No Way Out (COMPLETED)

15

Puro kaguluhan simula nang mahuli ako ni Judas kanina sa opisina niya. The shattered phone, Alfonso's bloody face, the way Judas screamed at us — lahat 'yon parang nag-echo sa utak ko habang mag-isa ulit sa kwarto.

Judas told me to stay put while he and Alfonso took care of things. Sa pamimilit niya, wala akong nagawa kundi sumunod.

But it didn't matter anymore.

Hakob knew.

And soon, everyone would know.

Nakahiga ako sa kama, staring at the ceiling. Dinig ko ang mabibilis na yapak sa labas ng pinto, pati ang sunod-sunod na pag-bukas at sara ng mga drawer at cabinets. Everything sounded so rushed and hectic.

They were packing.

I knew it would only take a matter of minutes before we were out of this mansion, because Judas would never allow us to stay here any longer and risk being caught.

Pero alam kong hindi siya handa. Because no matter how dangerous Judas could be, there's one thing more terrifying for him than losing his freedom.

And that is losing me.

Kaya kahit hindi ko pa rin nalilimutan ang galit at poot ni Judas kanina, I stood up, wiped my face, and walked out of my room to try to talk to him one more time.

Paglabas ko, nagkatinginan kami ni Alfonso. He was near the stairs, holding a duffel bag. Wala na siyang reaksyon nung makita ako, pero ramdam ko ang tension sa katawan niya. Hindi ko alam kung mas takot siya kay Judas o mas takot siya sa kung anong mangyayari sa aming lahat now that s**t is about to go down.

Tumalikod ako kay Alfonso at naglakad diretso sa opisina ni Judas. I knocked once on the office door bago ko ito binuksan.

Magulo ang loob ng opisina. And there was Judas, nakaupo sa sahig, gamit ang isang maleta bilang sandalan. Nakahawak siya sa ulo niya, habang may hawak na bote ng whiskey sa isang kamay. Para siyang nalulunod sa sarili niyang mundo — lost in thoughts too loud to escape from.

"Jude." My voice was softer than I expected, pero ramdam ko ang panginginig nito.

He looked up at me, and for the first time in days, wala na 'yung galit sa mata niya. What I saw was... fear.

"You shouldn't be here," he whispered.

Lumapit ako, dahan-dahan, hanggang magkatapat kami. I knelt down beside him, hands resting on his shoulder.

"Alam mong hindi mo pwedeng takbuhan 'to," I said.

"They know where we are. Hakob knows. The police will know."

Kagat niya ang labi niya, parang batang nahuling may ginawang masama. Pero hindi siya nagsalita.

"So ano plano mo?" tanong ko. "Tatakbo tayo? Magtatago habambuhay? You think that's a life I want?"

He swallowed hard, voice cracking when he spoke.

"I can take care of you anywhere, Andy. Kahit saan tayo pumunta, kaya kong maghanap ng paraan. I promised you, right? I'll give you everything."

"And you're breaking that promise right now," mabagal kong paliwanag sa kanya.

"You think this — running, hiding, being hunted like criminals — this is the life you promised me? At paano si Alfonso? Will you take him down with us?"

Hindi siya sumagot. Tumitig lang siya sa boteng hawak, as if hoping may sagot doon na hindi ko pa nasasabi.

Napuno ng luha ang mga mata ko dahil sa kaawa-awang hitsura niya ngayon, pero agad ko itong pinunasan. Kinuha ko ang bote mula sa kamay niya at ibinaba ito sa sahig.

"Ito ba ang perfect life mo para sa akin, Jude?" My voice cracked. "A life where I can't see my family, my friends? A life where I'll always be afraid?"

"But I love you..." Nagmamakaawa ang mga mata niya.

It hurts so much to see him like this, kaya umiwas ako ng tingin.

"But we can't live like this, Jude."

"But they'll take you away," he desperately clung to my arms.

"They'll brainwash you. They will convince you that I'm a monster. And then you'll hate me. Mawawala ka sa akin."

