Phoenix (Book Two of the Forbidden Trilogy)

Chapter Three: Unexpected

Celeste

            I couldn’t lie.  I was a nervous wreck.  There wasn’t much I had to do today when it came to portraying Constance, but what I did have to do had my gut twisting into knots. For a period there, I thought I was going to be sick.

            I was going to have to face him.  Constance’s mate, Gabriel.  I’d hoped for a little more time, hoped I could practice on our cousin, Erwin, or someone else, anyone else for that matter, before facing Gabriel.  However, from what Nikolai said, Constance and Gabriel had been inseparable.  If I avoided him, not only would Gabriel become suspicious, but so would everyone else.

            So, I would have to face him today. And, I would have to create a reason for distance. I needed to create a reason to push him away, therefore he wouldn't want to be around and, ultimately, he wouldn't notice I wasn't who I said I was.

            Nikolai assured me after I did this, Gabriel would leave, needing time and distance to accept what I had to confess to him today.  And, truthfully, I didn’t know if what Nikolai told me was true or not.  I had no choice but to trust him, though.  At least, this would give me the space and excuses needed to keep my distance from everyone else while I started my path to embodying Constance’s personality.

            Honestly, the opportunity Nikolai offered, should have made me jump for joy because it was the first step in destroying the true Constance.  It would paint her in a not-so-great light.  It would wound her reputation, and hurt her demonic mate, driving a wedge between them and hopefully starting a chain reaction which would ultimately lead Gabriel down a path he would never be able to recover from.  This would then ruin any chance of the demonic laws ever being reopened for review or overturned entirely.  It would forever seal the demon half breeds fates.  One of the many goals Victor had wanted to accomplish, especially since demons were vile, evil creatures with no hearts or souls.  They only had one driving factor:  greed.  And he had shown me time and again how true this was, especially when we worked so closely with so many demon’s and demon half breeds.  It was downright disturbing how the demons could so easily turn against each other.

            It truly couldn’t be that difficult to make Constance’s supposed demonic mate tip over that fine line he walked, right?  This was the first step towards pushing Gabriel into the darkness, and proving to the world that he was no better than any other demon out there.  That he didn’t deserve any chances, love or kindness.

            So, why did it feel so wrong to do this to Gabriel?  To a demon half breed I had never met?

            But I had met him through Constance.  I had gotten a glimpse as to the true bond they shared right before I crushed the other part of her soul.  It was something rare, something special.  Something dangerous…

            Maybe their love was true, but in the long run, it would only harm the immortal race to have demons considered as mates. He might be the exception, but that didn't mean it should change an age old law that protected every other living being from becoming a demon's pawn.  The High Immortal Councl and Continental Councils had run experiments before to determine if demons could have true and honest mates and bonds.  In the end, though, none of the bonds lasted.  They had all been destroyed by the demon’s selfish ways.

            I was also nervous because I wasn’t sure how Gabriel would react.  I didn’t know him.  Would he go ape-s**t crazy?  Would he burn down the place?  Would he hit me?  Yell at me?  Would I end up fighting for my very life?  Would Nikolai have to get involved?

            There were too many questions and what ifs!  I wasn’t used to this kind of uncertainty!  Victor had always had everything laid out and planned out.  He always had everything under control, even when it didn't feel like it. All I ever had to do was follow the instructions, the plans Victor put together.  With Victor, I’d learned his playbook and had been able to anticipate certain requirements without them ever being verbalized.  

            Here, I didn’t have the homefield advantage. This was all uncharted territory.

            As we neared the den—my cousin Erwin’s cabin—Nikolai grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him.  I was thrown off balance, and he caught me, swinging me up into his arms where he cradled me against his chest.  This… position was new, and I couldn’t say I liked being held like this.

            To give him credit, he had told me he would do something like this so I wouldn’t have to physically engage with Erwin or his pack. From what Nikolai said, they were all a very touchy feely bunch.  

