Begging for survival

Chapter 13 - Out!

Alexandria POV

Derek left a while ago and the sun is almost down, Max decided that I need a cup of hot chocolate to help calm me down but I’m already calm, just a little freaked out, just a little.

“Are you okay?” Sophia asks giving me a motherly hug, I love her hugs.

“Yeah, I guess we will figure it out as we go” I say shrugging, accepting the changes that is happening to me, and that is still going to happen.

“And you and Max?” she says crocking an eyebrow.

“That, I will figure out right now” I say as Max enters the room with a cup of hot chocolate and places it next to me.

“Hey Max, can we talk?” I ask sitting up straight.

“We are talking, Lexi” he says settling into a chair.

“Don’t call me that I don’t like nicknames” I say frowning my eyebrows,

“Yeah you do apparently, just not from us… Ria” he said Ria in a mocking way.

“I’m going to check on the babies” Sophia says sensing the tension that is building up and awkwardly make her way out of the room.

“Seriously, that is what’s bothering you, a freaking nickname that I liked because my mate came up with it?!”,

“Don’t you mean fiancé” he says with and annoyed expression.

“He is both, and speaking of which, you didn’t even congratulate me and been avoiding me for days, hanging out with your new best friend, I guess she is enough for you now to the point you forgot all about me”, yes, I still don’t fully like Natalia.

“Are you jealous I made a new friend?, and who forgot about who exactly, you even forgot who you are” he says a little irritated.

“What is that suppose to mean?” what the hell is he talking about?

“Nothing, you are already stressed out enough, it’s not the time for this conversation”,

“I’m fine, and since when do you walk on eggshells around me, you always spoke your piece no matter what, so what the hell is going on with you” I say raising my voice a bit and leaning forward in my seat.

“Nothing, I’m just adapting to the situation, and you should too” he says coldly.

“And what situation is that exactly?” I ask confused,

“That I’m leaving soon, and it won’t be long before we are out of each other’s lives” still with the cold tone,

“Said who?... Max, you are my best friend, and you will always be, you are not going anywhere because I won’t let you…you i***t” I say chuckling and he scoffs. 

“Best friend… yes, well, you made new ones, and I don’t think your mate or fiancé will tolerate me any longer, when this whole Carter king s**t ends, I’ll be going” he says ‘best friend’ like I’ve insulted him by it.

“Yes, but we will still see each other and we will always be in contact, why are you acting like I’m going to die or something” I say waving my hands.

“Because to me it feels like it” he almost shouts leaning forward in his seat as well.

“Where the hell is this coming from?” I ask confused, what’s going on with him?

“Just drop it Alexandria” he says and stands up to leave but I block his way.

“Like hell I will, what is really going on with you? I’m still the same Alexandria, nothing changed” I say putting my hands on his shoulders.

“Everything changed” he yells stepping away from me.

“Do you even recognize yourself anymore? Luna” again with the mockery.

“So I’m becoming the Luna, but I’m still me, I’m still a hunter too” I think I am, with the new changes I’m not sure anymore, but I won’t admit that.

“A hunter? Us hunters are supposed to keep the wolves and other supernaturals in line not play house with them” he says dry chuckling.

“Excuse me? Play house? He is my goddamn mate, it’s only natural to be with him, you have no right to make me feel guilty about that” I say pointing a finger at him.

“Natural? There is nothing natural about that, hunters are not supposed to be mated to werewolves, like I said we are supposed to keep them in line not in bed Alexandria” he says in disgust.

“What the f**k did you say asshole?”, he is taking this too far,

“I said what I said” he responds in his known arrogant and stubborn attitude. 

“Well if you don’t like it take it up with the moon goddess, she is the one who mated me not to one, but to two werewolves”, we are both yelling in each others’ faces now.

“Yeah and we know how that ended the last time because the poor fool took you as his mate” he says angrily, and instantly regret is written all over his face, but it’s too late, the words already cut too deep.

“You son of a b***h” I almost snarl at him, then slap him across the face with all my anger and frustration, I think I fractured my hand or dislocated his jaw.

“Alexandria I didn’t mea-” he try to say something useless, he can’t take what he said back, something just broke between us.

“Save it” I say as I storm out of the room.

Max POV

I can’t believe I said that, what the hell is wrong with me, I let my emotions get the best of me and I think I f****d up our relationship forever.

She slapped me so hard, I can’t feel my face, but I deserve it and much more, she storms out of the room and I follow her, I catch up to her at the top of the stairs and grab her arm to stop her from going any further.

“I’m sorry, please , I didn’t know why I said that, I swear I don’t believe it” I rush out the words before she runs away again.

“Remove your hand before I f*****g break it” she threatens and I do as she says,

“You know Max, if anyone else said it… it wouldn’t have hurt as much as hearing it coming from you” she says as tears roll down her cheeks, and it breaks my heart that I’m the reason.

