The Captain

His Life Line

Cause I got issues, but you got 'em too

So give 'em all to me and I'll give mine to you

Bask in the glory, of all our problems

'Cause we got the kind of love it takes to solve 'em

Yeah, I got issues

And one of them is how bad I need you

Julia Michaels- Issues

_________________________________

Harris watched Lesley eat his last bite of the burger. After Lesley had sluggishly put together one pretty much ugly burger, he had no choice but to eat it because he was hungry. Harris had watch him all through his dinner simply amused.

Now they were back in Lesley's room at the desk again and it had started raining heavily by the way. Harris had changed into one of Lesley's t shirts and hoodies and couldn't help but snuggle in it. He was covered in Lesley's scent and Harris didn't see anything in the world better than that.

Harris was simply fascinated by how such a creature like Lesley existed. He watched the boy wipe his hand with a tissue paper and Harris smiled knowingly.

"What are you smiling at?" Lesley asked squinting his eyes at him.

Harris only smiled harder, "I have the right to smile Lesley." Harris stated as a matter of fact and snuggled tighter into the hoodie.

Lesley narrowed his eyes at him a little more before sighing and throwing the tissue into a bin.

"Like I said, your happiness bothers me."

Harris grinned, "Your mom said make me feel at home. Don't make me report you Les."

Lesley scoffed, "What made you think I care?"

"Oh please, you love me." Harris snorted... Before his eyes widened in realization on what he had just said. He uncomfortably cleared his throat and leaned into his chair.

"Dont flatter yourself Cooper." Lesley said grabbing a pen. "I think I barely care about you."

"you think?" Harris c****d his brows and smiled. "which means you actually do?"

Lesley shot him a look realizing his statement had backfired. He knew he more than 'cared' about Harris. Way more. And that hurt knowing Harris was straight and might never be his.

"Are you going to get some work done or just sit there in your comfort zone grinning like a hippie?"

"I'd go for the latter." Harris smiled again. He enjoyed bothering Lesley, it brought him some kind of peace.

Lesley grunted and decided to just leave Harris be. If he turns the project in tomorrow Harris shouldn't be surprised when he doesn't add his name. So he got back to his work ignoring the cold and being as productive as possible. He was a good 40 minutes into it when Harris broke the silence again.

"I like your eyes."

Lesley wasn't sure if he heard that right. He peeked up at Harris to find Harris' eyes on him.

"Wha...what?" Lesley stammered. His eyes widened a bit with the sentence catching him off guard and his heart beat quickened its pace.

"I said I like your eyes Lesley. They are beautiful."

Harris couldn't keep it in anymore. Not when Lesley was right opposite him being his gorgeous self and occasionally chewing at the bottom of his pen in thought which was the sexiest thing Harris had ever seen.

Lesley held his breath. Not because he chose to but because his lungs were refusing to produce the air he needed due to the mini heart attack he was having. His heart dropped down to his stomach.

Harris said his eyes were beautiful. He said his eyes were beautiful.

Lesley swallowed and lowered his head to hide the furious blush that had appeared on his face and wasn't ready to leave anytime soon. Harris said his eyes were beautiful.

Lesley's heart was doing flip flops. If his head wasn't lowered Harris would have seen the evident smile and blush on his face. Harris had said his eyes were beautiful..

Harris was so drawn in by Lesley. He wanted the boy before him. He was dying to feel his face and touch his lips and run his fingers through his dark hair and hug him so tight their bodies would be fused together. He wanted Lesley. All to himself. So bad he couldn't keep the feelings anymore, this was the part he broke free. His only wish was for Lesley to return his feelings. If not now at least he could desperately hold unto the fact that one day he will be his. That was how deep Harris was. And Harris sat there thinking about all the possible ways this could go if he was to tell Lesley the truth, tell him he had feelings for him, tell him he wanted all of him.... and he was dying to have him all.

The things he had in mind, the things he was going to do with him.

"I like your eyes too."

Harris blinked at Lesley's confession. He took a deep breath trying to process the simple phrase. Lesley liked his eyes too. Lesley liked his eyes too......

Harris couldn't keep it in. Not anymore.

"Lesley......" Harris whispered so low only Lesley would have heard his name if others were to be in the room.

Slowly, he raised his head and glanced expectantly at Harris. The tone Harris had called him was different. Much different than any way he had ever called him.

This was filled with softness......... and yearning.

Lesley knew something was going to follow with the way Harris had mentioned his name. The shimmer in Harris' eyes screamed it all. And his only wish was to hear what he wanted to hear, what he'd died if he heard.

