Selfish

Chapter Fifteen - The Second First Date

Ch 15 – Jimmy

            Unfortunately, Liz spent the following days avoiding me. We would agree not to go to the farm for riding, and she would disappear into Emily’s room, coming out only to collect food or disappear again into the bathroom.

            I wondered at her behavior: what was she even doing in there? I was bored out of my mind: did she have something to keep her busy? The last time we had a conversation of any consequence, we’d comforted each other at the lake. Was she embarrassed that she’d told me how she felt about me? Was she embarrassed that she’d shared with me her fears?

            During meals, when she was forced to be in a room with me, she would only speak when spoken to, answering Keith and Aunt Kathy’s questions in as few words as possible. Either Aunt Kathy and Keith didn’t notice, or they didn’t comment.

            Their behavior had been vexing as well—when Keith wasn’t on the phone speaking in hushed tones, he was taking Aunt Kathy aside to speak in private. Each sideways glance they would send to me would send me into a panic, imagining the possibilities of legal reprimand on the edge of their tongues.

            They would not approach me after their hushed conversations, which did nothing to soothe my nerves. It caused my mind to reel.

            On the third morning before breakfast, one of these private asides especially took my interest.

            “…. all day… riding… and Jimmy….”

            “what…. supposed to……”

            “well, what if…. Liz…”

            I could barely make out the words I pieced together, assuming they were scheming, trying to get Liz and me to finally agree to go riding.

            I strained to hear more, as I busied myself nearer to them.

            “We can’t tell them until its official. I don’t want to get their hopes up.” Keith’s voice was low and sad, but I could tell that whatever it was, he had already gotten himself hopeful for it.

            “I know why you’re doing this. I understand, I really do, but I can’t say that I agree this is the right way.” Aunt Kathy’s voice was more difficult to make out, but she was standing closer to my hiding spot: I had set myself up to “read” around the corner from them, attempting to look as though I was oblivious to their words should they find me.

            “I really need your support on this, Katherine.”

            “I want to support you. I’m trying. I just can’t get rid of this feeling, anytime Cassie’s involved.” Cassie? Liz’s mom?

            I heard silence before Keith continued.

            “The question is, how are we going to keep them occupied today? They need to get out of the house.”

            Aunt Kathy sighed audibly, and I heard her arms fall to her sides. I hurried to press my nose in my book in case she was getting closer. The sound of my heart pounding prevented me from hearing her response.

            “…. won’t go to the farm.”

            “I’ll ask him.”

            More silence coupled with the shuffling of feet met my ears. They were moving away from me. I waited until their footsteps had receded to stand from my seat in case they would hear.

            When I turned the corner, I froze. I was surprised to find Keith standing in my way, he had an arm above his head against the wall, his eyes were cast down as he stroked his beard.

            “Jim,” he addressed me with a clear voice, no longer whispering.

            I was caught.

            “What are you and Liz planning today?”

            What are you and Aunt Kathy planning?

            “Uh, riding,” I lied. I shifted my weight and averted my eyes. I knew I was no good at lying.

            “Really,” he stood straight. I could tell he wasn’t buying it. “What changed your mind?” There was a glint of amusement in his eyes.

            I shrugged, not saying a word.

            He threw an arm over my shoulder, walking me slowly toward the kitchen table.

            “Look,” we stopped walking. “I know you haven’t gone back since…” since my dad died. “I think it’ll be good for you.”

            “Yeah,” I agreed, halfheartedly.

            “Why don’t you take Liz somewhere today? Get out of the house for a while.” He searched my face. “It doesn’t have to be riding,” he offered.

            I wondered how I would get her to agree. She’d been effectively avoiding me for two days.

            “Why?”

            He didn’t seem surprised by my questioning.

            “Your Aunt Kathy and I have some things we need to do around the house, and we don’t want to get in your way,” he explained calmly.

            His explanation seemed to make sense. It fit with the conversation I’d heard, though I still wondered what it had anything to do with Liz’s mom, and why he didn’t want to get our hopes up.

            “What kind of things?” I pressed.

