Of Dark & Light: Acceptance

Chapter Nineteen

Jamie POV

                “Okay speedie Gonzales once you are done with the highway we need to get off so we can head to the apartment.” I laughed at her. She stayed focused on the road head of her. Weaving in and out of the vehicles slower than us. I watched her as her hands gripped on the steering wheel, ignoring the last off ramp to turn around. “Mari? We need to get off.” “No. I’m heading east…to parker.” She said still focused. “I do not think that is a good idea? Plus Matt made dinner.” I said trying to get her to change course. “I am not asking your opinion and Matt is not making dinner. He already knows where I am heading and knows I do not plan on coming back here tonight. So buckle up and shut up or ill pull over and let you out and you can take a cab to Mrs. Millies apartment.” She said with a side glance at me.

                “Also turn off your phone. I already turned mine off. So Lillie does not blow up my phone. I do not need her blowing up yours as well. When we get there, I will need you to text Matty for me though and tell him we made it. He made me promise we would send a text, or he would tell Lillie before I got discharged…” she said annoyed by this. Making me laugh. “It must suck to have what probably feels like a leash on you, but they just care about you. They never thought you would wake up. Lillie was getting ready to allow them to turn off the machines. They would have on the anniversary of the fire…so give them some slack okay.” She glanced over at me pain evident on her face. That knowledge hurt her but she needed to hear it.

                “She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. I could see her trying to hold back the tears. “That is part of the problem, Jamie. She is 14 and should never have had to make those hard life choices. I am awake now. And I am okay. I promise you. I know when I first woke up, I flipped multiple times. It was a lot to take in at once. Once I did though and I had time in my Empty place…” she as I cut her off. “Empty place? What is an empty place, Amara?” I questioned. “Ugh, Jamie that is not the point. The point is that I am okay know okay. I can feel the fact that everyone is concerned but please I need someone on my side. Because it is time the twins acted as teenagers and only had teenage drama to deal with. Okay. I am ready to step up and be there for them. But first I need to do something. I need to check something. Mom left something hidden for me. I am sure of it.” She said determined.

                I decided to drop it because I understood what she said. I wanted that for the twins as well. They still have 6 years before they needed to really worry about adult problems now that Amara was awake. And I would back her up on that. I could do that. In the meantime I would stay quiet as she drove. I wonder what she thinks her mother left behind. Everything that did not burn is in a storage unit back in LA. Needing to tell her this detail, I cleared my throat and called her name, “Mari?”. “hmm.” She hummed softly at me. “Everything is cleared out. The debris and the garage. We have it all in a storage unit in LA. I do not want to push you to go back but if she left something it would be there. We made sure nothing was left behind.” “I see your point. If I can not find anything in parker we can check there next, but if I am correct. It wont be where you guys could find it. Only me. As I think it has to do with my past. The detective said he would talk to me tomorrow so I would like to have what every it is before I speak to him. Maybe it can help?” she said.

                Woah, she thinks Emily left something for her there about her past? But where? We really checked everywhere. And there is NOTHING left of the house. Where could it be hidden. Hopefully she has an idea. For the next 200 miles to CA-62 E, we sat quietly. I knew she had a plan, and I did not want to make her think about anything else. I have wanted nothing more but to talk about the night on the roof. From our kiss to her exploding to her kissing me again. She ended up collapsing into my arms and passing out. But not like she had the times prior. This was more of a light sleep drift which I was okay with. After what just happened her energy was defiantly used up. So I carried her down to the chair and brought her back to her room. Where Jackie was waiting of course.

                She was having a panic attack. The nurse told her what I said but Jackie knew it was a lie leaving her no clue where I was with Amara. Thankfully she did not rat me out. Instead after checking Amara she took me into the on-call room and yelled at me for a half hour. She then began the drilling of questions. I told her everything minus the exploding winds and her rambling about Ally…She would have called psych down for me and Amara if I had. No one was going to believe us about it unless they saw it for their own eyes. I have never seen anything like this. But then again, I have seen some weird s**t growing up with Amara. Emily for one was magic I used to tease. She was a human lie detector like Amara, but things also always ended up where they should be too. It is hard to explain rationally. That was how she was though.

                I was pulled out of thought when we pulled into the Chevron to get gas. Coming to a stop I heard her suck in a breath and slowly exhaled it. I turned to her grabbing her hand on the shifter. Causing her to shift her focus to my hand on hers and then to my eyes. She must have been so hyper focused on her destination she had forgotten me. Which caused me to let out a soft giggle at her. This caused her to smile. “sorry” she shrugged smiling almost as if she knew I knew she forgot about me. “It is okay. You go to the bathroom and psych yourself up. I will fill her up and drive the last 22 minutes, okay?” I say to her. “yeah. Okay. That helps thank you Jamie. I will be right back.” She said as she got out of the car and walked into the gas station. I know I should stay focused on her needs, but I could not help but watch her walk in the doors. Her sweats and crop hoody were so her. Always proud of her curves and small waist. No matter what she wore she would make every head turn.

                As the door shut leaving her no were in sight I got to the pump and did my best to focus on getting the gas in the car but all I could seem to want to do is follow her into the bathroom to wrap my arms around her bare waist and kiss her against the bathroom wall. I needed to focus though. Help her then talk with her. “Jamie?” she questioned. s**t she was there staring at me with a smile. “You good?” she again questioned me this time with humor in her voice. I nodded my head yes as I watched her lean against the car next to me. “I guess baby was thirsty. I was in there for 10 minutes.” She again smiled at me. “Oh umm yeah I guess so.” I lied. We both knew I was lying. It does not take 10 minutes to fill her size tank. I was just lost in my thoughts of her in my arms. Again I zoned out thinking about her in my hands. Her soft lips… “hey earth to Jamie. Haha lets go, okay?” she laughed. Grabbing the pump out of my hand and putting it back. “Are you sure you are good to drive? You seem…distracted.” She again laughed.

                “Oh um yeah im good sorry just thinking about somethings. Hahaha. I will be good to go. Get in the passenger seat ma’am.” I said knowing she hated me saying ma’am. She kicked my shin and walked around the car and sat in the passenger seat. “that was uncalled for…” she said annoyed as I got in and started buckling. Laughing at her I say, “I do NOT know what you are talking about ma’am.” I smiled at her and watched her groan in annoyance. Pleased with myself I put the car in gear and began driving the last 20ish minutes Parker. As we got closer to the Colorado River that divided Arizona from California, I looked over at her. She was tense. “Amara? We can stay at the Inn right before the bridge if you want and then go over in the morning. Spend the rest of the afternoon and evening just relaxing.” I say to give her options. She shook her head no and responded. “No… I have to do this. But I do not think I can stay at Mrs. Millies house a crossed the street. I do not think I would be able to sleep at all…Knowing what happened. Knowing it was all gone.” She said.

                “we can come back here and stay the night.” I say as we drive past the inn and start the drive over the bridge into parker.