculty building for more than ten minutes. I’m trying not to count, but I'm a wreck of nerves, and me being nervous equals total disaster. "You're standing in the way, move, girl!" a voice snapped from behind me. I tried to step aside quickly and, of course, I tripped. I slammed my hands on the pavement to catch myself. What is wrong with me? I looked up to see a group of perfectly put-together girls just walking past, acting like I wasn’t humiliating myself on the floor. "Are you okay?" Am I seeing double? Why is there a man who looks like he walked right out of a magazine staring at me? I know I have a lot of issues, but I don't hallucinate, and he’s still standing there. He must actually be real. Jesus Christ, I've been staring at him. He was smiling at me. God, please come down and take me now. "Excuse me, are you fine?" I gave a short, jerky nod, still sprawled on the floor. He held out his hand. I grabbed it and used the leverage to pull myself up, then quickly dusted myself off, avoiding his eyes. "I'm Jason. You are...?" I simply stared at him, offered a small bow to silently say thank you, and turned around to walk inside the building. That was totally normal. It was. It was not a bad start to the first day. I expected worse, though I don’t know why. Finally, after twenty minutes of searching, I found the lecture theatre. I slipped in through the back door. A few people turned their heads, but after a second or two, they went back to what they were doing. I needed to sit somewhere I wouldn’t attract attention. I turned to look around, and wait—isn't that Jake... no, Jace... ummm... Jason? What is he doing here? Thank God his face was buried in his phone. I needed to find a seat quickly. I decided on the very back row where no one would notice me. I placed my bag on a table and sat down. A guy with blonde hair turned around. "Hi, I'm Chase. You look cute." Uuuhhh. Does this guy say that to every girl he meets for the first time? Wait, what am I supposed to say? He’s waiting for a response. I quickly opened my bag, pulled out my writing pad, and scribbled Thank you on it. I held it up for him to read. "Uhhhh, are you mute? ...That sounds rude, I'm sorry." I shook my head, but he just raised an eyebrow, clearly confused, so I decided to write again. I'm not mute. "So you don't want to talk to me, right?" What is he trying to do? I can't talk. I wrote the short sentence, hoping it would be enough. "You're not mute and you can't talk. How does that work? Make it make sense." Medical problem. I gave the vague answer I always use, and I was grateful when he decided to drop the topic. "Wait, I didn't get your name." He pursued another angle. Hillary. "You just made yourself a friend, Hillary." I tilted my head in amusement. It felt surprisingly nice to hear someone call himself my friend. "So, Brownie..." Did he just call me Brownie? "Yes, I just called you Brownie. You have big brown eyes, hence the name Brownie." I didn't say anything. I wrote on my notepad. "You didn't say anything, but your face did. Brownie sounds nice. The lecture starts in two minutes, so I’m going to tell you all about myself after the class. Don't run away, okay?" I stared at him and nodded. "Good. Talk to you later, Brownie. But Brownie, do you like brownies?" He looked at me with a genuinely odd expression. What was that question? "Do you?" I nodded. "See? The name fits perfectly!" He smiled brilliantly and turned to face the front. Okay, so the day was not going as badly as I thought. I made a friend. That's a good thing, right? But what if he was just joking? Who wants to be friends with someone who can't talk? My brain cells decided to start arguing about the fact that I had a new friend, and I didn't even know what to think about Chase. The professor entered and introduced herself, but for some reason, I kept zoning out. My eyes drifted to Jason, who looked utterly tortured just sitting there. Is he even listening? What’s it to me? At least I wasn't the only one not paying attention. "The girl at the back, answer the question." My heart rocketed out of my chest. I hate being called out in public. I looked up slowly. "Professor Woods, can I answer the question?" Chase was a life saver. "I don't appreciate it when students fail to listen in my class. Next time you don't want to listen, don't bother coming. You may answer, young man." Arghhh. I just wanted to crawl under my table, but I deserved that dressing-down for zoning out. Twenty minutes later, and the class was finally over. I felt sure Professor Woods was going to remember me forever as the student who doesn't listen. Urghh. "Yo, Brownie, why didn't you tell her you can't talk? That would have gotten you out of trouble." I picked up my pen and opened my notepad. Am I supposed to announce to everyone that I have issues? "The girl's got a sarcastic side. I like it." I'm sitting right here. "And I'm still going to say it because I'm your only friend. By the way, do you know the guy sitting in the corner? He's been staring at you since forever." I turned to see Jason looking our way. He gave a small wave, and I nodded back. "Do you know him, Brownie?" Chase asked, intrigued. I nodded. "I need details. How do you know such a hot guy?" Chase jumped up and sat on my table, facing me. Can't I know someone hot? I scribbled. "You know that's not what I mean." Hold on, remind me why I'm talking to a guy I met today who decided he’s my friend in just a few minutes, and... "I see the wheels turning. Stop overthinking and just answer the question, Brownie." I decided to just accept that he was my friend because he said so. Does that even make sense? I met him at the entrance of the faculty building earlier. "I'm not accepting half a story. I want the full one." This friend was definitely going to be a lot. Wait, did I just think of him as a friend? Wow. I fell. He helped me up. That's it. "I'm not accepting that, either, but I'm going to drop the topic for now because I have another class in approximately five minutes. Where and when is your next class?" I showed him my schedule. "Let's go. I'll keep you company. My next class is on the way." I glanced back at the corner; Jason was missing. I got up, and Chase walked with me to my next class. After that one was over, I went straight home.