            “Uh, you know.” He swept an arm through the air, motioning around the house. “We’re looking to redecorate, get some new furniture in Emily’s room.”

            “Well,” I thought for a moment. Why would they need to put new furniture in? They had just gotten Emily a new bedroom set, less than a year ago when I had moved in. Were they getting furniture for Liz?

            “Do you need any help?” I assumed they would be getting her a bed. She’d been staying on a cot, though the room was big enough to accommodate another Queen mattress. My heart pounded at the possibility of assembling it for her.

            “No, I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” he answered.

            The explanation I’d come up with in my head fit with everything I’d overheard: they wouldn’t want to get my hopes up if she wouldn’t be staying for good, though I knew that’s what Keith wanted—it explained the hopefulness I’d heard in his voice. It would also explain Cassie’s involvement: she would have to agree.

            Satisfied and already hopeful with that possibility, I started to plan in my mind how I’d get Liz to go out with me. Out of the house with me, I reminded myself.

            I had forgotten Keith was standing there and jumped when he clapped a hand on my shoulder.

            I nodded in response before turning to take my seat at the table. Aunt Kathy and Liz were already making their way down the stairs.

            Another hushed conversation took place in the kitchen as Liz took her seat across from me, pouring herself a bowl of cereal.

            I decided to ignore them, satisfied that I had been clever enough to deduce their motives.

            “’Morning,” I greeted her.

            She jumped in her seat. It was the first time I’d really tried speaking to her at the table.

            “’Morning,” she reciprocated softly.

            I pulled a hand to the back of my neck as I tried to concoct a way to take her out of the house.

            “Do you want to go—”

            “Wanna go to the--”

            We each stopped to let the other finish.

            “Did my dad talk—”

            “Did Aunt Kathy—”

            We both stifled our smiles. We’d both guessed what had happened. The adults had cornered us and told us to get out of the house. There was no fighting it at this point.

            “Ridiculous,” I pushed a thumb over my shoulder to point at the two of them, still hunched over in a low whisper.

            “Incorrigible,” she agreed with a smile.

            We both turned back to our food. I couldn’t stop my smile from growing. As I peeked up at her, I saw she was wearing one, too.

            Aunt Kathy and Keith approached.

            “So, have you two figured out what you’re going to do?”

            I looked up at Keith and back at Liz.

            “Do you want to go to the movies?”

            Her eyes got wide and her cheeks darkened.

            “Uh, no,” she swallowed her food. “I still have a lot of reading to do. Why don’t we go to the lake instead?”

            I knew she had finished her school reading weeks ago.

            “Works for me,” I grumbled, taking another bite.

            “Excellent,” Keith clapped his hands once.

            I finished my food in silence as Keith and Aunt Kathy started straightening up the room. It was only Thursday, still the middle of the work week: how were they able to take this much time off from work?

            I kept my questions to myself. I had planned to take a shower before we left, but as soon as Liz had finished her food, the adults were urging us to get out the door. They impatiently allowed us to change from our pajamas and gather some books, but soon we were walking down the road in the cool morning air.

            It had rained the day before, and the dark clouds still hung in the sky. It was odd that Aunt Kathy would let us go to the lake on such an ugly day.

            I saw Liz frowning up at the sky and knew she was thinking much the same thing.

            They had told us not to come home until dark, to give them enough time to do what they needed to do. That left quite a lot of time, and if we would be caught in the rain, I didn’t want to be wet and miserable until the day’s end.

            We hadn’t walked far, and so decided to go back for my car. We drove silently to the lake, and as soon I’d turned off the engine, rain began to fall on the roof. The repetitive sound it made comforted me, and I closed my eyes as Liz opened her book beside me.

            A few minutes passed, and I was jolted awake when I felt her touch my arm.

            “Sorry,” she said quietly. “I didn’t know if you were asleep.”

            I sat up straight and cleared my throat. “No, no, I wasn’t sleeping,” I hid my yawn unconvincingly.

            “What do you think they’re doing?”

            Oh s**t.

