Never Ending Lies

MORNING AFTER

(JENNIE)

My head felt like it was spinning like a merry - go - round with a pressure that invited the feeling of sickness to my stomach. Slowly my eyes fluttered open to be greeted by a bright light that protruded from the slightly cracked curtains. Soon my sense's started to wake.

Sprawling my body out stretching I came to a sudden halt when I felt a brush of warm air carcass my shoulders. That sudden contact shocked my senses WIDE awake as I turned to see who laid beside me, my heart hopped in my throat as my eyes widened to a half dress Lisa populating the second half of the queen sized mattress; with a noticeable hickey on her neck.

I felt my cheeks blush at the blemish I had marked on the raven haired girls flawless complexion. God even asleep Lisa was so beautiful; while admiring the sleeping beauty I couldn't help but wonder what had happened?

Multiple thoughts of possibilities causing my heart to flutter and stomach ache; especially when I took note that I was somehow dressed in different clothing made my heart skip a beat as I looked down at a tranquil Lisa.

"Stop staring." She breathed somehow feeling my eyes on her.

"Or what?" I asked with a raspy tone leaning forward.

"I'll punish you." Lisa replied flipping onto her back sporting her tightly toned abdominal and I swear I could feel the drool dripping past my lips as I ran my tongue over them.

"You'll punish me?" I asked laughing nudging closer to Lisa.

"Maybe. Haven't decided yet." She answered partly yawning.

"Bet you won't" I challenged already regretting my words when Lisa raised an eye brow. The breath from my lungs escaped when Lisa grabbed my wrist; pinning them over my head as she straddled my hips pushing my back into the mattress.

My cheeks burned as my eyes kept running to her eyes and lips; just like yesterday the same thought crossed my mind. Was Lisa going to kiss me? My mouth went dry as I swallowed the lump in my throat as my legs twitched.

A playful grin curled at Lisa's lips as she slowly started shaking her heading laughing as she removed herself from my hips and getting off of the bed.

"Lisa what happened last night?" I asked sitting up and finally finding my voice.

"Nothing." Lisa answered blankly. Skimming the sweats she must have changed into at some point at night.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"Brought you home, got you in bed and slept. Nothing." Lisa explained quickly pulling her jeans along her thighs, "Hope you don't mind that I borrowed these; my jeans got uncomfortable after a while." Lisa continued as she placed the blue sweat pants in the cornered hamper.

"No... but wait if nothing happened how did you get that hickey?" I asked with a lifted brow.

"Ah, well.. ha, you got a little frisky while I was changing you." Lisa laugh struggling to find the right words to say sporting a slight noticeable blush sheer across her cheeks.

"You undressed me?" I spoke feeling like I should be embarrassed if not violated that Lisa had taken it upon herself to undress me; yet that idea of her hands touching my skin so delicately caused the blood in my veins to rush.

"In a way. You had done must of it yourself which was humorous at first but became sad after awhile." Lisa answered with a chuckle in her words while zipping up her jeans.

There was a brief moment of silence between us as I contemplated my next words before asking, "Why did you stay?"

Lisa turned to me with a smile on her face, "Because you asked me to."

My heart fluttered and skipped a beat causing butterflies in my stomach at the sincerity and warmth in Lisa's words as I couldn't help but smile foolish as again the room grew quiet.

"Well I huh... got to go. Last night was fun though." Lisa spoke flinging her jacket over her shoulders, practically running out of the room.

"Wow seriously? You're feeding me some bullshit line after hooking up with some hit and quit at the club aren't you?" I spoke jumping from the bed instantly enraged that Lisa was pulling this f**k boy s**t on me after showing a side of herself I had not seen in years.

"Look I'm sorry. I got to go." Lisa spoke inching closer to the door as if she couldn't leave fast enough.

"Lisa seriously? You're really doing this?" I asked furiously almost to the point of shouting feeling my breaking heart con-caving in my chest as I took a step closer to the girl who seemed desperate to escape my presence. My eyes locked with hers pleading for her not to do this.

"Jesus Jennie don't do this alright. I have to go." Lisa muttered seeming angry but at what? At me or at herself?

"Lisa..."

"I have to go. I can't do this, I'm sorry." Lisa stated quickly turning on her heels reaching for the door and rushing out of my bedroom, shutting the door behind her as the sound echoed in my ears like the sound of shattering glass.

