Love me

Chapter 9

“You have arrived. Xavier take Alice to you room. I feel that the children need some privacy so that they can talk freely and get to know each other.” Penelope said excitedly and the two men agreed in unison. As said, Xavier took Alice to his room leaving the adult to talk about the marriage.

In Xavier’s room

Alice was at her best behavior acting like a shy teenage girl she was when Xavier said to her, “Before we get married I want you to know that I don’t love you and I will never love you. My parents forced me into this. I felt you had the right to know what you’re getting yourself into. This is a chance for you to leave because I can never give you the things you wish for in a married life.” Xavier’s words where as straight as an arrow. He had already started the game and know was the time to make his next move. “But, but we can get to know each other as time goes by. You will eventually develop feelings for me. I promise you will enjoy this life as much as I will. You can at least give me a chance, can’t you?” Alice said still as sweet as the sweetest waters that run down the purest stream. She did not want to lose this chance of marrying into the richest family in her town and the most handsome man she has ever seen. It was like killing two birds with one stone, but this man was making it hard for her. She didn’t want to look desperate but Xavier was not giving her a choice. Her goal was to be Mrs Xavier and she was going to achieve it. “I can’t give you a chance Alice. I’m telling you this because I respect you and I don’t want you to be hurt in the future.” “But I love you Xavier and I know you know because my love for you is obvious. I …” “Loving me is a losing game Alice, I can never fall for you. Please understand.” Alice did know what to do but she was not going to give up just like that. She saw Xavier walking towards the door. Was he really going to leave like that? “How arrogant.” She thought to herself. She was not going to let him have the last word hence she called out to him before he could leave, “Xavier, if I make you fall in love with me you will marry me. Father said that your father wanted us to marry after a year. If I make you fall in love with me within the year, you will marry me. Also let me flirt with you. I will show you that I can make you happy.” With that said Alice walked across the room with her chin up. She was not the type of girl who was scared of a challenge. Xavier has given her a challenge, well challenge accepted.

They both went to join their parents at the dining area. They were talking happily, already planning the future. Xavier could only watch and smile. He did not add any comments but just watched as they decided on things like the number kids they were going to have. It is ridiculous how they wanted more than ten kids. Even if he was not gay, he wouldn’t want so many kids. He was not a child making machine. Xavier’s wondering mind was brought back to reality by the sudden question asked by Alice. “Pardon?” Xavier asked as he did not hear the question. “I asked what name you will give our first son.” Xavier was not interested in this but to melt the awkwardness that was building up as he stayed silent, he smiled and said, “If I were to have a son, I would name him Alexavier.” Everyone did not catch on Xavier because of the excitement of him participating on the conversation, but Penelope did.  The conversation went on for the longest time. Xavier felt disgusted by how his parents pretended like everything was normal. His father was bragging about how he knew that Xavier was going to marry a beautiful woman one day. What almost made him kill every single one of the people in the dining table was when his father proudly said, “I knew he would eventually agree to marry this young lady. All I had to do was push the right buttons and make the necessary moves. There was no way he was going to refuse after repainting the picture and removing the unnecessary people.” ‘What in the world does that mean?’ Xavier thought to himself. ‘Does he mean that … No impossible. Alexander is still alive.’ Xavier thought. He felt a huge lump in this throat cutting his breath and automatically a tear fell from his right eye. He could not live without Alexander. “Honey are you alright?” Penelope asked concerned seeing his son crying all of the sudden. “Yes mother something got in my eye.” “Let me see.” “It’s nothing mother I will go attend to it myself.” Xavier said as he stood up from the table ignoring his mother who had her hand reaching out to her son pushed away. Xavier left for his room leaving his untouched food on the table and his hurt mother questioning her actions. Did she really hurt her son that much that her son was ignoring her like this and treating her like this?

Xavier entered his room and quickly went to his bathroom that was behind one of the doors in his room. As soon as he closed it, he wailed like he’s never before. He broke down as the thought of Alexander dead took over his mind. He could not breathe. He felt like dying. What will he do if Alexander was really dead? “No, no it’s impossible.” Xavier sobbed. Thanks to the sound proofed bathroom, no one could hear Xavier’s heart breaking. He could only cry and try to comfort himself and cry again. Never in his life had he thought that he would cry like this. He hated this version of himself. There was nothing he could do though. The heart wanted what it wanted. The most precious thing in his heart was taken away from him. It was painful. It felt like a piece of his heart was being cut off without any anaesthesia. He could feel the knife pierce his heart. The blood gushing out uncontrollably making him weak. Slowly Xavier’s vision became blurry and dark until he passed out.

Xavier woke up to the warm cloth placed on his forehead. He opened his eye to see himself in his comfy bed with his mother besides him and Ellen near the door. “Why didn’t you tell me you had a cold Xavier?” Penelope asked as she switched the cloth. When she came to get Xavier to bid goodbye to Alice and his father she found him lying on the bathroom floor. She almost had a mini heart attack seeing her son in the state he was in. he was covered in tears and mucus was running out of his nose like it was a race. She had to lie to Alfred because she knew why he was like that. Hence she asked Ellen to help her and told Alfred that Xavier was taking a bath. “Mother, can a person die from a broken heart?” Penelope froze in her movement. She was not expecting her son to ask her this. “What?” she asked. “Can a person die from a heart break?” Xavier asked once again lying on his bed staring at the ceiling of his room that was decorated with Greek gods. “Why are you asking that?” “I felt like I was dying. I used to think that I would live forever with Alexander by my side. Now I just feel like my forever is falling down. I feel like my life support is being cut off. I used to be happy mom. I did not just decide that I will fall for a man it just happened and it was the best feeling mother. How could I know that one day I would wake up feeling so empty? How do I stop the hurt mama? Tell me because I don’t know mom. Mother, I am hurting, help me.” Xavier said as he sobbed loudly and eventually cry still looking at the ceiling.