Art of Serendipity

22

Bumitaw ako sa hawak niya at iniwas ang tingin. I looked at myself in the mirror. Hindi pa rin ako bihis hanggang ngayon at diring-diri na ako sa sarili ko. Ngayon ko lang ata naisip na wala pala akong damit dito. Paano ako makakapagpalit nito?

"Uh.." Humarap ako kay Levi. "I want to take a bath for a while but I don't have clothes to wear on," sabi ko sa kaniya. Hindi ko alam kung paano niya masosolusyunan iyon pero mas mabuti nang ipaalam ko iyon sa kaniya ngayon.

Itinuro niya ang walk-in closet na naroon. "There are clothes there. I'm sure na kasya lang sa 'yo ang mga iyon. There are new. You can use it. You can have your bath and rest now."

Akma na sana siyang aalis pero hinawakan ko ang kamay niya at ibinalik doon ang phone niya. Makakalimutan niya pa atang kunin iyon sa akin, ibabalik ko na ngayon para hindi ko na siya maistorbo mamaya. Siguro naman ay hindi na muli ako tatawagan ni Nanay Luzon at this late hour.

"Uhm, who stays here by the way? Why there are girly things here?" I asked what's bugging my thoughts a while ago. I just want to confirm though. HIndi ko na rin kasi napigilan.

He looked at me calmly. "My sister stays in this room when she is having her vacation. Mga naiwan niyang gamit ang narito but don't worry, it won't bother her if you use those. Hindi naman niya nagagamit. "

I just nodded and he mirrored it. When he go out, I immediately browse the clothes. Saktong-sakto lang sa akin ang mga damit. Perhaps his sister is just like my physique or same age. I don't know. Levi is a year higher than me. I haven't met his sister. Tanging si Mr. Velez pa lang ang nakikilala ko. Ngayon ko nga lang yata naaalala na may kapatid pala siya.

After taking a bath and blow dried my hair. I sat down on the queen-sized bed. Ngayon ko na nararamdaman ang pinaghalo-halong lungkot, sakit, pagod at pangamba. Iniyakap ko ang braso ko sa parehong binti. Now that I'm alone. I could feel the peace but my emotional thoughts and feelings became wilder. For the nth time, I cried and sobbed silently. Feeling tired and drained. The soft hum of my voice echoing throughout the room.

I want to call Ate Noreen to tell her things but I don't want to bother her anymore. For sure, uuwi siya agad dito dahil sa matinding pagaalala. She's still studying abroad at ayaw kong maging pabigat pa sa kaniya. I have Levi here but...sobra-sobra na ang pang-iistorbo ko sa kaniya. Hindi niya rin ako kinakausap. What happened to him? Kanina pa siya walang imik. If I was in my normal state. I would talk and bug him. Sa ngayon, hindi ko na alam kung sino pang kakausapin ko. I'm just with my three bestfriends. Me, myself and I.

Now that I'm alone, who am I going to call?

Sabi nila kapag sanay ka ng mag-isa, you are ready for the company of others but that's not easy. I just hope someday, I find joy again or atleast, joy finds me. Happiness finds me. Stop the tears and pain not just for me, but for all the people of this Earth. Imagining people so happy makes me happy too.

Nagulat ako nang biglang bumukas ang pinto ng kwartong ito. My lips parted when I saw Levi, holding a glass of milk. Nahinto bigla ang pag-iyak ko sa pagdating niya. Hindi niya alintana na naabutan niya ako sa ganitong ayos, may luha sa pisngi at mugtong mata. Lumapit siya sa table na katabi ng kama at inilapag doon ang baso. I took that time to wipe my tears and arranged myself. Lalo akong naging mas kaawa-kaawa. Damn it!

Doon ko napagtanto ang tagal ng pagtitig ko sa kaniya kaya napaiwas ako, hindi nagsasalita. Hell, I was whining about being alone a while ago. Now that Levi is here, gusto ko bigla siyang umalis. I don't want him to see me crying anymore. I don't want him to see me at my weakest point. Masyadong akong nanghihina ngayon.

But then, umupo siya sa tabi ko. Napabalik ang tingin ko sa kaniya. His face is dark but I could feel the worry. Ramdam ko ang pag-iingat sa mga titig niya. His eyes reflected the ocean in his painting, rough but beautiful.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left you alone. I know that you need someone now but I just don't know if you want to be alone too," puno ng pagsusumamo ang boses niya.

Bakit niya inihihingi ng tawad iyon? I am not his responsibility. Although I'm in his territory but...Well, siguro nga. Nag-aalala siya dahil nandito ako sa lugar niya.

I sighed and wiped my tears more. "I'm still fine so don't worry."

"Now, I can't sleep thinking that you are crying here," iling niya.

