My life

I am insecure and I have been since I was younger. I'm 13 now with to many to count. I get compared to my sister everyday. I'm ugly and I say that to myself everyday. My sister is beautiful she says she isn't but she really is. The only thing I like about myself are my eyes. They change colors to blue, green, grey and there's always a line of gold in them. I love my eyes but everything else about me is ugly I cant even hide it with makeup. Some people say I'm pretty but I don't believe them. The way people look at me and then look at my sister Emma tells me I'm not. I hate my hair its horrible always messy even if I brush it. My face is like a circle type shape and its ugly. I have a double chin and its horrible it just makes me even uglier. Don't even get me started on my body. Its horrible and ugly. I think I'm fat even though people say I'm not but I don't really care what they think I say I'm fat. People clam to know me when they know the fake me. No one knoes the me that sits in her room all day doing nothing and is just staring at the wall listening to depressing music all day. People thing I have the prefect life but I don't. My dads a cop and my mom works at a bank. My parents worry about not bring in money which sometimes they don't bring in enough and me and I don't eat. I let my sister eat even though she's older she still needs it. I could care less about myself I only care for her. So that means I would give anything for my sister to be able to have everything she wants. Emma is my parents favorite and I know that. They spend over 3,000 dollars on her every two years they don't spend that much on me in 4. I also know that life without my sister wouldn't be possible. She is the reason I do what I do. The reason I am starting to write this stories is because I can make money on them and because I want to share things with people and bring joy to some people. Some people don't understand most things about me. My brother left when he was 16 and moved in with his dad I very rarely saw him. It was hard for me to lose him I had a tight bond with him. He's in the army and I now I see him once a year that's more than what I did see him but a part of me still hurts every time I think of him. I'm worried he's not going to make it home when he leaves to go back wherever he's stationed. With things that are going on now I feel like I did lose part of my brother. I have to realize he's a adult now but its hard when you have grown up with that person