"Lesley I...." Harris trailed off pausing to take a deep breath. Confessions weren't as easy as we imagine them. With Lesley right beside him gazing into his eyes with so much of that unrecognizable emotion, Harris was on edge. What if Lesley rejected him? What if he laughed in his face. What if Harris had been reading the signs wrong all along? What if they weren't even signs and Harris had just been hallucinating.

Just then, a rumbling thunder blared echoing an ear deafening sound all through the room. Strikes of lighting sparked across the sky and they were so strong that it cut off the power of the whole house. The lights went out and left the room in total darkness. Harris widened his eyes trying to see through the darkness.

The whole place had turned silent with the only sound being the blaring thunderstorm raging outside.

Suddenly Harris heard a series of heaved breaths and instantly became worried thinking it was Lesley. He quickly and desperately searched in his pockets for his phone and hurriedly fished it out flashing on the torchlight.

He shone it before him only to see Lesley with his eyes closed heaving heavy breaths and struggling to breath.

Harris' eyes widened in fear not knowing what to do. The pants advanced to panic with Lesley uncontrollably hyperventilating in his chair.

"Hey Lesley!.... Lesley!!" Harris called out quivering in fear. "Hey look at me!"

Lesley was who was on the verge of unconsciousness began sliding off his seat and losing his balance. Harris in a flash shot up and caught him in his arms guiding Lesley to the carpet. Harris' heart was pumping so fast and he began to feel so scared.

He didn't know what was happening to Lesley. One minute they were talking and the next he was loosing consciousness.

"Lesley please look at me.."

Lesley's eyes were closed and he had lost consciousness now. His hyperventilation still hadn't seized and his body shook frivolously. Harris held unto him and tightened his hold around him frantically not knowing what to do.

His palms had gotten sweaty, his knuckles had turned white, his heart was over beating, he was shaking at the thought of loosing Lesley.

Harris was so scared he began to sob. He couldn't control the tears. He was mad at himself for not being of any help to Lesley who was on the floor with a seizure.

"Lesley please stay with me!.... Please stay!!..." Harris was tearing apart.

He frantically cupped his palms on Lesley's face and wiping his tears that had fallen on it.

"Please don't do this now... Lesley please dont do this....." Harris cried. He screamed in tears hugging the numb body to himself.

"Lesley for gods sake please stay here with me!!" Harris screeched loosing his sanity. He was afraid of what was happening to the boy in his arms and mad at himself for not being of any help.

Why was this happening? Why did this have to happen?

"Lesley!!!" Harris cried again so loud he felt a burn in his throat. "Lesley please....." He trailed off hugging him to himself.

This can't happen. Not now.

"Baby please look at me." Harris sniffed desperately running his palms on Lesley's face. "Please......"

Lesley lying almost lifelessly on Harris' lap made Harris realize one thing, that if anything is to happen to Lesley he wouldn't be able to live with it. He would kill himself.

He can't live without Lesley.

"Les.... Please dont do this now, please not now." Harris continued to hold Lesley wailing for the boy to wake up.

He opened Lesley's eyelids to find his pupils had completely rolled into the back of his head. A wave of fear swept over Harris making his fingers turn numb and cold.

He realized he was panicking. If he wanted to help Lesley he had to be in the right state of mind. So slowly, he took a shaky deep breath and another and another repetitively. He glanced down at Lesley with red puffy eyes one more time when he remembered Lesley mentioning he had agoraphobia. Harris hurriedly grabbed his phone which fell from his shaky hands on first attempt. He then took another deep breath before fishing for it and searching it up.

Harris had never read so quickly in his life. He darted his eyes over the words and picking the most info he could.

Antidepressants and psychotherapy.....

If Lesley knew he had this anxiety disorder then he definitely had some drugs on him. Harris not wasting anytime shot up to the drawers. He rummaged through the drawers and the shelves occasionally wiping away the streams of salted water that wouldn't stop flowing.

He delved into the wardrobe and frantically rummaged it too, but still nothing. Harris felt like dying......

Then he remembered the bathroom.... He lurched into the bathroom and desperately swept through the drugs on the shelf for any antidepressant with the help of his phones torchlight. Harris was sweating and breathing furiously. Luckily that's what the shelves were filled with. He grabbed a handful and skipped back into the room falling beside Lesley. He quickly injected Lesley in the neck and pulled the boys head unto his lap. He shone the light in his eyes to see if his pupils were getting back to the surface.

Slowly but with time, Lesley's pupils appeared again and Harris could feel his tiny soft hot breaths.

"Les.... Lesley look at me...." Harris whispered softly looking down at him expectantly with wide eyes. Harris was on edge. His emotions had reached its peak.