"I won't and besides, sanay ako," I assured him, thinking the nights I was crying until I dozed off to sleep.

"Sanay..." he mocked sadly. "Well, from this day on. You will tell me if you have problems. I know that crying is bit helpful pero hindi sa lahat ng oras ay iiyak ka. Mas mabuting masabi mo ang problema mo sa ibang tao para mabawasan ang iisipin mo."

"Tell you?" I pursed my lips. "I know you have problems, too. And you don't have to deal with mine while dealing with yours."

I do not want to be a bothersome...

"Then, I will tell you my problems, too. We will both dealing with each other's problems," kumpiyansa niyang sagot na tila ba iyon na ang pinakamabisang paraan at solusyon na naiisip niya.

"Sige, so what's your problem now?" hamon ko

Binasa niya rin ang pang-ibabang labi at iniiwas ang tingin sa akin. Bigla na rin siyang nalunod sa iniisip niya. See? Ayaw niya nga sabihin yung kaniya, e. Anong kaibahan niya sa iniisip ko?

"Ayaw mo ring sabihin 'di ba?" I said as a matter of fact.

"Because you're still in the midst of your problem. I will tell you once yours die down. For now, let me, at least, help you."

I pouted. Well, kahit ako naman. If I were him, I'd rather not to tell my problems too while he is still problematic. Tumango na lang ako.

He sighed while seeing my reaction. He smiled and put his hand on my head. "I'm hopeless..."

Napakunot ang noo ko. "Huh?"

Iling lang isinagot niya sa akin. Kinuha niya ang baso ng gatas at iniabot sa akin. Kinuha ko naman ito at ininuman saglit.

"What did my Dad told you, anyway?" I asked. I remembered that he is the first one that Dad called that is why he went to the grave, and I am here.

"Your Dad is worried about you. Nakiusap siya na hanapin kita dahil nagkaroon nga kayo ng problema. I'm updating him about you by the way. Do not feel bad about it. He is still your father, natural lang na magaalala siya kahit pa hindi kayo magkaayos."

I winced. "Unbelievable. Pagkatapos niya akong sampalin, mag-aalala siya? Pagkatapos niyang ipagtanggol si Tita Donna sa harap ko, makikiusap siya sa 'yo na hanapin ako?"

"I don't think sinasadya niya iyon. I can't blame you if you are mad at him but I am sure, he didn't mean what he did to you. You can't stay mad at him, he's your father. You should talk to him once everything is settled. Hindi pwedeng galit ka. Hindi matutuwa ang mommy mo sa'yo," pangangaral niya sa akin.

"That will definitely happen if Tita Donna will stay out of our sight and life." I rolled my eyes. "How did you know that I am with mom?"

"I remember you telling me that you always want to talk to your mom because you could feel that she is listening to you," he answered. "I was so sure that you went there."

Napatitig na naman ako sa kaniya. How could this man remember that? Like every words I say are very important to him. Tama lang bang kabisaduhin niya ako? Sabagay. Kung minsan din naman ay hindi ko rin namamalayan na nasasabi ko na pala ang kung ano-anong details about sa akin sa kaniya dahil sa sarap ng kuwentuhan namin.

"Thank you." I smiled briefly.

"Always, Ayannah." He nodded ang mirrored my smile.

Tumagal ang titigan naming dalawa pero sa huli, he just shrugged his shoulders and let me enjoy my milk. Now that we talked, I somehow feel relief. Totoo ngang nakakatulong kapag may nakakausap ka. Bukod kay Nanay Luz at Ate Noreen, I feel comfortable with Levi too. Actually, siya pa lang nakakausap ko ng ganito. Ate Noreen is too busy with her whereabouts while I can't open this up much to Nanay Luz.

Hindi ko alam na nakatulugan ko na pala ang paguusap namin ni Levi. I woke up early in the morning, mahimbing ang naging tulog ko. I woke up early because that's my usual routine. Nagdidilig ng mga halaman sa umaga bago pumasok. Now that I remember my mother's plants, I felt sad. Sayang ang mga halaman na iyon, magaganda pa dahil hindi napapabayaan.

Pagkalabas ko ng kwarto ay hindi pa gising si Levi, well, that's just my hunch. Baka kasi nasa gym or office siya but it still early so I decided to meddle with his kitchen. I will cook breakfast while waiting for him to wake up and also, I suppose that my clothes and needs will come this morning. May pasok pa ako mamayang hapon.

His kitchen is neat but lack of storage of food. Well, I can't blame him. Siya lang ata mag-isang nakatira rito. Tanging hotdog, nuggets and hams lang ang naluto ko. I'm done cooking and yet, he is still not awake. Anong oras ba siya nakabalik sa kwarto niya kagabi? Binantayan niya pa kaya ako?

~~~