If By Chance

Chapter 19.

Khun Sam POV.

"Please no,you just told me a couple minutes ago that you're not gonna leave me,you're not gonna broke up with me..please don't do this,we both know how much you love you..and..and I love you too..can-"

"I guess I just love you too much that I even forget how to love myself.."

I try to composed myself while I'm letting those words came out to my mouth..

"Khun Sam.."

"I love you too much Mae,to the point that I almost lose my dignity,I let your dad ruins me..I let him hurt me effortlessly,I let your dad kills me.."

I can't take this anymore,I don't want to leave her this way.

"Please stop..."

"I love you too much that I even forget how to value myself..."

"Khun Sam please,stay with me please.."

"No Mae,maybe it's better this way..let's just accept that we aren't meant to be..maybe somewhere in another lifetime we'll finally free but not in this timeline..."

I hold her hands to the point that she forget that she's hugging her.

I didn't throw a sight on her and even a glance..

I'm numb.

I start the engine as soon as I get inside of the car.

There's nothing much painful than this.

Don't get me wrong,I love Mae.

I love her so much to the point that i'm willing to do anything just for her.

Even giving up on her physically.

Even telling her I didn't love her anymore..I want her to be safe..I want her to live.

I don't have any plans to do this.

But as I was about to leave there house lately as I followed Nop and Dew,my phone vibrates so I look at the screen of it.

My LHR manager texted me,sending me a link of an article-again..

It's an article from the media again,a threat for Mae.

They're blaming her why the company's sales decreases,they throw bad words towards her saying "she's a slut,flirting around CEO Sam to the point that the CEO doesn't mind her business anymore." some says "we should keep that Mae,she doesn't deserve any of CEOs kindness..."some of wasn't against to Mae and me,they're supporters but mostly our haters.

They said they'll do anything to drag down Mae,they even find out that she had a business in London,I don't want that company by ruined just because of the love between us..

I don't want Mae suffer all of the things I've encountered.

I don't want them to threat the person who became my life.

If breaking with her is the only way to protect everything around her including her family and even herself,then I'll do it even if it's against my will.

If this is the only way to keep her safe,if staying away from her will keep her alive even if it kills me time after time,even if it feels like hell I'll do it..

I'll sacrifice the love we had..

I'll fix everything including myself.

I'll make sure that when the right time comes,everything around us will accept us including her dad.

I stop the car Infront of Hechanova.

Dew and Nop on the other side jump off the car..

"Dew,you can use any of the units here as long as you wanted and since you're the manager here,I'll let you stay for free,you can take any units for the two of you and you can stay here permanently.. I'll check on you both again tomorrow morning.."

I said, looking at them both over the window..

He nods at me,smiling.

"Thank you so much Sam,I don't know how to repay this.."

"Dew,you're my bestfriend, we're best buddies...you don't have to repay me because as your friend,it's my responsibility to help you..."

I smile at them..He nods again and I started my engine,ready to leave...

"Sam,what about the break up with my sister?why you didn't tell her about the article??"

"It's better this way...have a good night.."

I drive off my car...

******

I throw myself at the bed as long as I lock my door.

I stare at the ceiling while my tears are freely flowing.

I did the right thing,I did the right thing..I keep convincing myself.

All I can do right now is to curve and hug my pillow thinking it was her.

I drift away from reality,and there I find myself hugging her so tight..

Cuddling in my bed is one of what I want when I'm with her.

"You need to stop crying now,Khun Sam..everything's will be fine.."

She assures me,this is just my imagery but hearing it from her makes me just feel guilty of what I've done..

"I'm sorry Mae,I'm sorry I didn't keep my promise,I'm sorry I broke up with you.."

I give her a kiss at the back of her head.

She roll,infronting me.

She caress my face so gently.

"We'll figured it out even we're not together anymore, I'll wait for you.."

I want to hear this words right now from her,but this right is just my imagination..

My senses came back to reality when my phone rings.

As I look at the screen,Mae's name appeared on it.

She had more than 20 texts to me.

I didn't dare to opens it.

After a few seconds I got a call from her..

I ignores it 'til her she ended it.

She calls again..

I take a deep breath before I answers it.

"What do you want Mae?I told you already we're done,haven't to tired of ruining my life?"

I pretended to be mad just to let her see that I'm consistent of my words.

There's a silent between us for almost 3 minutes..

I was about to hang up the call when-

[ I want you to know,I love you the most]

She started to sing,sniffing and crying.

[I'll always be there right by your side,'cause baby you're always in my mind]

"Mae...stop..."

[Just give me your forever..]

She continues.

[I want you to know,that you'll be the one]

"Mae I said stop!!even you'll sing a bunch of love song over this call,it'll never bring us back.."

I raise my voice,and I immediately cover my mouth so that she'll not gonna hear how much it hurts me doing this..

her crying got louder when she heard me shout at her

I sense the way she take a deep breath before singing again.

[And I'll be the gal,who'll be on her knees.]

No Mae,I'll be the one who'll bend her knees.

[To say I love you and I need you,and said..]

"I'll die for you.."

I continue her sing,she stops.

"Khun Sam..."

"Let's just be like this,Mae trust me it's better this way...."

I didn't wait her response and I already hang up the call....

Mae POV.

I texted her like 20x but she didn't reply any of it..I can't take it anymore so I decided to call her.

At first,she didn't answers it but when I call her again for the second time she finally answers my call.

And as soon as she answers it,she immediately said something..

"What do you want Mae?I told you already we're done,haven't to tired of ruining my life?"

I know she's just pretending,I can feel it..

I already texted her all of the words I wanted to say,so I decided to sing our song I'm hoping that when she hears it, she'll take back all the words she've said at me lately.

Because truth to be told,I don't want to lose Khun Sam..I can't bare losing her..

I know I can live my life without her but it will never be the same anymore..

There's a silent between us for almost 3 minutes.

[ I want you to know,I love you the most]

I started to sing,sniffing and crying.

[I'll always be there right by your side,'cause baby you're always in my mind]

"Mae...stop..."

I didn't mind her,all I want right now is to sing her a song,I always doing this everytime she's mad at me or I did something wrong towards her..

In short,this is the way we reconciled.

[Just give me your forever..]

I continues.

[I want you to know,that you'll be the one]

"Mae I said stop!!even you'll sing a bunch of love song over this call,it'll never bring us back.."

She raise her voice and now that makes my entire body shakes in fear.

I can't take it anymore so my crying got louder when I heard her shouting at her.

I'm really not used to it..

This is not her.

This isn't my Khun Sam.

I took a deep breath to chill myself so that I can finish her favorite part of the song.

[And I'll be the gal,who'll be on her knees.]

In fact,I want her to be on her knees,holding that diamond ring we both saw at the jewelry shop before..

[To say I love you and I need you,and said..]

"I'll die for you.."

She continue the song so I stops,I smile in bitterness.

That's her way of saying *you're already forgiven,don't do it again.*

"Khun Sam..." I wipe my tears.

"Let's just be like this,Mae trust me it's better this way...."

I was about to say something but then she ended the call..