Being His Mate

Chapter 15

I cried in my room for two days, well I look like s**t, I feel like s**t and I also smell like s**t.

Sophia tried calling me and barging in my room but I played dead, well the outer me played dead, my insides and heart is already dead.

She tried forcing food in my mouth but I just barfed it out, my dad didn't give a flying f**k about me and all the maids are scared of me now because when someone -when not Sophia- walks in I start throwing stuff in their direction.

I wasn't like this when I'm angry, I fix my problem and smile anyway, well that was me two days ago when that jackass didn't break my heart.

Sophia is sleeping on the chair near me and my gaze softened, she really is a true friend.

I sighed, standing up and went to the bathroom to shower.

I'm not going to mope around, I'm going to live my life, for Sophia.

For the only one who's there for me.

After taking a shower I changed into a white flowy skirt and a floral crop-top.

I brushed my hair and slipped on the glittery pink flats.

I knelled beside Sophia and shook her awake, she stirred and cracked an eye open, she also looked like s**t. There are dark circles under her eyes and she looked paler than usual.

"Sorry for moping the past forty-eight hours." I said guilty and she smiled, patting my hand, "It's okay, what are friends for?" she asked and I smiled back.

She stood up to go take a shower and I replaced her position in the chair and sighed, looking out of the window in a daze.

Sophia came back wearing the clothes she has in my closet.

She smiled at me and gave me a hand to help me stand up, I grasped her hand and let her pull me up.

I smiled weakly but it turned into a grimace so we walked out of my room and outside the house to her car.

We got in and she started to drive to out favorite coffee shop that we always used to go -with Sean, included-

I stared out of the window with a blank expression, the scene two days ago playing over and over in my mind like a broken disk.

Even if I tried to sleep, listen to music or do anything just to forget, I couldn't, because there's this gap in my heart where I know Sean belongs but I just start to build up walls and shut myself out. I've been like this before, when mom left, but now I'm worse.

Barely eating, barely drinking water, barely being alive.

He made me an emotional wreck, like what I was when mom left.

I took a deep breath but the ache in my heart is still there, watching and reading romance novels/movies, I thought everything was just bull, that it's only in those books and movies when the girl's heart get's broken by the bad boy and she feels like crap, like she wants to die, like there's no use in living.

When the girl felt like her heart went into a bagillion pieces and she eats ice cream, watches chick flicks, the boy comes back says sorry they come back together and get married and have a bagillion babies because of their healthy s3x life.

Well, the ending is bullshit for me, the other parts... that's what I'm living in right now.

I hate feeling like this, vulnerable, crappy, a loud of bull and lifeless.

I haven't touched a book to read yet so that means this stage is where my life is ending.

Sophia stopped the car and I snapped out of my state looking around the area to find that we're in the coffee shop's parking lot.

I stepped out and we went in the shop, smelling the delicious aroma of brewed coffee that I always loved when I go here but now it just made me sick to my stomach.

We went to a booth next to a bunch of chatting girls and I sat down, placing my arms on the table and staring out of the window in a lifeless daze.

Is this how it feels like to be dead? Lifeless? absolute and utter bullshit of a life? Maybe, but I have to ask fellow lifeless dead peeps if they also feel like this.

Sophia went to the counter to order while I stayed here, my eyes just focused outside, watching the leaves fall off from their branches and onto the ground, leaving the home they grew up in, leaving the feeling of comfort and just to be stepped on by people, who don't care about the leaves or how they feel being away from their home, from the comfort.

I suddenly perked up when I heard his name.

"-Sean's leaving town." a girl said gasping slightly while her friends gasped dramatically that made me roll my eyes.

He's leaving?

"Yeah, heard that he got a scholarship to a prestigious private school in L.A, I would be jealous of that but I'm going to miss him and his fine ass." the girl continues and I clench my fists my knuckles turning white.

I'm not angry at the girl for calling my two-day ex boyfriend fine, I'm angry that he's just leaving like that, I'm doubting if he even cared for me.

"When is he leaving?" another girl asks as Sophia sits down and places a cup of coffee in front of me.

"Now."

That made me stand up, making the coffee tilt and spill its contents on the ground while the cup rolled off the table and on the floor, shattering into pieces, like my heart did two days ago.

I really should stop bringing my heart break into everything.

Everyone in the coffee shop stopped and stared at me, I don't care if I embarrass myself, the only thing running in my mind is: "He's leaving."

I ran out of the coffee shop while Sophia is yelling my name but I didn't listen, I ran.