Being His Mate

Chapter 16

I knocked on the door frantically, when the door opened, Michelle -Sean's grandmother- opened the door.

She smiled at me.

She must have not known about the break up, then.

I didn't let her even talk when I rushed out: "Where's Sean?" I may have sounded rude but at the moment, I didn't care, all I care about is that Sean's leaving without even a sorry, an explanation, a goodbye.

"He just left." she said quietly and I started running again, I went to the town's exit, running faster my legs burning and my throat clogged, stopping a sob.

My eyes turned blurry but I kept on running until I reached the exit, I panted, stopping near the exit, I stared far away where I saw a red car drive farther, turning smaller by the second.

I didn't have to use a telescope to know that it's Sean's car, the plate number already said so.

I sobbed, covering my hand over my mouth, my shoulders shook while I cried, tears falling from my eyes.

I know I shouldn't be sobbing over a boy who broke my heart but I can't stop crying.

He was there when mom disappeared (also Sophia was there), he was the one who always cheered me up when Sophia's sick, or at home, or has volleyball practice.

He was there when I lost Timmy.

He was there when I got my period -okay, I should have been with Sophia when I had my period but Sophia had her period then and was having bad cramps- he even got me tampons.

He was there when Sophia can't, I sound harsh but it's true.

But he just gave up even with all we'd been through together.

He gave up.

I hate people who give up.

They're scared of commitment or facing their demons.

Thunder clapped and rain started pouring, I flinched at the sound of the thunder but I didn't move from my spot, I kept my head down and I glared at the ground.

You're so pathetic, Emily.

I feel like in one of those movies where the sad scene would start raining and she's crying, bla bla bla.

I clenched my fists, raising my head and glaring at the clear road in front of me, "f**k you!" I yell, the sound of thunder clapped again but I didn't flinch this time.

"f**k you, Sean!" I yell again,

I must have looked crazy but at the time I didn't care, the ache in my chest gotten worse and I placed a hand on my chest, and took a deep breath.

I can't breath.

I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.

I shut my eyes closed but the tears were no more, I knelled down on the ground, my wet hair sticking to my face, I bit my lip to stop a sob and I just hiccuped.

I didn't know that this kind of heart break can change me into this, I've lost so many important people in my life.

Tommy.

Mom.

Sean.

But also dad, he isn't the father I once knew.

My body shook and I cried but no tears fell, I hiccuped, sobbed and clenched my hair in my hands and rocked myself forward and backward, I opened my eyes when someone wrapped an arm around me, I raised my head and stared at Sophia looking at me sadly.

I smiled, "He's gone." I said my voice wobbly.

"He left. Like everyone did." I say laughing slightly, "Why can't anyone love me?" I ask her raising one shoulder and she shook her head, furrowing her eyebrows.

"I love you, J.E. I'm your best friend and I'll always be here for you no matter what happens. I'm not like them, I won't leave you, I swear on football." she said to me seriously. I would have laughed but I only smiled, she loves football and football is a serious matter to her so I'll take her promise.

If I lost someone again, I think I might lose myself.

* * * * *

I shivered, wrapping the blanket around me as Sophia walks in my room in a maid costume and a tray, she places the tray down and I stare at the soup, water and medicine on the table.

"What am I going to do with that?" I ask and she glared at me, "Eat it, stupid."

Well, I did eat, I'm not getting myself thinner! Sean's not that important.

But, f**k him again because I got sick in the rain, it's all his fault.

"Are you okay now?" she asks and I shrug, "A little." she smiled hugging me and I placed my head on her shoulder, closing my eyes.

My dad walked in and said in a deep voice: "Please leave us." Sophia did leave but I know that she'll be eavesdropping and just be outside of my door.

"What happened?" he asked while glancing at his wrist watch, I kept quiet, silently staring at him. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but here, Like he's just forced to be a father and then after this he'll leave and ignore me again.

"Don't make me ask you again," he said in a harsh tone that I almost flinched in front of him, "I got sick." I said and he nodded, "Drink medicine or go to the hospital." he said then walked out.

I sighed, closing my eyes. See? he doesn't care, he just does that so the social services wont take me away making a scandal for the family name.

All he cares about is his wh0res, the money and the firm.

Sad but true.

I can't sugarcoat it now when almost everyone already knows. Not everyone, just people inside the mansion, outside he looks like the loving father but when inside he's the cold ass.

Maybe if I end my life now, everyone will be happy, dad wouldn't have to sneak in his wh0res at night, Sophia wouldn't have to take care of me like a parent every time and Michelle wouldn't have to worry for me even after the break up with his "grandson".

I'm just a heavy weight on their shoulders that keeps them from what they can do or who they can be.

I'm just this pathetic girl who hides behind a diamond mask that could fool anyone.