"Mawawala ako sa'yo kung patuloy mong pipilitin 'to," I said, tears falling freely now.

"Pero kung aaminin mo na mali 'to, if you let me go—"

"No!" he cut me off.

"No, no, no—" his voice getting smaller and smaller.

Hinawakan ko ang mukha niya para magkaharap kami.

"I love you, Jude.."

"I love you, too.. I love you so much.." He cried.

"If you love me," Bulong ko.

"If you really love me, Jude... let me go."

Parang sumabog ang puso ko sa naging reaksyon niya. His tears fell down his face like a waterfall, his shoulders shook, his breathing turned ragged, and he covered his face with both hands.

"Judas..." I softly called.

"I can't. I can't. I can't—"

"You can," I said, hugging his trembling body. "You have to."

For a few moments, walang nagsalita. He remained in my arms. The only sound was his uneven breathing and the loud beating of our hearts.

I could tell his mind was racing dahil sa halo-halong galit, takot, at lungkot na pilit niyang nilalabanan.

Then, slowly, he hugged me back, and I leaned my head on his chest. His grip on me was desperate, almost painful — like he was trying to memorize the feel of me before losing me forever.

It broke my heart to see him like this.

"Okay," bulong niya.

My heart shattered.

"Okay," ulit niya, his voice had more conviction than earlier.

"I'll let them take me."

Mariin akong pumikit at niyakap siya nang mas mahigpit. I wanted to feel relieved, pero ang bigat sa dibdib ko. Because no matter how f****d up Judas was — a part of me knew that I broke him too.

"Thank you, Jude..."

I glanced over his shoulder to the door, and I saw Alfonso waiting outside. Nang nagtagpo ang mga mata namin, ngumiti siya sa akin bago umupo sa sahig at sumandal sa pader. Kinuha niya ang sigarilyo at lighter mula sa bulsa at tahimik na nagsindi. Bakas sa mukha niya na tila lumuluwag ang hinga niya sa bawat buga ng usok.

Nginitian ko siya bago sumubsob ulit sa dibdib ni Judas.

-

Hours later, the police arrived. Diretsong pumasok ang mga ito sa mansion, kung saan nakita nila kaming tatlo sa iisang kwarto.

Hakob came with them, his face twisted in worry, relief, and anger all at once habang tinitingnan ako — in the arms of who he could only assume is my perpetrator.

Mabilis niya akong hinablot at niyakap, na hinayaan lang ni Judas.

Mabilis ang pangyayari. Some officers made me sit down and asked if I was okay. I answered them truthfully. The others focused on Judas and Alfonso.

As he promised, there was no resistance. No struggle. No fight.

Judas let them take him. Without a single word, he watched them read his miranda rights and put cuffs on his arm. His eyes are full of despair and regret.

And Alfonso did the same.

It broke me that Judas never even looked my way before they took him. But I knew — if he did, it would've been even harder for him to leave. I watched his back as he let the police take him away.

"I love you..." I whispered, not knowing if he even heard.

Then silence.

When the police left with Alfonso and Judas, iginiya ako ni Hakob at ng isang police officer palabas ng mansion.

Mahigpit ang hawak ko sa kanila habang ginagabayan nila ako papunta sa ambulance. Ngayon ko naramdaman lahat ng pagod at panghihina, kaya bago pa man kami makarating sa ambulansya ay bumagsak na ako sa sahig dahil sa panlalambot ng mga tuhod ko.

"Drew!" Nagpapanic na tawag sa akin ni Hakob.

Pumikit ako at ngumiti. It is nice to be called that name again. A beautiful reminder that I am no longer a captive.

Sa tulong ng ilang officers, binuhat nila ako at isinakay sa ambulansya. Pero bago pa ako makasakay, tumingala ako sa langit. Wala man lang isang bituin — as if the night sky died along with my heart.

"You're free now."

Lumingon ako kay Hakob na nasa loob ng ambulansya kasama ko, mahigpit ang hawak nito sa kamay ko.

Tumango ako at ngumiti.

"I am."

But why did it feel like I just lost a part of myself?