I found love again with a beautiful Nigerian woman
3242 Words
I joined this group called Snatching Pride it's crazy cause I was talking to a lot of women before how we connected she liked my picture and she hearted so I responded to her liking my picture before she ever liked my picture I was always looking at her pictures on her page but I never said anything cause she wasn't always online at first I had told her that I wasn't looking for another relationship cause I was healing from the loss of my late wife but then it was something about her that made me feel that she's my everything and I needed to give love try again so on 5/30/2024 that's when I decided that I wanted to be with her so I started opening up about my life and being very truthful and honest about me letting her into Sparkle world I did know that she would've been still interested when I told her about my man then she surprised me when she said that that we can all be together cause at first I was gonna let him go but once she said what she said it was all good cause now I have the best of both worlds
I noticed that I have become very jealous she be posting her pictures on her profile or all her f*******: story and she's such a beautiful looking woman you know the thing is trying to do this distant relationship I've never done this before nothing she's in a whole different country than I am the one thing that I'm finding and myself is that I don't want nobody else talking to her definitely not inboxing her you know but at the end of the day it is what it is and I have to work on my jealousy side I fell deeply in love with this woman I FaceTime with her I listen to her audio she is everything that I want and need I'm so happy for her but I don't want to scare her away from me being so addicted to her I don't want to do that so I have to work on that part it's like my focus been off cuz I do go to school online to get my bachelor's degree in criminal justice but my focus been off cuz so much been going on around me to the point where my focus is not on school and I'm not doing too great either like one thing that's happening is my sister she's like very clingy to me and saying wherever I go she want to go we kind of failed out because I had cooked breakfast and she thought it on the floor or come to find out the reason why she did that because she was feeling some type of way I want spending on time with her I'll spend more time with my goddaughter who's been here and she fell some type of way cuz we was laughing and having good times and didn't include her in anything well when she threw that food on the floor I felt disrespected it felt like how a Caucasian person was spit in a black person face that's how I felt when that happened but finally when she knew that I was talking about going back to Arizona and it was just me and her here she opened up and told me why she was acting that way it was crazy to hear that because she's a grown ass woman she's 53 years old and was acting like a child that s*** was crazy but at the end of the day I love my sister deeply and if she wanted to travel with me and go where I'm going she welcome to go because I don't want her to think that she doesn't matter in my life she does everyone had a ups and downs family friends whatever but you know at the end of the day everything's going to work itself out and things are going to be better cuz of plan is to move to Texas until 5 bedroom house and get the f out of Detroit cuz ain't nothing really here with drama and b******* and people I like you a friend and can't find all day now they full of it they fake you know I'm saying and I'm over it and I'm tired of it I'm going to live my life for Sparkle that's what I'm going to do I have to cuz I only have one life to live I will be 47 January 10th 20:25 and I cannot keep on living my life for everybody else I have to live for me and if ain't nobody riding with me and they not with me or against me then I need to stay the f*** away from me that's exactly how I feel right now no cap I'm a strong believer of God I know that everything that's happening to me and everything that I'm going through is supposed to happen and I supposed to be strong and get through it and I know I will and due time but I'm not going to sit up here and make it seem like I'm not strong I'm kind of strong sometimes I feel weak and I feel like the walls and everything is caving in on me and then my life is never going to change but I know but patience and strong support systems behind me I got this but it just taking so much time for the light to be at the end of that tunnel that I just keep on walking through and it's dark and dark and dark and dark I know that a light is going to be at the end one day someday I don't know when it's going to be but whenever that happens I will never be broke again in my life I know this with the gift that God gave to me this voice I have and the world will be able to hear me eventually once I got the money to put all my music out there on all the platforms and people get to stream and really screaming my music I'm going to be that one and I can't wait to everything just unfolds and all the ones thought that I was so delusional that it comes to a reality and a face could just be tight or they mouth can just drop to the floor and just feel stupid I can't wait for that day to happen and I know it's going to eventually right now things just taking a lot of time you know and that's fine I have time I've been patient all this time but I know that it's all going to come to an end but when it do all those that said that I was delusional going to feel like crap and I'm just going to sit back and enjoy life and laugh at those that did not believe that thought I was so delusional it's all gravy though cuz I know that everything has a breaking point and has an ending and I know my ending is going to be a happy ending I'm not going to be sad no more you already see that I found love again although she's in Nigeria but I found love again we miss so much together it's crazy as f*** I mean I don't know like how does mommy just got me so addicted like for real I love talking to her I love everything about her there's nothing that I would change about her okay she is younger than me but I don't look at that it's about the person and her conversation is awesome everything about her is awesome and I wouldn't change nothing about her I love her to pieces and it's crazy when I talk about her I feel that my breath leaving my body because it's so awesome and she is too and I wouldn't change her I'm going to have to rethink about saying that this moment is the one for me because lately I've been feeling something and it has not been a good feeling she's been posting pictures on f*******: on her story she forever shaking her ass or showing her ass that leaves a nasty taste in my mouth for the simple fact is you shouldn't be doing that I don't like things like that it's one thing just showing your pictures out there okay that's cool but when you always showing your ass that leaves and nasty taste in my mouth and if you are supposed to be with me you don't supposed to be on social media like that showing you behind now what if on my f*******: story I'm flicking my tongue I don't think she would like that cuz I do have a very long tongue I do understand that this is how she is I guess but when it comes to if you in a relationship certain things you shouldn't be doing that's just how I feel and then was weird yesterday I haven't got one message from her but yet you imposting pictures and everything all on social media I feel like why haven't you said anything to me I don't know if she's the one starting second guessing myself now even after having a crying moment with her I have been talking to someone else but that's about it maybe I should just do me that's what the Nigerian said to me you should do you I don't like what she