YOU WILL BE MY BANE

FIFTY SHADES OF SARAH PART TWO

A.

I look at the five cars parked inside the compound and feel ashamed that Papa will even consider parking his car next to them.

I look around and as the chubby security man closes the gate, I see the edge of the latest iphone sticking out of his pocket. The man seems undisturbed and lazy.

I have never seen a village security personnel looking so posh and commanding that much air of "I don't give a f**k"

"Come on Odogwu, let's go inside" pops says and I swallow hard.

This is not going as I imagined.

We go inside the house and my jaw drops further.

The roof of the living room is designed to imitate the sky outside, like a mini version of the mess hall in Harry Potter but only shinier and more enchanting.

"Hy Mr. Obioma" a voice chimes behind us.

"Oh Sweet Sarah" Pops says.

I turn around and I see the prettiest girl ever, climbing down a winding staircase.

I thought Berry was beautiful but compared to Sarah, she is Gollum from the lord of the rings' trilogy.

I have seen her before from the pictures papa had on his phone but good lord, The pictures did not do justice to her beauty.

Her beauty seems so unnatural, unearthly, akin to those of fallen angels.

She is dressed in a knee-length blue flowery gown.Her brunette hair is cropped around her head, making her to look like Alice Cullen from the Twilight movies.

"You must be Ollie!" She says delightfully.

"Yeah" I reply.

She doesn't look timid at all. f**k!!!

"The pictures didn't do justice to your features dearie" she sings and I blush, for a fleeting moment I forget about you Yemi.

I look at her flowery gown and I wonder if it's soft to touch. She looks like a Disney princess with filters.

"Hey Obioma, welcome" an older woman who I am sure must be Sarah's mother says as she enters the room.

"Oooh, is this Ollie? Damn he's a snack Sarah" she says and looks lustfully at me. I feel naked immediately.

What is happening? What sort of a woman is this?

Aren't African parents supposed to be too serious?

She is a fair middle aged woman with a formidable air of authority exuding from her entire being.

"Oh Obioma, it's so nice to see you again" Sarah's mother says and hugs my father, a little too formal than necessary.

She touches my nose and then my cheeks.

"Sarah, why don't you give Ollie here a tour of the house while the maids serve the food?" Sarah's mother says and Sarah smiles.

"Alright mom" she says.

"Come with me Ollie" she takes my hand and leads me out of the house.

B.

We walk along the path leading to the swimming pool in silence and Sarah's short gown makes her to look like one of those girls found in a cheesy Hallmark movie.

"Say, has anyone ever told you that you look like..."

"Gabriel Maddox?" I tell her.

"No, Rome Flynn from Raising Dion season 2" Sarah says.

It is the same person but I don't tell her. Silence rules.

"So, my mom tells me that you wanna marry me?" She says and I freeze, wishing the ground will open up and swallow me.

I look at her, she exudes this feeling of being shy but also being sure of what she wants and how to go about it.

"Yeah" I say.

"Okay. Physically? You are okay. Yummy even" she says with a naughty smile and immediately the look of shyness disappears. It seems as if there are layers to her. Layers or masks?

"I sense a but coming" I tell her. Am I about to be rejected by someone who I chose as a last ditch effort to get away from You?

"You know what? Just declare your assets to me" she says reverting back to her initial demeanor.

"My assets?" I ask her bemused.

"You know, financial and educational assets? Okay, I will start. I have two master's degree in biochemistry and Chemistry and I am already working on my doctorate and I am 24. You see that ash Mercedes-Benz GL class outside, it's mine. Granted, my ex got it for me but it's mine. This is to mention but few. Declare yours Ollie" Sarah says with a wicked smile.

I swallow hard and I look at her. I chuckle, "I have a feeling you know the answer to that question" I say and she smiles darkly.

"Mom was bugging me to come back, that she has found a good christian boy for me to meet. I was not interested at first but when I saw your picture, my interest was piqued, then I saw you and your dad drive that horrible monstrosity into our compound.

"Oh good lord, does it even have air-conditioning?" Sarah asks disgusted.

"The mechanic forgot to adjust the air-conditioning, it works but not perfectly..." I trail off.

"That question was rhetorical boy" Sarah says and smiles. She stops and looks at me. I look away.

This is not going as I had imagined.

I thought I would meet a naive girl, why didn't I research her?

It seems the docile wife I was expecting has turned out to be the opposite of docile.

I was supposed to come here, meet her and tell her when I and papa will come to meet her people.

I totally forgot I was dealing with a human. God! What was I thinking? That she is a pet or what?

"Look, we can't work. You are way below my social strata. You can't be my husband but you can be my side n****r" Sarah says and I pray that the ground opens so that I can fall in.

"What?" I ask, faking deafness.

"Look, I'm not trying to insult you. But I'm a realist, emotions should not get in the way when logical reasoning is required. Especially in issues concerning marriage.

"You can be my side guy. If you like b**m, that will be an added advantage. I've always had a crush on Rome Flynn. I want to know what it feels like being with him" she says and opens her phone's protective cover. She brings out a business card and hands it to me.

I reluctantly collect the pink business card. Even the perfume smells costlier than my annual salary.

"Um...okay, I have heard you. I will think about it" I say.