            “Uh, Keith said something about getting new furniture in.”

            “Oh.”

            We fell back into silence, the rain still pounding the roof of my car. It slid down the windows and windshield in a thick sheet, blocking the view of our surroundings.

            I could have stayed there forever.

            I heard a low grumble, which shook me from my thoughts. I looked over to see Liz clutching her stomach in horror.

            I couldn’t help but laugh.

            Turning the key to start the engine again, I quickly pushed the lever to start the windshield wipers.

            “Let’s get you something to eat,” I smiled.

            --xx—

            The rest of the day moved quickly. We got pizza from a shop near the cinema, filling our stomachs as we talked and laughed. We stayed long after we’d finished the pie, long enough to be hungry again for dinner. I ordered fries and nachos and burgers—everything that looked good, which was most of it. We’d filled ourselves enough that we couldn’t bring ourselves to finish our food—another bite and we might explode.

            She shared with me the image that had popped into her mind: the two of us round and fat with our full bellies, rolling out the door of the restaurant and down the street, all the way home. I tried not to smile, to appear more serious, but the image had entered my mind vividly, and I burst into fits of laughter, clutching my stomach and struggling to breathe.

            When we’d both calmed our breathing, the smiles still frozen on our faces, I had a thought.

            “Let’s go on a real date.”

            Though I was nervous to ask and feared her rejection, neither of our smiles wavered.

            She nodded, slowly; her smile grew.

            “Okay,” was all she said.

            --xx—

            There was no new furniture in the house when we arrived home, though the carpet had been pulled up from the entryway and leading into the downstairs bathroom. I knew Aunt Kathy hadn’t been able to remove the blood and mud stains that had been left earlier in the summer.

            Neither Liz nor I asked about the renovations or the furniture, only exchanging glances when they asked if we could be out of the house another day.

            I would have to plan our date quickly, but the town fair would be starting the next night: it would be a perfect way to end a perfect date. But where would we go during the day?

            I stayed up pacing my room, hoping that whatever I came up with would not deter her from wanting to see me again. Would going to the movies be too boring? Would she associate it with Drew?

            By morning, there was no more time to plan. I was too preoccupied to worry myself too long: the conversation at breakfast was cause for celebration.

            I had woken early to get ready for the date and so had Liz. As I was waiting outside the bathroom for a chance in the shower, I noticed Keith carrying a box of small fireworks from the attic.

            When I’d washed and dressed myself, I came downstairs to find the three of them standing around the table, grinning ear-to-ear.

            “It’s time to celebrate,” Keith had declared ambiguously.

            “What?” I’d asked stupidly.

            The morning passed in a blur of shimmering lights, laughter, and running through the yard. Though the sun had already risen in the sky, the magic was not lost from the pyrotechnics. I lifted Liz in the air in my excitement, squeezing her too hard in my embrace.

            Drew had officially dropped his charges.

            I would be returning to school in a few weeks, and it was clear that Drew had dropped out of school to get his GED instead—he wouldn’t be there to cause friction!

            Nothing could have ruined my day. Not only was I celebrating my own freedom, I was celebrating the day I would spend with Lizard. Even if she didn’t want to see me after summer, I was lucky to even have this much.

            When Keith and Aunt Kathy inevitably pushed us out the door so they could redecorate the house, my heart skipped a beat. This is it.

            I had more-or-less planned the itinerary for the day, but anything was possible. Looking up at the sky, I was glad to find the rain clouds had been blown away from the area. The air was hot, and we were dressed in light clothing, though I saw she held a sweatshirt close to her chest, just in case.

            “So, where are you taking me?” Her round eyes bore into my cheek as I watched the road ahead of me.

            “Um, well,” I stopped at a red light and turned to look at her. “I thought maybe we could play some mini-golf.”

            She bit her lower lip in her smile, her eyebrows raising in amusement.

            “Um, but if that’s stupid—”

            “No, it sounds fun,” she agreed.

            Nodding as I pulled ahead with the light turning green, we made our way to the course.

            --xx--

            “I’m mini-golf champ back home,” she bragged, swinging her thin golf club until its end smacked her in the forehead.