“You think I moved on and forgot? I still mourn them every day, but I think I’m allowed to some happiness now... maybe I’m wrong… I will never forget that their death is my fault… you don’t think I live with the fear that it might happen again? That I don’t think about it every single time I see Derek?”,

I have nothing to say, I know all of that and I can’t believe I made her feel guilty for moving on, I can’t even look her in the eye, I’m so ashamed.

“I’m the one who lost a mate and a daughter; do you think I forgot all about them? about their family? Their pack?, they are always on my mind, the fact that I did that to them is always on my mind and I most definitely don’t need you to remind me, not you of all people” she says shoving me , I stumble back and if it wasn’t for the wall behind me , I would have fallen to the ground.

“I… Alexandria… I’m” I try to say something, anything, but what excuse I have for saying what I said… nothing.

“You can’t say anything that could make this right again” she says gesturing her hands between us, then she turns her back and leave, did I just lose her?, I can’t lose her, not her.

I follow her but damn she is fast, by the time I catch up to her, she is already out of the pack house, it’s already dark outside and she is almost at the tree line.

“Alexandria, Wait” I call for her and she ignores me, we are few feet apart and that when we hear it.

“MATE” , I turn around to see a girl staring at me, it’s her.

“Leila?” Alexandria asks stunned as me, we are both frozen to our spots… Leila, the girl I’ve been searching for for years, Luke’s sister, Alexandria’s late mate’s sister, it’s the girl who I destroyed her life… did she call me mate?

“YOU, YOU KILLED THEM” Leila screams as one of Derek’s guests holds her back.

“What’s going on here?, Alexandria are you okay? I could feel you are upset” Derek rushing to his mate’s side.

Alexandria just points at Leila.

“Leila, did you just call him mate?” the same guy holding Leila asks and he looks hurt, why does he care, is there something between them? ,

Derek seems to connect the dots and just holds Alexandria trying to soothe whatever whirl world of emotions she must be having now.

“He can’t be my mate, he slaughtered my parents right in-front of me, and she killed my brother” she seethes as she points at me and Alexandria, her eyes flashes with the color black and she appear to be fighting with her wolf.

Yes, I did that, I killed them and I didn’t even break a sweat doing it, I thought they were hurting Alexandria, boy was I wrong, that was my deepest darkest secret and now it’s out, I can feel the guilt that I’ve been walking with overwhelm me again, there is no escaping this.

“What is she talking about Max?” Alexandria asks from behind me and I have nothing to say, this is too much, there are a lot of s**t unraveling, I don’t know what to say or do to explain myself, can I even explain myself?, my foot is rooted to the ground and my gaze is fixated on Leila with her beautiful brown eyes glaring back at me.

“Max, answer me” Alexandria commands but I have no answer for her, I’m just quiet.

Leila looks like she is struggling with her wolf or maybe they are plotting my murder, if they are, I totally deserve it.

“Alpha Eric, control your people and leave, now” Derek trying to control the situation but fails miserably.

Leila breaks out of that guy’s hold, good; I didn’t like him touching her.

Everything happened so fast, Alexandria screaming my name, Derek’s guests screaming at Leila to stop, and Leila launching at me with her claws out, her eyes flickering from brown to black and I just welcome it, if she is going to kill me, so be it, it’s her right and I’m not taking that away from her, I took enough.

But before she reaches me, she shifts into her wolf mid air and land on all four just a foot away, I hold a hand up gesturing for everyone not to interfere.

“I’m sorry, please forgive me” I say with a cracked voice as I go down on my knees, it’s not enough, it’s nothing but I have to say it, I have to ask for her forgiveness, I’ll always be sorry and ashamed of what I did, I will forever regret it.

Her wolf walks slowly towards me and to my surprise she sits in-front of me, it’s clear that it’s just the wolf, Leila have no control here, that’s why she shifted, her wolf took control to save me from her.

I reach out and rub her light grey with darker streaks beautiful fur and she leans into me, everyone is watching in silence, shocked and in disbelief.

“I didn’t know, I thought I was saving my friend, I didn’t know” I choke out.

She steps back from me shaking her head, Leila is trying to take control back, she looks back at me, one last gaze before she bolts to the trees, I watch her disappear and her people follow.

“Max” I hear Alexandria call but my eyes are still lingering to where Leila disappeared.

“Alexandria, don’t” Derek tells her and I finally rip my eyes from the spot to look at them, disgust, anger and betrayal, I see all these emotions swirl in Alexandria’s eyes as she says her next words. 

“I want you out of my sight, out of my life and out of this pack by tomorrow” my best friend, the most important woman in my life, just till few minutes ago I guess. Finally did it, she kicked me out of her life.