trying to do a long distance relationship that's what I'm on right now since October 18th 2024 to the present
1818 Words
on October 18th 2024 a female came into my inbox on f*******: it's crazy though I wasn't looking to be in another relationship really to tell you the truth but it was something about this woman that I was so intrigued with and I decided to start talking with her or shall I say texting with her cuz nowadays people feel better talking behind the keyboards and I actually talk to you on the phone or video chat with you which y'all might say that oh it's a scam I don't think it's a scam I kind of been talking to this email since then it's about to be 4 months on the 18th of this month we've been going strong don't get me wrong but it has been a lot of challenges for me to continue with this because I'm not used to really being in a long distance relationship the last relationship I was in it wasn't long distance it should have never happened sorry I'm not going to talk about that that's the past that's for it to now is 2025 now and I'm trying to be in as long distance relationship and it's kind of getting on my nerves to tell you the truth because her work is what's like having us class a lot and I get it but like I said to her what if you didn't meet me how are you going to be working her response was I don't know which don't make no sense to me but at the end of the day it is what it is but I'm learning that long distance relationship is not for the weak and I get it but me and her have so much in common and I really have failed deeply for her to the point where I dedicate music to her and then it's not just her she has a 7-year-old daughter and I'm just like ready one day to finally meet I'm in Hopeful though I have my asked a lot of people like how do you deal with being in a long distance relationship what do you do I've asked a lot of questions and I understand it now do I like it no but at the end of the day it could be awesome I'm hopeful thinking a lot about it and then I want my journey to start once I move out of this state again cuz last year I was back in Detroit to help my sister I have moved back there like December of 2023 I moved back to Arizona October 2024 and been back since I'm still here in other words life's still kind of being difficult but I'm dealing with it I have been going to school online continuing my education with receiving my bachelor's degree in criminal justice however that's starting to be a real challenging for me too it's like my focus is not really there no more due to what I'll be thinking about at home and then my health is not as good as it was at first you know they say old age your body changes and I believe that strongly it does I'm not even 50 yet and I'll be feeling like I'm a senior citizen which I'm not as in your system but at the end of the day that's sometimes how my body be feeling because I'll be doing so much and still feeling like I'm young and damn well I'm not young anymore I try to keep it moving you know I like walking a lot and stuff like that I don't have a problem with getting on the bus and then I do go sometimes to go donate plasma to get a little money you know to help out where I'm living at but at the end of the day sometimes I feel like I'm not appreciated I think the only one that really appreciate what I do is my daughter I don't think everybody else does that's just how I feel and I will always express how I feel I have been doing a little t****k videos not a lot I have been doing music too but I feel the urge to rap or something but for the most part I basically just be chilling and then texting with my lady friend or whatever it's fine though I tipped my hat off to those that's able to be in a long distance relationship and it works out because maybe it works out for them because the person that they're talking to really comply with what they ask for like video chatting or talking on the phone something like that but that's not the case with my situation we be on this app texting back and forth or what have you sending pictures whatever whatever but sometimes that s*** gets old as f*** and then when you continue to keep asking a person and telling them what you want and stuff and then they don't comply with what you want and then that make you feel some type of way and then you be sending up here thinking like what the f***I'm not asking for much I asked for a little you can't even give me that so then that make you want to talk to other people and stuff that will give you attention in the communication and I have been doing that but it's nothing serious you know what I'm saying but I don't understand something I really don't and at the end of the day life happens I get it but you you still have to think about what that person is asking of you and comply cuz if they comply with what you're asking why can't you do the same that's where I'm mad about everything right now if I'm sitting up here doing what you ask of me why can't you do what I ask of you it's just a little that's crazy but guess what though it is what it is cuz I'm learning to deal with it do I like it no but eventually things will connect the way that it should it's just time and if you don't have that you have nothing cuz like I always say time waits for no one it continues to go even when you stop that's one thing that keeps me going at the end of the day but when I was in Detroit I enjoy being around my family again and having fun don't get me wrong but I was missing being back in Arizona for real but you know everything happen for a reason and I was grateful and happy to be able to come back and was able to pay my own way back because when I was in Detroit I was working for a minute doing canvases going to door to door telling people to vote or I was standing wherever I understand that and tell them about the job or whatever that I was doing recruiting people that was fun meeting a lot of different people and I did enjoy that don't give me wrong until I fell down and then it was like oh can't do this no more I guess I thought that I could still be like working and stuff like that and not looking at the fact that sparkle you're not no spring chicken no more I don't never want to feel like I can't do something but only way I will feel that way if my body just completely shut down and be like it's enough Sparkle other than that I will continue to do what I need to do but I stay prayed up and I always believe that everything is going to be okay and I know that I just got to stay strong and wait and be patient and sometimes I want things to happen right away because my patients be weighing real thin to the point where I don't want to wait no more I just want everything to happen when I wanted to happen but unfortunately it doesn't happen that way so guess who got to be patient look in the mirror I do so with that being said patience I got to have it and keep on keeping on and always believe that if I can believe it I can achieve it and if I continue to try everything will be okay I will never give up cuz I already know that failure is not an option I say this to say I know that everything that has happened to me is some reason why it happened and I guess that I was the chosen one and things have to happen and I always say that everything in life that I have been through with going through still it's my testimony is not going to be my forever life because my forever life I am a successful woman I am doing what I want to do happy have peace in my own have my own everything that's my happy and I already know it's going to happen it's just patience something that I got to learn to have and I know these things take time and at the end of the day I'm going to be fine I strongly believe that once I move this time for the better my home is going to be Texas that's where I'm going and I believe my life is going to change once I'm there and I won't struggle no More not need nobody to do a damn thing for me going to be My own Boss my own person and I will definitely have a peace of mind and in hopes of my girlfriend and her child will follow once I'm settled in Texas I'm hopeful for that but don't know if it's going to happen or not but it's not going to stop me from living my life cuz I'm not getting younger I'm getting older actually and to deal with a lot that I have dealt with over the years I do not want to deal with those unacceptable this year or any other year cuz I'm not going to keep dealing with drama or people and their BS and I will always keep it 100 cuz that's the best way to be and if it's something that's bothering me or anything like that trust and believe whoever it is it's going to know about it I just have to learn to be verbal and not hold so much in cuz it's not good to do that but everything's going to be fine I strongly believe that cuz God got the last say I believe that too I'm a strong firm believer and change is going to come I strongly believe that
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