Glancing down, he watched on and on getting really scared as time went by.

Lesley still wasn't opening his eyes.

Suddenly the air felt too thick for Harris. He couldn't breathe, his lungs were refusing to. His body turned numb and he couldn't move or even twitch.

Lesley still wasn't opening his eyes....

Harris tugged at him lightly and Lesley's body only moved limblessly in response to the tug. Harris' heart utterly disappeared.

"Lesley.....?" Harris whispered shaking him again. "Les..." He mumbled chocking on tears.

Lesley still wasn't opening his eyes.......

"Don't do this to us, please don't.." He sniffed. His eyes stung as hot tears watered them again and still,

Lesley wasn't opening his eyes...

Harris hugged lesley tightly unto his body and threw his head back in pain and agony. A feeling of pain no word could describe. It felt so painful he started crying but the tears weren't coming, he wanted to scream but his voice was nonexistent.

This can't be the end of us, Harris thought. This can't be the end of us.

So silently he prayed, he had never prayed and never had he ever prayed with so much pain and emotion and longing. He rocked them lightly having lost his sanity. He knew one thing for sure, if Lesley didn't drift back to consciousness he was going to loose it. He was on that path already..

Lesley is all he had ever wanted. He can't lose him now. Not now.

"Harris?....."

Harris' eyes shot wide open. He snapped his gaze down to find Lesley blinking slowly.

"Harris?...." Lesley whispered barely above a tone.

Harris drew in a shaky breath feeling too delighted to respond. A wave of sweet and excited sensations flooded his neurons.

Lesley was conscious. Lesley was back.

Harris grazed his fingers through his hair shivering with overwhelming emotions. His eyes began to stung with tears. Lesley was back.

"Harris is that you?...." Lesley asked again blinking and trying to adjust to the dark. Harris nodded wildly as if Lesley could see him.

"Yes Lesley, its me!" He exclaimed sniffing and going crazy.

"What happened...." Lesley mumbled sitting up. He peeped through the dark to find Harris before him with streams of tears marking and running down his face. He blinked confusedly at Harris.

"Why are you crying....." He asked.

Harris sat on the carpet before Lesley unable to put his thoughts into words. The feeling of seeing Lesley awake again was so overwhelming and satisfying that he was still in shock. Gazing at the baffled boy before him through his teary eyes, Harris realized how much Lesley really meant to him.

Without a thought, he pulled Lesley in a very tight hug. He tightened the hug and Lesley who was caught off guard stared wide eyed into the darkness.

"Harris....."

"Shhhh..." Harris shushed him. He needed Lesley's hug, he needed it now. He hugged him tighter pressing Lesley's body against his. He wished he'd never have to let go.

But then he had to, so after what seemed like forever Harris finally pulled away and wiped his tears with the back of his hands.

"You should get some sleep." He sniffed helping Lesley to stand up.

"But we have to finish the project...." Lesley protested.

"Hey," Harris gave him a stern look. "Please get some rest. And now." Harris commanded leading Lesley to the bed and getting him under the sheets.

"What about the work?"

Harris massaged the bridge of his nose. "Please forget about the work. Trust me that's the least important thing on my mind right now. Get all the sleep you can alright?" Harris pleaded gazing down at him.

Lesley slowly nodded and pulled the covers up his body.

In no time he drifted off as the effects of the antidepressants started to kick in. Harris looked down at him watching him sleep soundly. He brushed his knuckles over his forehead hoping and praying what happened this day would never ever happen again. Seeing Lesley go through that was heartbreaking. He was afraid the next time he wouldn't be strong enough for both of them.

Sighing, Harris led his way back to the desk and continued the project with the faint light emanating from his phone. He would mostly zone out thinking about Lesley. From time to time, he'd go to the bed and check up on him. He would adjust his pillow or restraighten his covers. Sometimes he'd sit on the bed staring at Lesley till he realized what he might be doing was creepy and got up.

All through the night he worked on the project till he finally finished. When he was done he grabbed a chair and sat down at Lesley's side of the bed. He run his fingers through his hair soothingly and unconsciously whispering how much he meant to him from time to time.

Harris intertwined their fingers and realized how they fit perfectly. He glanced at Lesley one more time and slowly leaned in to placed a kiss on his forehead, then another on his cheek. Then he kissed his nose quietly, and placed light kisses on both of his eyelids.

Then finally, he placed his lips on the corner of Lesley's lips and letting it stay there before pressing it a bit harder. He pulled back and glanced at him one more time before Harris placed his head on Lesley's shoulder and drifted of to sleep.