MONTE COSTA SERIES 4: ESTUARY OF LOVE

Kabanata 9

IVLER swallowed hard then looked away when Linus saw him walking towards the speedboat. Nahuli siya ng higit kalahating oras dahil pinag-isipan pa niya kung pupunta ba siya o hindi.

His thoughts are in complete haywire right now, and with all the unfamiliar feelings occupying his heart, he doesn't think he could still resist the urge to join Linus tonight... especially when he thought that if he wouldn't join him, Micah might. Isang bagay na hindi niya maintindihan kung bakit ikinaiirita niya. Tila ba maisip pa lang niyang magkasama ang mga ito ay para na siyang pinagkakaitan ng isang napakahalagang bagay.

It may sound selfish but all he knows is that... it feels good to be around Linus. Sa mga nakalipas na araw na inokupa ni Micah ang atensyon at oras ni Linus, pakiramdam ni Ivler ay... may napakahalagang bahagi ng pagkatao niyang inagaw. It made him angry and frustrated, but Ivler is so terrified to even put an exact word to what he feels whenever he sees Linus with Micah.

Ang alam niya lang ay mali iyon dahil pareho silang lalake ni Linus, ngunit siguro, mahirap talaga minsan talikuran ang mga bawal kaya heto siya ngayon, nakatayo sa harap ni Linus na nakaupo na sa speedboat at halatang kanina pa naghihintay.

"I uh..." He cleared his throat. "I fell asleep." He glanced at Linus shyly. "Sorry."

Linus smirked then stood up, waving the halfway bottle of whisky in his hand. "It's fine. I already brought company in case you wouldn't come because you're mad at me."

Napalunok siya sandali bago sinalubong ang tingin nitong sa kanya pa rin nakatutok habang may munting kurbang nakaukit sa manipis nitong mga labi.

"I'm... not mad. I was just having a bad day..." he lied. He's mad at him but he couldn't accept the truth about that anger. Humugot na lang siya ng hininga saka kunwari ay tumingin sa paligid. "Hindi ka na dapat naghintay. Paano kung hindi ako dumating?"

The smirk on Linus' lips slightly widened. "If you didn't come, then I wouldn't go anymore. But since you're here now, I could catch some fish tonight."

Kumabog ang puso niya sa hindi malamang dahilan at ang mukha niya ay uminit. Mabuti na lang at madilim na ang lugar kaya hindi iyon makikita ni Linus kung hindi ay baka hindi niya na alam ang gagawin. Napahugot tuloy siyang muli ng hininga saka yumuko at nagsalita. "Y—You could've called Sandro or... Micah instead. Bakit... hindi na lang sila ang tinawag mo?"

Nagkibit-balikat ito saka binuhay na ang makina ng speedboat. "I don't know, but I just wanna go fishing if it's you who'll join me."

Napaangat siya ng tingin at napatitig dito habang nakabibinging kumakabog ang kanyang puso. What's going on with him? He... never felt his heart beat this hard before, not even for his ex-girlfriends he thought he's madly in love with. Bakit... kay Linus niya pa ito nararamdaman?

"Come on, Beckham. Hop in."

Napabuga siya ng malalim na hininga bago tuluyang sumakay sa speedboat. Ibinigay naman nito sa kanya ang bote ng alak saka nito minaneho ang speedboat.

Ivler decided to just drink some liquor while he's silently watching Linus drive the speedboat. Nang tumigil na ito matapos makalayo sa pampang, iniwas niya ang kanyang tingin at ipinasa kay Linus ang bote ng alak.

"Do you think we'd catch some tonight? We didn't when we last tried to fish," ani Linus habang nilalagyan ng pain ang fishing rod.

Inagaw naman niya ito at siya ang naghagis sa tubig ng dulo saka siya ngumisi. "Maybe if it's the more attractive one who'll hold the rod, we will."

They chuckled softly while Linus is slightly shaking his head. Nang makita niya itong direktang uminom sa bote ng alak, napalunok siya at napaiwas ng tingin.

That's... another indirect kiss.

He drew in some air when his cheeks felt hot. What the f**k did he just think? Masama na talaga itong nangyayari sa kanya.

Tumikhim siya sandali. "So uhm... is Micah gonna stay here until you leave with Sandro?"

Umiling ito. "Nope. Tumawag ang daddy niya at pinauuwi na siya sa susunod na araw. She'll leave MC before I go."

Mahina siyang tumango at pilit iniwasan ang titig ni Linus. "You said you'll go somewhere. Sandro's job as a soldier isn't a secret. Are you... just like him?"

"Soldier?" Linus laughed softly. "Yeah, we're sort of like that. We're partners."