So many emotions ran through at once, sadness, confusion but the one that stuck out the most was anger. No, it wasn't just anger I was infuriated!

Lisa's constant bipolar back and fourth was constantly leaving me feeling like I'm perceiving the moment through a twisted lens when her actions seems out of sync with what is happening just like the festival. Was Lisa really that destroyed inside?

I can tell that Lisa is allowing feelings of resentment towards this budding friendship keep her walls up. Holding onto the anger and humiliation from two years ago keeping the walls together like cement.

I couldn't help but think if me trying to get close to Lisa was crossing boundaries. All I'm trying to do is show Lisa that it's okay to let her walls down. Even though she may not agree or to even admit it I know just as well as she does that there is a person inside her that is worth value and love.

I know deep down the Lisa Manoban I once knew, even for brief moments was still there crying in that hollow shell, screaming to be held and helped even if Lisa was being too stubborn and proud to succumb to what her heart wants.

Being well aware that the actions we take always have greater repercussions, through every aspect of our lives and we shouldn't strive for any less then what we want to accomplish and I want to prove that to Lisa, that no matter the damage from the pass back fires once it ignites. I want to rid the pain and negativity that has been shadowing her; even if it means getting engulfed in the flames.

Taking a deep breath I sat back down onto my bed feeling tears starting to form getting ready to fall and kiss my cheeks with the salty wetness.

Wiping my eyes I couldn't help but laughed at how overwhelmed I was getting over this ridiculous dare; I mean there was nothing at stake, I could still give up and tell Rosé and the gang that they were right about everything. That trying to change Lisa was a waste of time. It feels like the right thing to do logically but my heart... my heart is saying that Lisa is capable of change and that walking away after only two days is cowardice.

Falling back into the ruffled sheets I wished that I could have restarted the entire morning; even though nothing had happened part of me craved for another answer as I looked at the empty space where Lisa once lay.

Pulling the pillow to my chest it still smelled like Lisa as her scent lingered on the soft fabric; closing my eyes inhaling I could almost envision the stormy eyed girl and being held in her arms protectively at night. The realization only proved that she is just making excuses for her ways and hiding her true feelings because if she didn't care she wouldn't have stayed.

Still taking in deep rhythmic breaths engulfing my nostrils with Lisa's sweet and earthy scent; the mixture of strawberries and water lily's held a hint of what I guess could be sandalwood happily intoxicated my sense's as a few enjoyable memories from last night brought me into a dream like state.

Everything about yesterday was almost to a T perfect, Lisa was actually having fun and wearing a genuine infectious smile on her lips as I could see her walls coming down around that cold heart of hers; especially when she took the time to care for the crying child we saw upon leaving.

Although part of me still wished I had the bear Lara had won me I knew nothing would ever be able to replace that moment were a glimpse of that girls heart was still golden.

The sound of my cell phone rang breaking me out of my day dreamy state causing me to release the clenched pillow from my chest rolling over to check my caller I.D.

It was a text from Rosé.

Rosé: Hey girl. Why you been M.I.A?

Jennie: Hey. Busy ya know?

Rosé: Lisa duty?

Jennie: Bingo.

Rosé: Coming over NEED 411!!!!!

Tossing the cell towards the mattress letting out a deep sigh I really didn't want any company at the moment, but there was no point in arguing with Rosé; once she set her mind onto something no matter what it was she was going to see it through.

Forcefully crawling out of the bed I lagged my way over to my closest knowing that if Rosé was coming over we might be heading over somewhere else.

Starring into my closet my eyes glanced over to the window every now and then hoping that I would get a chance to spot Lisa once again this morning.

My heart arching in my chest wanting to know what had caused the temperamental change in Lisa this morning after we had such an amazing day. What happened?

I knew I couldn't and wouldn't stop asking myself that question even though part of me had some inkling of a conclusion to what.

Something I would probably run by Rosé who was a bit more understanding then either Wendy or Irene; despite the fact she was the one who said Lisa's type of "people" were a waste of time she still had some sympathy towards Lisa.

I knew I wasting time getting my hopes up as it was clear that Lisa probably wasn't home and even if she was there was no chance she would let me see her.

Finally averting my sight from the window I drew my curtains back so that I wouldn't be tempted at the distraction as I looked through my closet.Not really wanting to "glam up" I grab a pair of white ripped jeans that complimented my curve's amazingly and a deep almost olive green tank top and some platforms for my feet.