            I couldn’t stifle my laughter quickly enough, but I was able to contain myself enough to help her to a bench as she pressed the palm of her hand against her temple. Her frown was pulled tightly, and her eyebrows furrowed in pain as she shot me a glare. I stood to get a bag of ice from the ice cream stand nearby.

            When she finally stood to play, I was no longer laughing. She was amazing! In the first three lanes, she got par, while I struggled to keep up. She took her time, crouching to find which pipe would let out closest to the hole before lining herself up and striking the ball.

            When she got a hole-in-one on hole five, my jaw dropped to the floor.

            “You sure you haven’t done this before?” I lined up to take my first shot. I had to readjust my hands several times on the club: they were sweating and slipping down the grip.

            She laughed. “I never said I’d never done this before. Sam and I go mini-golfing all the time.”

            I peered over my shoulder to see her. She was sitting on the bench with her hands and chin resting on the top of her club. Her smile was serene and her gaze soft.

            “Yeah, well, you’re going down,” I exclaimed in jest. It was clear who the winner would be.

            I hit the ball softly, fearing that I would send it into the pond that laid beneath the bridge. Unfortunately, it was too soft, and the ball rolled maybe a quarter of the length of the lane. It was a straight shot, but the green turf rose into a perfect hump as an unwalled bridge over the pond. I would have to get it over the hill perfectly straight so it would not roll over the edge.

            Grunting in disapproval, I heard her soft laugh from the bench as I adjusted myself over the ball. As I pulled back to put, I felt her approaching, and my body tensed as her thin arms reached around my waist. She was on her tiptoes and her chin rested on my shoulder, assessing my position.

            Her hands covered mine, adjusting my grip slightly so my hands were a bit further apart.

            I could feel the whole of her body pressed against my back, our hips moving together as she helped me pull back the club to swing. I closed my eyes as the gentle knock of the ball met my ears. I felt her pull herself away from me, the day’s gentle breeze tickling the places she’d touched.

            When I finally opened my eyes and let out my held breath, I didn’t see the ball.

            My heart fell. “Did it go into the water?”

            Her eyes sparkled as she made her way to the hole, bending down to retrieve it for me.

            “Let’s move on,” she declared, turning to walk to hole six.

            For the next three holes, she explained her thinking before each shot, and I started to see the calculations she was making in her head. While she didn’t get another hole-in-one, I took all her advice, measuring distances and angles before lining myself up.

            I brought her here not to learn how to play, but so we could laugh at all our mistakes together. Somehow, this was better.

            When we got to lane twelve, we both got a hole-in-one! It was incredible. The lane was suspended into a full loop and we watched as our balls hugged the turf, even completely upside-down. While hers went into the hole gently, mine bounced off the back wall with a bit too much force, though it still fell in on my first shot.

            Liz smiled when hers went in, but when mine fell in behind her, she literally jumped to her feet, hooting and hollering as I threw my arms up in disbelief. She ran to me hugged me tightly, my arms still stupidly stuck in the air.

            Of course, by hole eighteen, she had clearly won, but I was happy with my score. We happily returned our clubs to the counter before turning to the ice cream shop.

            “Hungry?” I raised an eyebrow.

            “Oh, god, yes!” she hurriedly grabbed my hand, pulling me to the counter.

            When we’d gotten our food, we sat on a picnic bench under the hot sun.

            “So, shark,” I teased. “How come you didn’t tell me you played professionally?”

            Playing into my ruse, she flipped her hair behind her shoulder, “I didn’t want to hurt your fragile ego.”

            Her eyes were locked with mine, but they were dancing as she took a bite of her hot dog, chewing slowly through her smile.

            I couldn’t believe how perfectly the day was going. We continued to talk and laugh and tease each other playfully. We stayed and bought ice cream before we went on our way, making our way to a bench overlooking the course.

            “I think we’re gonna need a rematch,” I nudged her with my elbow without looking away from the course. There were families making their way between the lanes. I watched as an elderly couple near us took their time and let a family pass before them. As the man’s arms shook, lining up the club with the ball, I imagined he was shaking from nerves, maybe on his first date with the woman.