            That was something I would have to get used to: physical touch.  Constance had been a rather touchy-feely person and I obviously wasn't. The thought of wanting to be hugged or touched by others seemed odd.

            “Lay your head on my shoulder and close your eyes,” he instructed quietly.  The plan was to make it seem like I was sleeping to sneak me in.  From there, Nikolai would take me to Gabriel where I would begin the process of cutting out his heart.

            It seemed to take a while before Nikolai started ascending the stairs on a porch.  As he came to rest on the porch, a door opened up.

            “Is she okay?” the new voice said.

            “Yes, just exhausted.  We had a lot of catching up to do last night. We had a lot to talk about.”

            “I don’t doubt it.” The voice affirmed.  Nikolai stepped into the house, the sound of his boots changing with the different kind of floor.

            “Do you have a fresh kill?” Nikolai asked hopefully.

            “No, but I was planning on taking the pack out to hunt later this morning." From the talk, this had to be Erwin. I really wanted to open my eyes and see him, because he was a blood relative. But I didn't want to change Nikolai's plans. I didn't know how he would react to such a drastic change.  "We wanted to make sure you both made it home, in case Dante struck again before we left.”

            Dante? Why would he attack them? 

            I felt Nikolai’s nod.  “When she wakes up, she’ll need something.”  Honestly, I didn’t need much of anything, seeing as I was in Constance’s well-fed body.  She was healthy, unlike mine had been.

            “I’ll let you know when we bring back the kill.”

            “Thank you, Erwin.  One last thing, is Gabriel back?”

            “Yes, and he is waiting for her in their room.”

            “Perfect, thank you!”  With that, Erwin’s footsteps retreated while Nikolai moved through the house.  When he came to a stop, my heart started pounding in my chest and ears.  This was it, the moment of truth!  This was do or die.  Nikolai had walked me through this, step by step at the lakeside earlier.

            I couldn’t pretend to be asleep anymore.  When I picked up my head, Nikolai placed me on my feet before the dreaded door.  “You won’t leave me, right?” I asked so softly over my shoulder, I wasn’t sure he could hear me.  My eyes fixated on the door.

            “No I won't leave you alone.  I’ll be with you the whole time,” he assured me, squeezing my hand once before letting go.

            Knowing he wouldn’t leave me stranded to face this unknown demon half breed alone, was comforting.  He was on my side…Whatever that meant.  Regardless, I had liked the way he’d said it, the way he explained it.  I just hoped it meant what I thought it did, and that, after time, it wouldn’t change.

            When I pushed open the bedroom door, my heart was in my stomach and I felt like throwing up.  How could I have agreed to doing this!?  I didn’t have one inkling of how to act like my sister.  Whatever confidence I’d ever felt about being able to pull this off had been dashed to smithereens when she’d overtaken me.  I’d fed off of Victor’s confidence, and when he’d lost it, mine had been shattered the rest of the way.

            Nikolai gave me a small, encouraging nudge to my lower back.  Taking a deep breath, I walked inside, my head held high.  Looking around the room, though, I didn’t see the demon.  The door leading into the bathroom was open and a quick glance showed it was empty too.  Where was Gabriel?

            And then I saw him.

            Through the open, sliding doors that led out onto the balcony I saw a glimpse of the Greek-godlike figure through the white curtains blowing in the winter breeze.

            Honestly!  What was it with these men and wearing little to no clothing and not being affected by the cold!?

            Taking a step closer, I studied the demon half breed curiously.  He was barefoot, wearing dark jeans that were unbuttoned and hung loose around his hips, threatening to drop at any second.  Seriously, I wondered how they stayed on him at all.  His torso was bare, gleaming with water droplets from a recent shower.  Armed with a towel, he was in the process of drying his hair.  When he was finished, I gasped at the handsome, dark features.  I’d never seen anyone like him before…

            c*****g my head, I took a better look.