My eyes glanced over to my window again as I sat down on my mattress to adjust the shoes on my feet; sitting and praying for just a mere glance of Lisa again just to make sure she got home safety after her departure.

Not much time had passed before the sound of my doorbell ringing and my mothers voice was heard from the bottom of the stairs, I heard my name being drawn from two sets of voices as the sound of footsteps creaked the stairs case, at every step that was taken my heart beat became faster even though I knew the second voice wasn't Lisa's; so my heart wasn't beating out of the excitement but out of anxiety. I was scared.

Seconds past when I heard a knock at my door. I didn't bother to say anything since the door opened either way.

"Hey. " Spoke a low melancholic voice as the owner stepped into my room with smile on her lips and concern in her blue eyes.

"Hey Rosie-posie." I greeted with a deep breath before turning around looking at my friend.

"So what's going on?" Rosé asked walking towards me and taking me into her embrace.

"Honestly Rosie, I don't know. I'm just..." I shrugged trying to hold back every droplet of tears that begged to wet my cheeks as I left my friends hug. "Let's go." Rosé spoke tossing a jacket over to me.

"Where?"

"The mall. Where else?" Rosé scoffed as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why?"

"Because you need some retail therapy babe." Rosé smiled.

Ranking my brain around Rosé's proposal and that it maybe a good idea to get out out of the house, hell out of my room away from the oppressing atmosphere. Even if her reason was a bit orthodox.

"So? Are you in or do I have to call Irene and Wendy?" Rosé spoke laughing.

"Alright, Alright I give. The fresh air might actually help get my mind off of whatever that situation with Lisa was."

"Groovy. Now let's go." The brunette spoke waiting for me to leave the room.

When we arrived at the mall it was the usually hectic scene as it was a breeding ground for all out of school teens; it was like magnets flowing towards a counter part as everyone knew where to go.

Rosé and I sat in mutual grounds, the food court, "So... you going tell me what happened or keep moping." Rosé stated settling our trays on the table.

"I am not moping." I answered twirling my fork into my Kung ePao chicken and noodles.

"Yes you are. Now spill." Rosé interjected taking a bite of her sushi.

"I don't really... it's. Lisa she's; complex." I sighed not really knowing what to say.

"What do you mean?" Rosé asked between bites.

"It's like she's hot one minute than cold the next." I explained trying to put my scrambled thoughts into simple words.

"How?" She asked still chewing.

Shaking my head I didn't even know where to begin and start explaining; Lisa was like a riddle, once you think you've figured it out a curve ball sets you off. Taking a deep breath I poked and stabbed at the food in front of me as I contemplated my thoughts to Rosé.

I started with night of my party and the moment between Lisa and I in my room and the playful back and fourth and how I was practically drooling in her arms when our skin touched and how hard my heart was pounding in my chest when I could basically taste her breath as it skimmed along the flesh of my lips.

Then explained how everything came crashing down since Lisa had over heard the conversation between us about her being "trouble" and a "waste of time". Rosé sat in silence from across the table as I continued picking up and explaining mine and Lisa's encounter the next morning but skipping over being caught with my hand between my legs, jumping to the conversation at the diner and how Lisa looked at me while complementing my eyes in such a poetic way.

Rosé nodded as a form of communication that she was still listening to my ranting and taking in all the information.

Sighing I was about to finish expressing my feelings on all these encounters and moments shared from the festival and all the fun we had and how purely happy Lisa seemed to be up towards the point where I thought we were going to kiss until Lisa's cell rang.

It was then when Rosé leaned in eager like a child on Christmas morning waiting, memories of last night came to play when I recalled the rest of the evening at her friend Bambam's place and how slightly uncomfortable I had felt as he stared at me as if undressing me.

"So what happened after you left Bambam's?" Rosé asked.

"According to Lisa nothing. She brought me home and put me in bed. Then she left this morning."

"Wait? Lisa spent the night!" Rosé exclaimed.

I nodded, "She did. All because I asked her to stay apparently."

"Huh. Interesting." Rosé said easing back into her seat.

"How?"

"She cares about you. Lisa may not want to admit it cause of that ego of hers but Lisa has a soft spot for you." Rosé said taking another bite out of her food.

"Or you're delusional." I mocked tossing my napkin at her.

"Jen think about it. Lisa's whole 'thing' is that she doesn't stay, just leaves; but you..."

"But me what?" I questioned.

"You could change her." Rosé concluded.