            “What are you smiling about?”

            I turned to find Liz staring up at with mirth in her eyes. I thought my face would break of smiling.

            “What?”

            “You know with a rematch, you’re just going to get beat again,” she gloated.

            Laughing, I took her ice cream from her and held it high above my head. She scoffed before laughing again.

            “Give it!”

            “Not until you admit that you totally hustled me.”

            She jumped on her tiptoes and clutched at my wrist, trying to pull my arm down, but I didn’t waver.

            Crossing her arms in defiance, she huffed, still smiling.

            “I didn’t hustle you.”

            “Oh, come on. Tell the truth.”

            “Okay, okay,” she dropped her arms. “I may have conveniently left out my experience.”

            Without breaking my smile, I held her ice cream out, which she snatched quickly from my fingers before turning around and licking it hungrily.

            This was the most perfect day.

            When we were ready to leave, I offered to take her to the fair. It had started already, but it was still early enough that it wouldn’t be too crowded.

            She smiled but shook her head side-to-side.

            “Let’s go swimming instead,” she suggested.

            “But the pool’s closed,” I pointed out. I hadn’t brought my swim trunks, either, but I could get away with wearing my shorts.

            “It hasn’t stopped us before.”

            I suddenly realized she wanted to go to the lake. My cheeks burning, I drove us there quickly. The fair didn’t matter, anyway.

            When I’d parked, she didn’t wait for the engine to stop before moving. She moved so quickly; I couldn’t even tell when she’d unbuckled her seatbelt.

            I tried to follow her lead but tripped on a root as soon as I’d entered the tree line. I could hear her laughing up ahead, followed by a long rush of water. She must have run straight in!

            As I reached the water line, I saw her head bobbing a little way’s off as she treaded the water. She must have been a strong swimmer, too.

“You hustled me in the pond, too,” I accused loudly.

“Not true,” she laughed. “It’s just the Clutz in me!”

I pulled off my shoes and socks, noticing her shirt and pants were thrown into a pile with her shoes.

“Come on in, the water’s fine!” She splashed water in my direction, but she was too far away to reach me.

As soon as I could, I ran into the water, leaving my shorts on, but making sure to empty my pockets before running in.

We splashed each other and found our footing closer to shore, playfully running through the water. It slowed us considerably, and we lost our footing often, earning great peals of laughter to ring through the air.

When I’d tried to chase her again, we pulled ourselves through to shore, seating ourselves to catch our breath.

I saw the water glistening on her skin as she hunched over in her seat in exhaustion. Her black underwear matched her tank top, which she must have been wearing under her shirt.

“Thank you,” she breathed as she stretched her arms overhead.

“Hm? For what?”

“For today,” she stood to pull her shorts onto her body. I couldn’t help but stare as she wringed the water from her hair. Her shorts were still unbuttoned, and I could see a hint of her black panties peeking through.

I averted my eyes to the water to stop myself from getting hard.

When I looked back, she had already fully dressed, a bit of water seeping through her clothes.

“I had a lot of fun,” she reiterated.

“Me, too.”

I shook the dirt from my shirt and socks before pulling them onto my body, finally stuffing my feet into my shoes.

The sun was already starting to set, so we made our way back to the car, driving home in a comfortable silence.

--xx—

I could not have imagined a more perfect day. Though we hadn’t kissed, it didn’t matter. I was happy. I was happy even still, lying in bed with my hands tucked behind my head as I stared up at the ceiling with a smile. We had even planned to go to the stables together the following day.

            Though I was admittedly nervous to get back onto a horse, I believed it was time. I could remember going with Lizard when we were kids, before she and her mom moved away. Was it possible that she might be willing to build a life here? Or was she just going for something to do in the next few weeks?

            If that was the case, I knew I couldn’t blame her. I’d been bored out of my mind every day we’d refused to go. I was glad for any excuse to get out of the house. With her.

            Nothing could bring me down.