Ghosted

Chapter 3 POV Amelia

POV AMELIA

I left the hotel after a couple of hours and although I was satisfied I still felt incredibly guilty. I got into my car and before I started to drive I went into the glove compartment and took out my engagement ring and wedding band and quickly put them back on. I pulled out of the car park and I couldn’t wait to get home to bed. I put on the radio and to my delight one of my favourite songs came on the 1970’s disco station. I was singing along as I pulled up at the lights and I noticed a couple in the car next to me were looking at me like I was crazy but I didn’t care. By the time I got to my drive way I felt like I could actually go out to a club because I had so much adrenaline from dancing and singing and the high from having unbelievable s*x with a complete stranger, but when I turned the engine off and the music stopped the fact that I had just spent an evening in a hotel with a hot stud suddenly made my heart beat out of chest with anxiety. My stomach was turning as I headed inside and I knew that I had to have a shower straight away and head to bed. I opened the front door and shouted “Richard, I’m home” I kicked off my shoes and hung up my coat. “I’ve had such a long day, I’m going straight to bed” I went up stairs and had a shower and washed the lube off my skin and I couldn’t stop thinking about this guy Mark. The s*x was out of this world and his body was hot and he was so handsome. I got settled into bed and I seen that I had a message on the hook up app. It was from Mark and it said ‘I had a great time with you tonight. I can’t wait to see you again” Although it was exciting to hear from him because he was incredible I didn’t want to sit there messaging some other guy in the bed I shared with my husband. I just sent him back a kissing face emoji. I put my phone down and turned off the light. I shouted “I’m off to sleep baby, I love you” and I moved my pillows to get comfy. I lay there trying to sleep and the feeling of guilt was tearing me apart. This was the first time I had met a guy from the app but I had slept with one other guy which just happened to be my therapist and although it was great, I still felt awful. In that moment I thought that if I admit my indiscretions to my husband Richard that he could some how forgive me and maybe I could forgive myself. I sat up straight and I decided it was now or never. I put on the light and I looked at our wedding photo next to the bed. He looked so handsome and happy and as I started to talk I was already starting to back out of my plan of admitting that I had cheated on him. I picked up the photo. “Richard..” I shouted into the hallway and then nothing else would come out. “I just wanted to tell you..” and then I lost my bottle as I looked into his beautiful big blue eyes. “I love you” I said and I put the photo down and turned off the light and willed myself to go to sleep.

The next morning I got another message from Mark. He seemed desperate to see me and I loved that he made me feel so wanted. But I wondered if I should meet him again because although our s*x together had been out of this world the shame I felt after it kind of out weighed the thrill of it all. But as my friend Mandy said it was only s*x and it didn’t mean anything. I had always had a high s*x drive and when I told Mandy I was driving myself insane by how horny I was she recommended the hook up app that she used. Mandy had been single for years and she never wanted to settle down. She was sick of getting dressed up and going out to find guys or girls in a bar to sleep with so it made sense for her to sit at home and hit a button when she wanted s*x. We sat together one night and she created a profile name for me and I was glad that it didn’t require a picture. She called me Sweet-Sugar and although it was a bit cheesy it wasn’t as aggressive as her name

Bisexual-Blonde-bombshell. Within 5 minutes a message came through from a guy asking me to meet him in a hotel near by and Mandy recognised his profile name. “Oh that’s Lion-Alpha, I slept with a girl called Courtney that had s*x with him before, she said he’s totally hot and that the s*x was incredible. She told me everything about him so I messaged him and asked for a hook up but apparently he only likes brunettes” I pulled a face “so she gave him a good review? It’s not exactly romantic” Mandy rolled her eyes “this guy is hot and the best part is he’s a total f**k boy. He’s not looking for any kind of connection. He’s just what you need” but I still wasn’t convinced “did she say that he’s nice?” I asked and she laughed “no he’s not nice, but he’s hot and he has a huge c**k, so just go for it” but I was stalling for time “what do you mean he’s not nice?” She shrugged her shoulders “Courtney told me that there was no conversation,she didn’t even know his real name. She asked him to go down on her and he said no and when it was done he asked her to leave right away. He didn’t even offer her a drink or walk her to the door. Courtney said she felt like she had outstayed her welcome by just putting her cloths back on. But that the s*x was great so she messaged him to ask if they could meet up again and he ghosted her, but honestly Amelia she said that he was fantastic. She couldn’t recommend him enough” I was in deep thought for a moment “let me think about it” I said and she nodded her head. “Of course, take your time” I had already decided this guy wasn’t for me when later that night I was in bed with my vibrator watching my favourite porn star when I realised I needed s*x and I needed it sooner rather than later. I picked up my phone and went into the app and sent this guy Lion-Alpha a message to say I wanted to meet him. He sent me a message back saying that he was free the next night and he sent me the name of the hotel and a time. I didn’t know what to say back so I just sent him a thumbs up emoji. I felt a little foolish but I literally couldn’t wait to get my hands on him. I spent all that afternoon fantasising about this guy but I had never even met him and I must have made myself come at least 6 times. That night I met Mandy for dinner and she screeched with excitement when I told her that I had decided to go for it. “You won’t regret it Amelia, he’s supposed to be great. I met up with that girl Courtney again last night and I told her you had seen his profile and that he had messaged you and she was so turned on when I told her you’re thinking about meeting him. She said that he turned up in a suit because he had just finished work. She said that she liked that he was clean cut but when he took off his cloths he had a huge lion tattoo on his shoulder. You know I love guys with tattoos and so does she. But just don’t try to kiss him because he’s not really into that. But at least you know shes been with him and he’s not some kind of serial killer that’s going to murder you” she said with a laugh and then she immediately regretted it. She put her hand on top of mines “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking” she said with a concerned look on her face. “Don’t be silly, I know you were just joking” she knew I didn’t appreciate her joking about things like that but I must admit that because this girl Courtney had been with this guy it did make me feel safe to meet him. Mandy lifted her glass for a toast “to Amelia, she’s finally going to get f****d by a hot stud” I had never told Mandy that I had slept with my therapist earlier that year because I had been so ashamed of myself but it was sweet that she was excited for me. I clinked glasses with her and she said “you won’t regret this” and I hoped she was right.