"After one night? Highly doubt it Rosie plus after this morning I'll never hear from her again." I argued at the sad realization.

"Hey, don't count your chickens til they are hatched." Rosé councils.

Rolling my eyes at the odd saying I could not feel anything other than disappointment and negativity; even though part of me wants to believe Rosé and what she says, that I could change Lisa another argued that she would probably take all her power to avoid me. An aching in my chest felt like it was killing me at the thought of never seeing her.

"Hey ladies. Now what on Earth are two sexy woman like you two doing sitting unaccompanied." Spoke a deep narcissistic voice.

"What do you want Loren?" Rosé asked with a bitter annoyance in her voice.

"Just seeing if you girls wanted some company beautiful." Answered the former basketball captain.

"We're good. Thanks." I spoke wishing for Loren to leave, he didn't as a sick twisted grin curled at his lips as he smiled placing his hands on the table leaning over it.

"You know Jennie; I have to say I wasn't shocked that you broke things off with Kai; he was kind of a little douche if you ask me."

"Good thing I didn't." I snarled back.

"Anyway if you ever wanted to, get together and you know chill. Call me." Loren finished placing a folded napkin in front of me with his number scribbled on it.

"Don't hold your breath Loren. You have a better chance of being struck by lightening." Rosé spoke laughing at Loren and his proposal.

"Thanks Loren but no thanks. I'm not interested." I answered rejecting his offer.

"Think you're too good for anyone Princess Prissy." Loren scoffed his well known temper bubbling to the surface.

"No. I'm just not interested. Now please leave us be Loren." I asked politely hoping to avoid a scene.

"And if I don't want to?" He challenged.

"We'll yell for security." Rosé answered seriously.

"You won't do s**t Harris." Loren spat.

"Loren please. I have already asked you twice to polity leave us alone. I'm in no mood to ask again." I said starting to grow annoyed and agitated with Loren and his neanderthal ways.

" Ohhh feisty. If I don't you going claw me KittyCat? Cause I have other idea's for that." Loren growled stepping closer to my seat to whisper in my ear.

"Loren leave. Now!" I screamed jumping out of my seat to get away.

"Is there a problem here?" A familiar raspy voice asked laced in concern and annoyance causing me to turn around to set my sight on the girl who had eagerly left this morning. Lisa had clearly gone home at one point to change since now she wore a black and gray striped tank top under a multicolored long sleeved plaid shirt; the colors consisting of blue and gray along with purple and green, ripped blue skinny jeans and sporting gray vans on her feet and a black and purple Lakers snap back with her hair pulled over her shoulder, no doubt to hide the hickey from last night.

All I could think was, 'holy daddy'. Shamefully seeing Lisa dressed like that made my knees turn to jelly as I could picture myself undressing her from the layers and disrobing myself calling her the crude word. The images danced in my head like a flip book causing a small pool of wetness to build in my underwear.

"Nah Lisa everything's good here." Loren faulty expressed.

"Really? Cause it doesn't seem like it." Lisa spoke detecting Lorens bullshit.

"Well what's it to you Manoban?" Loren asked his temper emerging.

"Maybe because you're bothering my girlfriend and her friend you brain dead dip shit." Lisa answered.

My heart stopped beating for a second before kick starting back up at a rapid pace when Lisa said 'girlfriend'; I felt a blush cross my cheeks as I felt frozen not knowing what to do or say next.

"Rosé babe, you okay?" Lisa asked addressing Rosé; kissing her on the cheek a bit too close to my friends lips. A quick clench of jealously pitted in my stomach as part of me wished I was in Rosé's place.

"Yeah babe I'm fine." Rosé answered seeming lost as she played along wrapping her arms around Lisa's neck.

"Jennie?" Lisa asked noting my presence.

"Peachy." I answered a bit heart broken as I noticed an expression of dismay on Lisa's face. It was like she was reading my mind and knew that I wanted to be me in her arms.

"You can leave now Loren." Lisa spoke annoyed still at the boys presence.

"Why? We can all hang since Jen is unattached." Lisa replied winking at me making my skin crawl.

"Think again bro." Spoke a deeper Hispanic voice as I felt a strong arm pull me in; looking behind me I saw Lisa's friend Jisoo, her chest rising and falling as she breathed. Fear coursed through me afraid that Suelgi wouldn't be that far behind and I knew that those two had or have a "thing". Trying to stay composed I said nothing and just smiled.

