No Way Out (COMPLETED)

14

The house felt heavier without Judas's voice filling the air.

Ilang araw na niya akong hindi kinakausap. No sweet greetings, no playful touches, not even a glance in my direction when he passed by. He worked from his office all day, and at night, he slept on the worn-out sofa in the office instead of our room. 'Yon ay kung wala siya sa bar sa ibaba para maglasing.

Our bed felt bigger than ever during the nights that I slept alone on it.

Pero kahit hindi siya sumasama sa kwarto, alam kong bantay-sarado pa rin ako — Alfonso made sure of that.

Alfonso wasn't cruel. He was quiet, almost respectful in a weird way. Pinapakain niya ako on time although never niya akong sinabayan, made sure the house was spotless, even offered me coffee and entertainment. Pero alam kong utos lahat 'yon ni Judas. He may be giving me the silent treatment, but I was still his. And from what I had learned about him during our time together, Judas doesn't neglect what belongs to him.

I tried to convince myself that the silence was punishment enough, but deep down, I knew better. Judas could leave anytime. Or he could lock me up, tie me down, hurt me if he really wanted to. Pero hindi niya magawa — because no matter how twisted he is, his obsession with me outweighed his anger.

And that scared me more than anything else.

Habang tumatagal, mas bumibigat ang katahimikan sa buong mansyon. Boses ko lang ang parati kong nadidinig, dahil hindi naman nakikipagkwentuhan sa akin si Alfonso. Nandyan siya sa paligid ko 99% of the time, but he offers no consolation. Alam kong binabantayan niya lang ako dahil takot si Judas na takasan ko na naman siya.

I felt like I was suffocating, and on the fourth day, I couldn't take it anymore. Kahit pinigilan ako ni Alfonso, hindi ko siya pinansin. Nilagpasan ko lang siya at umakyat sa second floor, diretso sa pinto ng opisina ni Judas.

I knocked on his office door, but no answer. So I walked in.

He was at his desk, eyes locked on his laptop screen, fingers flying across the keyboard. Hindi man lang siya tumingin sa akin noong basta na lang akong pumasok. Pero ramdam ko ang tensyon sa hangin — like the whole room was holding its breath.

"Jude," I said softly, pero walang sagot.

I stepped closer, heart pounding in my chest. "Jude, please. Hindi ko na kaya 'to."

That made him pause.

Slowly, he closed his laptop and leaned back in his chair, finally meeting my gaze. Bakas ang pagod sa mata niya pero halos walang pinagbago — there was still that dangerous devotion in them, that same glow na parang ako lang ang mundo niya.

"Sit down, baby," he said, voice calm, almost tender.

Umupo ako sa harap niya, hands clasped together to stop them from shaking.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked. "Why are you ignoring me?"

"Because you broke my heart, Andy," he said simply.

"You said you're a prisoner. You said I'm your captor." Kalmado niyang palala niya sa akin. His voice didn't even rise, pero ramdam ko ang bigat ng mga salita niya.

"Pero totoo naman." Dinig ko ang nginig sa sarili kong boses. "Jude, I need my life back."

Hinubad niya ang suot na salamin at minasahe ang noo. I know he is frustrated.

"This is your life, baby. With me. Ako lang ang kailangan mo."

"Hindi totoo 'yan!" Frustration bubbled up inside me. "My friends, my family — they love me too! They're probably worried sick right now."

Judas' jaw clenched, but he stayed quiet.

"Please, Jude," I whispered. "You said you love me. If you really love me, let me go home. Let me see them. Just once."

He shook his head, gentle but firm. "Andy, they don't know you the way I do. They can't love you like I do. Alam mo 'yon."

"Jude, you're not listening—"

"No," he cut me off, his voice was sharper now. "Ikaw ang hindi nakikinig. We're okay the way we are. Everything you need, I'll give. Everything you want, I'll find a way. Pero hindi kita pwedeng ibalik sa kanila. They'll take you away from me."

My shoulders slumped with the realization. He will not listen to me.

He reached for my hand, pressing it to his chest. "Mahal kita. I'll do anything for you. But if you leave me, Andy, I won't survive that. Don't you get it?"

Parang piniga ang puso ko habang nakatingin sa pagod niyang mga mata. I could feel how much he meant every word — how much he was willing to destroy, including himself, just to keep me here.

And that's when I knew — talking wouldn't save me.

Kailangan kong kumilos.

—

That night, I lay in bed, heart pounding so loud I was scared Alfonso would hear it from the hallway. My phone was still hidden somewhere. If it rang once, it could ring again.

And when it does, I'll be ready.