Napatitig siya rito. "At your job or... partners like romantic partners—"

Napahinto siya nang mapagtanto ang mga huling salitang lumabas sa kanyang bibig. Uminit ang mukha niya nang mapagtanto ang natanong. Naiwas niya tuloy muli ang kanyang tingin saka siya lumunok. Ano ba naman iyong tanong niya? Anong nangyayari sa kanya?

"Forget what I asked. It was a stupid question."

Umismid si Linus saka umiling-iling. "We're not a couple obviously. Hindi kami talo, Ivler."

Napahugot siya ng hininga at ang mga mata ay tumutok muli kay Linus na abalang uminom ng alak. "Because you're both men?"

Linus wiped the stain of whisky on his lips before he passed him the bottle without tearing his gaze off of him. "Yeah."

Hindi alam ni Ivler kung bakit ngunit parang may sumuntok sa dibdib niya dahil sa sagot nito. Did he expect a different answer? A more broad one, perhaps? Kung oo ay bakit? Why did his answer hit him differently as if it touched the most vulnerable part of his heart?

Ano ba talagang nangyayari sa kanya?

He drew in another sharp breath then jugged the bottle. Napangiwi siya nang naparami masyado ang kanyang nainom habang si Linus naman ay hindi naiwasang matawa saka nito inagaw ang bote mula sa kanya.

"Chill, man. The night's still young." Uminom ito sandali bago nagpatuloy sa pagsasalita. "When will your trainings resume? I heard your team will join the upcoming world cup."

"Next month," simple niyang sagot, tila nawalan ng enerhiyang makipag-usap dahil sa biglang pagbigat ng kanyang dibdib sa hindi niya mapaliwanag na dahilan.

"I watched some replay games. You're good, Ivler. Sayang. I might not be able to watch the next game live."

Malamig niya itong tinignan. "Why? Kailan ba ang susunod na bakasyon ninyo ni Sandro?"

"Bakasyon?" Ngumisi ito at nagkibit-balikat. "If we will live," natatawa nitong dugtong, halatang tinatamaan na ng alak.

His face turned sour. "That's not funny, Linus."

Tumikhim ito, halatang nagpigil ng tawa. "Fine. I'm sorry. I just... got so used to those kind of jokes. Hindi ko alam kung kailan ang susunod na bakasyon. Our job is too complicated and we cannot take a break until we finish the task. Of course I cannot disclose any details to you but, yeah. Walang kasiguraduhan." Ngumisi ito habang nakatitig sa kanya. "Why? You wanna wait for me so you can buy me a drink?"

Inirapan niya ito saka siya sumimsim ng alak sa inagaw na bote. "You're the one who should buy me a drink, Shault."

Mahina itong humalakhak. "Sige. Kapag nabuhay ako."

"Well you should. You said it yourself. You wanna have a family so..."

Napalunok siya nang maisip na darating ang araw na mag-aasawa nga ito at magkakaroon ng sariling pamilya. Dapat maging masaya siya hindi ba? Pero bakit parang... ang hirap isiping mangyayari iyon balang-araw?

Napahugot siya ng malalim na hininga. "Hindi nakakabuntis ang multo, Linus kaya siguraduhin mong mabubuhay ka."

Linus laughed. "Gago, ang babaw ng joke mo."

He smirked. "Eh bakit tumatawa ka?"

Kinagat nito ang ibabang labi saka nagkibit-balikat. "Malay ko. I can't help it. It sounded funny because it's you who said it."

Ivler shook his head. "You're really weird."

Ngumisi ito at tinaasan siya ng kilay. "Then why do you still go with me, hmm?"

He sighed and answered with honesty. "It's because it feels good to have you around eventhough I have to deal with your weirdness sometimes."

"Or probably because you like me," Linus said in a lower tone before he jugged the bottle. Hindi niya tuloy narinig nang maayos ang sinasabi nito kaya napakunot siya ng noo.

"Sorry, I didn't catch that."

Linus smirked then shook his head. "Nothing." Tumikhim ito at ibinigay sa kanya ang bote. Nang muli itong maayos na nakaupo, sandali pa itong humugot ng malalim na hininga at pinakawalan iyon. "Do you have any plans to settle down or you'd rather be a bachelor forever?"

Sandali siyang hindi nakakibo habang kinakapa ang sagot sa tanong nito, at nang tuluyang bumuka ang kanyang mga labi, maging si Ivler ay nagulat sa kanyang naging sagot.

"I wanna have a family, too. I just don't think I can handle kids."

"So you're gonna look for a wife, hmm? A woman who can build a home with you?"

He stared back at Linus' eyes. "Just like what you want since... we're straight... right?" he asked, but why did he feel like he's doubting his own words?

Linus flashed a fake smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Of course we are..." He let out a sharp breath then looked up at the stars before he swallowed hard. "Of course we are..."