Following my parents' steps(SQ:The good girl is changing me)

Chapter ten - We need to talk

Blake's POV:

Skyler will never talk with me again. I don't know why I care about this, but I do. She is the first girl who didn't leave when I told her to do it. Well, now she did it. I don't think that she will ever talk to me again. This time I messed up. To be honest, I don't know what changed me, but now, I want to keep her around. I don't know is it possible for us to be friends, but it's better than just strangers. I know that she is mad at me and by the look of her parents, probably her dad will kill me. It's not like I don't deserve it. The problem is that I don't know how to talk with her. I don't want her to leave. Well, there is a chance that she might want to stay, but I don't think that she will. Not after all the things, which I said to her. In her place, I would have walked away from the beginning. Skylar stayed much longer than expected. Maybe I have to tell her everything, but I am not sure that this will help. I want to trust her, but I can't. How I can be sure that she won't leave me for someone else. Nowadays people became heartless and I don't like that. I am too, but I became just because of that. My best friend didn't think of me when he was choosing. Now, I don't care for anyone and anything. It might have passed three years, but I still can't forget about the knife, which he stabbed in my back.

I woke up to the alarm on my phone. I don't know why I still turn it on. My mood is the same as every day. If you ask me, I don't want to go to school today, but my parents will make me. If Skyler wasn't there, I would go, but now, I can't look her in the eyes without regret in mine. I know that she won't talk with me and I understand her. If I was her, I would do the same. I decide to lay in my bed until I get bored. My energy is not enough to make me get out of here and get ready. I looked at my phone and saw that it's 7:30 am.

I was about to fall asleep again when there was a knock on my door. Great. All I wanted was to sleep. Did I want that much? I didn't open the door and continued laying in my bed. Soon I felt a hand through my hair and looked up to see that it was mom. Why did I think that this could be Skyler? She will never do this. Not to a jacka*s like me. I wish that she was here right now, but no.

- Won't you get up? Otherwise, you will be late.

- I don't want to go to school today.

- Why? Did something happen?

- I don't want to talk about this.

- Honey, you can't run away or ignore a problem. You have to face it and find a solution.

- And how this is supposed to happen? She doesn't want to talk with me.

- She? Are you talking about that girl?

- Yes. Her name is Skyler. She might be annoying, but...

- But what? Come on, say it.

- She is not that bad. Now, I f*cked up and she will never talk with me. Ever again.

- Why are you so sure? I think that she will do it.

- Think twice. I treated her horribly and said many things, which I shouldn't.

- Can I know why did you tell her that?

- I don't know. I was mad at her.

- Because she did something.

- No, she didn't do anything. Except not staying away from me.

- Blake, I have told you to stop pushing people away from you. They might get hurt. How you see Skyler is too and that's why she doesn't want to talk with you. I don't know what you have told her, but I guess that it was enough to upset her. You need to talk with her and make up the things.

- And how am I supposed to do that?

- This is something that you have to figure out.

After all, I decided to go to school. I don't know how I will face Skyler, but I have to do it. She needs to understand that I am sorry for everything that I have done for her. I don't want her to forgive me. Only to listen to me and try to understand. I walked into school and saw her by her locker. In the moment, she saw me, she walked away. This won't be easy. I went to class, but she was sitting with someone else. This continued until the lunch break.

On my lunch break, I walked to the back of the school as usual. Sadly, Skylar wasn't there. I went to the cafeteria and saw her sitting alone. I walked up to her, but before I could say something, she got up and left. Of course, I went after her, but when I walked inside, she was nowhere around. I went to our next class, but she wasn't there. Maybe she is in the girls' bathroom, but I can't go there. Soon she came to class and sat at one desk alone. I sat next to her, but she got up and sat with someone. Why it's so hard? I can write her a note, but I am sure that she won't read it. I know that I f*cked up, but can't she at least look at me? I don't know what else to do.

After school, I went home. Skyler won't talk with me so there is no point in keeping trying. Even if she agrees to listen to me, I don't know what to tell her, except that I am sorry. This won't help. One apology is not enough for all the things, which I said to her. The fact that I hurt her is not helping either. I walked to the kitchen when I heard the doorbell. Usually, no one comes here. Probably is one of my parents' friends. I opened the door and left shocked when I saw who was in front of it.

- Can I come in?

- How did you find where I live?

- I took your address from the school register. So will you let me in?

- Yeah, sure. Come in.

- Thanks. You have a nice house.

- Um... yeah, I do.

I can't believe that Skylar is here. Maybe she is not mad at me. Then why did she ignore me the whole day? I guess that it's time to find out. I hope that everything will be ok. I don't want to argue with her anymore.

- I thought that you are mad at me.

- And I was. Can we sit somewhere? I need to talk with you.