"Fine. Whatever." Loren spoke walking away as he knew he couldn't take on not just Lisa alone but also the Korean that towered over him.

"Thanks guys. Really doesn't know how to take a hint." Rosé spoke addressing Lisa and Jisoo.

"Yes. Thank you." I seconded.

"Anytime little mama." Jisoo replied.

"So how do you two know each other?" I asked as my eyes darted between Rosé and Lisa knowing that they never circle and to the notion that Rosé just a few days ago bashed Lisa with Wendy and Irene.

"Oh well I met Lisa; freshman year was it?" Rosé spoke trying to remember.

"Yeah. You were trying to convince me to switch teams." Lisa laughed.

"Huh?" I asked as too many question circled.

"Lacrosse to soccer Kitten." Lisa answered laughing at my confusion.

"Make sense." I said feeling a bit embarrassed.

"Lisa, we still skating today?" Jisoo asked trying to press along the encounter.

"You skateboard?" Rosé asked beating me to it.

"Time to time. We were just swinging by to get wheels for Chus board before playing knights in shining armor." Lisa joked smiling finding the previous moment funny.

"So where you two loitering now?" Rosé asked. Part of me was silently cussing her out knowing whether intentions were.

"The skate Center on Harrison." Jisoo answered.

"Cool. Mind if we tag along?" Rosé asked again nudging our way into Lisa and Jisoo's plans.

"Rosie I don't think-"

"Sure. We can take my car." Lisa answered interjecting.

"No. We don't wanna intrude. Plus we aren't even dressed properly." I rebutted.

"Its okay. Jisoo needs more cheerleaders anyway." Lisa answered.

"Asshole." RayRay commented, calling Lisa an ass about her comment.

"Come on Jen, it should be fun." Rosé said trying to coax me into this clearly unthought of idea of hers, shooting her a glare.

"Yeah Jennie. It'll be fun." Lisa said repeating Rosé.

Again my heart raced being trapped in this awkward situation.

"If you get bored I promise I'll drive you home. Okay Kitten." Lisa continued batting her long black lashes.

"I'm actually really tired." I lied.

"Exciting night?" Lisa smirked.

"Couldn't tell you." I shot back. For a moment things grew quiet as no one said a thing as there wasn't much to say.

"So yes or no. We're burning daylight ladies." Jisoo spoke with practically one foot out the door.

"You guys head out. Jen and I will meet you there. If she makes up her mind." Rosé spoke crossing her arms nodding to the others.

"Okay. Let's go Lis." Jisoo departed.

"See ya soon." Lisa spoke before leaving and smiling at us and causing butterflies in my stomach.

"What the hell was that?" Rosé asked once Lisa was out of ear shot.

"What?"

"All that Jen. I mean any moron can see there is some serious chemistry sparking between you and Lisa." Rosé exclaimed pointing out something I already knew.

"And with chemistry something is bond to exploded." I replied.

"And hopefully in the bedroom."

"ROSE ANN PARK!" I shouted embarrassed as I looked around hoping no one overheard.

"Come on Jen please. Let's just go and hang out. You need more time with Lisa if you want her to want you too." Rosé said.

"Rosie I-"

"Jennie Kim, I've known you for the better part of our lives so I know you and how your head works. Most importantly I know how your heart works Catalina; and it really wants Lisa even if your head is fighting the notion. You stated it the other night that who Lisa pretends to be isn't her, she has a wall up and like I said earlier you could be the one to knock it down." Rosé preached trying to connect to my common sense as her words had so much truth almost making me want to break down and cry.

"Jen, I was the first person you confined in about being confused, I helped you with it; hell I was your first kiss when you needed to 'convince' yourself that you were bisexual and now I'm here to convince you that you can bring some light into Lisa's darkened world." Rosé continued causing a tear to shed down my cheeks.

"How did I deserve a great friend like you?" I asked with a cracking voice taking Rosé into a hug trying not to cry as I knew I had been blessed with such a great friend.

"I know, I'm amazing." Rosé shrugged departing from the hug.

"So what now?" I asked wiping a slight tear from my eyes.

"The obvious. Go to the park and you skate into Lisa's heart." Rosé smiled trying to be funny nudging my shoulder.

"Shouldn't I go change? I mean I don't think I can skate in platforms." I asked laughing looking at outfit I was wearing.

"Oh sweetheart, we aren't skating just spectating." Rosé advised wrapping her arm around mine as we left.