"Sarah boo, lunch is served" her mother calls from the house.

"Oh, okay. You think about it. You are really cute Nate" she says and I force a smile.

"Thanks. You are beautiful" I murmur and she smiles. I think she has heard that line lots of times that it doesn't really move her.

C.

Twenty minutes later, we are eating at the dining table. The rice smells wonderful but it tastes like dust in my mouth.

All I can think about is my discussion with Sarah.

"So Sarah, how do you see Ollie" my dad asks and I almost spit out the water I have in my mouth.

"Yeah Sarah, do you like him?" Her mother asks.

I might have misread this whole situation. I had thought she was at my mercy. I get to decide if I want her or not. How was I to know that the entire ball is in her court.

I honestly wish I can talk to doctor James right now.

"Well, I've spoken with Ollie, he understands where he stands. He will give me a call once he has made up his mind" she says in her usual calm demeanor and continues eating.

"That's great" Pops says. He and Sarah's mom continue with their own discussion.

Suddenly I lose my appetite. I drop the food and focus on Sarah's face. She seems calm, unbothered. She has this air of authority around her. She is her mother's daughter.

We finish eating and we move to the living room for desert. I didn't even know that villagers also have desert. Pops and Sarah's mother continue to discuss.

Sarah initiates a discussion about the current economic crisis plaguing wall street and I am lost.

Even pops seems engrossed in the conversation, with Sarah's mother's voice dominating the entire discussion.

"Well, they didn't see the fall coming. The market seemed bullish at the beginning of this month" Sarah says.

I sit there, staring at them. Sarah smiles each time we make eye contact. Her confidence is infectious.

After a long debate and throwing around the words bullish and bearish around, papa stands.

"We will take our leave now. Nne, when should we come with drinks?" He asks looking at Sarah.

"Oh, never. I have discussed with Ollie. He's not what I'm looking for when it comes to marriage" Sarah says with a smile.

"Oh Sarah boo, why? You seemed happy earlier. What's the reason for the change of heart?" her mother asks.

"Well Mom, I and Ollie have sorted it out. We are not a match. Let's just leave it" Sarah says.

"Oh honey, you must tell us. They left their home to be here . Why are you rejecting him?" Her mother asks.

"There is really no need to ask her to tell you the reason now. She will do that later. We have to go now" I say and make to leave.

"No, I want to know why she said no" pops says and draws me back. I swallow hard.

"Sarah love, what's wrong?" her mother asks.

"Mom, you taught me never to get involved with those poorer than I am. We are from different social strata. I know that you might call that shallow but it's called investing in the future. You have my card Ollie, call me if you consider my offer. Have a safe drive home. Thanks for the visit Mr. Obioma. I wish things worked out" Sarah says and draws close to me.

She takes my hands into hers. "I wish it worked out between us Nate" she adds and stands on her toes, then she gives me a warm wet kiss on my left cheek.

She looks into my eyes, smiles and walks away.

"Well, I am sorry she rejected him but we are still on for tomorrow right?" Her mother asks pops and he nods.

"Good, tell the receptionist to change that room, I hate the shower head. See you tomorrow dear" Sarah's mother says and kisses pops lightly on the cheeks.

She touches my nose.

"I'm sorry it didn't work out boo" She says and I smile.

"You can visit us anytime you are home and we are around" she adds as she walks us to our car.

Pop's car refuses to open at first. He gives it a mild kick and all four doors open at once. I look at the window upstairs, there is movement. I hide my head in shame.

"Are you porking Sarah's mother?" I ask pops as he speeds down the lonely highway.

"Porking?" Pops asks bemused.

"s*x, are you sleeping with her?" I reiterate.

"Wow, you young people have weird names for s*x these days. And yes, I am bedding her. Is there any problem?" Pops asks.

"So you want me to marry the daughter of the woman you are sleeping with?" I ask him.

"She's not married to me and besides the engagement didn't work" pops says.

"What about Sarah's father?" I ask.

"Divorced and out of the picture" pops says.

"So she refused to marry you because you are poorer than her?" pops asks.

"Apparently" I reply bitterly.

"In my time, women were glad to be married blindly to men, this generation has changed everything" Papa says with a frown.

We get home and I go to sleep immediately.

I don't dream about you, in fact, I don't dream about anyone.

I wake up very early to catch my flight back to Lagos. Pops is angry and irritable as he drives me to the airport.

"Can't you stay until the new year?" He asks.

"Pops, I was given only three days off work. I will be home for Easter" I tell him.

"Have you started applying for the foreign scholarships?" He asks.

"Yes papa" I lie.

"Well, even if it doesn't work, once you pass your English proficiency exam, I will make sure that you go for your graduate program. Sarah thinks she is the only one that can have two master's degrees" pops says as his car speeds towards the airport.

As I look at the trees whip past, I feel the urge to call you. To tell you that I am coming back to Lagos, single and insulted.

Is this fate? Is she trying to tell me something?

No! I'm getting confused again.

I sit in my father's car and I promise myself to pursue another cause of action.

I wanted to get entangled with Sarah to forget you, I had hoped that the responsibilities that come with caring for a wife-to-be might take my mind off of you.

But it seems like that plan will not work. There is only one thing left for me to do;

I have to resign from Wale, Nuru and Ejiofor.