Life is not a dream

Rejection

I thought the worst of the night had passed. I couldn't be more wrong.

Not a minute had passed since Sean left me alone when the bar door opened and I see Michael coming out and coming to meet me. My head was still a thousand around trying to reason with everything that was going on when I heard Michael's voice.

(Michael) "So you wanted to talk to me?"

(Me) "Humm???? Me? No. Who told you that?"

(Michael) "It was Sean when he came in. He told me to come outside because you wanted to talk to me."

(Me) "Hum.... No. Sean asked if I wanted to be alone and I said yes."

(Michael) "KKK This Sean is something else.”

Michael's laughter left me confused. Sean sent him out to talk to me, but why? What would be His intention? The answer soon appeared.

(Michael) "Soooo Tiff, how's that crush of yours for Sean?"

(Me) "Hum???? What crush? What are you talking about?" I was just starting to admit to myself that I realy was getting lost in love with Sean, but I wouldn't admit it to his friend. The first person to know should be Sean.

(Michael) "You don't have to hide it from me, I know. I can see you're falling in love with Sean and let me give you some advice. Sean doesn't want to have any relationship, and he's not going to change for anyone and not even for you. Save yourself some pain and forget about him. You're not going to get anything good out of him."

These words fell like stones on me. Suddenly it was as if all the pain in the world had focused on me. I wanted to cry, but I would allow me such weakness. I had to be strong. I had to lie.

(Me) "Don't worry that I´m not fall in love with Sean, but thanks for the warning."

The words came out of my mouth without any feeling. I don't know how I did it yet, but I swallowed everything I was feeling at the time, suppressed all my feelings by locking them somewhere in the confines of my heart. I lifted my head, emptied my gaze, took a deep breath filling myself with courage and decided to face my pain in the form of people. I walked into the bar and I reacted like absolutely nothing happened. Like there's nothing in the world that's bothering me. I refused to look and even approach Sean for the rest of the night. In fact, I refused to keep playing that ridiculous game that nothing good was doing me.

I got the message. I wish it had come from him himself. I'd rather he was the one telling me that, that he didn't love me and that he didn't want to be with me. It was even more painful to hear from his friend. If that's the way he wanted it to be thats fine.

I decided I had to change my life and do what I could and the impossible to forget how I felt about Sean.

It seemed like luck was on my side. We were in the vacation season of the bar that would be closed for a few weeks granting me the opportunity to get even more physically away from Sean. What used to be a t*****e was  now being a blessing to me. During these weeks he didn't call me and we didn't exchange messages. Everything was on track for my mission to forget him.

Not wanting to love someone wasn´t that easy and as much as I was still having difficult to admit what I was feeling was love. My first true love and I had to get over it. But how do you do that?

It is known by all that only a new love will erase the previous and was that I tried to do.

I immersed myself in a new romance.

Almost as divine providence I met a man who at first enchanted me. At that moment when sadness was the one that was most present in me, someone with the ability to make me laugh to the point of crying with laughter was even what I needed and that's what Felix did to me.

Felix was a young man with dark blond hair and light brown eyes. His body was well delineated despite not being muscular and with an incredible sense of humor. It was impossible to be sad around him. I met him through some friends of my sister Beth. They were trying to form a band and Beth could become the lead singer. How they didn´t had where to rehearse Felix gave his house for rehearsals and I went with her everywhere. While the group rehearsed Felix and I watched.

At first he didn't seem interested in me, but he quickly noticed that I wasn't indifferent to his mood and even blushed a few times as he spoke directly to me. Quickly his interest in me increased and I decided to give him a chance. After all, it wouldn't hurt. At least no worse than Sean had done to me.

Three days after we met, he asked me out with him alone, and of course I said yes. It was hard to talk wile the group was rehearsing or looking at us.

We decided to meet downtown to go get an ice cream or a drink. We needed a neutral place. I wasn't going to meet him for the first time at his house. After all I was still very shy and pure and he realized this, at least part of shyness.

Our evening together was very pleasant.  We talked a lot and of course we laughed a lot. We had a chance to know a litle of each other, but time ran. I had to take the bus home, and the last one was at midnight.

He walked to the bus stop and he stayed with me until I had to leave. Before we said goodbye, he asked me to meet him again the next day. He'd liked to be with me, and I wanted to see him again.

I didn't see any harm in that. It had been super nice so I accepted. Before we went home we exchanged numbers and we exchanged messages the rest of the night. We end up going out every day. We didn't even realize we were together whenever we could. Same when the rehearsals were over, that is, the band didn't work, we always found time to meet.

The inevitable eventually happened and we ended up getting involved.

Having a boyfriend now I couldn't pay as much attention to my sister and walk around with her everywhere.  Mostly to go to the bar when this one opened. I didn't want to run into Sean.

Even though I was having a good time with Felix, I was afraid of my reaction to seeing Sean. It was still very recent and I decided to protect myself.

As Beth had arranged another company to go with her to the bar I was more at peace.