I'm Not In Love

Chapter Thirteen

Trap

  ...   Everything was so painful. Her laughter and mum's filled my ears,body,my mind and soul. Threatening to devour me, I palmed my ears,to keep it away. But it kept feeling me. I wanted to get out. I needed someone to rescue me.

Some kind of miracle.

   I was screaming for help,but it was barely a whisper. When all of a sudden,a hand pulled me up and dragged me to light....

               "Ha!" I shouted from sleep and jeered up from the bed, breathing heavily as I stared straight ahead of me. As reality hit me that it was only a nightmare, so did hangover hit me like a bull.

        Same nightmare,these women were bound to haunt me for life.

         I held my head and winced. Scott probably heard me shout, because he has already made his way to the bed and was now climbing it, barking,which wasn't much stress for him, seeing as the bed in the cottage wasn't too big or high.

       The cottage?

   Damnit!, I didn't go home last night. Alisa would be calling any minute from now. Something about the endless schedule we would be having today. I wished I could just sleep in today.

        "Are you okay?", Nick questioned,his eyes full of concern,as he knelt down,scrutinizing me all over.

     I shook my head, "I'm not okay"  my voice came out groggy and it sounded weird to even me.

         "Same dream?",he asked me

      "Same nightmare", I corrected him

       And his shoulder slumped

      I was going to meet my doctor today,maybe he would know why it has been recurrent so much these days.

      Scott barked at Nike, "easy boy. Easy",I rubbed his back and he softened at that

            "Stop making noise",That was Nike. He was sleeping awkwardly on the green sofa. He was as wasted as I was.

       We ignored him and Nick went to fetch water from the sink,while I tried standing up, which was more like wobbling until my hand reached a nearby stool for support. I sighed for victory and sat on the stool.

       My head hurts a lot. One would think many years of drinking would make you immune to hangovers but it never worked that way. For me,at least, it never did. I was only in my white top and jeans, I couldn't find my jacket.

      Must have thrown it somewhere in here. Last night was crazy, I kept and drinking as if it would wash away all the stupid emotions I was having. The emotions that we're scaring the s**t out of me. All because of a girl.

      Nike handed me the glass of water and started gathering his stuffs from the floor.

         I drank a mouthful and I didn't think it was gonna work. "I think I'll be needing more than water", I told him.

       He let out an exasperated gasp," what!,I'm not playing wife this morning. And besides there is no grocery in here."

       Ugh,dammnit. It was about time we brought in a refrigerator and some groceries. I couldn't possibly drive home in this condition. Thank God Nike is sane at least, I didn't think he drank too much.

    I just laid my head on the wooden counter as if the warmth it eludes would soothen the pain.

      "How many did you had to drink anyway. You're so wasted", he commented after settling on the green chair.

       We didn't put much of decoration in here. Just some necessary interior to make it look like a bar. The cottage wasn't too big and there were windows in the right places,we put up a big blackboard where we scrawl anything on. Like when we had our first debut five years ago,we wrote a lot. And then Nick and Nike's handwriting dissing Maria for dumping me. A lot of s**t has gone into it.

      We had put in  a stereo , a mix Jockey (Nike actually was a good dj), a standing mic. We practice here most times too,so we basically have a lot of instruments in here. But not groceries,we have beer,we have drinks,water. But no damn groceries.

          "Plus that one under Nick's leg...8" ,I replied him a bit breathlessly,as if I was just processing what he had asked.

         His jaw slackened.

     "That's too much for one night, Trap.", He sighed as if realizing something ," Something happened, didn't it?. Last time you got wasted as this was Maria. So tell me, what is it?"

           Exactly my question what is it?, What is wrong with me?. Why was I getting worked up over a girl. Why was I feeling guilty, that I might  have wronged her . I palmed my face and groaned, I couldn't possibly find a reason. But what I did know was that , that girl was messing with my brain,she was getting to me without me knowing. How pathetic I was.

        "There you go again. Not saying anything", Nike resigned.

     I sighed, I hate it when he was like that. Nike was more sensitive than Nick, he deserved to know the truth.

       " I'm quizzed myself. I don't know,I just needed to get drunk last night".

        The look on his face  told me he doubt that and I just ignored it and drank more water.

       Then a knock came from the door,another again. It felt like cat paws working on a tiled floor, with my head not in it's normalcy. Scott's bark followed as he went to stand by the door.

        "Will y'all shaw-out up?", Nike muffled,and eventually gave up as Scott barked the more at the door. He stood up,holding his head too.

       Nike's like that, but I knew without guessing that he only definitely had  two  or three drinks last night. He was such a lightweight,a disadvantage to his  bad-boy features.

      Nick answered the door, only to see Kate and Anna.

