The Jerk's Wife (Filipino)

"What's his name?" I look at the young girl across me, her eyes are all swollen while hugging her baby. I can feel how anxious and nervous she is about her child's condition. "T-travis." I smile upon hearing that name. It digged so much memory from the past. "Hello baby Travis." I playfully look at the baby and pinch his rosy cheeks, his nose and eyes are all red because of crying. "How old is he?" I played with his fingers, this little boy also have a blue eyes just like him. "1 year old, Doc." The girl cried as she kissed her baby's head, nakaramdam ako ng awa, she looks so young, around 18 or 19 years old and already have a child. Just like me, I was 19 when I became pregnant but I lost my child, I lost my baby, Nanggilid ang mga luha ko sa naalala but I immediately shrugged it all off, this is not the right time to remember such things. I sighed deeply and start checking the baby, I found out that he's suffering from cold, I gave her prescription and reminders before they leave. I lazily dropped myself in my swivel chair as I looked at my wrist watch, 1:30 pm, great, nakalimutan ko na namang kumain ng lunch. This day was really exhausting, mahaba ang pila ng mga magpapa-check-up dahil uso ang sipon at lagnat lalo na sa mga bata dahil sa klima dito sa New York, nagsisimula na ang pag-lamig dahil malapit na ang winter. Ipiniling ko ang ulo habang pinagmamasdan ang plaque sa ibabaw ng table desk ko. 'Dra. Artemis Siervannia, Pediatrician' Napangiti ako, It's been almost 10 years since I chose this path, tinalikuran ko ang ballet at architecture, I focused myself to pursue medicine dahil simula pa man ay ito na talaga ang gusto ko and look at me now, isa ng ganap na Doctor. "Dra?" I came back from my reverie when someone open the door, It's Celine, a fellow filipino doctor, she's an ob-gyn here in New York, isa din siya sa mga taong malapit sa akin, she knew everything because she saw how much I suffer. We met at Columbia University, we shared the same apartment. Isa siya sa mga nakasaksi kung paano ako umiyak tuwing gabi dahil hindi ako makatulog beacause everytime I close my eyes, ang nagmamakaawa at umiiyak na mukha ni Travis ang nakikita ko. He hunt me even in my sleep, iniisip ko na maling iniwan ko siya, pero mali din kung mananatili ako, there is so much something ahead of us. I keep blaming myself, I am so reckless and negligent, always making wrong decisions. Every night in the past 10 years, walang gabi na hindi ko inisip yung anak ko, nanghihinayang ako, if only he's alive siguro masaya kami, he's 9 years old, going to school and calling me mommy. I closed my eyes tightly to stop my head from thinking such things, kahit ano kasing gawin ko ay hindi ko makalimutan ang tungkol sa anak ko. "It's past 12, hindi ka pa kumakain, are you going to eat somewhere or I'll call someone to deliver your lunch?" Maingat niyang isinara ang pinto ng clinic ko at umupo sa mahabang sofa katapat ko. "Sa bahay na ako kakain." I told her at tumayo na mula sa pagkakaupo at tinabihan siya, tiningnan niya ako at umiling, she then shrug her shoulder and reach the remote. "There's a house party at Sean's, wanna come?" Inabot niya ang apple sa gitna ng lamesita at kinagat ito habang inililipat ang channel ng TV. "Not interested." Bahagya kong ipiniling ang ulo sa sandalan ng sofa at pumikit, hindi ako nakatulog kagabi dahil nagkaroon ng emergency. "International Engineer, Travis Hadrian gives a hint about the opening of his new resort in Bahamas." Naidilat ko ang mga mata dahil sa narinig, he's on international television again, nakatitig lamang ako sa screen ng TV at pinapanood ang balita tungkol sa kanya. "Look at him, kung hindi yan engineer ay papasa siyang model." Celine utter at pinaglaruan ang mansanas na hawak. I remained silent at pinanood na lang ang balita. May bago siyang resort sa Bahamas at isa ito sa pinakamaling resort doon. "He's so successful." Dagdag pa niya bago ako hinarap at pinaningkitan ng mga mata na natural ng singkit. "What?" Inosenteng tanong ko at muling ipinikit ang mga mata. I'm happy for him, after all, he deserves every good thing. Kahit naman hindi maganda ang nangyari sa pagitan namin ay minahal ko siya at pinasaya niya ako kahit sa maikling panahon lang. "I wonder, bakit hindi pa kaya siya kinakasal? I mean he's engage and has a son, bakit ang tagal ng kasal?" Anas muli ni Celine sa tabi ko at sumandal din sa sofa habang prenteng nanonood ng balita. "I don't know either, isa pa, we shouldn't interfere with his business." Saad ko, kahit na minsan ay curious ako ay pinipilit kong iiwas ang sarili ko na makialam. He's already 31 years old, natural lang na magkaroon na siya ng sariling pamilya, hindi naman pwedeng habang buhay kaming makulong sa ala-ala ng isa't isa. We made mistakes and we learned, kung ano man ang naging desisyon ko noon ay yun ang pinaka mabuting desisyon para sa aming dalawa. Bigla niyang pinatay ang TV na ikinakunot ng noo ko, she looks so guilty when I look at her. "What?" Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay, bigla siyang ngumuso at hinawakan ang kamay ko. "I'm sorry, hindi ko dapat sinabi 'yon, ang insensitive ko sa part na 'yon." She sighed and make a peace sign. I giggled and shake my head. "It's okay, that was a decade ago already, I have moved on, he looks happy and so am I." I sincerely said, yun ang totoo, I loved him, tapos na yun at matagal na, wala akong makapang sakit o pagsisisi dahil ginusto ko ang nangyari. Ako ang nang-iwan, ako ang umalis kaya wala akong karapatang magsisisi, and besides, what I have done make us what we are now. "Sabagay, sapat na ang sampung taon para makalimot, I'll keep going Artemis, my patient is in labor, see you!" She then stand up and waved her goodbye. Tumayo na din ako para umuwi muna, I want to rest dahil wala naman akong natitira pang appointment ngayong araw. I am already grabbing my things when my phone ring. Napangiti ako ng makita kung sino ang tumatawag, He can immediately make me happy for no reason, he's my life now, the love of my life and he helped me fix myself. I was a lost soul until he came up with my life and change everthing. I love him so much. I big smile plastered on my face when I answered his call. "Zeus, baby." LEGENDARIE