- We can go to the living room or my room.

- Wherever is it.

- Ok, then. - I said and walked her to my room.

Both of us walked in and sat on my bed. I looked at her and understood that things might not go in the direction in which I was hoping. I didn't say anything and waited for her to start talking. After all, she said that she wanted to talk with me, so I will listen to her.

- So... how I said, I want to talk with you.

- Ok, I am listening to you.

- I'm sorry for being annoying and pressuring you to tell me everything. I won't do it again and from now on I won't bother you anymore. You can continue being alone or whatever you want to do. I know that I did many things to you for which I am apologizing. I don't know will you forgive me, but I hope that we can keep good relations.

You have to be kidding me. I am the one who should be apologizing, not her. Skyler didn't do anything to me. Maybe it's time for me to step on my game and tell her what I think. Yes, I have been cold with her and these feelings was true, but lately, I feel that they are turning into something else. I don't know will she listen to me, but I have to try. I want to keep around.

- I'm not going to forgive you, because there is no need to. You didn't do anything wrong. I should be the one apologizing to you. I was cold with you because I don't trust people. If you are going to ask me do I trust you, I don't know. I want to do it, but I can't. One girl hurt me and now I don't trust people. She took something important from me and I will never forgive her for this. I'm sorry if I have been mean or bad to you. It wasn't on purpose, I push people away because they have done this to me. I didn't want to hurt you, but I did it and I'm sorry. I know that you won't forgive me, but at least try to understand. This is not something easy for me and I can't let everyone in my life just like that. I am trying my best, but it's hard because it always reminds me of what has happened. That's why I wanted you to go away. I thought that you might do the same. I'm really sorry. - I said and nodded my head

Soon I felt two hands wrapped around me and realized that I was pulled for a hug by no one else than Skyler. I felt a couple of tears in the back of my shirt but didn't say anything. When we pulled away, I carefully wiped them and looked at her. She doesn't deserve this. She doesn't deserve me. I have to stay away from her. Otherwise, I risk hurting her again and can't let this happen.

- Hey, everything is fine. You don't need to waste your tears for me. I don't deserve this. Neither you.

- That's not true. You can't be always alone. I understand that someone has hurt you, but you can't keep pushing people away from you. At least not me. All I want is to help you, nothing else.

- I know and I appreciate it, but I can't keep hurting you. This is not healthy for you.

- I don't care. I don't want to go away. I want to stay here.

- But...

- No! I don't care what has happened to you. I won't leave you alone. I need you. Blake, you are the first person who didn't hate me. Everyone was saying that I am the bad one, but you didn't. All the things, which you said, were because I made you mad, but I know that you weren't thinking any of this. Please, let me stay. If I see that this is not for me, I will go. I promise to not hurt you. - she said and looked at me

More and more tears were rolling down her cheeks. I pulled her for a hug and felt how she broke down in my arms. I hate to see her like that. I prefer the happy Skyler. I kissed the top of her hand and she looked at me. I smiled at her and she returned it.

- Maybe I won't be a good friend, but I will try my best. I promise you.

- You don't need to try, because I know that you already are. The only thing that left was for you to realize it.

- How can you be so good when I am acting like a jacka*s?

- Because I am like my mom. If she wasn't good with dad, they were never going to get together and I wasn't going to exist. Moreover, I know when someone is bad for real and when this person is bad because he or she is broken.

- I don't know what I did to deserve you.

- You decide to trust me and I appreciate this.

- Can we do something now? You can choose.

- In that case, I suggest you watch movies in bed.

- Why do I like this?

- Because it was my idea. - she laughed

- Yeah, it was definitely because of that. - I laughed as well

- Weird question, but can I snuggle?

- Sure, I would love that.

- Really?

- Well, I haven't done it, but it can't be that bad.

- You have many things to learn, but I happily will be your teacher.

- This day can't go any better.

During the whole movie, Skylar was cuddling in me. I don't know what girls like so much in this. For me, it's not something special. Well, I am a boy. From time to time, I was giving the top of her head kisses and was receiving smiles coming with blushing. I never said anything and just kept doing it. Later, she walked home. I invited her for dinner, but she denied. Maybe the next time.

You have no idea how happy I am right now. Finally, the war, which I started, is over and we can try to be friends. It will be harder for me, but I know that she won't leave me. Well, I hope so. She looks like a keeper, but you never know. I still don't trust her completely, but now I feel better when she is around. She makes me feel comfortable and also, I can be myself. Maybe she won't be able to replace my ex-best friend, but I know that she will try and gladly will let her. Skyler deserves this more than anyone. She never gave up on me, neither left me, no matter how bad I was with her. I only hope that she can be patient with me. This still brings old pain, but I hope that I will heal fast.