Makalipas ang ilang oras na paghihintay, narinig ko ang mga yapak ni Alfonso papalayo sa pintuan ng kwarto ko. He is loyal to Judas, but he is also human. He needs to take a break once in a while, at dahil alam kong iniisip niyang tulog na ako, I took advantage of the situation and quickly slipped out of my room.

Diretso ako sa office ni Judas. Patay ang ilaw doon. Hinihiling ko na sana ay wala siya sa loob ng opisina. I know he's been drinking downstairs every night since we had the disagreement. Ganoon pa man, considering the time, hindi pa rin ako sigurado kung natutulog na ba siya sa opisina niya o hindi.

Buong tapang kong tinulak ang pinto at sumilip sa madilim na kwarto. It's empty! Kaya naman, kinakabahan man, mabilis kong inilock ang pinto sa likuran ko and I started rummaging through the room.

I dug through the drawers, searching for anything I could use para buksan ang nakalock na desk drawer ni Judas — old wires, paperclips, kahit ano, basta pwedeng magamit para mabuksan ang lock. Dito niya tinatago ang phone ko — I am sure of it.

Pakiramdam ko ay ilang oras ko nang binubutingting ang lock, my hands were shaking and my sweat was dripping, until finally, the lock clicked open. Agad kong binuksan ang drawer and my heart nearly leapt out of my chest as I saw it — my phone!

I plugged it in and powered it up, fingers trembling as I opened my messages. Halos hindi ako makahinga sa sobrang takot at kaba but I needed to power through. I just needed to send one message to the one person I can trust.

I typed it out, fingers flying:

"Hakob. Help. Send police. I am kidnapped. I shared my location with you. Please hurry."

Walang pagdadalawang-isip ko itong sinend.

And just as I hit the send button, the floor creaked outside the door. Agad itong nasundan ng tunog ng naka-lock na doorknob na pilit pinipihit.

Wala na akong panahon para magtago, dahil malakas na tumama ang pinto sa pader nang itulak ito ng hudas.

"What are you doing here?" Matalim nitong tanong, pero nang makita niya ang cellphone na nasa mga kamay ko, alam kong agad niyang narealize kung bakit ako nandito.

"J-Jude.." Wala na akong ibang nagawa kundi tawagin ang pangalan niya nang nagmamadali siyang lumapit sa akin para hablutin ang cellphone.

"Alfonso!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, agad namang dumating si Alfonso na halatang takot sa sitwasyon.

"S-Sorry, sir—"

"You f*****g idiot!" Muli na namang sigaw ni Judas bago tumama ang kamao niya sa mukha ni Alfonso, na agad namang napaluhod dahil sa lakas ng suntok ni Judas.

"Jude!" I screamed before running after Alfonso, agad akong lumuhod sa tabi niya at hinawakan ang mukha nitong puno ng dugo. Pumutok ang labi nito at dumudugo ang ilong.

Nanginginig ang mga kamay kong nasa mukha ni Alfonso dahil sa takot kay Judas. Ang aking tao ni Alfonso but Jude knocked him down as if it's nothing. Ito ang unang beses kong nakita siyang ganito ka-agresibo, at hindi ko alam kung ano ang mangyayari sa amin ni Alfonso kung magpapatuloy ito.

"Get your f*****g s**t together and start packing up." Maangas na utos ni Judas. "My kitten here shared our location to his friend. And it happened because you are a useless piece of s**t who can't do his job right."

"Y-Yes, sir." Mabilis na sumunod si Alfonso at iniwan kaming dalawa ni Judas.

Nanatili akong naka-luhod sa sahig. I know Judas is standing menacingly behind me, pero hindi ko magawang lumingon sa kanya. Ramdam ko ang panlalambot ng mga tuhod ko at panginginig ng mga kamay kong may bahid pa ng dugo mula sa mukha ni Alfonso.

"Come here."

Umiling ako at nagsimulang umiyak, pero hindi ko pinansin ang pagtawag sa akin ni Judas.

"I said come here!"

Kasunod ng dumadagundong na sigaw niya ay ang pagtama ng cellphone ko sa pader. Halos madurog ito sa lakas ng pagkakahagis ni Judas. Halos mapatalon ako dahil sa ginawa niya.

"P-please.." Humagulgol na ako. "P-Pakawalan mo nalang ako, Jude.."

"Never." Nanggigil niyang sabi bago niya ako pinwersang humarap sa kanya.

His voice was full of anger and frustration all this time, kaya naman nagulat ako ng makita ang nanlulumo niyang mukha nang nakaharap na ako sa kanya. His face shows that he is hurting, too, as much as I do.

Just a quick sight of his face brought back that scary feeling—the feeling of giving in on his every request like some kind of dog.

"Jude, please.." Paki-usap ko.

"No." Mahigpit niyang hinawakan ang batok ko at nag-salita mismo sa tenga ko.

"They can never take you away."