IT'S OKAY TO LET GO!!

Everytime "melody by cadmium" is played I go back to the same place where I saw his face that made me realise that love at first sight does exist. It's just the wrong time to reminisce about him when I'm completing my school homework, ain't I too young to be this love stuck? Anyways, school is more about making memories that we cherish forever and of course having fun. I employed myself with these thoughts and stopped writing, I only started working again after that song changed. It's not my fault any girl would have died just to be his "mine", he is that good and when I say "good" I don't really talk about look's I talk about his smile, his way of treating people around, his humble nature. He is the type of boy that parents wish their daughter's had for marriage. Everyone says that I prate about him but what they don't realise is that I love him. Well, I have my school tomorrow and I'm supposed to be submitting this work only then I'll get 5+ in history and it sucks to know that I haven't completed a chapter yet, when I have 4 lengthy chapters to do. Max already submitted his work and why wouldn't he? He's the "Mr Perfect" I was wondering if I can call him to ask about unit test date's. This way I'll at least get to hear his voice but then my mother called me because she wanted to talk with my aunt. I can't deny and now I'll have to roam around her for like half an hour because that's what she does, she'll keep her phone on charging and then ask me to call aunt marie and then talk for hours and I walk around her like a puppet. I asked her to call from her phone because I was completing my work but she yelled back so I'm in the kitchen watching her gossip about all the family members and eating "fried rice". My doorbell rang, mumma was still talking so I opened it. Abby showed up with her book's, two packets of donuts and a stressed face because she hasn't done anything barring the first page. I love her everytime she shows up, she carries donuts with herself. We both love to eat and we eat even more when we're hungry. I believe food is the best remedy for a bad mood. We went into my room, ate those donuts, barely worked and got bored so she asked me to play guitar. I'm always ready for that stuff, but my friends at school are still not aware of it. It's just Abby that I'm comfortable sharing this and all my secret stuff. She asked me if she can record with a little puppy face that I can't say no to, but I made her promise that she'll not share that. I started playing "somebody's me" . I was even singing and she was recording. Little did I know that she was video calling Max at that time because when the song ended I heard him say "woah" for a minute. I thought I'm going mad because I've started hearing from him now but then I saw the smile on Abby's face. "What, whom are you talking with?" I asked with a furious face. Abby~~ "chill it's no one but Max" she said with a regretful smile. Me~ "why did you do that, you know I don't like sharing this" Max~ "chill Silvy I know you don't like sharing your stuff and I respect that it's just when Abby told me you play I couldn't resist, don't get mad please your secret is still safe with me." He said with such a comforting voice that for a minute I forgot I was angry. Me~ "It's okay if you promise so" She ended up the call and I yelled again, " At least inform me before doing all this, just look at me I'm sitting with a bun, this way he'll never feel for me." Abby~ "But, you guys are friends aren't you?" Me ~ "yes, so what he doesn't even look at me in class" I ranted. Abby~ "give it some time, and then tell him what you feel, it's been 6 years now" . Me~ " I know I just don't have the guts, I will someday". Good she said and then my mother called us downstairs for eating "Parathas" It's been two months since she's been learning Indian dishes and I dare say she makes the best parathas in the world. We ate them and then got back to writing or else 'Miss Rosie" will keep us standing out of the class all day and that'll be way too embarrassing for me to stand like that in front of Max. Although he understands that I'm not really good at studying, I still want to make an image in front of him. This is the main reason I don't tell him what I feel because he has all the reasons to reject me. He could date any girl he wants but he doesn't because he's focused on his studies and football and I'm nothing but a mess. I don't like studying, I don't like playing outdoor games. All I love is to sit and play guitar, write poem's, sing songs and continue living a hectic life. I'm nothing but a happy face with a melancholic life. Sometimes I miss my father so badly, I could never meet him because he died 1 month after I was born. Whenever I see children hanging out with their father, I secretly wish that I could feel this bliss as well. But not everyone is lucky. ……….. We got downstairs and my mother was already waiting for us at the table. She's always curious to know how she cooked, which is the cutest thing I find. It was delicious. Maybe we were hungry but it was tasty. Mom~ So Abby are you dating anyone? My mother asked her with a smirk. Abby~ "ahh, no no I'm not, look at me who'll like me?" Mom~ "you're beautiful darling, don't employ yourself pondering stupidity. I often tell Silvy to ask out Max but she's too afraid" Abby~ "yess, she's dumb" And they both burst out laughing. This is what they do all the time, make fun of me in front of me. I finally said "hahaha, can we eat now?" Abby~ Ooh, someone is pissed, are we dead now?" Both of them giggled, including me. My cheeks automatically turn red whenever anyone alludes Max, and my mother always does this to me. Nevermind, we were back to work and completed it by 6'o clock. Tough day at work Abby sighed. "Indeed," I replied. We roamed back to the kitchen to eat something and then Abby left for home. Mom left for the office and I woke up late as usual and rushed to school without having breakfast but I reached on time so it's not a problem. " Oohh goshh , morning can't be this bad" was my first thought in school because I saw Rebecca *bitchhh*. She's always after Max, I wish she looked ugly and was less popular so I don't have to get jealous. Ignoring her, I searched for Abby and went to class choosing the second last seat. We were gossiping when Max entered. I had my eyes stuck on him but Abby tapped my hands so that I didn't look that desperate. Following him came Rebecca, b***h … b***h… b***h… whenever I see her it's the only word I can think of. But wait, woah Max was coming towards me why is he coming here, my stomach had butterflies. Max~ "hey Silvy" What is he really talking to me? Yeah he is okay so my day isn't bad anymore. Me~ "hii Max." I waved and acknowledged him with a smile. He came and sat behind our seats. Max~ "you are so good at playing guitar man." Me~ Thank you but you promised me that you'll keep it a secret so please don't tell anyone. Max~ chill I know you can trust me. He said with a smile. He really looked happy but I was just not comfortable with anyone knowing this, I don't know why but I just didn't want them to know this way, I mean song's are the only way I express myself and I didn't really like people guessing so much about me. I was living my moment when Rebecca came and sat beside him ruining everything. Rebecca~ hey silly, Me~ it's Silvy Rebecca, if you just don't know how to pronounce simple name's. I was furious, I don't really care if she's popular, she just doesn't get to talk like that. Rebecca~ whatever. Saying this she turned her face to Max and I was talking to Abby. She asked Max about hanging out that day. I was hoping that Max would deny but no he had to say yes. Rebecca asked him to meet at the cafeteria near our school. I looked at Abby and she gave me the funny smile which clearly said " good for you " Because, honestly I could never gather enough courage to ask him out. So Abby always used to make fun of this. Miss Rosie came and the first thing she asked was her work, god she's so strict. After that she continued teaching and asked us to take down notes. I wasn't carrying my pens today, I forgot them in a hurry but I was having one in my last chain. Max tapped my shoulder to ask for a pen I guess he forgot to bring too. I gave him the one I had, Abby gave me a stare but I didn't care I could give my life for him. But the worst thing that happened to me was that he passed that pen to Rebecca, it was that b***h who forgot not him. I couldn't even ask for it back, I turned to face Abby again with a puppet face and she gave me her's. I was pissed at Max but he doesn't know what I feel. I think no one will ever understand how I feel, that's why I put them in a paper and sing. School was finally over, Abby stayed back in the Library but I had to reach home early because I've to go to the cafe to look for a job that I applied for. The job was of a part time receptionist but it was okay, at least I will contribute something in the house. My mother runs it alone. On my way back home, I felt a man was following me. When I turned back a man stopped and started checking his phone. I was afraid that he was following me but I kept moving and he kept following.