            Wait…I’d seen similar features before in my dreams…

            Before I could puzzle it out, Gabriel must have felt our presence and he quickly turned to face us.  His eyes landed on mine first and a devastating smile crossed his face, revealing dimples.  The breath was nearly stolen from my chest.  No wonder Constance was pulled to this creature.  He just oozed s*x right out of his pours, and I wasn’t sure how to handle that.

            “Hello gorgeous,” he greeted, his eyes set only on me.  As if he couldn’t bear the distance, he closed it and engulfed me in a strong embrace.  Being held against his warm chest was, nice.  I guess.  I felt awkward because I didn’t know exactly how to respond.  Instead, I stood there like a statue, arms at my sides.  I wasn’t used to such intimate contact.

            Kissing my forehead, he released me before taking a closer look between Nikolai and I.  His features sobered when he took in our expressions.  “Constance, what’s wrong?” he asked gently, one hand reaching back out to stroke my shoulder and upper arm.  Focusing on me, his large hand moved distractingly up to cup my face, the gesture tender.  Confusing.  “What’s happened?”

            That was my cue, but for some reason the words were stuck in my throat.  Swallowing hard, I dropped my gaze to his chest.  A tear formed at the corner of my eye at the tumultuous, unfamiliar feelings racing through my chest.  “Um,” I whispered.  Clearing my throat, I continued.  “I have something to tell you.”

            “And what is that darlin?” he encouraged gently.  Far more gently than I would have ever anticipated from a demon.  Even a half breed.

            Closing my eyes, I took a steadying breath.  I was about to break his heart and I didn’t know why I felt so guilty about it.  He was a demon for heaven’s sake!  Opening my eyes with a determination, I looked up into his very unique blue-brown gaze.  Forcing myself not to be distracted by this creature, I plowed on.  “Gabriel.  I’m pregnant.”

            The shock in his eyes, on his face, in how he exuded it was genuine.  His fingers, which had been distractingly caressing my neck and cheek paused.  His gaze darted between me and Nikolai and I saw the wheels turning in his head.  Slowly, he lowered his hand to his side and I couldn’t explain why I was disappointed by the loss of contact.  Most likely it had something to do with Constance’s split soul.  She must have felt her mate’s presence, and responded to his touch.  That had to be the reason why I was reacting this way.  Why I was responding like I had a major crush on this evil creature of darkness.

            “Why are you telling me this now?”  With Nikolai present and acting almost like a protector?  I could almost hear that last question as he looked back at the werewolf.

            Taking another deep steadying breath, I forced myself to look Gabriel in the eyes.  “I’m not sure if they are yours…Or his,” I motioned over my shoulder to Nikolai.

            It was as if I had taken a knife to him.  The look he leveled me with was heartbreaking and I prepared myself for the imminent fallout.  Bracing myself for the blow, for the furious yelling and screaming I was sure would come. I closed my eyes and hung my head, steeling myself for the storm that was going to come. That would prove beyond a doubt just what kind of demonic creature he was.  I waited... And waited… But the rage never came.  

            I chanced a quick glance up at him and found Gabriel had sat down on the edge of the mattress, his head hanging in his hands.  He looked defeated. “It shouldn’t surprise me,” he whispered.  “You both were bonded before you were ever born.  And it has been years since you’ve seen each other.  Bonds like yours don’t just go away.  They don’t just disappear.  Do you…Do you still love him?  Are you still…?” I heard the tears in his voice, the anguish. The heartbreak.

            I wasn’t sure how to respond.  “I still love him,” I whispered, because it was how I felt.  Not love, necessarily, but a trust and affection I hadn’t ever had with anyone else.  Which, in my book, was considered as close to feeling love as I would ever get.  “And no, we are not intimate anymore.  It was a one-time thing, on Halloween.”  Nikolai had given me a back story just in case Gabriel asked.  I was thankful he had thought of it.  “Our emotions got the better of us.  Neither of us had expected anything to happen.  It just did.  My feelings for you are the same, they have never changed.  I decided to keep it a secret because it had been a mistake, and I hadn’t wanted to hurt you anymore.  I shouldn’t have done that.  I should have been honest, and I’m sorry.  When I found out I was pregnant and about how far along I was, the timeline fit for either you or Nikolai to be the father to the fetuses I am carrying.”