said that to me I explained to her what I felt that that meant and I mean she end up apologizing but let's just be real here I feel like the 30th of this month will make it a month calling ourself a couple but I don't even think that's real anymore I could be wrong though but when you doing something that I told you not to do that I didn't like and you did it again my work that means my word doesn't mean anything so at this point I should really do me but see she's not going to like if I do mean to see it be crazy I don't want to do nothing like that but I'm seriously thinking about it because if I already told you something that I don't like and you did it again that means you basically said f****** or should I say forget me I'm going to do it anyway so that just leaves of this tasteful in my mouth it's crazy cuz I can remember our beginning was happy smiling and we was able to FaceTime each other a lot I haven't FaceTime with her in a while because she kept on saying that it's her internet but like my daughter said if it's her internet she would not be able to post pictures or none of that so my daughter feeling like she on some BS I don't want for me and her too the part each other because I really was seriously thinking about passport so I could go to her country and actually meet her in person and see what it's like that's something that I really wanted to do but if you send up here not even checking on me seeing how I'm doing but yet like in my pictures on my story and stuff but I still haven't heard nothing from you something ain't right about that picture and at the end of the day I could just say you know forget it and keep it pushing you know cuz I just don't know right now I don't know if it's a test or what it is and hopefully I pass it if that's what it is I think I'm away at all I see what happened cuz when you assume something that's not right you need to have 100% fat and that's what I don't have so I'm going to weigh it out and see what happens I don't have time for anyone playing games or definitely playing with my heart I don't need that sometimes I don't like that I can feel people energy and the energy that I'm feeling from her is not good for the simple fact is she doing her that's what I think like I said I could be wrong with her actions showing that I'm correct so with that being said hope everything will be someone I really want to spend the rest of my life with but I don't know if I have to wait and see what's going to happen to wear it out cuz right now her ass is showing like I'm not here but we're not in a distance relationship she could be back with her ex because she mentioned something about her she said that her ex want to help her but she's saying that she's not going to let that ex help her because she want to be back with her and she don't want to be with her like that no more because she cheated on her
I really trust her to the point where if it was something that she needed and I can't provide it I wouldn't mind it if her ex did it for her crazy huh but that's when you know that you really trust the person that you're with that they want cheat on you or do anything to have you thinking if they're doing something they don't have no business doing I don't want to be the type of person that don't trust the person I'm with although we're in a distance relationship I don't want to be that type of person but sometimes when you give a person an inch they take a mile and they continue to take that mile and then you end up laugh alone why because you trust them trust that's a big word right there and I feel like if you in a relationship maybe can't trust each other then what are you doing it's not worth being in a relationship if there's no trust that's how I feel I can only speak on me no one else but if you are and involved with somebody and you can't trust them don't be with them that's how I feel about that too trust communication honesty out of main things that we need in life definitely if you trying to have a relationship with anybody you always supposed to be able to trust them you always supposed to be able to communicate with them and you always supposed to be honest and you know what else no secrets cuz whatever you do and the dark it will come to the light the truth will always be prevail even if you're still trying to hide it and haven't got caught yet you will eventually get caught so don't think you slick cuz you're not cuz of truth always will come to the light know that believe that cuz at the end of the day like I always tell everybody I am a open book and if there's anything that they want to know about me just ask that's all you got to do ask me and it's up to me whether or not if I want to tell you or not cuz in this world we live in today people always hide and seekers and then want to tell you once you on fell deeply in love with them then you find a dark side of them something that you didn't know about then they want to find to tell you about it once they felt like they were comfortable to tell you but I feel like this you should have said it in the beginning and let me make my own decision but you didn't which is crazy I think that's how a lot of relationships don't last because we find out things that we should have found out in the beginning and then once you decide you want to tell it don't last at all whatsoever and you think it's going to last but it's not cuz there was something that you should have said in the beginning sometimes the truth does that you free but then sometimes it don't but it depends on when you told that truth that's how I feel
I'm starting to think that Nigerian Queen is not for me we have not been in touch with each other like we was at first it seems different and distance the last thing that she said to me was can I download PayPal and she'll give me the information to use but then today she tells me thank you because I saw the picture of her little sister cuz she's graduating and that's awesome but I still feel distance from her and it's like now what's my king rescue me I'm not really going to be on social media no more I'm going to deactivate all my pages cuz right now all this is just fun that's it healing time that's all until I'm with who I want to be with and it's going to be him everyone is just not for me and I'm learning that so many liars and deceivers out here it's a shame you know but I know that I am a wonderful person and at the end of the day God got me and I am covered in field I know that love still exist in my world although I lost the love of my life 4 years ago it still seems like yesterday fresh her birthday pass on the 12th of this month and I just felt so empty inside I still feel empty even though I'm trying to be in another relationship I heard someone recently though because of my feelings it's okay though it is what it is better now than never you know try to get back into doing my music did too song they're okay and guess what one of my songs I entered in the contest and supposedly I don't have a local bank so with that being said what the f*** you know but it's all good though cuz right now there's just my testimony and things is not going to always be like this life is about to change for me for the better I'm going to lead of absence from my classes because I need to put my focus back on once I start school back September 11th once I do that I am hoping and praying that I'm already living in Texas and with my king and living my best life and being happy like I deserve cuz this life I'm living today is not for me and I don't feel like Detroit is home anymore I really need to go where I want to go and be where I want to be these days my daughter is struggling and depressed why because she's have to do all types of things and put up with all type of BS wrong stuff that you shouldn't have to at all and I don't like it and I can't wait to be able to relieve her from her stress
- Writer
