How dare you bully the female lead

Chapter 9

I woke up with sweat flowing down from my temple. My breathing was hectic and I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest. I needed a few minutes to calm down and focused on breathing in and out slowly. I finally calmed down and got out of bed to get myself a glass of cold water. My throat was so dry that I needed to swallow twice to get the liquid down. After three glasses, I finally felt a bit better.

"Nebula?"

Hearing me run out of my room, Persimmon came out of his own room to check if I was okay. I forced myself to smile while putting the glass down:

"Everything is fine, I'm sorry I woke you up. I was just very thirsty."

Persimmon was still half asleep and I wasn't even sure that he could hear what I was saying. He just nodded and closed his door going back to sleep. Now that I was alone, I went back to my panic. My dream had been very vivid and eye opening. That was the least we could say. I saw parts of my past life. Nothing big. I didn't remember my past name or my past face but I saw myself reading a book. That book's title was : How to save the tyrant's mother. It was a tragic love story between the crown princess and her fiance, the main character. The two of them had been engaged since their childhood and the main character had fallen deeply in love with the crown princess at first sight. Being a shy and warm hearted person, every reader wished for her happiness. However the crown princess hated her fiance. She hated how much she clung to her and did her best to get rid of her. This didn't discourage the main character one bit and she even managed to get married to the crown princess and have her first night with her.

After the first night, the main character got pregnant and hearing about the news, the crown princess told her that she would kill that kid the second it came out. She didn't really mean it and only wanted to scare her away as usual and she finally succeeded. The main character had to protect her child and ran away terrified of what would happen to her if she stayed. The crown princess was very happy when she heard about the news but years later, when the main character and the crown princess crossed paths by accident, the crown princess, now Empress, immediately regretted her actions. She fell deeply in love with the main character but the latter turned the page and didn't want to have anything to do with the Empress anymore. She discovered her feelings too late and did everything she could to make things right but the main character didn't have any feelings for her anymore. It was too late.

The Empress would do anything to keep the main character and their child by her side at the castle. Because of this, the main character would get killed because of some rebels and she would die in the Empress's hands. The latter would be devastated and would start hating their child. The little girl looked exactly like her mother and seeing her was way too hard for the Empress. Therefore she started neglecting the child not bearing that sight. She didn't want to get close to her and would send her away calling that poor child : "that thing". The Empress would do everything possible to bring her wife back to life and at the end of the book she would manage to. However until then the new main character would become their child. The latter would need years to form ties with the Empress just like the latter needed time to understand her feelings towards the main character.

Just seeing images of a book that I read in my past life wasn't something to be that shocked about. Realizing that reincarnation existed was in fact shocking but if that was all, I wouldn't have been in that state. What was the most shocking about this book was that the name of the Empress was Satin Serphent and the name of her wife was Imeena Wyrm. I immediately understood that I reincarnated in that book and knew that Imeena was going to die and Satin was going to neglect their daughter. I had to save my sister. I couldn't let her die. I haven't talked to her for five years after what she tried to do to me but that didn't mean that I wanted her to die. Was I too late? Was she already dead? I had to go back there right now. I would have known if she had died, right? Someone would have told me, right? Now that I was thinking about it I was doubtful. Who would have told me? No one knew where I was.

I looked out the window. It was still night. I couldn't leave right now. But staying put was impossible having acquired this new piece of information. What could I do? Just sitting down here knowing that my sister was going to die? I continued walking up and down needing to calm my body down. I knew that I wouldn't be able to sleep more, so I just sat down on a chair, my head spinning. I could see the images again and again and couldn't forget about them for a second. Discovering that your life was the story of a book was one thing and it was weird enough in itself. But there was something even more disturbing: in that book, Imeena didn't have a sister. Nebula didn't exist. How come I didn't exist? What did this mean? I had been living in this world for 29 years. How come I didn't exist in the book? Should I be scared for my life? Usually when people reincarnated in books they woke up in the villains or an extra's body at least. But Nebula didn't exist in the book at all. And she wasn't some extra in some unknown family, she was the main character's sister. I knew everyone influential in this country damn it.