            “So, you were out the entire night with him discussing this?  This is the only reason you came here at eight in the morning?” I could hear the hurt and accusation in his tone.  Some anger also bled in, but I couldn’t blame him.  He stood up and paced.

            “Yes, we were just talking.”

            He scoffed.  “And how am I supposed to believe that?”

            There wasn’t anything I could refute his question with, so I stayed silent instead.

            Nodding his head, as if he’d heard and seen enough, he continued on.  “I expected this to be hard, Constance.  I never expected this to be any easy feat for us.  But, I had always trusted you.  Always loved you.  I told you things, things that could destroy me.  I laid all I was at your feet. I gave you my heart.  And yet, this is how I come to find out you cheated on me?  And I’m just supposed to trust your word when you say nothing happened last night?

            “Something obviously happened Constance!  Our bond, our sacred connection, was lost.  You shut me out!  And I cannot get back in!  And you want me to believe you when you say nothing happened between you and him!?” His voice grew in volume, but he wasn't shouting.

            I swallowed hard, my heart pounding in my ears by his outburst.  Tears ran down my face at the guilt I felt.  There was nothing I could say, even if I’d wanted to.  “I’m sorry,” I whispered.  “I swear, nothing happened,” I flitted my gaze to his and was caught.

            “Then, open your mind up to me, Constance, and prove it.”

            My lower lip trembled.  “I-I can’t.”

            Closing his eyes against the onslaught of painful things that must be running through his mind, he breathed.  Then turned and gathered up what little belongings he had.  Pulling on a shirt, and putting his boots on, he quickly readied himself to leave.  “W-Where are you going?” I asked nervously.

            “Away from here.  I need time to think things through.  To come to terms with what you’ve told me.  I think we need some space to figure out what we both want,” he finished, coming to stand before me.  “I probably won’t see you before the trial, Constance.  But, I do want you to remember…I will always be there for you if you need me.  I will always come for you Constance, regardless of time or space.  All’s you have to do is reach out to me, and I will be there.”  His declaration was heartbreaking, because I saw the raw love and passion he had—even though it was broken—for her still.  “I still love you.  And I think I always will regardless of who you choose.”

            Leaning in, he tenderly kissed my forehead once more before leaving Nikolai and I standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.

            I didn’t know how to feel or react to Gabriel’s unexpected behavior.  I had expected something more violent.  This was anticlimactic compared to how I’d imagined it going down.  Which made me question even more morals and beliefs I’d grown up with under Victor’s tutelage, and I wasn’t sure what was right anymore.

            Nikolai closed the door to the room and approached me.  Taking me into a hug, he reassured me I had done well.  “Why don’t you take a shower and then get some rest.  I’m sure you are exhausted after everything that has happened this morning and last night.”  The moment the words were out of his mouth, I felt the exhaustion creeping in.  “When you wake up, come find me.  I’ll be somewhere in this cabin.  And we will get you fed and start figuring out the grueling next several months.”

            Nodding my acknowledgement, he left me alone. I slowly circled the room, admiring the furnishings and colors. The room I'd grown up in had been grey. Dull. And, it had only held what I'd needed to survive. This was overwhelming. Overstimulating. My weary eyes fell on the bed and I touched the soft comforter, admiring the beautiful green and brown pattern. Pressing down on the mattress, I hummed my approval. I'd only ever had a cot to sleep on. A very hard, cold and thin cot. 

            Looking at the floor, I contemplated sleeping there because it was what I was more familiar with. I wasn't sure if I would be able to sleep on the bed because it was so unfamiliar. New.

            Well, I could start on the bed, and if I wasn't able to sleep, then I would move myself onto the floor. Pulling back the comforter, I promptly fell into the sheets and was in heaven. The sheets were so soft and held me like a comforting hug. Surprisingly, the moment I pulled up the comforter, my eyes closed and I passed out.