BLISS

Growing up Ellie always felt like she was left out, she couldn’t connect with anyone, not even her family apart from one person. She always felt like the black sheep, like she wasn’t wanted, that she didn’t belong. She had her nanna, she was the one person who helped her, she was like a mum to her, but unfortunately at the age of 14 Ellie lost her nanna, leaving Ellie feeling like she had nobody. It was always a pissy fight between her and her cousins, her cousin Debbie was always throwing the fact that Ellie never met her grandad in her face, or the fact that Ellie’s mum loved her more than she did Ellie. Ellie’s relationship with her mum was a tricky one, she was a alcoholic for as long as Ellie could remember, Ellie understood to a point of why her mum wanted to drink due to Ellie’s dad been abusive, but they got out by the time Ellie was 2 years old, but the drinking never stopped, it just got worse. Due to her relationships with her family, Ellie was left out, she was never invited to family meals, or when they went to go to her nanna and grandads grave there was always an excuse or they denied it. Ellie grew used to this and just stopped asking to go. Ellie misbehaved at school and out of school, drinking, drugs, fighting, getting excluded, just to try and get some attention from her family, but it never worked they didn’t care. At the age of 15 Ellie met a 18 year old boy called Scott, she thought he was good looking and he was older which made it even better for her. He got her in to smoking c******s and taking coke, pills and fet, Ellie liking the attention she got off Scott she did it and it helped the fact that it helped get rid of her negative thoughts. A few months in to the relationship Ellie was kicked out of her mums house and had to live with Scott and his cousin and her kids. It was something at that time Ellie loved, but as she looks back on that time she now knows it was one of the worst things she’s done. Ellie and Scott was together for 7 years, they had there ups but a lot of downs. Scott became controlling, up to the point that Ellie had to lie about going out for a drink at a pub or nightclub, even if it was with his family, the only time she could drink was with him and if there was drugs involved. At the age of 17 Ellie found out she was pregnant but unfortunately the baby didn’t survive past 8 weeks and she sadly had a miscarriage, they pretended everything was ok, that a c***k didn’t appear in their relationship and they got engaged. It got worse when she suffered a second miscarriage at the age of 20, it was a long and hard process but she got through it on her own, like she usually had to. By the age of 22 Ellie woke up and realised that her relationship wasn’t perfect and that she was walking around blind to all the bad, so she called off the engagement and called her mum to see if she could move back in with her. Ending things with Scott was one of the best things she’s ever done because even though she spent a year and half making mistake after mistake, she finally got her happy life, her fairytale, her family, her bliss.