A lot of things changed with my birth. Among them, Imeena wasn't the one who got her first night with the Empress. Did she get pregnant? She should have gotten pregnant during her first night. But Satin having fallen in love with Imeena before she was supposed to, Imeena must have gotten pregnant later on. Because I was the one who had my first wight with Satin, was I the one who was supposed to give birth to the new main character? But I didn't give birth to a daughter. In reality, if it wasn't at that exact same moment and that exact mix of genes, then the child would be someone completely else. Was the child main character gone? Or was it different in a book and was she going to be born no matter what? Knowing what the life of that child would have looked like, maybe it was for the best. But would have things still been the same if her parents hadn't split for years? Maybe Imeena wouldn't have died and the little child would have been perfectly happy with two madly in love parents. I had no idea but I had to stop thinking. It was too late anyway and with ifs we remake the world.

"Mom?"

I jumped and immediately smiled doing my best to seem perfectly fine:

"Yes baby?"

A small child walked down the stairs before coming up to me and extending his arms:

"Do you want a hug?"

I smiled lifting the kid on my lap and hugging him close:

"Of course, darling. Did you have a nightmare?"

The little boy violently shook his head:

"No.

-Then what are you doing up at this hour?

-I thought that mommy was sick because you didn't come back to the room.

-I am sorry I made you worry, baby. I am perfectly fine. Mommy just woke up from a bad dream and was very thirsty.

-Don't worry, mommy. Remember what you tell me after every bad dream? Try breathing slowly. You are safe now, I will protect you."

I kissed him on the forehead:

"Thank you so much, baby. You are perfectly right.

-Do you want to tell me about your dream?

-It was about a very scary book that I read. People were very mean in it.

-Were they mean to mommy?

-No, I wasn't in the book. But they were mean to someone important to me."

He started rubbing my head just like how I used to do it for him:

"It must have been so hard...

-Thank you, Light. I feel way better now. Should we go back to bed?"

I got up with Light in my arms and carried him back to our bedroom. He fell back to sleep in a matter of seconds and I stayed next to him not wanting to wake him again. I knew that I wasn't being objective but how could he be so perfect? He had straight black hair and dark eyes which curled up when he was smiling. He was a very smart kid and was curious about everything. What was the most fascinating was that all the emotions could be read on his face. He couldn't hide anything and didn't even want to. He would tell people exactly what he was thinking the second he was thinking it and it was so soothing, always knowing what was going on. People didn't have to always try guessing and tip toe around him.

I signed, feeling my heart calm down. I had been so panicked just minutes prior but having this angel next to me had been enough to help me get back to my senses. I had an amazing kid. It wasn't easy at the beginning. Why did people want children that bad? Pregnancy aside, which was the worst period of my whole life, children required constant attention especially until they were 8 months old. Light for some reason loved eating dirt and I couldn't leave him alone for a second if I didn't want him choking on insects. Gentle parenting wasn't easy either. Sometimes I just wanted to scream but I had to show the right example and had to mediate my feelings in front of him so he would understand. But I did it! I did it so well and I was so proud of myself. And that was only a fraction of my achievements. Thanks to me, 47% of soldiers were women, people from all around the country could have an abortion for free, death rates during operations dropped by more than half... I was amazing and this new challenge was nothing for me. I could do anything. It wasn't going to be easy but I was going to do it.

Thinking this, I finally fell asleep and only woke up with the sun. We went down for breakfast and I immediately turned to my friends who were sharing the house with us:

"I am leaving for the capital."

Karlene dropped her spoon into her tea and almost broke the cup. Persimmon on the other hand thought he was still dreaming and just continued eating.

"Why would you go back?"

I couldn't tell them about the truth. They would think I was crazy.

"Why not? I like villages. They are peaceful and people are nice but I miss the life of the capital. I miss balls, I miss operas, I miss social gatherings, I miss conferences... I had to leave but now I think it's time to go back."

I wasn't lying. I left because I didn't want anyone knowing that I was pregnant with Satin's child but now that Light was older, I wanted to go back to the city. I loved the city. I took a break and focused on sparring for a few years but I felt that if I didn't see a play soon I was going to die. I needed to go out and discovering the truth was just the push I needed. Moreover, Light would love the city too. He was worse than me. He would stay hours in museums and would want to talk to every single person on the streets. This was for the best.

"I am leaving after breakfast."