       My eyes opened instinctively. Anna was standing there in the sun's glorious brightness,with her pink hair in a messy bun, little strands coming out of places. She was talking to Nike and her dimples kept pulling in and out as if calling me, as she smiled. She wore a white tank top and pink shorts,carrying a small container in her hand. Those hazel eyes, she was pretty, I couldn't deny her that. But I couldn't say it either.

          I must have missed most of their talks as they entered because they were now looking at me as if I had grown two head.

          "Aren't you eating?",Nike asked me.

        "What?", I asked.

      Then he nudged his head to the counter as if pointing at  it. And I saw there were already porridge in plates on the counter. Nick was already eating and drinking water alongside it.

        "The girl's put so much love in it. It's good",Nick said.

       What difference would it make if I eat it. Would she take it as that we are friends now,and she could talk to me and have even more effect on me. But I didn't want her to think I just hate her on purpose,she was a very friendly person,even smiling at me with how bad I have been treating her.

       I wouldn't eat it, eating it would mean I'd let her in. Letting her in would mean she could break in and leave me with more scars.

        "So you're not eating?. That hangover is sure to kill you,if you don't eat this now", Nick commented between munches of porridge.

      Oh damn  it. I knew that. My head was beating fast but I just couldn't show it. I needed the food.

        Don't think Chris. It's just food. Nothing else– my mind told me .

      I heaved gently,and pushed a plate of porridge to my part of the table. And started eating.

          "He acts like a baby at times", Nick said to the girls and they gently giggled.

       I could see Anna turning shades of red, it was so cute.

         Focus on the food Chris. Focus.

   Scott ran to Anna very ecstatically with a bark and Anna went down to pet him. That was a big surprise to me,Scott never got along with people,he was always scaring the cleaners at my home and even the twins, how come he was being good to Anna.

          "You look good Scott",she cooed to him.

         " You've got to be kidding me" Nike exclaimed." This guy didn't bark at you"

         She giggled, " isn't he sweet"

     It was really a big surprise, that I practically left the food to watch the two of them.

          "He is a flirt.", Nick scoffed. And the girls laughed.

       " I doubt that".Kate retorted all giggly.

      I hadn't really noticed her until she talked.

          "So Scott I heard you're this big celeb's friend. Don't know if you could help me tell him. I don't think he is a bad guy, he just didn't want people to know him,all of him. It's okay, but at the same time,it's okay not to be okay. Bottling it up won't change anything, it only gets worse. If he knows what I mean.", She said to Scott –– or was it to me?. I was pretty sure she was talking to me indirectly. "So he should stop being mad at me, we have all had it rough. It takes a breath to say hi."

          Hi.

    The whole host in me was screaming that,but my mouth couldn't. It was easier said than done. I felt bad for treating her bad. She wasn't all that bad. I only focused on my porridge till I finished it. I wasn't feeling well yet but it was better than before. Probably take some aspirin when I get home.

    Nike broke a cough, more like the tension at the moment and managed some laugh, "I think it is well established that Scott is a dog"

     The girls laughed too, and I think I saw her brush a tear off her eyes. It was too quick that I really wasn't sure she did.

      So Nike and Nick packed the plates to them, thanked them excessively and walked them out.  There and then I lectured myself continually to not think too much about it. She wasn't going to have any effect on me. And I wouldn't let her in. That way nobody gets hurt.

     Scott came to me barking. And for some moment I felt like it was scolding me. And I laughed at it, and rubbed his back, " We'll talk about you flirting later". I said.

        Nick and Nike came in laughing and chuckling, and I scoffed.

       "Traitors"I  muttered

     I stood up and started finding my stuffs , it was then that Nick's phone started to ring. He read the caller's name and faintly gasped.

       "Who?" I mouthed.

    "Alisa",he mouthed back.

     Oh.

      "Hey Alisa, how's it going",he cooed to her.

      I found my white shoes behind the guitar stand. My Rolex inside it. And I mentally laughed at myself.

       " Hey easy, been with my phone all night",he said. I was pretty sure Alisa was yelling.

       " 58 what?!",he half -shouted. And mouthed to us to check our phones.

     My phone,where did I put it. Oh,it was buried under the pillow. So the fifty eight Nick mentioned wasn't fifty eight million dollars but fifty eight missed calls. How could she have called for so much as that. I rolled my eyes,it was just Alisa to call for that much if she couldn't get a hold of us.

        "Uh... My phone was on silent", he lied. I could tell because he was making faces right now,trying not to laugh.

        His eyes bulged in a start,and I was guessing we were in trouble.

     "Uh..yeah..sure. we're on our way. Thirty minutes, we'll be there. Trust",he ranted and was already moving about before he cut the call." Y'all we've got meeting in thirty. Thirty!"

       Oh s**t. Another morning frenzy. I could skip but I already annoyed Steve,I didn't wanna do it again. I started looking for the remaining thing I brought here. My jacket.

          I found it on the chair and when I brought it out I found this yucky mucky creamy, liquid on it. As if somebody had threw up on it.

       "s**t. Nick!".