The Servant

The rain falling mimicked my tears. I thought I had stopped crying about my life. “Just accept it and move on,” that was everyone’s favorite piece of advice. At least it was what I had been told from my first day here to now. If I had known this would happen to me, I would have jumped off the waterfall with the rest of them. I had been too scared, who wouldn’t be? After all, it was at least a hundred fifty feet to the surface of the lake below. All of the others jumped. They were much braver than I. Even those who couldn’t swim jumped. That day I lost more than just a few friends. I sighed thinking about that horrible time. Ten long years had passed. Sometimes, it felt like a thousand years, sometimes it felt like none. Rainy days brought it all back. The raindrops are crying for me. I guess I was kind of a chicken, but I was also the youngest. I didn’t understand then what I know now. Some of them made it. I watched them climb on the bank and take off into the trees. Some of the others I didn’t see. I just watched for a while. I heard a noise coming up behind me. I knew I had been caught. Someone had grabbed me. I kicked and screamed, clawed, and a bit but the arms carrying me were too strong. I knew I was trapped but I would at least put up a fight. There had been rumors this was coming but there were always rumors. Maybe if we had known, we would have tried to plan. I don’t know what we could have done. These captors were much faster and stronger than us. I doubt we would have stood a chance even if we had been given a year to plan. We had had maybe ten minutes when we realized they were coming. I knew they would be coming for us, but I had hoped I would have had more time. Eventually, we reached their destination. I couldn’t say my destination because I did not want to be here. I shook my head trying to make the memories go away. I finally finished my morning chores. I grumbled when Mary Ellen asked me what my plans were. I am a servant; I don’t get to make plans. The anniversary of my capture was today. I was allowed to go with the small group to lay flowers at the waterfall for those who weren’t as lucky as me. The group was made up of me, Mary Ellen, Christa, and Daniel. We became servants around the same time. I was the only one captured at the waterfall. I can’t say I was happy here but, I guess it’s better than being dead. I was only seven when I was caught. I am now seventeen; I will be eighteen in a week. When the day ended, the four of us made our way to the waterfall. I had brought a bouquet of wildflowers I picked earlier. I sniffed them imagining what it would be like to be a wildflower. I suppose it wouldn’t make a difference, wildflowers were cut down too, forced to serve a master before being tossed away when their usefulness ends. We walked through the woods on the winding trail I had been carried down so many years ago. When we finally reached the waterfall, I looked around, I don’t know what I was looking for. I guess I was looking for memories of the good times we had spent together before they came. I couldn’t find them. After a while, I started walking back. No point in dwelling on the past, I guess. Mary Ellen caught up to me. “Alana, why are you leaving?” she asked, grabbing my shoulder. “I don’t want to dwell in the past, maybe I didn’t jump, but they didn’t come back for me either.” I had been thinking about it more and more, we were supposed to be a family, but they didn’t come back. “Alana, you know why they didn’t come back. You were all kids. Not a single one was an adult.” She watched my face hoping I would agree. I huffed. “I know, we were all orphans too. Our parents? Gone, our families? Gone. Who did we have? Each other. We had each other, but when it all crashed down, it was made clear, everyone for themselves.” I turned around and looking over her shoulder, I could see a clear path to the waterfall. I sidestepped before I took off full speed. I got to the edge, pushing off with my foot, I cleared the wall, and I soared out over the water. For a second it felt like I could fly. When gravity grabbed me pulling me down to the surface, I pulled my knees in. “Cannonball!” I shouted! The cold water welcomed me as I sank below the surface. The cold wrapped its fingers around me, threatening to hold me under. I kicked pushing myself up. When I broke the surface, I could see Christa, Mary Ellen, and Daniel looking down from the top of the waterfall. “Really? Again?” Daniel yelled from above. I smiled up at him, “Try it! You don’t know what you’re missing!” I yelled. I swam around for a bit enjoying the freedom I had in the water. The way its smooth, cool wetness flowed over my body; it was like the ultimate feeling of freedom. I climbed out when the last light of the day disappeared behind the night sky. We walked back in the dark. None of us spoke, our thoughts occupying too much room. My three companions went into our little hut. It wasn’t bad, we each had a corner with a cot, a blanket, and a pillow. We had clothes but they were stained and tattered. We are servants after all. I sat on the step outside for a while. I didn’t want to live this life anymore. I wanted to run; I wanted to feel the wind as it whipped around me. I leaned forward resting my chest against my knees as I picked up a stray petal from the wildflowers. Poor little petal, your life is over too. I crumpled it before holding my palm out letting the breeze blow it away. I watched it as it twisted and turned through the air. It floated up over the fence. “Goodbye little petal,” I whispered as it continued its journey alone. I stretched before standing up. As I opened the door, I heard them talking., I paused. “I know, she is going to be in trouble if she gets any prettier.” Daniel’s voice said. “The master has already noticed her. If she doesn’t start staying out of his sight, we won’t be able to keep him from taking her away.” Mary Ellen sounded worried. “What can we do? We are all servants too. If we stick our necks out trying to help her, we may lose our heads.” Christa spoke up in her normal Christa way. I listened as they discussed my life. Why? Why does everyone want to control my life? I sighed before I pulled the door closed. I didn’t want to be in there, I was tired of all the chatter. The master will notice this, the master will notice that. I don’t care. He isn’t going to notice anything he hasn’t already. I climbed up the rope into my favorite spot. It was an old hay loft that had been used before the new barn was built. This one was left alone to rot. Nobody ever came in here. They were afraid the place would collapse. Besides the Oak tree, this is where I am happiest. I curled up in the bed of old hay. I loved it in here. I used to come in here when I was a kid. I would pretend I was a princess trapped by an evil king. As I got older, I started to pretend I was a warrior, I would take my sword, it was really just a stick, and I would slay the evil king. The villagers would rejoice as I became their queen. I ruled with equality and love. I felt a lone tear trickle down my cheek before I wiped it away. I awoke with the sun. Its rays called to me as a new day began. I stretched; I had slept better in my hayloft than I did anywhere else; I always did. Judging by the sun, I had an hour before breakfast would be ready. We ate before the others woke up. We had to do our chores and the staff inside had to have the Master’s breakfast ready at exactly eight am. If it was late, everyone paid the price. I had never been hit or beaten during my time here. I knew a few others had but it was only done as a last resort. I climbed down; I could hear Mary Ellen calling my name. Great, I didn’t want them to know I hid in here. I snuck around to the broken wall on the other side. I moved the board just enough to sneak by. I crept around to the opposite side from Mary Ellen. I casually Stretched as I came around the corner. “Alana? Where have you been? You never came home last night! You could have been hurt or killed!” Mary Ellen had made herself my surrogate mother many years ago. I was old enough to take care of myself but, I know she only worried out of love. “I’m sorry. I must have fallen asleep in the alley again.” I knew I shouldn’t lie to her, but I needed my space from everyone sometimes. “Well hurry up, girl. We will all be in trouble if we are late.” She was always so mothering. I followed her into the servant’s hall. Most of the others were there. It was the place where the servants ate all our meals. I didn’t like feeling as though I wasn’t good enough to eat with the Master. I probably wouldn’t like him anyway. I imagine he is very stuck up and rude. He probably got enjoyment watching us work. I just know he would be terrible. I bet a slug would be more sociable than him. I have been here for ten years, ten years! Yet, I have never once spoken to him, I rarely saw him either. Sometimes, I thought he was imaginary, or maybe he was dead, and nobody knew so we just kept doing our work. I didn’t really care, I was never going to be someone he would associate with. I was but a lowly servant, ha! The joke’s on him. I am so much more than that.